


Teenage Anthem

by butimbroken



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 09:37:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 112,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3115229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butimbroken/pseuds/butimbroken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy/Angel. Buffy is the new girl in Sunnydale and finds herself drawn to the mysterious Angel who shares a history of dark secrets. Very Mature Themes. AU. COMPLETE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Liam "Angel" Angelus was eighteen years old, though he could easily pass for older... which was something that he often took advantage of, whenever the need presented itself. Or whenever he felt like it. It could come in handy at time. He had a dangerous look to him. His dark, tall, spiked hair, his hard brown eyes. He was intimidating, though he thought people were really easily scared off. He could do much worse than that, after all. He worked out, a fact that was usually easily outlined with his way of dressing. He knew he was above average on the attractive scale, but he didn't care. Never had. He had no use for things like that.

Angel was aware that he was attracted to girls. It was a fact, he'd never doubted it. But they were too afraid of him to actually walk within a twelve feet radius of him. If didn't bother him though, he didn't have any use for any of them. 

At some point, he had thought it odd that he was still a virgin, yet he'd never really cared about it more than necessary... he had considered just using a bimbo or two as fuck buddies, just to get it over with, but had eventually realized that he didn't want to even need someone for that. So, he'd let it go.

People in this town were known to be afraid of him, that they had been ever since he had arrived a few short years earlier. Another thing, he didn't care too much on either. He and his younger brother Connor had moved to this hell-hole called Sunnydale to live with their aunt, who also happened to be one of his teachers, Jenny Calendar. It hadn't taken very long for the rumors to start spreading like fire on powder. He knew all about them, and if he had to be honest... actually kind of liked them too.

Teachers, students, women... people... all knew as a rule knew not to fuck with him. And no one did.

School was easy for him. He enjoyed learning... his only problem, really, was with people. Within a few short weeks following his arrival, he had found the easiest way to avoid them all, and keep them at bay. 

Angel never spoke to anyone. At all. And no one dared to speak to him. There had been a time or two when some had tried, but they'd only done it once. He'd just slowly graze their way and shoot out his infamous glare, and he could be sure they would never try again.

He had murder in his eyes. Cold blooded, pitiless, and instantaneously deadly. His first day was all it took. A few hours, and everyone knew to leave him be. They were just too scared. His path wasn't one to be crossed, it became a very obvious fact after that day. And it wasn't just at school... no, it was the whole damn town. No one messed with him. Ever. Hell, even Jenny was afraid of him it seemed more than half of the time.

OoOoO

Angel was in the library, school had yet to start but Jenny's car had broken down again so he'd been driving her and Connor here in the morning, earlier than necessary for him. He didn't mind though. He had driven her, seen if she needed any help, and then he'd come in here. He liked the place contrary to many of the other students who couldn't bear to set a foot in the room... something about the somehow dark atmosphere scared them away. A fact that Angel was more than grateful for... at least here, he could be alone. 

He was upstairs, hidden among the large bookshelves, looking for something that would strike his interest. Hopefully something he hadn't yet read, though the possibility of finding such a rarity was getting very unlikely as the months went by. He was running his fingers on the books' covers when the sound of a feminine voice startled him out of his thoughts.

"Um... hello? Is anybody here? A librarian maybe?" the girl's voice carried through the library. "Hello?" she asked again when she got no response.

Angel groaned inwardly and buried himself deeper in the shelves, firmly set on ignoring her.

"Hello?" she called again after a moment or two, impatience clear in her voice.

Angel just grabbed a book off the shelf in front of him and started flipping through it, hoping against all odds that it would help drowning the noise she made out.

There was a short period of silence but before he could thank the Heavens, he heard someone coming up the stairs. Before he could even react or curse under his breath, she was calling about again. "Oh librarian? Librarian? Where are you?" she called like she would a cat. "Come here, little librarian!" Her voice kept coming closer and it didn't take long before he could feel her presence a few feet away from him. Her voice rang up into his ears again. "You're not the librarian," she accused after a second or two of staring at him.

New blood, obviously, otherwise she would have known better than to engage in a conversation with him. Or at least a semblance of conversation.

And that annoyed him. More than annoyed, even. 

He had his death glare on as he turned to face her... but it didn't last long. A first for him. As he raised his eyes, he immediately came face to face with a blonde, whose features he couldn't completely make out in the darkness of the room. But despite that fact, he still decided she looked pretty enough, before wondering where on earth that thought had come from. He wanted nothing more than to get rid of her. But nevertheless, the sight of the unknown girl unsettled him a little.

She barely saw the look in his eyes, but it was enough for her to take a step back... before narrowing her eyes at him. He stared right back at her, not used to having anyone hold his gaze. Finally, she huffed and went about her journey down the aisles. "Oh librarian? Come out come out wherever you are!" she called as she peeked around.

Angel was almost in shock. He could feel his heart beat faster, his blood pumping through his veins. His hands were gripped hard onto the book he'd opened in his hands, and his knees were a bit shaky. He was trying to get a grip on the situation when she was back in front of him. He swallowed and looked at her.

"You're still not the librarian," then her eyes narrowed again, "Are you?"

"No," he answered, his voice low.

She half-rolled her eyes and huffed, before turning and going back to the stairs, down them and onto the main floor. "Ugh! Where are you?" she called, now searching the main floor better.

Angel took a second then, and for reasons unknown to him, walked to the railing that over looked down to where she was. "Giles," he said.

"Huh?" she spun around looking confused.

"The-the librarian. His name is Giles." he said, then started to go back to the shelves, but before he could make it far enough she called back to him.

"First or last?"

"Huh?" he asked, turning back her way.

"First or last name? Jeeves or whatever."

"Giles. And it's his, um... last name."

"Oh," she looked around distracted, "Is he here?" she asked.

"He wasn't when I came in so I doubt it."

"Oh," she said again, "Great." She looked around for a second, before pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Thanks," she said back up to him.

Angel just nodded then, and went back to the darkness of the shelves. He was confused as ever. Not sure why he wasn't trying to kill the girl, and why he was even engaging in a conversation with her.

For a long time he tried thinking about that, hoping to find a rational explanation to his behavior, and was so deep in thoughts that he never heard Giles come in, or most of the conversation he'd been having with the strange blonde.

He hurried to grab a few books then his bag and started towards the steps.

"Okay then, Jeeves."

"Giles, Miss Summers," he corrected her, before noticing Liam Angelus walking down the stairs. He only looked up that way for a second before dropping back down to the new girl. "This should be all you'll need, at least for right now."

"Cool," she said looking at her books. "Lucky me, huh?"

Angel walked past her from behind, noting she even looked good from that point of view... A small body, gentle hips, and long blond hair that brushed her back... He went and sat his books on the counter, standing a good few feet away from her.

Giles started wordlessly going through the checkout, carefully avoiding looking his way, but the blonde on the other hand didn't have such reservations. He could feel her eyes on him, looking him up and down, and he had to bite back a smile that wanted to play across his lips at her actions. Giles hurried through the process and scooted the books more towards Angelus on the counter, then gave him a slight smile, his eyes cast downward. He then headed back towards Buffy.

Angel was surprised to find as he put the books into his bag how much he didn't really want to leave. The bell was about to ring, and kids would be heading to their classes in a second, but that had nothing to do with it. Nothing at all. And yet, he didn't act on his strange urge to stay.

He sighed, slung his bag over his shoulder, stole a glance her way before slowly heading towards the door. He had only taken two steps before Snyder came bursting through the doors. "Miss Summers," he called, looking her way. In order to do that he'd also had to meet Angel's gaze, which made him shudder and step a bit more out to the side to walk around him.

Angel mentally chuckled.

"Miss Summers," he said again, "I asked you to come to the library and get books, not dilly-dally around!"

"I wasn't. Jeeves here, well... wasn't... here, that is. So I waited, and talked to that guy," she said, and he knew she was pointing a finger towards his retreating back.

Snyder gasped, then moved closer to her and grabbed her arm. "He didn't hurt you, did he? Are you okay?"

"What? Yeah I'm fine," she said, giving him strange looks. "Can I have my arm back please?" she asked when the older man continued to hold on to her.

And with that being said, Angel pushed through the doors just in time for the first bell to ring.

OoOoO

Angel went off to his class, never looking back. He arrived a few minutes before most of his classmates and went straight to his seat at the back of the room, his usual place. In every one of his classes he would sit behind the others, and in a corner. Hidden and left alone, that was how he liked it best. That was his way to fit in. Teachers at first hadn't assigned them in that way, but it hadn't taken them long to realize that arguing with him was pointless… and possibly a mistake. No one ever sat beside him. In front of him either, and even diagonally… or at one or two seats in each row in that direction, which, really, was just fine with him.

He pulled his book and notebook out of his bag along with some pens just as more students started piling in, doing his best to ignore their mindless chatter as he sketched on the paper. Only when he really looked at what he'd been doing for the last few minutes did he realize that he was drawing the girl he'd just met. But as much as he'd tuned the rest of the world out, he couldn't help but jump out of his reverie when someone mentioned something about a new transferred student.

As a rule, there wasn't much action at Sunnydale High, and such a thing as a new girl arriving in town, and a pretty one at that, had to be worth a few days of gossip. They had to be talking about her, he didn't need to be a genius to understand that. He wasn't about to join in on any of their conversations, but had no problems whatsoever with listening in on them.

Putting his pen down, he carefully bent his head their way, hoping to catch some information about her that could help him figure out who she was. Starting with her first name, for example. That would be nice.

To his disappointment, however, information was precisely what they all lacked. As it seemed, he knew more about her than any of them, and really, that wasn't saying a lot. Sighing in annoyance, he sat back in his chair and grabbed his pen before resuming his work.

What he knew couldn't really qualify as crucial details. Really, the only thing he knew for sure was that her last name was Summers, and that she was the new kid at school. Nothing terribly useful.

Well, actually, if he racked his brain a little, or took a second to think about it, he could also say that she was pretty funny, intentionally or not. That she was breathtakingly beautiful, with blonde hair, a light honey blonde and not some crazy shade of yellow coming straight out of a bleach bottle like most girls their age. She had fierce green eyes that seemed to see right through you, she wasn't tall, not in the least… maybe five two or five three at best. She was thin but not another anorexic teen wannabe… smooth and gentle curves in all the right places. Oh and, yeah, now that he thought about it… she had this strange pull over him that he didn't quite understand.

No, he didn't know a thing… he would have snorted if he'd found it even remotely funny. But all those things… they were just his perception of her. What he wanted was real information. For the first time in a long while, Angel wanted to get to know somebody. Where she used to live, why she had moved here, what her first name was, if she had any nicknames, how old she was, what grade she was in, if she had any siblings… Any boyfriends.

Yeah, about it, he knew nothing… and he really didn't like it.

His teacher's shrilling voice had him reluctantly pull out of the reverie he was currently indulging in, a slide show of all the images of her he had managed to keep in his mind from their rather short encounter.

Sighing, he shook his head and tried to listen.

OoOoO

Two more classes came and went, unfortunately none of them with her, and he hadn't even seen her once in the halls in between. Some rational part of him knew he was thinking about her too much, but he couldn't help himself. He still knew next to nothing, but at least two things had transpired from the conversations he'd managed to eavesdrop on. One… she was a sophomore. And two… she was transferred here from Los Angeles.

'Welcome to the mouth of Hell…' he thought.

Since it was now the lunch period, he went to his locker and put some extra baggage he had on him away. He hadn't brought anything to eat, figuring he'd go off campus but had now changed his mind… Hoping to get a glimpse of the girl that had haunted his thoughts all morning, he wandered around campus.

He checked by the cafeteria first, scanning the too large crowd, trying the pick her form out of the throngs of people all heading for the same direction, and the same fate: a small death by gradual food poisoning. Or possibly a lobotomy, he still hadn't decided. He didn't see her but knew he could have easily missed her… and to be honest, he didn't really think she'd want to be hanging out in there anyway.

He walked over to the vending machine and got out a few small snacks and a bottle of water before heading towards the front doors. He didn't know if he'd see her, but still held the hope that he would. He scanned the area, as he walked over to an empty bench, but she wasn't anywhere in sight. Setting his bag next to him as he sat down, he laid down his snacks to open his water bottle, once more taking in the scene around him.

There were three tables a few yards ahead of him, all nicely spread out from across the lawn. It was a beautiful day like any other in southern California, and many students had fled the cafeteria to come here and enjoy the warmth with their friends. The table on his left was currently occupied by Percy West, Larry Blaisdell, Nina Ash, Scott Hope and some more of the popular jock-type of kids. The one directly in front of him was empty, and if he had to hazard a guess he would probably say that the seat about to fall off might have something to do with that. And finally, at the one to his right sat a tiny red haired girl he knew to be Willow Rosenberg. The skinny redhead was younger than him, but since she was the smartest student in school, she had been assigned to show him around when he arrived.

He had to smile at the memories… she didn't last too long around him. Surprise, surprise. In fact after that, she'd refused to do the meet and greet. Another name on the long list of persons he'd chased away.

He took the last bite of his Twinkie then grabbed in his backpack for his notebook again.

OoOoO

'Don't look at him, just pretend he isn't there,' Willow ordered herself. She had felt Liam Angelus looking in her direction, and truthfully, it scared the hell out of her. That guy always knew how to give people the creeps, that was for sure. One glance at him on his first day and she had known that he would terrify her to no end. She didn't know what in the world his deal was, but she definitely wasn't going to be the one who would ask to find out. 

So, instead of acknowledging him, she just sat there, trying to focus on taking small bites of the salad her mother had made for her... and praying that Xander and Jesse would hurry up, or that Liam would move away.

OoOoO

Buffy sure wasn't having the easiest day. Snyder definitely had something up his ass about her and she was tired of it. Plus his freaking out over her talking to the hottie earlier was so out there it was freaky. 

He had kept her in his office for so long, she had missed all but the last ten minutes of her first class. Well, since it had been math she really couldn't complain too much. But as if it wasn't enough, or just to make her day crappier than it already was, she already had to study for a science quiz, on top of just getting caught up. And then just before lunch she'd been assigned to do an English report, again on top of getting caught up in the first place.

It wasn't even the afternoon yet and she was already ready to call it quits and leave… possibly to hide in her bedroom for the rest of her life.

Though, thankfully her English teacher had at least taken pity on her, and given her extra time to catch up, telling her who she had to turn to for help. And right now, that was the mission she'd set for herself. She put her things in her locker and checked the halls looking for the two people she wanted to find, before heading to the cafeteria when she saw neither. Once there, she scanned the faces, but there were too many of them and once again, neither of them was in sight.

Having been told that students were allowed to leave for lunch, or to eat on the grass outside where there were plenty of sitting places, she headed there, not wanting to spend a minute more than necessary in the cafeteria. Quickly walking down the halls, she went out the doors.

Once outside, she looked around, shading her eyes with her hand. Seeing a redhead in the distance, she walked towards the girl, her bright hair a beacon in the virtual darkness she was currently living in… it gave her some hope.

Taking a chance that it would be the right person, she let a smile grace her face as she approached her.

OoOoO

Angel was ready to give up hope. He'd finished his snacks and his water, and now, having nothing else to do and after giving up trying to sketch the girl's features, realizing that there was something about her that he couldn't quite get right, he was bored out of his mind.

He reached over and threw the wrappers and empty bottle into the trash can, and decided to look once more for her, hoping to catch the elusive detail he'd tried to put on paper for the last few minutes without succeeding.

He wasn't really expecting to find her at all, but finally after all those hours, there she was. Walking in his direction… though he didn't really think she seemed to be so focused on him.

OoOoO

"Hi!" Buffy said, and watched the girl turn towards her, kind of startled.

"Oh, hi… um… did you want me to move?"

"Um… no? I actually kind of want you to stay. I'm Buffy, the new girl, and I was wondering if I could maybe sit down with you for lunch?" she smiled.

"Oh. Oh!" the redhead replied, her face brightening up, and her eyes widening in surprise. "Sure! Sit! Hi! I'm Willow! Sorry about that…"

"Not a problem," Buffy smiled again and slid down on the table bench. Only then did she notice her mysterious stranger. His eyes were locked with hers as he looked at her so intently she felt herself blush. She gave him a smile.

Willow was terrified. The girl next to her was looking and… smiling! In the direction of Liam. 'She's new! This is her first day! She doesn't know any better! Please don't let him kill her before I have a chance to make a friend…' she pleaded silently. "What are you doing? Don't look at him!" she hissed.

"Huh?" Buffy took her eyes off him to stare at the Willow girl. "Why not?"

Willow was about to reply when a male voice interrupted her.

"Hello, ladies."

Buffy turned around to identify the source, but Willow already knew who it belonged to. "Hey Xander! Nice to see you finally made it. And hey Jesse. How'd your test go?"

"Fine and dandy, my dear. Who's your friend?" he asked, nodding at Buffy.

"Buffy, this is Xander and Jesse. Jesse and Xand, this is Buffy."

The two boys smiled at her, immediately engaging in a strange conversation she didn't take long to join. They were fun, she decided, even if a little odd at first.

Suddenly, that day was taking a turn for the better.

OoOoO

The kid he knew as Xander Harris had just sat down in Angel's way, making it hard for him to see anything but the shoulder of the blonde. He guessed Xander felt his eyes boring into him because he made the mistake of turning around, which as a result had him look directly in the face of someone who looked ready to murder him.

Angel smirked inside as the boy shivered and turned away quickly.

OoOoO

"Man, I hate that guy!"

"Shh! Xander! He'll hear you!" Willow warned in a panicked voice, glancing wildly around as she tried to see if anybody had heard her friend's outburst.

Xander mumbled something while Buffy checked their faces, unsure of the whole thing.

"Why?"

"Huh?" the boy replied, at a loss.

"Why do you hate him so much? What did he do?" Buffy insisted.

"Oh, you mean besides the fact that he's a complete psychopath? You want a list?" Xander quipped.

Buffy laughed. "Come on… he can't be all that bad."

"You're new. Wait and see, precious."

She glared at him, "Don't call me precious," she warned, before shrugging. "He seemed nice," she finally said.

"Nice? Nice? Have you seen 'the look?' It's evil! He's evil!"

"Brings a whole new meaning to 'if looks could kill," Jesse added, nodding.

"Come on. I talked to him earlier and he seemed…"

"You what?" willow shouted. "Talked? Talked? Talked to him? He doesn't talk to anybody!"

"Willow!" Xander said with wide eyes, which made Willow's eyes widening as well. She blushed before quieting down. "Sorry. You just… surprised me."

Buffy laughed again. "I wouldn't have guessed."

OoOoO

Angel heard Willow's shrieking and guessed it probably had to do with him, and that they were probably talking about him right now. He tried to listen but they'd lowered their voices and he was too far away to hear anything but murmurs.

He knew it wouldn't take long before she heard all the many stories about him, and for the first time he actually cared. He didn't want her to think he was a monster.

He sighed and looked her way, his view still blocked by Xander's big head, and gathered his things up. He decided to go ahead to Jenny's class, he thought he'd check up on her, and that was where he was headed anyway. It was his first class of the afternoon.

OoOoO

Buffy heard some pretty wild things about this Liam fellow while eating lunch. Willow and her friends, once asked, were more than happy to fill her in on the many rumors about the school's freak, or so they seemed to consider him.

'Liam? He sure doesn't look like no Liam. Or like this murdering fool they're making him out to be, for that matter…'

When they decided to finally change the subject, Buffy got her chance to ask Willow for some study help. The redhead had beamed at the idea, and happily accepted to help her new friend in any way possible. "Buffy, what's your next class?" she asked when the bell rang, standing up and gathering her things.

"Oh um…" she pulled out her schedule from her pants' pocket. "Computers. Teacher's name is Calendar," Buffy replied, shrugging.

"Hey, same here for me and Jesse!" Willow said happily. "You know where it is?"

"Actually no… Think you could show me? I'll be your best friend?" the blonde asked, smiling sweetly.

Willow laughed. "Sure, come on," she said, walking towards the main hall.


	2. Chapter Two

Willow, Buffy and tons of other students came into Jenny's classroom. The redhead smiled and left to go to her seat while Buffy walked to the her new computers teacher to introduce herself. As the rest of the class sat down and got their books out of their school bags, Jenny smiled at Buffy, gesturing her to come closer.

The blonde grinned back, the woman seemed nice, and friendly when she asked about her first day at school... maybe that class wouldn't be so boring after all. She had almost expected some greasy and smelly old computer geek to be teaching the class, but this Ms Calendar was so much better in so many ways. For starters, she seemed socially integrated, and that was always a plus.

When the room quietened down she turned and lightly grabbed Buffy's arm before smiling at her students. "Everyone, this is Buffy Summers. She's our new student from Los Angeles, this is her first day and I'd like you all to make her feel welcome," Jenny said, hoping to not embarrass the girl too much. She knew how teenagers worked and thought... or so she liked to believe, at least. She looked over the room spotting a few empty seats and mentally trying to remember if they were actually empty or that student just wasn't there yet. "I guess we should find you a seat," the brunette teacher told Buffy with a smile.

"Sure. How about over there?" Buffy suggested while pointing to a seat next to Liam.

There were gasps as her classmates heard her words, and concern for her safety was written all over their faces. Jenny herself couldn't hide her fear, though she tried as hard as she could. After the initial shock, she cleared her head and was going to direct Buffy as far away from her nephew as possible, but noticed too late that the girl had taken advantage of her surprise and was already walking down the rows towards him.

Dread filled her and she wanted to say or do something, anything, stop the girl, but she couldn't move. So, she just watched, along with the rest of the class, waiting to see the horror they couldn't make themselves prevent unfold before their eyes.

Angel had noticed her the second she walked in, and had watched her every move since. They had locked eyes once Jenny had turned her more to the front and he had felt the moment steal his breath. He could see and feel everyone's fear as she started towards him, deciding that was where she was choosing to sit. He wasn't sure how he felt about that himself. He just kept his eyes locked with hers as she made her way closer to him, a smile lightly playing on her lips.

She finally reached the table beside his, the chair closer to him, and she sat down. She smiled at him then back at Jenny before putting her book bag down on the floor.

The fact that she had chosen to sit at the table next to him, instead of beside him at his, was almost bothering him as he looked at her.

Everyone was holding their breath, cringing away as much as they could in their seats. Then, after a few tense moments, Jenny sighed in relief. Angel hadn't killed the girl, that was all that mattered. She gathered herself up and then smiled and started the class.

While Jenny's back was turned, Buffy decided to take this moment to lean over closer to her handsome love interest. "Hi. Nice seeing you again," she said. "I'm Buffy, by the way."

He slowly looked at her and didn't say anything at first. "Angel," he finally uttered.

"Angel? I thought your name was Liam?" she asked, confused.

"You can call me Angel," he stated simply.

"Alright," she smiled and leaned back as Jenny turned around.

Jenny barely caught it, but she did. And she had much trouble hiding her surprise. 'He was talking to her', she thought, as if telling herself what she'd just seen would make it more believable. But what had her definitely speechless, was the way the two kept glancing at each other, and the smiles they were trying to hide. Both of them were trying to hide.

Shaking herself out of her stunned daze, she decided to take the rest of the hour and watch the two of them interact as much as she could. This could really be interesting...

OoOoO

When the bell rang, they both started gathering up their belongings. Buffy checked her schedule to make sure she was going to be heading in the right direction. As she glanced up, she noticed Angel a few feet ahead of her. She hurried up, grabbed her bag and stood up quickly, reaching him as they got up to Miss Calendar's desk. "So, what'd you got next?" she asked him.

"Uh, Walsh."

"Oh hey! Me too! Care to show me how to get from here to there?" she asked.

Angel looked at her, and then at his aunt. He usually would stay here for a minute or two and catch up with her. But Buffy was asking him to go... damn, he sure as hell wasn't used to this kind of situation. "Well, actually..."

Jenny, having noticed and pretty much guessing what he was thinking, started waving her arms to wave him off.

He frowned, looking at her with confusion written all over his face, as she started shooing him out the best she could. He raised an eyebrow at first, but then shrugged. If she wanted him out, well, he wasn't going to protest, it put an end to his dilemma after all. "Uh, sure..." he finally told the blonde.

Together they started walking down the hall, neither minding the looks, whispers and gasps from everyone having seen them together.

"So... everyone around here seems to be kind of... well, afraid of you," she said finally.

"Everyone but you?" he smirked.

"I'm a special case. Obviously. So, hey, what's the deal? Why are they scared?"

"They've got their reasons," he replied, shrugging.

"Okay, Mister Cryptic."

"We're here," he said suddenly as they stood before a classroom's door.

"Oh..." she uttered, slightly disappointed that their little chat was already over. "Is she mean?"

He frowned at her question, not quite getting what she meant. "Who?"

"Walsh," Buffy replied as she nodded to the blonde woman inside.

Angel just shrugged. "Not to me."

"Go figure," she rolled her eyes and followed him in.

Buffy didn't get a chance to sit by Angel in Walsh's class. Instead, she got sat next to a dark-haired boy named Jonathan who kept looking at her like she had two heads. But she didn't think too much of it, guessing she probably already knew why.

When the class ended Angel had hurried out of the room and was out of her sight before she knew it. She sighed and looked at her schedule. 'Gym. Yipee...' she thought dejectedly, but she was thankful, for once she knew where she was going.

She got there, ready for this day to be over.

'Two more hours Buffy. You can do it.'

OoOoO

Rupert Giles was straightening up the library getting ready for the final hour of the school day. He held a study hall in here, and was thankful there was only a handful of kids in it.

The only thing was that Liam Angelus happened to be one of them, and was now making his way through the door. As usual, the boy climbed up the stairs and headed to the back. There was a small table in a corner back there he always sat at during the final period.

Giles never minded. He let the students sit where they pleased in here, and surely didn't mind staying out of the older Angelus' way.

The bell rang minutes before Buffy entered. "Hey there, Jeeves!" she told the librarian with a big smile on her face.

"Yes, Miss Summers, hello," he replied, reaching up to toy with his glasses.

"Sorry, I'm late, I got..."

"It's fine, Miss Summers. How's your first day going so far?"

"Don't even ask! I have to write a paper, any suggestions on what I should read?" she asked, and the two talked for a few minutes to help her decide what books or types of books she might want to go check out. "Where do I put my stuff?" Buffy asked after they were done and she was ready to go look upstairs.

"Wherever you feel comfortable," he smiled. "I let the students choose their own seating in here."

"Okay then," she shrugged and laid her things down on the main table and in one of the chairs. She then went to go browse the shelves.

At first neither of them noticed one another. But then as she got closer to the back she spotted him.

Buffy smiled and grabbed her book before walking over to him. "Can I see your license?" she asked.

He looked up at her, a confused look on his face.

"Your license," she repeated, "do you have one?"

"Yes..."

"Can I see it?"

"Why?"

"I'll tell you that after you show it to me."

"Other way around."

She shook her head firmly, clearly indicating that there would no changing her mind.

He paused at first, not sure what he was going to say, but finally made up his mind. "No..."

She shrugged. "Okay..." then she turned and walked back down to take her seat.

Angel sat stunned for a moment, trying once more to figure out what had happened. Before he could even think about stopping himself, he quickly gathered his things and went down to take a seat beside her. She didn't acknowledge his presence, didn't even look up from her book, or blink, or anything... she just sat there, pretending to be engrossed in her reading. "Why?" Angel finally asked.

"Why what?"

"Why do you want to see my license?"

She shrugged. "I got reasons."

He shook his head and sighed, unsure about everything taking place. Since she still hadn't looked up he just grabbed back some of his homework and sat it on the table, leaning back into his chair as they stayed in silence.

Giles had heard the rumors that spread like wildfire about Buffy and Liam all afternoon, but he hadn't really believed it... Really, people in this town were known to have quite the imagination. But now, here they were. Sitting together and talking... and it was a very odd experience he couldn't help but stare at.

He got so caught up in it he didn't hear the guidance counsellor coming in.

"Buffy Summers?" the man called, making both her and Angel raise their heads. Flutie noticed the Angelus boy sitting by her and shuddered, more so now because his eyes were on him. He tried to calm himself and not jump out of his skin as he got closer to the young girl. "Miss Summers?"

"Yep," she replied with a nod, smiling, "Hi there."

"I'm Bob Flutie, the guidance counsellor here at Sunnydale High."

"Oh... umm... hi?"

"I was wondering if you and I could have a word," he said, turning to the librarian, "That is if it's okay with you, Rupert?"

"Oh yes, fine," the older man quickly replied.

"Okay, have a seat," she waved to the chair in front of her.

"What? Oh no Miss Summers..." he said, shaking his head.

"Buffy. You can call me Buffy, Mister Flutie."

He nodded. "Alright. And you can call me Bob. Now Buffy I was meaning maybe we could speak somewhere quieter... in my office perhaps?"

"Mister Flu..." she started, before catching herself, "Bob... I already know what you want to talk to me about, and you don't have to worry about it. Okay, I know my record is a bit colorful, but..."

"Colorful, Miss Summers?" he said, forgetting for a moment about Liam Angelus, "Do you really think that's the word for it?"

"Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad."

"You burnt down Hemery High's gym," he stated, his eyebrows raised, and Angel and Giles both turned their heads towards her, with a look of surprise that the blonde would probably have found comical if the situation were different.

She nodded emphatically. "I did... I really did, but you're not seeing the big picture here. That gym was full of vampires!"

At that precise moment, after hearing what was certainly the oddest statement he would ever hear, Angel for the life of him couldn't hold in the laugh that erupted from him, a heartfelt laugh that got the attention of everyone in the room.

Seeing that people started whispering around them, he did his best to quiet down and get everyone's eyes off him.

Buffy smiled as she watched him. She took a lot of pride in making him laugh, figuring he didn't do much of that. When it was over, she turned her attention back to Flutie.

"Well..." he said after being startled by Angel, "Buffy why don't you just come into my office tomorrow and we can talk some, alright?"

She shrugged. "Sure."

And with that, Bob Flutie left the room.

Angel watched him leave then smirked at her. "Vampires, huh?"

For the first time in what seemed like forever to him, she looked at him, her eyes twinkling. "Yep. Lots of them."

"Uh huh."

"There was a school play. Think Dracula meets Phantom of the Opera meets... Friends, or something. It was horrible."

"So... you burnt the gym down?"

She shrugged again, and went back to her book.

He stared for a few moments longer, then did the same.

When he realized how badly he couldn't concentrate on the words, he reached into his pocket to grab his licence, and he slid it over to her... unsure as to why. Why he did it and why she wanted to see it.

Buffy hadn't noticed what he was doing until he laid it close to her. She lifted up one of her hands from the side of her book to cover up the smile taking over her face, and then she carefully reached down to the small card and picked it up to look it over. When she was done, she leaned over and gently laid it down on the very top of the book he was pretending to read.

Their arms barely touched but the contact sent a shock through them both.

"I wanted to see how old you were," she said.

"Why?"

"Curious. You wouldn't believe the things people said about you..."

"And you couldn't have just asked me?"

She smiled at him. "That wouldn't have been as fun or interesting now would it have?"

He smiled back, making the butterflies in her stomach go crazy. "I guess not."

"So... do I get to see yours?" he asked after a pause.

"See my what? Oh... no. I don't drive." Buffy replied.

"Why not?"

"Buffy plus cars equals all kinds of bad. Trust me. It all spells disaster."

Angel just raised his eyebrows, "Uh huh..." He remained silent for a second, before he decided to ask the obvious question she didn't seem to want to answer. "So..."

"So what?" she asked, looking at him strangely.

"Aren't you going to tell me?"

"Tell you..."

"How old you are seeing as I don't have a license to ask for."

She gave him another brilliant smile, and he could swear he'd just felt his heart skip a beat. "You're just asking? That's not fun. Or interesting."

He just glared at her. "Maybe I'm not a fun or interesting type of guy."

The blonde let out a chuckle. "Liam Angelus, I kind of doubt that."

There was the silence again, and he knew she wasn't going to answer. He chuckled softly and went back to his homework.

For the rest of the study period they sat there without a word. Often, they snuck looks at one another, and from time to time Buffy would make funny faces at him to see him smile.

Every time he did she thought his whole face lit up, in such a way that, for some reason, made her happy... and kind of feel like a pile of goo.

When the bell rang, they both slowly started collecting their things, not quite ready to leave each other's side just yet.

"Sixteen," she said as she slung her bag over her shoulder. "I'm sixteen."

Angel gave her a half smile. "I thought I was supposed to be interesting to find that out."

Buffy grinned back at him. "You were," she said, then walked around the desk to get to the door. "See you tomorrow," she called back.

Angel followed her movements and got to the door, his eyes watching her taking steps from him until he couldn't see her anymore. He went to his locker first, before heading to Jenny's room to see if she was ready.

"So, what's this I hear about you and the hot new chick?" Connor asked as soon as he stepped in the door.

OoOoO

The fact that Angel's younger brother was the only other person who remained unaffected by his bad attitude did not make things any easier on him. The entire ride home he refused to let up. Questions and jokes and assumptions just kept coming. Finally, Jenny had to step in and shut him up.

When they reached the house, Angel hurried in and to his room. Locking in and putting his headphones on as he heard Connor reach outside.

'This will not do,' he thought and let his mind drift over the confusing events of the day. He grabbed out his notebook and stared at the drawing he'd been working on. Again wondering what it was about her...

When Angel dared to take his headphones off again, he sighed in relief when he couldn't hear his brother any longer. He flipped over and grabbed out some of his homework and tired to get the rest of it done. Then, when he finished he came out of his room finally and started to help Jenny with dinner.

But, it wasn't long until, to his dismay, Connor came out as well. Thankfully, the onslaught of questions didn't come and he only helped set the table.

But, when they sat down.. well, that was just a whole new story. "So, do tell me Angel, why haven't you been arrested for attempted murder on the new girl?" Connor asked, with a smirk.

Angel just shrugged, not really having any answer anyhow.

"Do you like her? Is that it?"

Angel glared at him from across the table, then he glared at Jenny as well, finally going back to the food before him.

A few minutes passed before Connor spoke up again. "Well?"

"Connor, leave your brother alone," Jenny stepped in.

Connor snickered, but did as he was told. He and Jenny then discussed their day, while Angel remained silent, thinking again about his own.

When they were through, the three of them all cleaned up. Jenny and Connor went to go catch the news, but he decided on a shower instead.

'Do you like her," Connor's question played in his mind. 'I don't even know her. And, even if I did, what does that even mean?' He sighed and closed his eyes, letting the water spill over him as his continued thoughts did as well. 'This is going to be a very long night," he thought wearily.

OoOoO

Angel woke up the next morning groaning at his alarm clock. After all, it had woken him up from a nice dream. And he realized that it was the first time in years that he had been dreaming. Dreaming, instead of having the same nightmares of what brought he and Connor to live with Jenny.

But he didn't know what to think about the certain person he was dreaming about, or what that meant. But, he just wiped his eyes from sleep and started to get up.

He had plenty of time to dwell on all of that later.

OoOoO

The ride back to school had been a much better one, due to the fact Connor was half asleep the whole way. As usual. He was more thankful for this today than ever before though.

No questions, no answers.

He walked Jenny to her classroom and asked if she needed help with anything. She didn't and so she had shooed him out. He headed to the library, this morning he found Giles already there at his desk, but he walked past him and right up to the stairs. And as the memories of the morning before suddenly hit him, he smiled and went to go put his things down before browsing the old shelves.

Nothing interested happened this morning, and time seemed to be slower than ever before to him.

Finally the bell rang though, and he gathered his things up and went off to class.

OoOoO

The morning hadn't gone any better for Angel though, not any of his morning classes had Buffy in them and he hadn't seen her in the halls at any point. It made him feel foolish looking for her in the first place, but that hadn't stopped him any.

When lunch came, Angel stood at his locker, putting a few of his books away while grabbing a few that he would need for his afternoon classes.

Suddenly, he felt someone's presence near him, their eyes on him. He clenched his jaw, and tried to control his anger. Letting them have the chance to move away since he wasn't in the mood for this. But, when they did not move, he turned towards them, his 'look of death' in place, but once he realized it was Buffy, it quickly faded. And it actually turned into more of a surprised twinkle when he noticed she hadn't even flinched this time.

"You know, one might think you were trying to scare someone away looking at them like that," she said with a smirk.

Angel smiled, "Apparently though, it's not working."

"On me? Please," She waved the thought away. "Good thing, too."

"Oh? And why's that?"

"Well, if you had scared me off then you wouldn't be invited to come eat lunch with me, now would you?"

"This is a bad thing?" He smirked and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yes!" She smacked at him, "Now, hurry up."

Angel grabbed the last book he needed out and slowly closed his locker door, before he heard it shut though, she had grabbed him and started dragging him away. Again, neither of them seeming to notice or care about any of their peers reactions to seeing them together again.

Buffy pulled Angel over to her locker, which he sure didn't mind. Now he knew where it was. It was like getting some sneak peak into her life. She pulled out a small bag, then hurried to grab him and pull on him again. "You have to be nice," she informed him as they walked across the yard.

"Excuse me?"

"Nice. You."

"Nice to who?"

"My friends."

"Oh..." He suddenly thought this wasn't such a good thing after all.

"They're not going to bite you," She said, then stopped to look at him. "At least I don't think they will."

Angel chuckled. "Aren't you more worried about me?"

"Nope," she told him. "See, if you don't play nice then you're not going to be invited again." She smiled and started pulling him on again. "And we both know you wouldn't want that."

"Well! Someone sure thinks highly of themselves."

"Yeah," she rolled her eyes, "says Mister Badass himself."

OoOoO

Willow was laughing at something Xander said, then happened to catch Buffy out of the corner of her eye as she shook her head. She also happened to notice who was with her. Liam Angelus.

Angel watched as Willow choked on her sandwich as they approached the table. Buffy just smiled and said hello's to her friends. He was uncomfortable with the entire situation.

"Well guys, I hope you don't mind, I invited Angel to come join us," She smiled his way, then began to pull on him to get him to sit down with her. "I'm sure you all know who each other are... but I doubt that you've been properly introduced," and so she proceeded to let everyone know who he was.

Angel kept his eyes lowered, but offered them a tight smile.

Very little conversation started, which didn't go by Buffy unoticed. She smiled to herself, 'This is going to be fun.' "Where's your lunch?" she asked Angel, now noticing he hadn't pulled any from his bag.

"Well, I was going to grab something out of the machine, but someone came along and drug me away."

"That is not lunch! Here, eat this," she handed him a sandwich and continued to give him at least half of everything she'd brought.

'What in God's name am I doing?' Angel wondered, while picking off a few grapes that Buffy offered to him. He was half listening to her trying to get her friends to talk about their day so far.

"Hello? Anything interesting go on with you?" Buffy asked, then suddenly he felt himself getting nudge by her. Apparently having been talking to him this time.

"Huh? No."

She rolled her eyes, "You know, you should enjoy this quality time we're having here. You know you're going to miss me during study hall."

"I am?"

"Yep. I have to go have that talk with Mister Flutie... leaving you all alone," she frowned, then laughed.

"Why does he want to talk to you?" Willow asked, making Buffy brighten up some.

"Oh, just about my behavior at my old school," She shrugged, "Probably just wants to make sure I'm done and over with that, that I won't make the same mistakes or whatever."

"What did you do?"

"Oh... you know, this and that. Nothing too bad."

"In your eyes," Angel muttered.

"You hush," she ordered, pointing a finger at him. 

OoOoO

There wasn't as much conversation as their would have been, given if Angel didn't scare the bejesus out of everyone around, excluding Buffy, but with her there was more than there would have been with him around.

When the bell rang, Xander, being the seemingly happiest about this, for once happy to go to class, hurried up and got out of there. The others all had Ms Calender next, so started that way.

Willow snuck a glance over at Angel, something she would have never done before, feeling more amazed by this whole ordeal by the second. And almost went into shock when it seemed as though he felt her eyes on him and he turned towards her. She was sure she was going to have a heart attack, right then, right there, but nothing happened. He didn't even give her 'the look.' He just looked away quickly.

'What in the hell did she do with him?' Willow wondered, looking over at Buffy. It was like she had arrived into bizarro world. Li.--Angel, almost human. And now, here she was, walking next to Buffy and him in the hall, getting all sorts of crazy looks that she was sure Buffy was used to, not that either of them seemed to notice.

OoOoO

Jenny looked up in surprise, seeing Angel... coming into class with her. That Buffy girl. She wasn't going to get used to this any time soon. And by the looks of everyone, she was sure no one was. But, she couldn't help but smile. Feeling overjoyed that this girl had come to their town. "Hello," she greeted them walking in.

"So, anything fun planned for today?" Buffy asked her hopefully.

Jenny laughed, "I hope you see it that way."

"Cool," she smiled and turned to wave at Willow as she went to her seat, then grabbed at Angel once again, "You. Come on."

Angel shrugged at the look Jenny shot him, letting Buffy lead him back to their seats.

OoOoO

Angel snuck a peek back towards Jenny as Buffy pulled him to the back, she looked really happy. "I think my aunt likes you."

"Huh?"

'Oh, right. She probably wouldn't know.' "Um... Jenny... Ms. Calender, she's my aunt. Me and my brother kind of live with her."

"Oh. Oh! Cool. And more cool, I think she's nice. Wait... Brother?" She raised her eyebrows.

He felt a twing of jealousy, something he was pretty sure he'd never felt before in his life. "Yes. His name is Connor... he's younger... and an idiot."

"Anything like you?"

"No."

"Can't be all bad." She chuckled, more so when he glared at her. "So, why do live with Ms. Calender. Where's your parents?"

And at that moment, class started, saving him from having to try and get out of talking about that.

They took notes and listened to Jenny as she gave the lesson, before instructing them about their homework.

Buffy leaned over, getting his attention while Jenny wrote something on the board. "Forgot to say thanks for not being mean to my friends."

Angel just shrugged and glanced to check if Jenny had turned back yet.

"I do appreciated it, I know how hard that must have been for you," she quipped and patted his hand.

"Don't push your luck."

Buffy rolled her eyes and fell back over to her book.

Jenny, once again, only catching the end of their bantering and smiling to herself. Angel's face was turned down to his book, reading the pages he had been instructed to. But... the look on his face was enough to fill her heart.

He looked happy.

OoOoO

"So, why did you move to good ol' Sunnydale?" Angel asked as he walked with Buffy to Mrs. Walsh's class, after having been shooed away by Jenny.

Buffy smiled, she didn't have to start the conversation and she didn't have to drag him with her. "It was the only school close by that would take me... you know, after what all I pulled."

"I can imagine," he said and ducked when she swung an elbow at him. "Why exactly didn't they throw your ass out sooner?" he asked with a hint of a laugh.

"Because... I... I wasn't always like that. God, okay, you know who Cordelia Chase is right?"

Angel nodded, the image of Queen C popping into his mind. Not so much an image he enjoyed to think about either.

"Well, I sort of... kind of... used to be a version of her."

He looked at her in total disbelief. He could see nothing of Cordelia Chase in her.

"I was!" She insisted, "not that it's something I'm exactly proud of, but I was. But... then I changed and stuff."

He knew what that was like. He wasn't always how he was now either. People changed. Hell, they could become a completely different person. He knew he did.

"Have you always lived here?" she asked after a minute of silence. The walk to Walsh's taking longer than it should, but neither of them were in any hurry.

"Um... no. I was born in Ireland actually... I lived there until I was like three. Then we moved to Boston." He told her, now just arriving at their destination. And thankful for that he sure was.

OoOoO

"You're gonna miss me, you know." Buffy called out as she gathered her books after class ended.

"Oh, yeah... that's right. I guess I won't be seeing you, huh?"

"Nope, but you'll be thinking about me," she smiled and winked. "Later Angelus." She laughed and started walking to gym.

Angel shook his head and started going the opposite direction. He had a feeling she was going to be right about that. 

OoOoO

Buffy's meeting with Mister Flutie wasn't anything she hadn't expected, except perhaps the length of it. He asked about her life, how she was liking the school so far... even if it was only her second day, like she had so much to go on, about what all happened at her old school, her home life, which she darted around as much as possible, her hopes and plans, and, of course, Angel.

He never directly said anything about him, but it wouldn't take a genius to know who he was talking about. She just rolled her eyes at it all though, mentally, not wanting to get into trouble already. But she let him talk and tried to do the best she could to answer his questions.

She heard the last bell ring, but he'd kept her in there with him longer. It made it seem more exhausting somehow, so she was more than thrilled when he let her go.

She thanked him for his time, he said if she ever needed anything... blah blah blah... and she went to go get her things and go home. She wasn't exactly in any hurry to go there though, unsure of what might be waiting, but she knew she had to walk and it was a lot closer than her mom's new business.

She sighed and figured she just deal with whatever came. Buffy grabbed what she needed from her locker and headed for the doors.

What she found outside of them shocked her. Angel. The back of him anyway. He was leaning against a car in the parking lot, his back to her. Buffy smirked and silently walked over to him. "Well, gosh Angel, I knew you'd miss me and all but this..." She smiled and waved at him and the car, while he stood there looking kind of shocked, kind of amused, "is too much. Really. I mean, tomorrow is only Wednesday and I will be back here then."

Angel couldn't help but laugh, the tone in her voice, along with that expression... He really couldn't. "What can I say?" He smiled and shrugged. "You need a ride? Connor and Jenny will be out in a minute..."

"Thanks," she smiled, "but I really don't want to inconvience you any."

"You wouldn't be, trust me. Now the other two on the other hand..."

"I wouldn't finish that sentence." Connor warned, revealing him and Jenny as having arrived. "You must be Buffy, huh?"

"Yep, that would be me. Connor?"

"Yes ma'am." He replied, a devilish twinkle in his eye. Angel noticed it and tried to glare it away. Of course it didn't work. Not on him.

"Hi again Ms. Calender."

"Hello Buffy." She smiled, happy about her and Angel even more so, but felt a tiny bit of dread at whatever might be going through Connor's mind. "What are you still doing here?"

"Oh, well... I had to see Mister Flutie, and well, that went a little long and..."

"Angel's offering her a ride home, but she's reluctant to accept," Connor butted in.

"I don't want to be any trouble, thank you very much," she smirked the younger brother's way.

Connor liked her. He could tell that right off the bat.

"It's really no trouble, Buffy."

Buffy bit her lip, thinking. Finally she gave in. "If it's no trouble then..."

"It's not," Angel rushed to assure her.

"Yeah, so hop on in!" Connor followed, "You can sit up front. Where we headed?"

"Um... thanks... um.. well... I live over on Revello Drive but if Crawford Street is closer I wouldn't mind going to my mom's work," She told them as she walked over to the other side of the car where Connor stood, holding the door for Jenny who got in then he followed. A big grin on his face.

"Well, we live on Crawford Street, so how about Angel drives us all there, huh?"

Buffy laughed, "Okay, well she bought the little coffee shop called The Espresso Pump..."

"And bought the empty space beside it, where she plans to put in a small art gallery," Angel finished.

Buffy stared at him. "How did you know?"

"I didn't know it was your mom who bought it, but there was a small article about the new ownership in the newspaper..." He told her as he started the car and headed off. 

"Oh. She bought it before we actually moved here... but still... word gets around huh?"

Connor snickered, earning a glare from both Jenny and Angel.

"Small town," Angel offered, feeling uneasy about everything now. Too small of a space. Jenny. Connor. His general uneasiness with people. Plus his whole unsure mess that had to do with her.

A few minutes of silence passed, Jenny decided it was time to break it. "So Buffy, do you have any siblings?"

"Yeah, I have a younger sister, Dawn. She'll be starting high school next year. And she is quite the pain."

"Hey, I have him as a brother," Connor chipped in.

Buffy laughed, "That's true. And what is that like exactly?"

"Oh, my, The stories I could tell you!" Connor could almost feel Angel's thoughts of strangling him.

"I bet!" Buffy laughed.

"I bet he won't," Angel growled out.

And for the rest of the way Connor continued to flirt with the idea of doing something to embarrass his brother, find out this and that about this Buffy girl, and what the hell was going on between them. And when he got it out of her to tell how they met, only the day before he had to remind himself, he had no doubt in his mind why Angel was different with her. Whether he knew it or not, Connor was going to make sure he did something about it.

OoOoO

After Buffy had thanked Angel for the ride, promised to bug him tomorrow, and to see Jenny, then told him how nice it was to have met him, Connor made a point in telling her which house was theirs. And he all but made her promise to come over sometime before she got out.

Having Angel and her together in the car had been sort of surreal. Connor couldn't believe it, still. It was quite an experience. Angel talked with her, had actual conversations with her. He joked with her, argued with her. Angel smiled with her!

There was always a new rumor about Angel, and Connor heard them all. Over the years he'd gotten used to them, but he really hadn't been expecting the ones he heard yesterday. There was no way in hell he was going to believe it, and he didn't, not until he saw it for himself. But, before then, it was just so.. laughable! Angel wasn't exactly the welcoming committee. Angel knew he never spoke with anyone, never acknowleged anyone. He knew all about 'the look.' He knew people were afraid of him, never speaking to him. He knew it all, so this was just unbelievable.

Angel shut down years ago. Connor knew why, Angel knew that he knew, but they never talked about it. Not once. And Angel just turned into what he was, just like that, and that's how it remained.

He hardly even had any relationship with Jenny, but what they did have didn't even start until over a year after he'd lived there. That was the extent of him ever branching out.

Until now apparently.

Connor had stood in shock yesterday after seeing them together for the first time. It was like the world had just spun out of control. He had been running to get something out of his locker that he'd forgotten when he heard Angel laughing. Loudly. Angel. Laughing. In he library. In the school. In public. Connor snuck over and peeked inside of of the windows, his eyes going wide in surprise. Angel wasn't in his usual hidden place, he was center stage almost. And, he was sitting by the girl he had no doubt was this Buffy chick. And she was making him laugh! He just knew it was her by the look on both of their faces, and everyone else's. It was insane.

He completely forgot about what he was doing, headed to Jenny's class and pulled her out asking what the hell was going on.

OoOoO

Angel headed into his room, preparing to get his homework done. Before Buffy he wouldn't have had any. Since she wasn't in Study Hall today, he knew he shouldn't have any, anyhow. Yet, he did. Instead of concentrating on the work before him, he was thinking about her. Questioning himself and his actions over the past two days. 'What in the hell is so different about her?'

He still didn't have an answer. His draw to her was something he couldn't explain.

Angel shook his head, shaking the thoughts away the best he could, and tried to get his homework finished. He could think about this Buffy situation later, and knew, without a doubt, that he would.

OoOoO

Buffy sat at the counter alongside Dawn, asking about how her day went and talking to her mom as she would passed by to do this and that.

She had survived her second day at Sunnydale High. She had made some really great potential friends. Willow, Xander and Jesse were all fantastic, open and warm. Even if she'd only known them less than forty-eight hours, there was something special there.

Then, there was the topic of Angel, which just threw her so far off. 

She heard so many warnings about him the past few days, she was thinking they should make a label for him to wear. Of course then she knew she'd be the one to make him wear it, which made her chuckle at the thought. People were acting so weirded out.

She did really wonder what was up though. He was nothing like they painted him to be. She'd only seen a few flashes of this 'monster' but it still didn't explain much.

Dawn was enjoying school as well, her mother loved her business. The coffee shop was to be more like a small diner of sorts, and the gallery was her brainchild. It was far from being done, she'd been over there, she'd seen... but her mother had such high hopes for it. She took her over there and painted it in her mind so well, Buffy could see it already.

She was happy, truly happy.

And that scared her.

The other shoe had to drop sometime. It always did.


	3. Chapter Three

Wednesday morning seemed to be going pretty well, even Jenny had received a phone call during their breakfast saying she could come get her car next week. But, when the arrived at the school, things took a bit of a turn. 

At first, everything was normal and she said she really hadn't needed any help that morning, but as he turned to leave and let her start setting up Mister Flutie was at the door. Jenny waved him in and he stuck his head inside, carefully dodging the elder Angelus boy yet again as much as he could as he asked if he could speak with her.

Angel bore his eyes into Flutie, who he knew was trying to do anything but look his way. He had a feeling that he knew what he wanted to discuss with his aunt.

Jenny did as well, but smiled and politely asked Angel if he could finish getting a few things out of her back and start her computers up. She saw him nod, not taking his eyes off of the councilor, then hurried to thank him and see what all Mister Flutie had to say.

"Well, well," Connor sleepily said a few seconds after she left, his head laying down on his arms that were folded on top of his bookback as he used it for his pillow, letting him get back to sleep, "I wonder what in the world he would have to discuss with her."

Angel just growled and started setting up Jenny's stuff. This wasn't the first time he'd had to, and honestly he never minded helping her out with anything. She deserved it and a lot more for all she'd done for the two of them, all she put up with from him in particular, so his annoyance had nothing to do with it. Though, Connor was starting to as he continued talking.

OoOoO

Bob Flutie was really a nice guy, a great councilor to boot, but right now he was getting under her skin. And she steamed all the way back to her classroom.

She'd had to discuss and defend Angel so many times now, to Flutie, to Snyder, to every teacher and students and others who dared asked her or said anything about her nephew.

They had a right to be concerned about him, especially in the beginning, it truly was terrifying and she knew he should be, but she had hope in him. He wasn't a bad kid, he just... had a lot of issues. Not that it was a problem, everyone had some, his were just a little more... intense. But right now, what Flutie had brought up, was just so far off the deep end. And she was furious.

'He's a danger!'

She'd heard this so many times, it would be pointless to even attempt to count. That had been the point in so many discussions so many meetings and arguments... they'd tried to get him kicked out of school, out of the town even, so many times. But she always defended him. Angel never once went out of his way to hurt anybody. He would scare them off, but that hardly ever came from violent acts. They didn't need to. He had a pure look of death, everyone knew about it.

Yes, he had a severe history of violence, though not many knew the details to it, no one outside of their family that did in Sunnydale... though there were rumors, but he'd never done anything here.

Okay, maybe he'd gotten into two fights before, but that was when he first got here, a very long time ago. No one even dared messing with him since. Those who had back then, they hadn't known who he was. Wrong time, wrong place. And with the story behind the fight, she thought he was actually rather noble about it, though maybe he did go a bit too far, but still.

But this, this was just... Angel had changed the past two days, that was very obvious. He was acting 'normal.' And she would have thought that others would view this as a positive thing.

Apparently, she was wrong. 

Apparently, now he was even more of a danger, a major threat even. And to Buffy!

That stupid little worm had the nerve to view Angel's actions as some master plan or something to hurt her or who knows what. She just couldn't believe this man! He had the gall to even suggest that she 'please, keep him away from certain students' and more clearly implying Buffy as he continued.

Unnerving.

'He's a danger.' 'They're causing a distraction.' 'Don't you think she's in great danger?' And so on.. it was unbelievable.

As she realized how close she was to returning, she slowed down and took a few deep breaths. Upsetting Angel wasn't exactly something she wanted to do.

Angel never wanted to be around anybody. And she had no intention of keeping the first person to change that away. And she'd be damned if she let anyone else either.

OoOoO

When Jenny came back, both Angel and Connor looked at her, eyebrows raised, but she said nothing except a thank you for getting things set up. Angel started to debate whether or not to ask her about it, but, the first bell rang before anyone knew what was going on, so he had to let it slide. For now, at least.

He hurried to grab up his things and headed for his first class. Behind him, Connor continued to try and wake up.

OoOoO

Angel was not in a good mood, not even on a good day, but today he was obviously worse. And because of that, today, the fact that he had no morning classes with a certain blonde bugged him more than it had earlier this week. Then, the fact that it bugged him bothered him even more.

His first class came and went. He sighed and gathered up his things, mentally preparing himself for his next one, when suddenly, as he took his first steps through the hall, someone was pushed directly into him.

'This is not the day for this,' his mind growled as his angry eyes landed on the intruder. 'Tucker Wells' his mind registered.

Tucker, having missed his brothers wide eyes and frozen in place expression as he realized what was going on, as well as everyone else who'd seen and had now stopped, holding their breaths, got himself up and turned around, ready to apologize.

Had Tucker known, he would have gotten up much faster and would have ran for his life. But, unfortunately, he didn't. "Sor--" he cut off as soon as he saw who he'd bumped into. Liam Angelus. 'Holy Shit!' Liam Angelus who was staring him down, screaming murder from his every pore.

Tucker was frozen in fear, but finally that fear decided he wanted to keep his life, and without warning, he took off, running like a madman down the hall and away from Angel.

"Seriously, you need better people skills," he suddenly heard Buffy's voice and he whipped around to see her approaching him. She came around to stand in front of him, smiling brightly. "Here," she held out half of a Snickers bar to him, "You want the rest of this?"

Angel chuckled despite himself, this girl sure was something else. She could take any situation or any of his moods and turn it around, just like that. Her little gesture, whether she realized it or not, meant a lot more than just offering him the rest of her candy bar.

He took the chocolate from her and smiled, "Uh, thanks?"

"You're welcome," she said pointedly, just as the bell went off. "Have fun," she turned to leave for her next class.

Angel chuckled as he bit into the snack, heading to his own class as well, in a much better mood now.

OoOoO

"Didn't you hear? Angelus just rammed into Tucker and started beating him up, she," the whispering student nodded towards the passing Buffy, who was on her way to her seat, "had to pull him off."

'What's their deal?" The counterpart in the conversation asked, but Buffy didn't hear the answer, nor did she care.

'This town sure does have quite an imagination, a very fast spreading one too.' She just shook her head and mentally laughed those staring at her away.

OoOoO

"Hey, where's mine?" Connor asked his brother as he exited the class where Angel was coming too.

Angel smiled, "I don't know, go ask Buffy."

"She gave it to you huh?" Connor smirked and his brother nodded. "And was this before or after you picked her up, swung her around like a bat, and knocked Tucker Wells over the head?"

He just laughed at the expression Angel made at that and let him get into class. 'Gotta love Sunnydale.'

OoOoO

During that class, out of nowhere rain started and by lunch, it still hadn't let up. Buffy hurried over to Angel's locker, where, as usual it seemed, he stood, placing this and that in and out of his locker. She snuck up behind him, peering in to see him dueling out his different books. "So, Angel, do tell me, if I didn't come over here, fetching you away, would you come find me at lunch?"

Angel shrugged.

"Figures," she mock huffed and waited for him to get done, which wasn't even half a minute later.

"Would you want me to?" he asked as he shut his locker and turned her way, slinging his bag back to his shoulder.

"Well I don't come all of this way for nothing you know," she smiled and started walking back to her own locker, Angel beside her. "Jesse's not here today, but Xander and Willow are in the library since it's raining outside," she said once they reached her locker, where she started digging around, "Will you be joining us?"

"Hey Buff, Angel," they suddenly heard Connor call out.

"Hey Connor, how's it going?"

"Fine, though I'm starving!" He held up his lunch bag, looking at it, starvation shown clearly in his eyes.

Buffy laughed at him, "We're headed to the library, want to join?"

"Sure," he happily agreed and walked with the two of them back down the halls.

OoOoO

"Jeeves!" Buffy excitingly said, startling the librarian. "I missed you yesterday! Hope you don't mind us coming in here..."

"Miss Summers," he greeted after taking a calming breath, "it's perfectly fine, just please keep it down some and clean up any mess that is made is all I ask."

"No problem, come on."

"Jeeves?" Connor whispered.

"Don't ask," Angel rolled his eyes as he followed Buffy over to her friends.

"Hey guys, you remember Angel, and today we have another new guest. Connor, this is Willow and Xander, in case you didn't know, and well, this is Angel's brother Connor." She introduced everyone as they sat down. "So, what happened to Jesse?" Buffy jumped into conversation and her food.

"I'm not sure," Willow answered, trying to calm her still nervous nerves about Angel and now the two of the Angelus boys being here, "I tried calling again before coming in here, but there was no answer."

"I'll bet it had to do with that science quiz," Xander stated, wishing that's what he'd done.

"I don't think I have even one class with you Connor."

He thought for a second, "Yeah, I can't remembering seeing you in any, too bad."

"Really! I could hear about all of those stories about him during them instead," she nodded towards Angel who in return glared at her. "Which would also bring me to thanking you again for yesterday."

"It's really not a big deal, anytime you need a ride just ask."

"Yeah, yeah."

And the lunch grew to be a lot more talkative then the one the day before, though interaction between Angel and anyone but her and his brother seemed rather nonexistent. But she was going to make him work on that.

OoOoO

Jenny came into the library, needing to ask Rupert if he had a certain book, but she forgot what it was the minute she noticed what was going on inside. He was even having lunch with her. Connor, too. And other classmates.

She noticed Giles eating his lunch in the small office behind the main desk, but he had his chair scooted almost completely out of the doorway as he looked towards the group. "Interesting, isn't it?" she whispered, leaving the librarian startled yet again. "Sorry."

"That's quite alright," he whispered back. "Did they already know each other?" Jenny shook her head. "Astonishing."

"It really is."

"Oh, sorry, do excuse me, did you need something?"

"Oh, right, a book... though I suddenly have no recollection of which one," she laughed. "I can come back later when and if I remember" And she gave one last look back at them, smiling to herself. 'Yeah Flutie, you really know what you're talking about.'

OoOoO

"So Buffy, you doing anything interesting this weekend?" Connor asked.

"Not that I know of," she shrugged.

"You should come to the Bronze!" Xander said, clearly excited.

Buffy looked at him, "What's a 'Bronze' and why would I go to one or it... or whatever?"

"It's a club, it's really cool," Willow said. "They have bands there a lot and everyone goes. It's sort of 'the scene' here, but it's still is a pretty good time. You should come. We'll be there!"

"What about you?" She nudged Angel's arm.

Connor could have laughed, "Angel doesn't go to the Bronze, or any club, or... hardly anywhere." But, he had no doubt in his mind, that if Buffy asked him, he'd go.

"I'll see what my parents say."

OoOoO

As lunch ended, they all cleaned up and parted ways, all but Willow, Buffy and Angel, who together walked to Jenny's class after a few minutes of bothering Giles.

"So, what is it that you do do for fun?" Buffy asked him.

He shrugged, "Not much, really. I read, watch movies and hang out around the house, I guess."

"Well, maybe if I can get my parents to agree to let me go, I'll somehow convince you to join me," she smiled as if she were thinking of her plan right now. "I'm sure Jenny wouldn't mind." She said loud enough for the teacher to hear as they stepped into the door way.

"I wouldn't mind what?" She asked, not missing the devilish look Buffy had on her face.

"If Angel came with me and some friends to this Bronze place this weekend."

"Of course not Might be good for him even.."

"See," she said smiling, nodding her head toward the teacher.

Angel mumbled something and headed for his seat, Buffy, laughing, followed after whispering something to Willow.

'I wouldn't mind at all,' Jenny thought, watching with the rest of the class as the two continued their play back in their seats.

Today was an internet 'free' day for this particular class. They had a simple assignment of looking up news articles and writing short descriptions of them, then they could use the rest of the hour, which was always most of it because the work never work even twenty minutes usually, to do as they wanted. They could look up almost anything they wanted, the obvious excluded and were free to change seats and talk and everything just as long as they didn't get out of hand.

Buffy liked this idea.

Buffy had gotten up and went to fetch Willow, bringing her back to sit beside her so she can talk with her and Angel, often leaning over to ask him the most random questions she could think of just to get him to laugh. It was like a tiny accomplishment every time.

OoOoO

Angel had long finished his assignment and was enjoying Buffy's harassment of him as well as eavesdropping on anything she would say to Willow. And while the two discussed a time to get together to help Buffy get caught up with some of the work, he tried to distract himself with the 'work.' The part of searching aimlessly.

Angel did this enough at home, when all else failed, there was always the internet and he didn't really have anything he wanted to read. The news he'd already scanned past so his mind drifted.. until he thought of something.

He searched for the site he needed, then found it and searched for the information. He found it easily enough, and his eyes searched the words of the page. "Wow, you even got the front page."

"What are you mumbling over there?"

"Oh, nothing," he smiled and shrugged.

Buffy narrowed her eyes, "Liar." Then she scooted over some and then leaned until she was almost horizontal in the aisle, using her hands on his table to support her as she read what he was looking at. It was the article about her High School arson disaster. "You don't need to be reading that," she told him before falling back over to her own side once again.

"Oh, I think I do. It seems you left out some details in your short description of the incident."

Buffy just smiled.

She smiled a lot, always a bright, cheerful smile. One that made her eyes twinkle and lit up a room. One that went straight to Angel's heart. Piercing him with her happiness.

Angel finished reading the story about the high school fire, shaking his head at it. And Buffy was just glad he didn't dig up any more stories about her.

OoOoO

History class with Mrs. Walsh was a horror after the fun filled hour before, they ended up having to take a pop quiz, which Buffy hadn't been able to get out of. Apparently Walsh seemed to think two days were plenty of time to know what they'd been studying for almost a month before.

History wasn't her best subject, it never had been. Buffy liked to live in the present. Of course, her present turned out to be gym and since it was raining, the coach decided Dodgeball would be the game of the day.

The future was looking even better.

OoOoO

Angel was almost late getting to the library for his last hour. His art teacher had kept the whole class late, telling them about some contest. 

He had a feeling that the teacher was trying to urge him into it, but like all others, too afraid to talk to him so tried it that way. When he'd first got there there was a flyer on his chair. No one else had any and it wasn't mentioned until the very end. He gave it two seconds then forgot about it, heading into the library.

The sight he walked into had him laughing immediately. Buffy was almost completely leaning over the checkout desk, complaining at Giles, explaining how awful gym had been. She picked up her water bottle, after having fumbling around forever to find it, then threw it at him, missing completely. "Keep laughing," she warned.

Angel shook his head at her and walked over to the table they'd sat at Monday and laid his stuff down.

A very tired Buffy soon followed, dragging her feet and plopping down. "Like I'm not abused enough," she mumbled, catching Angel's attention. He stared at her but she said nothing else about it. "Was your class any worse than mine?"

"No, sorry."

"What'd you have?"

"Art."

"Oh," she said then thought for a moment, a grin spreading her face. "Well you know, you ever need a nude model or anything..."

Angel, having just taken a sip from his soda, began immediately coughing and choking.

He had to spend the rest of the hour trying to get that image out of his mind.

OoOoO

Snyder peered out, watching as Buffy Summers snuck up to that dreadful Liam Angelus boy and started pulling him away, no doubt for lunch, which he'd been hearing about all week.

Angelus and Summers. He didn't like it.

Those two troubled kids together, it all spelled something bad.

When they were out of his sight, he huffed and hurried to Flutie's office. Something had to be done.

OoOoO

Buffy's fingers were linked with his. She didn't seem to mind or notice, but Angel sure did. In fact, he couldn't make out anything else.

They hardly touched. They would walk by each other. She'd pull on his shirt to get him to move. She would playfully smack his arm sometimes. But that was about the extent of it. And even then, it sent shock waves through him.

And this... this was almost too much for him right now.

Angel couldn't even remember the last time someone held his hand... at first. But when that kind of thinking started going into motion, memories came back and suddenly he tugged his arm free and tried to shut them all out.

Buffy looked back at him and then realized what had happened. She really hadn't noticed she'd just grabbed his hand. And now she felt really embarrassed about it. She blushed then turned her head away. "Come on," she called back to him and started walking towards the library doors, seeing as it was still raining off and on again today.

Angel instantly felt bad the second he saw her blush, knowing he'd just given the wrong impression, but he said nothing. He just followed behind her.

OoOoO

"So, Buff! What'd your parents say?" Xander asked about midway through lunch.

"Huh? Oh, right, my mom actually said it was okay," she answered happily, though she didn't really know how she felt about it. Surprised, glad, sure, but also she felt like her mother had the same feeling as her and that's why she agreed to let her go, as if to say enjoy it all while it lasts.

The calm before the storm.

That's all it was. But no matter, Buffy planned to enjoy the little peace anyhow. She'd forgotten what it was like.

"Great," Willow smiled happily. "I heard the Dingoes are playing too, so maybe I can point Oz out to you," Willow continued, her voice a tad lower and with a huge blush as she mentioned the guy she had a crush on. She turned even redder when she noticed Angel looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

Angel knew who Oz was, Daniel "Oz" Osbourne. He just really didn't picture him as the kind of guy Willow would go for, but then again, he didn't exactly know her so... Then he looked at Buffy and began wondering about her taste in guys, which he wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

"What about you stranger?" Buffy nudge at him. "You gonna join us?"

"No," he simply said and looked away.

"Hmph, fine then," Buffy said and waved him away laughing. She wasn't anywhere near to letting him off the hook that easily though. No way.

She'd even expected it. Angel and clubbing... they didn't exactly mix. All those people, the social situation... the whole ordeal just didn't seem like his type of a good time. Yet.

Angel knew she wasn't going to just give in like that either, but he wasn't going to go. He was even more dead set on since he actually almost wanted to. Just because she asked. Just because she'd be there. He really didn't like where any of this was heading.

OoOoO

"Angel?"

"Yes?"

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"

Angel glared at her then walked into Jenny's classroom, hearing her laughter softly following him.

"Guess that's a no?"

"Yes, that is a no. I don't go to the Bronze, I never have, and I don't plan to."

"Could be fun..."

He glared at her again.

"I'm just sayin'!"

Thankfully the bell rang again and Jenny started the class.

OoOoO

"Angel?"

He grumbled and stole a glance at her.

"Please?"

"No," he harshly whispered back to her.

"They'll be lots of pretty girls there..." She tried coaxing him in but failed miserably. The look on his face had her covering her mouth to keep in the laugh bubbling inside. She had more to that sentence, but couldn't have gotten it out for the life of her.

OoOoO

"Angel?"

"No."

"But..."

"No."

"Fine!" she huffed then waited for Jenny's eyes to go back down to her desk. "Angel?" she said again sweetly.

"I swear to God woman!" Angel said and then did his best to ignore her the rest of the class. Then all the way through History when she kept turning around in her chair, the question, along with amusement, in her eyes.

She was this close to driving him insane.

OoOoO

"Hiya, Jeeves!" Buffy greeted the librarian as she walked in.

"Miss Summers," he replied with a nod. He didn't even bother correcting her anymore it seemed.

Buffy looked around, not seeing a certain broody man around. "Where's Angel?"

Giles pointed up the stairs and Buffy's mouth fell open.

"That is so wrong," she complained and shook her head. Giles shrugged and held back his own laughter, then she headed over to take a seat. Debating whether or not to march up there or not.

She didn't have any homework, nothing besides just general getting caught up, which was the point of her heading over to Willow's later so now she was just bored with nothing to do. She looked over towards the stairs again, then quickly away. She hopped up and headed over to Giles.

She could always find someone else to bug.

OoOoO

"Miss Summers, do you not have any homework to do?" Giles said, half irritated, half severely amused. He really couldn't decide which one to feel at the moment.

"Nope," Buffy happily replied, a huge grin on her face.

Giles had no doubt this was going to be a long last hour. Buffy wanted to get all the 'juicy' details about him and seemed she wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

OoOoO

Not once did Buffy head up the stairs, and Angel never came down until the bell rang.

She popped her head his way when she saw him coming down and smiled. "Oh, hey," she greeted, "there you are. I was beginning to think you left or something." She smiled and Giles who'd raised an eyebrow at her, then shook his head and went into his office.

"Uh huh."

Buffy was about to say something snarky about how he must have missed her, or well, whatever that might have popped out, but she bit her lip and stayed silent. She just told him she'd see him tomorrow and went to go find Willow.

There was always tomorrow.

OoOoO

"What's the matter with you?" Connor asked when Angel came in and sat down.

He didn't answer. He didn't have an answer. At least not one that would make any kind of sense at all. Buffy's not driving him insane was, well, driving him insane.

More even.

She was getting to him far more than he knew what to do with.

OoOoO

Buffy followed Willow out to her car and the two started in.

They'd never really had that much of a chance to talk and it was already long overdue. They talked at school sure and once over the phone, but today was needed.

They both knew that there would be a lot more discussing Angel than another subject.

Willow was curious about the two of them and Buffy was just curious about him and she did also want to get to know Willow better in the process, too. But even then, Willow didn't really know that much about Angel. No one did. That was just another part of his whole 'thing'

She answered what she could, described him through the few years he'd been around, his attitude, trouble he'd caused and anything else she could think of. Which honestly, wasn't much. Buffy didn't really know what to say either. What was going on between her and Angel? She really didn't know. She didn't expect this whole big thing to come from talking to him that first morning in the library, but it was, and she didn't mind really. She just didn't understand.

Buffy was just as much in the dark as to 'why her' as anybody.

The two joked and talked for most of the night and even gave Buffy some ideas about tomorrow.


	4. Chapter Four

Friday had arrived and it was looking all kinds of bright and sunny. Darkness continued to loom, in more ways then one, but Buffy left that be for now. Today was the end of her first week at Sunnydale High. Tonight she was going to a club with her friends. And then the weekend, her first since moving here, awaited.

No, today, one way or another, was going to be a good day. She was bound to make sure of it.

OoOoO

All of her morning classes seemed to drag on, but Buffy happily took them in stride and when lunch came she'd even forgotten about it. She happily hopped over to Angel's locker, watching him as he did his usual lunchtime switch and just drunk the image of him in. She knew he wasn't going to agree to come with them tonight, but that didn't mean she wouldn't give up trying. Even if just to annoy the living Hell out of him. Give him something to miss over the weekend.

She smiled and walked over to lean against one of the lockers surrounding his. "Happy Friday!" she greeted.

Angel mumbled something she couldn't hear then zipped his bag and closed his locker. "I'm not going."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "So you keep telling me," she teased.

"I'm not going," Angel repeated.

She sighed and threw her hands up in the air, "Will you come outside for lunch already?" she asked and started walking.

Angel narrowed his eyes at her back then followed. A long afternoon was coming his way. He could feel it.

OoOoO

"Buffy? Are you still coming over again tonight?"

"Absolutely! Tonight you're becoming one hot little vixen," Buffy said and Willow blushed.

"Willow! I never knew you had it in you, Buffy maybe..." He joked and Buffy stuck her tongue out at him. He was loosening up, every one could see that little by little in the small group.

"Willow's going to knock them dead tonight."

The redhead blushed even harder.

"And what about you, Miss Summers?"

"Oh, I'm going to let my hair down, wear something tight, small and revealing, have some fun and just see what happens," she smiled brightly and even more so when she heard Angel's not so subtle gulp. "Still not coming?" she asked with a smirk when she turned back his way.

"No," Angel replied as steadily as he could.

Buffy leaned over and laid her head lightly on his shoulder, her head tilted so she could meet his eyes and so he could see the tiny pout she put on. Angel could smell her hair and feel it lightly whipping against him. He could feel the warmth of her as she touched him. He could feel it spread through his entire being. He could see the pure amusement in her eyes and feel lust wanting to cloud his own. And that damn pouting look she was giving him was the worst of it all...

"You're no fun," she told him the suddenly pulled away and sat back up, going back to the conversation at hand.

Angel mentally groaned. This girl was going to be the death of him. 

OoOoO

"Jenny, you really need to work on him."

The teacher raised her head, seeing Buffy rolling her eyes toward Angel and felt their amusement pass through her at the moment as well.

"He needs a life," the blonde continued.

"I have a life," Angel grumbled and walked past them and started towards his seat.

"No, he doesn't and you need to work on him since he won't listen to me."

Jenny laughed. "I guess he still won't come with you tonight?"

"No! But, maybe you can do something with him, like beat him over the head or something," she mumbled then when more of the class piled in she smiled and went to her own seat.

OoOoO

"Angel?" Buffy could swear she heard him growl. "What are you doing this weekend?"

"I'm. Not. Going."

"Well, we've covered that! What are you going to instead?"

"Nothing."

"Well," she said sarcastically, "I guess that sounds so much better than hanging out with me and mine."

"You are making it pretty easy."

"Uh!"

He smirked.

OoOoO

Jenny's class was almost over when Angel heard Buffy whispering at him again. "If you even..." he started but Buffy held a hand up.

"Give me your notebook."

"What?"

"Give," she said but didn't wait. She reached over and just yanked it from in front of him where it was sitting on the keyboard at the moment.

Angel felt panicked. There were now numerous drawings and doodles and other little things of her in there. He really didn't want her finding one. But he watched her flip to a page, a empty one thankfully, and began writing something down before handing it back.

"I figured you might get bored or miss me," she smirked, "over the weekend so... there's my phone number and e-mail address."

Angel narrowed his eyes at her then looked over at what she had written, the bell ringing just as he got to the last letter.

"And well, we don't really get to talk in History and all then well we only have Study Hall together... which I won't be in today so..."

His head snapped up. "What? Why not?" He really did not like the sound of that.

She shrugged, "Flutie wanted to see me... again. You know, lucky me. I may get to class, I really don't know, but I thought... just in case." She smiled and waited for him to gather his things.

Angel took longer than he normally would. He didn't like this news one damn bit. Suddenly the fact of the weekend loomed over him.

Two days seemed awfully long. And much longer now... This wasn't good. Not at all.

OoOoO

Buffy had a plan, a damn good plan, too, but Flutie came into play and it was even better. And, it worked like a charm judging by Angel's pretty little face. She smiled and told him to hurry up, they were running a bit late now.

Angel really didn't want to hurry. He wanted anything but. He stood up and started dragging his feet.

"Bye you guys," Jenny called.

Buffy smiled back but Angel just looked at his aunt for a moment before returning back to Buffy. He sighed and started walking.

"Would you come on already? I swear I'm going to leave you behind," Buffy said when the warning bell started to ring.

He was about to reply when she rushed behind him before he could even open his mouth and started pushing on him. "What are you..." He laughed.

"Move along," she continued pushing him through the hall.

And together they made it. Barely.

The whole class watched as Buffy pushed him through the door. Their gazes frozen. The two of them just laughed and then went about their business, though every once in awhile she'd look back his way and the two would almost start bursting into laughter.

OoOoO

"Angel..." Buffy said as he reached her in the aisle after the bell rang, "why must you hurt me so?"

"I'm not going," he repeated for the countless time. 

"Why not?" she pouted.

"Because."

"That is so not a reason. You have nothing better to do..."

"It's not happening."

"Fine, well I just guess I can't convince you huh?" Angel shook his head and she sighed. "You're gonna regret this, you know."

Angel raised his eyebrows at her, "Is that so?"

"Yes, it is. Just you watch. You'll be kicking yourself later. Don't say I didn't warn ya."

"Uh huh."

"Yep, well guess I better get going. Gym awaits..." she groaned. "Have fun." She waved and he watched her leave, not realizing he was standing there, unmoving, until she was out of sight.

OoOoO

Buffy ran through the hallway and ducked her head into the library. "Jeeves? Jeeves?"

Giles looked up, "Wh... yes?"

"Angel here yet?"

"Um, no, he hasn't arrived just yet."

"Damn. Okay well you know I have to go talk with Flutie right?" Giles nodded. "I'm not sure how long I'll be in there..." she trailed off and looked around, not seeing Angel outside in the hall either. "Damn," she hissed out. "Don't suppose I can ask you to give him a message?" The poor librarian looked as though he might faint at the thought of speaking to the boy. "What I thought, don't worry about it. See ya," she said and then headed off.

OoOoO

Angel finally walked into the library, noticing Mister Flutie, who Buffy was waiting in his office for, in there talking to Giles, though they both stopped talking when he walked in.

Angel shot him a murderous glare, making the man's eyes go wide and his breathing to stop as he walked past and up the old stairs. And even then, he had to brace himself and close his eyes, taking deep breaths for a moment, then he finished what he came here for and left.

Angel plopped down in the upstairs corner desk and ran a hand over his face. He took his own calming breath and gathered some homework from his bag and pretended to be doing it for the hour.

Buffy never came in and when the bell rang, letting the day and week out. He took his time gathering back his things and then heading out the door, feeling annoyed with the people making their way out. He walked into Jenny's class and started shutting the computers down, cleaning up some and locking things up with her.

He happened to look out the window in the door, seeing Willow. He stopped what he was doing and watched her standing there, waiting, looking down the hall at something. Not long after, he saw Buffy approach her and the two started talking.

Connor noticed to and hopped up. "I'll be right back," he said, then went out the door.

Buffy waved and smiled at him before grabbing Willow and dragging her forward, out of his sight.

OoOoO

Connor came back in and smiled at him too, "You know, she really wants you to join her tonight."

Angel glared at him, "I hear about it all day, thank you."

Connor laughed and sat down. 'This is gonna be fun," Connor thought, knowing the end of this hadn't arrived just yet.

OoOoO

It was later that evening and Angel and Connor were helping Jenny out when the phone rang. Connor smiled and went over to it and answered. "Hello?" His smile grew as he listened on the other end. "Hey Buffy," he said and Angel's eyes shot straight up to him, "what's up?" He listened, completely ignoring his brother's questioning eyes. "Perfectly fine, Jenny said she had no problem with it," Angel's eyes darted over to Jenny who's back was turned but was smiling as she felt his eyes on her, then when they left back to Connor. "No, that's cool." Another pause came. "Sure, one second," and he moved his mouth away from the phone slightly and turned to Angel, "Buffy wants to know if you've changed your mind."

"No," he glared.

He shrugged, "He said no," Connor laughed, "Don't I know it!" And he continued talking with her for a few more minutes before promising to see her later and hanging up.

Angel's eyes were still deadset on him, watching his every movement as he returned, acting like nothing had happened.

And through the whole meal, it continued.

"You're going to The Bronze?" Angel finally asked.

"Yep, Buffy invited me," he added proudly. "And, would you look at the time? I better get ready, you two can clean up with out me right?" Connor didn't wait for an answer and just headed to his room.

"You can go too if you want," Jenny gently said after a few minutes passed.

"I'm not going!" He said, exhasperated.

Jenny couldn't help but chuckle, "I meant you can go to your room or wherever and I can finish cleaning up."

"Oh. Sorry," he said sheepishly.

OoOoO

Angel was sitting in his room when he heard the doorbell ring. He narrowed his eyes and went over to his window, trying to look out the blinds, but since it was dark by now it was no use.

Normally Angel wouldn't give a damn, but with all this strange activity going on he couldn't help it.

"Yeah? It's open," he called out when there was a knock on his door shortly after.

Connor popped his head in and smiled. "Buffy's here, in case you want to say hi." And with that, he quickly ducked back out.

Angel paused, letting that sink in, then jumped up and grabbed a shirt and threw it on and started out his bedroom. He saw Willow first, talking to Jenny in the living room and his eyes went wide at the sight. This was not the every day Willow. But when his eyes found Buffy he stopped dead in his tracks, his blood all rushing south.

"Hey there," she said sweetly.

"Uh... hi," he said awkwardly as his eyes continued to drink her in. Almost all of her too with the tiny dress she'd apparently decided to wear tonight.

"Doesn't Willow look amazing?"

Angel swallowed loudly and tore his eyes away and looked towards a blushing Willow. "Yes," he said huskily, "you look very nice." He told her and her face burned even brighter.

"Thank you," she answered softly, amazed and kind of scared. But almost embarrassed when she saw that look in his eyes from staring at Buffy.

"So, bro," Connor said coming back in as he adjusted his jacket, "you sure you don't want to join us?"

"Yeah Angel, we can wait..." Buffy said, drawing his eyes back.

He couldn't speak, just shook his head in a no. Though, right now, it seemed like the hardest thing he'd ever have to do. That, along with just trying to breathe at the moment.

Buffy sighed deeply, which did not help Angel out any as he had to bite back a moan. "Okay but this is the last time I'm asking," she warned and turned to grab her coat from the chair she'd laid it on.

Her skirt, which was too damn short to begin with, rode up a little and Angel didn't miss any of it. Nor did he miss how the dress curved around her from that angle and how much skin it showed off either.

"This is not good," he muttered and shoved his hands into his pockets, afraid of what he might do otherwise.

"Well, I guess we should be off then," Connor said and helped her put it on.

Buffy thanked him and then tilted her head, looking at Angel, the unspoken question there. He attempted to smile and told them to have a good night then watched as they turned to leave, heading out for the night.

His knees almost gave out once the door closed and he let out a huge breath.

"Shit," he muttered.

OoOoO

Angel and his shaky legs made their way to his room where he collapsed on the bed. A clear image of Buffy from a few moments before played in his mind. A clear image of Buffy, in that tiny black dress she had, in his arms, in his bed...

Angel groaned as his pants grew ever more uncomfortable. "Fuck," he growled out.

That was going to stick with him for a good, long while.

OoOoO

"I think that my brother wanted to devour you back there," Connor said, making Buffy laugh loudly. He was sure there were more than enough people out there who just wanted to be a fly on the wall when those two came to their senses.

"He did seem pretty surprised," Buffy said, remember the look on his face. It sent chills through her entire body, which she then scolded herself for.

Connor gave her a pointed look, "You could say that, yeah."

Buffy laughed again in reply.

Xander pulled the car into a spot and smiled back at his new blonde friend. "You two are going to be turning heads all night," he told her and Willow, knowing this from his own personal experience earlier.

"Thank you," they both replied and got out of the car.

Buffy looked around taking the place in, feeling more excited about it, even if Angel wasn't going to come join them.

OoOoO

Angel closed his eyes and released his hand from around his softening member. His hand nearly hurt from using it to release the pent up tension in that area from seeing Buffy as she were earlier. 

He took a few moments to calm down before cleaning himself off then sitting up, growling again and cursing a certain blonde girl who was messing with his head, his feelings, his moods, his entire life.

Angel stood up then went to his his closet. He began digging out some clothes then he went across to the hall to the bathroom and slammed it shut. He turned the shower on and started to strip.

He needed some time to cool down and think this over before he did something incredibly stupid.

He knew that he was going to either way, though.

OoOoO

Buffy was having the time of her life. She enjoyed the band, and Willow's attraction to a certain guitarist even more. She enjoyed meeting new people, some who she knew wouldn't normally speak to her because of a certain missing male. Especially some of the guys that insisted on hitting on her tonight. She enjoyed getting to know her 'older' friends better as well, including Connor who happily gave little bits of information about his brother here and there, whether on purpose or not. Buffy wasn't always sure with him.

She enjoyed the free feeling. And just, the entire thing. The vibe, the atmosphere, the people, the club, the night. All of it.

She hadn't exactly had even one great day in so long, now she had five days worth so far and this was how it was being topped off? She knew she could get used to this... but never would.

But, she wasn't about to let those thoughts cloud it. Not today, not tonight.

Buffy smiled and got everyone back out onto the floor.

OoOoO

Angel slipped his new clothes on, which wasn't easily in some cases since he didn't take the time to dry off properly, and continued cursing once more. "This is completely ridiculous," he muttered to himself and quickly fixed his damp hair before swinging the door open and going back to his room. He grabbed a jacket out of his closet then grabbed his keys and headed back out of his room and down the hall.

Jenny was sitting in one of the chairs in the living room watching the television when he came pounding in. She looked up and then looked him over, a surprised look crossing her face.

"I'll be back later," he grumbled then muttered some more things she couldn't hear, but had an idea what they were. Then he opened the front door and made his way to his car. 'I cannot fucking believe this.'

OoOoO

The band were taking a break, which gave Buffy the perfect opportunity to push Willow to her goals.

She, along with the rest of the gang, watched her shyly walk over there and started talking to Oz. Xander started making some silly comment but she didn't hear the rest of it as a set of strong arms circled around her waist from behind.

Buffy cursed the stool she was on that gave away such easy access to her and then whoever it was behind her.

She thought it was possibly that Riley Finn guy who'd been pretty touchy with her the whole night, which only got worse when she agreed to dance with him, hoping that'd be enough and he'd get the hint. Apparently, she'd been wrong though.

She was about to tell Riley, or whoever it was, off when they leaned down and whispered in her ear. "Dance with me."

Buffy froze. She honestly wasn't expecting him to be here. She gave up what tiny bit of hope she had in changing his mind over an hour ago, if not longer.

His arms loosened and she paused a second before slowly turning around, finally facing him. "Angel," she breathed as their eyes locked and he smiled, then started taking off his jacket. She stared at him, utterly speechless.

His hair was still noticeably still damp, but was spiked and perfect as always. He removed his long black duster, placing it on top of her jacket she'd brought, leaving him in a plain black tee shirt that hugged him in all the right places. The best prize of all though was his cozy black leather pants. Gone were his baggy jeans and casual dress pants. And she was perfectly fine with that plan. He had on black boots and a black belt on as well. A silver chain slightly showing from his pants pocket.

The shower he took along with the darkness of the club made everything look even darker. His hair, his clothes, his eyes. He looked dark. Dark, dangerous and far too sexy for his own damn good.

Her tongue darted out and licked her lips and he held his hand out for her. She paused again, but only for a second, then grabbed it. And she let him lead her out the floor as the DJ put on a song to tide the crowd over while the band wasn't around.

Buffy easily snuggled herself against him, uncaring that everyone's eyes were on the two of them once they figured out who they were. Nor did she care about the feelings rushing through her, the ones she tried to deny to herself that she had, the ones that she didn't want to have. Not now and not about him. She just laid her head against him and enjoyed the moment.

'She's so tiny!' Angel thought as he looked down at her, gently rubbing his hands around on her back. Her personality always seemed to make her seem bigger somehow, but now, in his arms, he noticed how small the girl before him was. Especially up against him.

"Why'd you come?" Buffy asked him softly.

"I have no idea."

She chuckled and then looked up at him. "I'm glad you did," she told him then looked back down, laying her head back on his chest.

Angel smiled and pulled her slightly closer to him. "Me too," he whispered back to her.

And he was.

He hadn't been a few minutes ago as he sat outside the club in the parking lot wondering what in the world he was doing. He wasn't when he had to make his way to the door, being surrounded by all those people coming in and out. He hadn't been when he came in, people and music everywhere. He'd almost barreled through a large group who were by the door and in his way too. But when he saw her and made his way to her... it all slipped away.

Even with as completely small as she was, Angel felt like everything fit together properly somehow. She was small and warm, sweet and perfect. And in the cheesiest way possible, she felt safe and like home.

He knew he was in trouble.

OoOoO

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to join us after all," Connor said with a smirk as the two of them finally came back to the table, grabbing an extra seat for Angel along the way.

Buffy smiled, still unbelievably happy he was here, Angel on the other hand glared at Connor and hoped he'd shut up.

"Angel?" Buffy softly said, bringing him out of his state of mind with his brother.

"Yeah?"

"Will you take me to Disneyland?" She said with a huge smile on her face, trying to control her laughter.

Angel groaned but it turned into a laugh as well. "Saying no would do be absolutely no good, would it?"

"Probably not," she agreed. "I'd just show up in a bikini and..."

Angel groaned again.

OoOoO

Angel's hands never left her the whole evening. He always found one excuse or another to touch her whether they were dancing, getting drinks, sitting around talking or whatever else. It was almost as if he was afraid she'd disappear if he let go.

And as the night drew longer, it became a lot harder for him to keep his hormones in check. Something he hadn't exactly had issues with in the past. Sure, he had been attracted to other females before. He'd been turned on by them and even fantasized about them before. But this was different. As much as he'd wanted to play it off as she was the only female to ever be physically close to him so sure he'd be turned on, or that he was just long overdue, it was more than that.

His neighbors who insisted on having sex in front of their huge open windows could get a reaction from him. Sex tapes could. Angelina Jolie could. Baywatch could. Buffy though, it was needed. It was a craving. His hands couldn't get enough of her... and his heart wasn't far behind.

That was something he wasn't anywhere near admitting too, though. Being attracted to her, admitting that he was... that was a lot easier... Falling for her was a whole other story. That was something he knew he was never going to be able to deal with, but he sure couldn't stop it now.

OoOoO

Since Buffy had plans to stay the majority of the weekend with Willow, she had to abide by her curfew, which was fastly approaching. Even if it was late, a lot later than her redhaired friends would normally be, she wasn't ready for it. It was still all too soon since Angel showed up.

Buffy sighed and leaned over to Angel, throwing her arms around him. "Thank you for coming," she said for the umpteenth time.

"You're welcome," he grumbled.

"Oh, you had fun so don't even start," she teased then released him. She reached to grab for her jacket, but his didn't seem to want to let it slide from underneath so she picked it up and handed it to him. "Here."

Angel laughed and took it. He planned to leave anyway seeing as she was.

Xander stood up and stretched, "Guess I'll be taking you ladies home."

Buffy looked at him, then back to Angel. "Or... if you want to stay and if it's okay with him... Angel could drive us..."

Connor held up his drink, "Excellent plan! He doesn't mind at all. And since well, I live with you, I guess I'm coming too."

'He sounds a bit too happy about this all...' Angel shrugged and said it was up to Xander, who was happy to let them leave so he could stay and hang with Jesse for awhile longer. The two of them were having a blast annoying Cordelia after all.

"You really don't mind?"

"No," Angel replied and led them out to his car.

OoOoO

Everyone piled into the car and Angel started it but a thought occurred to him and he turned to the back. "Uh, Willow?"

Her head shot up and her eyes went wide. "What?"

"Uh, I don't know where you live..."

"Oh!" She said, relieved. Then when her heartbeat calmed enough she gave him directions and he started out.

OoOoO

"I cannot believe I just spent a Friday night at The Bronze," Angel grumbled. She was sitting on the hood of his car and he stood in front of her, leaning in.

Buffy laughed and leaned into his chest. "I can't either."

"Guess you should probably go inside huh?"

"Yeah..."

He reluctantly moved out of her way and helped her down to the ground.

"Wasn't so bad was it?"

"Just don't get used to it."

Buffy laughed again. "I don't think you have a choice."

He wasn't sure if he did either. It honestly didn't seem like it.

Angel walked her up to the door and wished her a goodnight, along with Willow who returned the favor. Buffy hugged him again and whispered "Sweet dreams" before going inside.

OoOoO

Connor had climbed up to the front seat when he walked back, that damn smirk still implanted there. "You should've kissed her."

"I'm not going to kiss Buffy," he grumbled. "And don't start with me."

A few minutes passed. Tension filling the air.

"If you don't ask her out soon, someone else is going to."

Angel, even though it never worked on him, sent his 'death glare' Connor's way.

"You know I'm right. And you know that shit doesn't work on me."

"I'm not asking Buffy, or anyone else for that matter, out," he growled.

"You should!"

Angel jerked his head away and looked out his window. "Sooner or later I'd have to tell her."

Connor shut up after that. He knew Angel was right.


	5. Chapter Five

_Blood._

_Lots of it._

_Everywhere._

_He was covered in it, although most of it was not his own._

_He took several shaky steps back._ _Three dead bodies remained in front of him. Their blank eyes all facing him._

_The first body was laid out on a love seat. It had once been part of a set, the one they used as their living room furniture for so many years before the redecoration. It was the only piece kept. It'd only been moved into this room recently._

_The second was a few feet away, laying out belly first on the large wooden desk that filled most of the room._

_And the third body was on the floor, against the wall. When it had slumped over, he had taken the steps away._

_Body number three had killed body number two. The weapon used was still clutched in its hands._

_He wasn't clutching anything anymore he hardly noticed. Not the weapon he'd used for the others. He didn't know when he stopped holding it or where it had landed. He didn't even know what it was. Not until much later when someone else informed him._

_They'd also had to inform him of the other body. The fourth body. The fourth murder. The body laid out only a few feet away from him. Down the hall, around the corner._

_He hadn't known, hadn't even thought._

_He threw up and began to shake._

_He fell to the ground._

_And that's where the police found him. Days later._ _He remained on the ground, staring blankly as them. Shaking. Unable to cry, unable to feel anymore._

_He kept replaying those moments in his head. Over and over..._

Angel bolted up in bed. His heart was racing, a silent scream dying on his lips and he was covered in sweat.

His sweet-turned-erotic dream about Buffy had taken a horrifying twist out of nowhere. She was gone... and then the nightmare of his memories came. Memories that, to this day, were still as vivid as they were then.

Angel reached to turn the lamp on in a hurry, but accidentally knocked it over instead. He cursed and felt his panic rising as he tried to find it.

He finally shakingly found it and turned it on. Breathing a small sigh of relief as the light came on, but he was still thrown.

With shaking hands, he placed it back down on his end table and tried to breathe, ringing his hands to try and calm them down, not that it was any use.

He slowly opened the drawer to the table and rumaged through, finding a cigarette and a lighter. He didn't know if he'd be able to make it outside though, but he couldn't smoke in here. He'd woken the house up too many times... but it seemed too hard to move.

He hadn't had a nightmare since Sunday. Not since Buffy.

But he knew why they were back. The reasons he didn't have, the feelings he didn't understand... If he was going to admit what they were and ever act on them... he was going to have to tell her.

Angel buried his face in his hands and tried to make it outside in the cool nights air.

He wondered how the people in this town would react if they knew how close some of the rumors they made up about him were. No, honestly, he only care about how she would. No one else's opinion really mattered.

Just this one girls'.

OoOoO

Buffy and Willow's night went considerably better than Angel's had. The girls stayed up for hours talking about it. About her and Angel, Willow and Oz. After all, what was more important or interesting that that?

Buffy still couldn't believe that he'd showed up... and with that attitude... and those pants! She could still feel his arms locked around her and it was like heaven. And if she hadn't been on such a high from it all, she'd be cursing herself about it.

She was attracted to him, she had been since first laying eyes on him. She liked him, the whole package. The good, the bad, the unknown. She liked their playful relationship. She liked trying to get him to come out and play with the rest of the world. Everything.

But she really didn't want to start developing anything more than that for him. It just seemed like the worst heartbreak waiting to happen.

He sure wasn't making it easy though.

OoOoO

Buffy spent Friday night, all of Saturday and most of Sunday at Willow's. Enjoying every last minute of it, too. The girls mostly just hung out, enjoying their time. Something Buffy wasn't about to take for granted. They talked boys, clothes, food, music, movies, LA, Sunnydale, their peers... and anything else that came to mind. They pigged out, played games, invited Xander over for awhile, watched movies, and just had fun. Hell, they even managed to slip in some study time.

After diner, Buffy started gathering her things up, not ready to leave and let the weekend be over with yet. Willow didn't seem to keen on it either.

Buffy was glad she'd become such good friends with her already. She seemed to need one just as much as she did. Especially one who she could have a fresh start with.

Buffy thanked Willow and her parents about fifty billion times before actually walking out the door. They were a really nice family, even with their small problems, and she hoped they knew how lucky they were.

Buffy put her bag in the back and then climbed in.

OoOoO

As they sat outside of Buffy's house in the driveway, Buffy did everything she could to stall getting out.

As they got closer and closer to her house, she felt an overwhelming sense of dread take over. The house didn't look any different. Nothing stood out. But it hadn't gone away.

She noticed her Mom's car wasn't there, but she knew Dawn had also spent the weekend with a friend, so maybe she'd gone to get her. 'You're being paranoid,' she said to herself, trying to push the fear down.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" Willow said cheerfully, breaking her thoughts.

Buffy turned her head. "Huh? Oh, sorry, kind of spacing," She laughed, trying to make it seem as real as she could, trying to keep her voice as normal as she could. "Yeah, thanks again for everything Wil."

"Anytime," Willow said with a huge smile.

Buffy attempted a smile back and reached for the car door, stepping out as slowly as she could. She looked at the house again, but still nothing stood out.

"Buffy? Are you okay?" Willow looked concerned.

"Yeah, I was just wondering where my Mom was. Her car's not here," she explained. It wasn't a complete lie after all.

"Oh. Okay?"

Buffy reached into the back and grabbed her overnight bag. "See you tomorrow, Wil," she said after a deep breath.

Willow waved and she closed the door, and she stood there watching as she drove away and out of focus.

Buffy took a deep breath again and turned towards her looming house. When she reached the door, she grabbed her keys, which set the tone of how nervous she was. Her hands shook uncontrollably, so much so that she even dropped the keys twice. "Fucking hell, get a grip," she muttered and tried again. Finally getting the damn thing open and she stepped inside.

"And just where in the fucking hell have you been?" came booming.

Buffy froze.

OoOoO

"Buffy? Buffy? Please wake up."

Buffy could feel Dawn calling for her and could even start to feel the younger of the two shaking her, her eyes started to flutter open.

"Buffy? Oh my God! I thought you were dead or something!"

"D-Dawnie?"

"Yeah, it's me. Hey..." she soothed and Buffy started looking around, noticing she was still laying on the ground.

'How long was I out?' She thought then started to panic. She hurried to push herself up, though cried out from the pain as she did. Pain shot through her like fire and she felt dizzy and like she was about to throw up.

"Buffy!"

"Are you okay?" Buffy asked and grabbed at her sister, trying to ignore the pain she was feeling.

"Where's Mom?" She looked around, but didn't see her or any signs of her being there, then she looked her sister over, trying to spot any signs that she'd been injured as well.

"Buffy, calm down! You're going to hurt yourself!" Dawn cried and pushed her hands away and to her lap and started trying to see to Buffy's wounds. "Can you stand?"

"I don't know, where's Mom?" she repeated.

"I don't know, Buffy. They're not here and are not any of my concern. You are." Dawn stood up, mentally trying to find the easiest way to get Buffy to her room. "I'm gonna take you upstairs, okay?"

And with a lot of help on Dawn's part, Buffy made it to her room. She'd cried the entire time, which only made everything hurt worse. She was shaking, unsure if it was from the pain, panic or cries. She was having a hard time breathing and wrapping her head, that was pounding into oblivion, anything.

Dawn carefully laid her down on the bed then went to the bathroom to find some supplies. She knew she should get a doctor but that was out of the question, with or without Buffy's fear of hospitals. "Are.. are you okay?" Dawn quietly asked as she came back in.

Buffy bit her lip and said nothing. What was there to say?

Dawn hurried to her side and started to clean her up the best that she could, wishing there was something she could do or say to help her sister, but nothing came. "Do.. do you want to go to sleep? I can stay in you want," she finally spoke again once she was done.

Buffy shook her head, "No, but you should try and get some sleep. I'll be fine. I need to stay awake for..." she shook her head again, "I'll be fine. Thanks for everything, Dawn. Really."

And once she left the room and closed it behind her, Dawn fell to the ground and started crying, trying to stay as silent as she could for fear Buffy would come rushing to her and hurt herself. And on top of that, right now, she needed to be strong for her.

Buffy tried her best to keep awake, but as time went on, the harder it became. And before she knew it, she'd fallen asleep.

OoOoO

Buffy's alarm clock woke her up, and not only her, her mother and sister too as they were laying around her in the bed. "M... Mom? I'm sorry, I tried to stay awake..."

"It's okay, Buffy. Are you alright?"

"Yeah," she lied. "Are you?" She asked with a wince as her mother sat up. She wasn't in much better shape.

"I'll be fine," she assured then quietly said, "I'm sorry."

Buffy honestly didn't know whether or not to cry or yell, to feel anger or sadness, to pity or to blame. It was a never ending cycle. "I have to get dressed for school," she opted.

"You're in no shape to go to school!" Dawn cried.

"Buffy..." Joyce started to agreed but she shook her head.

"I have to go," and she started trying to climb up and out of the bed, her body protesting and tears forming in her eyes at every movement. "I'll be out soon."

"Buffy..."

"No," she said, harsher than she'd wanted to and regretted it even more so when she pulled back, as if she'd just been slapped. "No," she said, softer, "I have to go." And with that, she clumsily made her way to the bathroom and started to run a bath. She'd wanted to take a shower, but was afraid she couldn't handle it after taking a moment to consider everything.

'How am I going to make it through today?' She asked as she removed her clothing, wincing still at every move.

She had avoided the mirror at all costs, not ready to see yet, but had a pretty good idea on what it might show.

The water had stung her so much she'd cried and even bit her lip so bad that it bled, but it felt so good and needed. Her head throbbed and she laid it against the edge and for the most part, turned to the side for fear she might get sick. Her hand stayed on her side, where a large, ill looking bruised covered most of her stomach and side. She wondered how bad it was. Internal bleeding, bruised, cracked, broken ribs... and who knew what else.

The bath had helped, but it didn't exactly make anything better.

OoOoO

The water had finished draining and Buffy remained, unmoving, sitting on the toilet seat as she had been since forcing herself out of it. Tears were streaming down her face and she was doing her best not to make any noise, knowing that if her sister or mother heard, they'd come rushing in and she didn't want that.

When she got calm enough, Buffy towel dried herself off then finally stood up, with help from the counter, and looked at the mirror. She already knew about the aches and pains in her body and their cause. She knew the bruises, cuts, scrapes and so on.

This was her first look at her face though and she sighed in relief when she knew it wasn't as bad as she'd thought and that with enough make up, she could hide it easy enough.

The rest of her just needed some baggier clothes, which she'd go grab from her room in a minute.

Now all she had to do was hide the pain. That was always the hardest part, but she'd become a pro long before today.

OoOoO

Jenny used all of her willpower not to laugh at Angel Monday morning as they ate breakfast. He was trying to move Connor along, to get up, get dressed, get ready and come eat. In a hurry.

She was sure she had never seen him this happy or this excited about anything, let alone going to school on a Monday morning, in her life.

She'd been so shocked that he'd left Friday night, another one who hadn't sincerely expected him to go. But he did. And Connor took the liberty of filling her in on the details when they got back and when the elder Angelus was out of sight and hearing range.

Buffy Summers sure was the best thing to ever happen to this family, and quite possibly the town judging by the way things were going.

She couldn't have been any happier.

The weekend with them went fairly well, even though Angel was noticeably anxious the entire time. But he was in a much better mood, which would normally put them in one as well.

"You do realize she's not going to be there this early right?" Connor grumbled as he entered the room, interrupting her memories of the past few days. He was groggy and fell into his chair, clumsily grabbing for his breakfast.

Angel tried to hide his blushed and somehow managed to shoot daggers his brothers way. Even with the nightmares having returned, Angel was in a great mood. He did feel a bit nervous too and anxious. And about everything else, all mixed into one great big mess of emotions.

OoOoO

Angel laid his stuff down and started helping Jenny get her stuff back up and running. Connor, on the other hand, wasn't quite as helpful. His head was laid down on the desk, on top of his folded arms, as he tried to get his extra sleep in.

When he finished with what Jenny asked him to do, he grabbed up his bag and dropped it on Connor's head before picking it back up and heading for the library.

"I've changed my mind," Connor said with a yawn as the door closed, "love doesn't suit him. In fact, it's quite irritating."

Jenny laughed and watched as he fell back asleep as soon as the words had left him.

OoOoO

Angel was walking through the halls when he noticed Riley Finn.

His first thought was to wonder why he was there this early and the next was why he was there at Buffy's locker.

And as if the kid had heard his thoughts, he turned his head, finding a not so happy Liam Angelus looking at him from the end of the hall.

Angel watched as he quickly shoved something into her locker then took off without another look his way. Angel casually strolled by her locker, noticing the white paper slightly sticking out of the vents.

'Why is Riley Finn sneaking notes into Buffy's locker?' Angel wondered, jealousy clawing at him.

He did what he could to push it aside and forget it. He continued on, doing what he could, but it wasn't easy.

OoOoO

Angel didn't spend too much time in the library, accounting to the fact that he'd spent most of the usual morning time in with her, not unlike most of his Mondays since he'd been driving Jenny and Connor here early. And he didn't really do much with that time besides sit and stare aimlessly at the books he'd seen time and time again.

When the first bell rang, he was more than ready for the day to begin.

OoOoO

Buffy had no idea how in the world she was going to make it through this day. It was now only lunch and she was far past ready to just go curl up and die somewhere. She was in so much pain that it hurt to even breathe. Standing, walking, sitting... they were all torturous tasks to do. And on top of that, she kept getting into trouble with teachers because of her lack of concentration.

All in all, this day was not her best.

At the moment, she was standing at her locker, holding onto it with a death grip, trying to make it seem as natural as possible.

A few minutes before she'd nearly fallen over in pain with a scream as someone brushed roughly into her, but she managed somehow. But this wasn't working.

She took a few deep breaths before realizing that wasn't the best idea so just tried to clear her mind the best she could.

She still had to go grab Angel, which was an even harder task. By now, she knew getting him to tag along wasn't any issue. But after all hell broke loose, walking from her locker to his then from his to join the others sure seemed like a death sentence.

But in the end she forced herself away from her locker and to get standing as straight as she possibly could, hiding the pain with a huge smile as she gathered her things and started towards him.

OoOoO

Buffy came up around Angel's side and wrapped the arm not covering her stomach around his slightly hunched shoulders then leaned her thumping head against him. "So tell me Angelus, did ya miss me this weekend?"

Angel looked down into her amused face before replying. "I think those were the two longest days of my entire life."

Buffy beamed then snug into him a little closer before pushing off of him to go rest of a surrounding locker. "Just as I thought," she smirked. "Pretty soon, you're just not going to be able to get enough of me."

Angel walked with her outside, down to where their little group had set up a picnic setting under one of the larger trees. She carefully laid down before tugging on his leg to follow, which he happily did, even if it was driving him insane.

He remember the way she felt, the way she fit perfectly against him and in his arms. He craved that feeling back. It was taking all of his willpower to not to reach out and touch her. To not roll her over and have his way with the perfect little body beside him that he did nothing but fantasize about.

He took a deep breath and did his best to try and concentrate on whatever in the world they were talking about.

But that turned out to be a bust. He could only focus on her. And soon he began to realize a few things... like how she kept one arm always wrapped around her, even as she lied down on it, as if protecting herself or something. Every once in awhile, when she moved too much, a flash of pain would cross her face, so fast though that he thought he'd imagined it the first few times. But worst of all, he started to notice how no matter how hard she laughed or how big and bright she smiled, it just... wasn't real, like something was missing. The little spark behind it and the little twinkle in her eyes, gone. And he had no idea why.

OoOoO

Buffy knew he was watching her, a little too closely for her liking today. Any other day she'd bask in it, flirt and make fun of him all the while her heart pounded and happiness would pierce through her.

But not today.

Somehow she knew that if anybody could see through her well practiced act, it would be him. And she had a feeling that it was already starting to happen.

She also knew that with everything that'd gone on, she really shouldn't feel as comfortable around someone with Angel's reputation. Yet she did. And it was far more than he knowledge that he was much more than what everyone else thought or saw in him.

He just felt safe.

Whether he was or not was a different story, but that didn't matter.

"So, besides the obvious fact that you missed me, what else did you do this weekend?"

"Nothing much really. I watched some movies and hung around. Nothing exciting. What about you? Did Willow leave anything out?" He asked with a smile.

Willow had been going on for most of the lunch about her and Buffy's weekend. But he didn't really care for the answer to that, unless it had to do why she was somehow in pain.

Buffy thought for a minute before smiling and shaking her head. "Nope, I think she covered all of our adventures." But she knew he wasn't asking about that. He'd noticed. And now when he asked, she was going to have to lie.

And that hurt her a lot worse than it ever had before with anyone else. Lying to him seemed like such a bigger crime then it'd ever been.

OoOoO

"Are you okay?" Angel whispered as they headed back inside, towards Jenny's classroom.

Buffy smiled, as big and reassuring as any one she'd give any other day besides the missing factors he'd come to realize, and shook her head.

Angel wanted to, but didn't push it. At least he wasn't going to right now. But something was wrong. He could feel it.

"Hi Ms Calender," Buffy happily greeted. "How was your weekend?"

"Hello Buffy, it was fine. Yours?"

"Great! Oh and I don't know if you had anything to do with a certain someone showing up Friday, but if you did, I just wanted to thank you."

Jenny smiled, "Thanks, but that had nothing to do with me. I hear you two had fun though."

"Absolutely. Though, he may not admit it," Buffy chuckled then headed for her desk. She leaned toward Angel, who was already in his, "I forgot to mention, I was kind of hoping those leather pants you wore were some kind of phase you'd decided to enter."

"Sorry to disappoint," he said wryly.

"Oh, no, it's fine. I got memories," she smirked and started gathering her things, thankful he wasn't asking any questions. Yet. "Any plans for this weekend?" she asked after a few minutes.

"Don't even start with me," he growled, making her laugh.

"I hope you remember you gotta take me to Disneyland!"

OoOoO

"Angel? Angel?" Buffy was whispering at him, trying to grab his attention. "Angel?"

Finally he looked over, just for her to hold up her index finger and mouth "hold on" at him, making him groan. The girl had the most annoying habits.

She'd turned to write something in her notebook, which after a moment she ripped the page out slowly, then handed it to him. Under the words "You look grumpy, I thought I'd cheer you up," she had drawn a little was of her and him, sitting as they were at their tables. Buffy had a caption over her head that read "Angel?" while his had "#!&" over it. Her face was marked with pure amusement as the picture of herself was of her flashing his way, while his was stuck in between the anger and shock as he'd apparently half turned towards her.

As soon as he looked at it, he buried his head in his arms on the table, trying his hardest not to laugh. When he lifted his head, he turned towards her, who was smiling brightly. He raised his eyebrow and she gave him a pointed look before reaching down, pretending to act like she was about to make this little drawing come to life.

But then the bell rang and she snapped her fingers.

"Darn," and they both laughed.

"You know, I'd be more than willing to wait here longer..." he offered.

"Get up, ya pig," she chuckled.

"You know, now I'm going to expect this one day."

"Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it."

"Don't tease me, Miss Summers."

OoOoO

Not until the middle of the next class did Buffy realize that she had Gym next period and how she'd forgotten to get a note from her mother.

She quickly went through her options until she found the right one, which brought a smile to her face as it came to her. And so when the bell rang she happily got up, despite the pain that overtook her, and hurried to Angel and grabbed his hand and started dragging him out the door.

"Buffy? You do know I have a different class than you right? And that it's in the complete other direction?"

"Yeah, so? We're not going to class."

"We're not?"

"Nope."

OoOoO

Angel had skipped school before, even skipped a class or two here and there, but the excuse for these had never been for a girl. And never had they been to sneak off to the school basement with one.

Not until Buffy.

And just because he hadn't, didn't exactly mean he didn't know what that typically meant. But with her, you really just never knew.

He sure had his hopes, and his nerves, up though.

"Uh, Buffy?" he asked as she opened the door and took a few steps down the stairs.

Buffy smiled and looked back at him. "If you really want to go to class Angel, be my guest," she told him happily, "But me personally, I don't feel like going to Gym today and I thought I'd drag you along with me for company." And with that, she turned back around and headed deeper into the basement.

Angel watched her get to the bottom of the stairs, then he sighed, closed the door behind him and followed.

Buffy smiled as she heard the door click softly, followed by his footsteps and breathy mutters.

"So, this is the school basement," he said, looking around.

"What? You've never been down here before?"

"I don't exactly make it a habit to come down here, no."

A smile took over Buffy face, the first real one she'd made since before leaving Willow's. She liked Angel's answer very much. "Guess we'll just have to fix that, won't we?" she said slyly, then grabbed him to start digging around the dusty and damp area.

"So, why exactly did you not want to go to Gym again?" Angel asked after a few minutes as they found somewhere clean and safe enough to sit down.

Buffy shrugged. "Wasn't feeling like it. Besides, it's the only class I seem to have with a certain someone I'm trying to avoid."

"Oh? And who might this lucky person be?"

Buffy slapped at him. "Why? Want some pointers?"

Angel laughed. "Couldn't hurt."

"Funny. But honestly, I don't really see you and Riley Finn having a conversation."

And Angel suddenly remembered the boy hanging out at Buffy's locker earlier. "Oh... uh, why are you avoiding him?"

"He asked me out," Buffy said and shrugged again. "Apparently he didn't get the point Friday that I wasn't interested."

Angel felt relief overflooding him. But, he also knew that it was only so long before someone else asked and before she would say yes. It made his skin crawl, the very thought of her with... anyone that wasn't him.

"Wanna play hide and seek?"

Angel broke out of his thoughts and laughed. "What?"

Buffy smiled, "Well we gotta pass the time, don't we? Hide and seek... or truth or dare? Pick one. Or think of something else."

Angel chuckled as he thought it over. He honestly had a better idea in mind of how to waste the hour, but decided to not voice that opinion.

Instead, he eventually agreed to truth or dare, knowing he was going to end up regretting it.

Buffy just smirked, she had no plans to regret anything. 'Come whatever may. This is gonna be fun.'

OoOoO

"Okay, last question," Buffy said as the bell rang. A smile planted proudly on her face. "Truth or dare, my friend?" She'd fully enjoyed the past hour, teasing Angel as well as learning bits and pieces about him.

All in all, that was always good.

Angel groaned. Neither had proven to be on his side.

It was kept light and fun, but still. This was him. And she was Buffy.

Angel sighed. "Truth."

Buffy pouted at first then a smile broke out once more and she leaned in closer to him. "Tell me, do you wish you would have chosen hide and seek instead?" She asked and they both broke out into laughter.

"As a matter of a fact..."

Buffy smiled and started telling him to come on. They did still have one more hour left to go, though neither were exactly that happy to go. But given their last class was study hall in the library it wasn't exactly end of the world.

The two of them quietly opened the door, seeing kids still passing through the hall, and slowly began stepping out. They both winced at the bright lights and noise coming at them.

"By the way, thank you for skipping out with me," Buffy told him as she grabbed for his hand, unsure of whether he was going to jerk it back or not, but didn't really care.

After a second, she started pulling on him and they headed towards the library.

OoOoO

"Jeeves! We made it!" Buffy called out, as always, startling the Englishman.

"Miss Summers," he greeted, noticing her and Liam Angelus' hands entwined. It was both a shock... and not. In any event, he thought it was a good thing.

"You know, you can call me Buffy."

"Yes, and you can call me Mister Giles or even just Giles, but you seem to be more comfortable with Jeeves, Miss Summers."

Buffy laughed. "Fair enough."

OoOoO

"Have you ever even said 'hi' to that man," Buffy questioned softly as they took their regular seats. Well, the new one for him.

"Jesus, I thought we were done with the questions."

Buffy smirked. "Never."

"I believe that. And no, I haven't."

"Why not?"

"I don't have conversations with people."

"You have them with me."

"Yes, and that was my first mistake," he said, receiving a glare in return which made him chuckle.

Buffy began to reach down for her bag as she went on to tell him how she knew he'd miss it if she stop bothering, and since she was paying more attention to him she failed to realize her bodies oncoming problem. And as soon as her ribs came in contact with the side of the chair she yelped, so loud it was almost a scream before she remembered to shut up, and tears began forming in her eyes. Her hand went, in lightening speed, to clutch her side, as if trying to hold herself together.

Angel sat frozen, watching her. His eyes were darkening.

Suddenly, he got up and went around to her and pulled her up firm but gently and started walking her towards the door. "We'll be right back," he muttered over to Giles as they passed him and then on out of the room and into the hallway.

Giles' stood, eyes wide, watching them until the were out the double doors. Then continued to stare at it for several more moments.

OoOoO

"You spoke to him," Buffy finally said something as Angel continued to make her nervous.

"Are you okay?" he asked, any amusement or playfulness gone from his tone.

"Yes, I am fine. I just ran into the arm of a chair."

Angel glared at her. Not a playful one she was used to, but not his 'death glare' either. "No. You've been in pain long before that, I noticed it only from lunch on. Why?"

Buffy lowered her eyes and suddenly all the happiness and joy that surrounded her seemed to slip away.

Angel felt his throat tightening and his fist clenching. His heart hurt for her like nothing else. His eyes darkened even more as he thought of whoever or whatever had hurt her in any way.

He couldn't stand it.

"Buffy..."

She shook her head and he noticed the tears falling, driving him even more.

He forced himself to calm down, as much as he could, and he stepped closer to her, tipping her chin up so she'd have to look at him.

This girl looking at him, he didn't know. The fire and passion, gone. Playfulness, gone. The fight in her, gone. Happiness, gone. All of it. Before him wasn't who he met in the library a week ago. The girl who teased him relentlessly all last week, who drove him insane. She wasn't who'd stolen his heart and brightened up his entire world.

Angel's hand dropped down to her waist, where he held her carefully and he took an extra step closer to her. "Truth or dare, Buffy," he whispered.

At the look in his eyes, Buffy wasn't sure they were talking about her injuries anymore.

"I th-thought the game was o-over," she whispered. Right now she hated herself, hated not being in control of herself. Crying. In front of Angel. That wasn't her. Not being able to hide behind an awful lot of cheerfulness no matter what she really felt. That wasn't her.

Not usually.

She knew Angel wouldn't force her to tell him, wouldn't do anything unless she was okay with it. And either way, whatever the simple question he'd asked meant, she was okay with it.

"Dare," she barely breathed out.

Angel swallowed, he was also unsure of what he meant when he asked her truth or dare. In his mind, he was staying on topic, but as the words left and he kept getting closer, they took on a new meaning.

He was also unsure as to which answer he'd been wanting to hear.

Now he knew even less what to expect. 'This was a fucking bad idea, Angelus!' His mind screamed at him.

He was supposed to be looking down to where his fingers twitched under the hem of the shirt she had on, but they were locked in with hers. His head was supposed to be facing down, watching as he slightly lifted up her shirt, not in any manner he'd imagined the past week, but just to check for her injuries, but instead his head was lowering down to hers.

Slowly, he pushed her shoulders back against the set of lockers behind her as his hand carefully moved to her back then drew her closer. His body crushed against hers and his lips came down, claiming hers. He earned a moan in response, as well as her two tiny hands climbing their way up to his hair, running her fingers through it and drawing him in even closer.

He wasn't exactly sure how they got here, but he didn't care. He was in heaven, he could just thank God later.

The kiss became more demanding, on both their parts, and he slid his tongue across her lips, coaxing them open. When she granted him entrance, it was his turn to groan. Carefully he lifted her up and she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist as he continued to explore every inch of her mouth.

Then they heard a door open.

Both of them broke away, panting for breath, as they turned to see who just caused this disturbance.

It turned out to be a teacher, exiting her room from down the hall. A teacher who was now staring in shock at them.

Angel glared and Buffy began to blush. And before he knew it, she unwrapped herself from him and ducked from under his arms that he'd pulled away from her and set against the lockers to steady himself. When he figured it out, she knew, she felt his eyes on her but she was already turned away, walking a few steps ahead. "We should get back," she told him, not looking back. She just continued back towards the library.

Angel watched her, trying to breath and get a handle on himself. 'I just kissed her. I just kissed Buffy.' "Holy shit," he breathed and closed his eyes.

'How the fuck did this happen?'

He could still feel and taste her. It was driving him insane.

It wasn't the first time he'd kissed someone, but the last time he had was before he moved here, and when he was just entering his teen years.

The last time he kissed someone was before there was actual meaning behind it.

He knew he was in trouble. A lot of fucking trouble.

His ranting and cursing himself started.


	6. Chapter Six

Buffy entered the library, greeting Giles again as he asked how she was and if everything was okay. She did her best to convince him everything was peachy, which was a lot easier now, and then went back to her chair... wondering when Angel would be coming back, too.

He strolled in a few minutes later, still cursing himself. He really didn't know what to do or think. He'd kissed her! But that wasn't even the worst of it. He still didn't know what was wrong with her.

Angel slid beside her in his chair, unsure of what to do. But then, she lifted her head and smiled. "You okay?" she asked, noticing his uncharacteristic nervousness.

Angel shifted nervously in the chair. "Uh, yeah, I just... that wasn't... I didn't mean..."

She smiled again. "I know, and it's not a big deal. We had a moment. We kissed. It's okay," she shrugged.

'No, Buffy, it's really not,' he thought in disagreement. "I.. I meant to um... check..."

"I know," she said, her eyes falling back down, away from him. "But it's okay. Really, Angel."

"Buffy..."

"Not today," she said softly, almost a whisper.

Angel nodded then slumped back in his chair. He stayed that way, with his eyes closed, mind running wild, for the rest of the period.

OoOoO

"Angel?" Buffy called as she picked up her things once the bell rang. He turned, looking at her, every emotion he was feeling shining clear. She had to swallow before continuing. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable... and..." she sighed, "I'll tell you about... it. Just... not today. But I will." She didn't want to, but knew, sooner or later that she would.

Last night wasn't the end and it was only a matter of time before not only he, but anyone paying attention, would too. Holding it off as long as humanly possible was her goal though.

Angel just nodded. He couldn't find himself doing anything else right then.

OoOoO

He was known for some pretty heavy mood swings. After everything that happened, sure, but increasingly so, in a new light, since Buffy. Connor found it laughable. Usually. But when he teased him and got no response, no angry threats, no glaring eyes, no tense muscles, nothing... well, he started to worry.

Jenny did too.

They both asked if he was sick or something, which he denied but gave nothing else away.

Knowing it was no use, they dropped it after that.

Angel didn't seem to notice either way.

OoOoO

Angel sighed and gave up trying to do any homework. His mind couldn't concentrate on anything but the tiny blonde who he was still going crazy about.

He never wanted or needed anybody. He knew what that could do to a person. But then... she showed up.

He still had no intention for dependency on anyone, but he couldn't help it. He tried to stop it, tried to deny it, and it was no use. She breezed in and took him by storm. He'd only known her for a week, but it didn't matter.

It terrified the shit out of him.

'How the fuck could I fall in love with her?' he shouted at himself. There was an easy side to the answer for that, but also a dark warning with it.

Yet he was. Fast and hard. And he couldn't find a way to stop it.

'Pain. Nothing but pain. That's where this is going to end up, you dumb piece of shit! You can't have her. Never. You. Can't. Get it?'

Angel ran his hand over his face, tormenting himself all the while. A back and forth battle between his feelings for her and his worry about her. Two things that were eating away at him. Something was wrong, really wrong. She was hurt, but it was more than that. She was hiding it, hiding something bigger. And it was killing him. 

Like so many other things.

OoOoO

Angel continued driving himself insane, so much so that he hadn't heard the knock on his door until it turned more into a bang. He quirked his head towards the closed door and shook his head from his thoughts. "Uh, sorry... yeah?" He called.

"You have a phone call," Jenny said through the door and his mind went blank.

'Who the fuck would call me?' he wondered.

"It's Buffy," she added after a moment of silence, knowing his thoughts were probably of trying to figure out who might call him.

"Oh," he said out loud then hurried out of his bed and to open the door, taking it from her with a fast smile. 'Thanks' he mouthed and she smiled. "Uh, hello?"

"Hey there," she said, her voice full of amusement. "I wasn't sure if you talked on the phone, you know, that whole... you against human thing or whatever."

Angel stood in silence. He didn't talk on the phone and honestly it wasn't a big deal. He sure was treating it as so anyhow.

"You busy?"

"No. I was just... doing some homework..." he lied.

"Good. I guess I won't be interrupting anything important than," Buffy told him as she reached her hand up to ring the doorbell. "You should probably get that."

OoOoO

"Connor, could you get that?"

"Sure Jen," he answered and went over and opened the door. "Buffy?"

Buffy smiled at him and closed the phone. She was sure that Angel heard him through it, if not through the walls. "Hey, Connor! I hope I'm not intruding or anything... I just thought I'd come over, say hi, you know... whatever..."

"No! Not at all. Come in."

"Thanks," she smiled again and walked inside, looking around. "Hi again, Ms. Calendar."

"Buffy, what a nice surprise," Jenny smiled from the other room where her head was peeking in from.

"Sorry to just barge over..."

"Not at all, make yourself at home."

"Yeah, I'm actually glad you came over."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, maybe you can tell us why Angel is in such a bad... hey," he said, seeing his brothers form come into view.

Angel crossed his arms over his chest, taking in the sight of his favorite blonde, as he leaned against the corner of the hall.

"I may have an idea," she smirked. "Hey!"

"Hey."

"Wanna hang out?"

Angel chuckled. "If I said no, would you leave?"

"Nope. I'd just hang out with Connor, all alone," she smiled and hooked her arms around the younger of the two men, making them laugh and Angel growl softly to himself.

"I thought you already had plans for this evening, Con."

"True, but..." he looked Buffy over, "it's such a hard thing to resist."

Buffy laughed. "And what exactly are you going out to do?"

Connor shrugged. "Just going to go play some ball with some friends."

"Hmm. Well, I wouldn't wanna keep you from that, just as long as I get next time."

"It's a date."

"Good."

And after a few minutes of teasing the pair, Connor left, once again promising that they'd all get together next time.

"So umm... what brings you by?"

Buffy shrugged. "I was bored at the shop, thought I'd come bug you for a bit. See what you were up to and whatever."

"Oh. Well umm.. I'm glad you came by..."

"You're not good with this whole 'hanging out' stuff huh?" Buffy laughed.

Angel smiled sheepishly. "Not... not really. Sorry."

She laughed again. "Well we can just hang out and do whatever, study seeing as I brought my books, or if you want, I'd even leave too. I was just bored."

"No! I mean... no, um... here," he took a few steps to her and grabbed her hand, receiving a smile for it, then tugged for her to follow him. "Jenny?"

"Yeah?"

"Um, me and Buffy will be in my room... umm.. if you need anything..."

"Okay," she said with a smile.

"Right... um.. this way..." he said nervously and led her down the hall to his room, feeling nervous and uneasy about the whole thing. No one besides Connor, Jenny, some moving people and a doctor on a few occasions had been the only people he could think of to have been in his room. This was just another Buffy induced new situation.

And it became even more so when he closed the door behind them and Buffy pushed him back into it. She quickly dropped her bag then stepped closer to him, her body pressing into him.

She smiled then stood on her tip toes, swinging her arms around his neck, before shocking him more so with a kiss.

Forgetting, or just not caring, about her injuries, she broke the kiss off long enough to jump up into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist as it had earlier, before her mouth once again attacked his.

It hurt like hell, but she ignored it.

OoOoO

Buffy once again broke the kiss, this time unwrapping herself from around him, and dropped back to the ground. Panting and smiling the whole time.

She took a few steps back before turning, then bending down to grab her bag backup, and headed over to his bed where she plopped down. "Call us even," she smirked.

Angel stood in a daze. That was very much not what he was expecting and seeing her laying out on his bed, he realized he hadn't really thought this whole thing out too well. "Umm... right," he said, shaking his head, trying to clear his mind the best that he could given the circumstances. "So umm.. what exactly do you... want to do?"

Buffy shrugged. "Whatever." She looked over at the few books he'd had pulled out. "We can study if you want," she suggested but he groaned as he made his way slowly over the bed. "Or not," she said chuckling and closed his books and set them to the side, patting the spot where they were for him. "We could... watch something on tv or... movies," she said, eyeing his collection. "You know, this isn't exactly how I imagined your room."

"You thought about my room?"

"Yeah, well no, not exactly... it was more of a dream... but still."

"You had a dream about my room?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Yes, now what do you wanna do?"

"Find more out about this dream of yours," he said chuckling. "What exactly happened?"

"What do you think happened?" She raised her eyebrow then slipped off the bed, going to look his movies over. "I'll just decide for you."

Buffy looked over his movies, trying to decide on one as she teased Angel about where he might be hiding his porn collection. Then after grabbing one, she headed over to his closet and opened the door.

"You're getting colder," he called.

Buffy turned her head back at him, "I didn't think they were in here, I was just looking." And that she did, taking special note of all the silk and leather garments. "Nice," she said as she walked back out, closing the door.

"Thanks," he rolled his eyes and watched her come back over. He took the movie from her and went to go put it in.

When he turned around his eyes went wide, watching her satisfactory smile take over as she pulled out a few tapes from the bottom drawer of one of his dressers.

"Found 'em!" she called and laughed as she looked them over, more so when she looked him over. "Don't act so surprised," she told him then put them back, closing the drawer and standing back up to go back to his bed, pulling him down with her.

OoOoO

"Jesus, I'm going to have nightmares," Buffy said as she snuggled back into Angel's big body. He just laughed and pulled her even closer, wrapping his arm around her carefully.

He was really glad she'd chosen a horror film. He wasn't paying any attention to it, only the girl who was spooned up against him. Where she fit perfectly. And he was sure she'd be even better under him.

When the movie ended, he reluctantly removed himself from her so he could go turn the television off and rewind the old movie.

He came back and laid down, swallowing hard as she turned next to him, now laying on her back.

Buffy checked his alarm clock and sighed. "Guess it's getting kinda late, huh? I should probably go.." Before Angel could think of something to say she continued though. "I guess I owe you something still."

"You do?"

Buffy looked up at him, losing herself in his eyes for a moment. "You can't ask me about any of this okay?" she whispered.

Angel was confused and was sure his facial expression showed just that. "Um... Buffy? What are you..."

She reached up her hand, silencing him with a finger to his lips. "No questions," she said then closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Next, she opened them and slowly began lifting her shirt up above her stomach, displaying some of the many wounds she'd be inflicted the night before. "This is what the dare was supposed to be right?" she whispered.

Buffy sure didn't lack when it came to surprises, he learned this more and more every day. He was glad that when his eyes landed on her uncovered skin, she wasn't looking at him. He really didn't want to scare her and was having a hard time controlling anger rushing through him at the sight beside him.

Her stomach was covered in ugly bruises and cuts. There was more purple/blue/black/yellow/brown and red marks then her tanned skin showing. He swallowed hard and gently reached his hand out, checking the worst of it, the giant injury to her side that he knew had been bothering her earlier.

She sucked in her breath as he probed his fingers, checking to see how bad it was, deciding after a few moments that nothing was broken, but one of her ribs did seem to have something wrong with it.

He scooted down some on the bed, getting closer to her and in a better position to see what had happened to her.

His fingers gently traced down her side before moving on to the next bruise, then the next. His fingers lightly danced across every bruise and traced down every cut. He measured the size, depth, color, length of them all.

"There's more?" he asked in a whisper, finally daring to look up at her face.

Buffy just nodded and his head fell back down, tracing a particularly long cut that went from her side down into her back.

Someone did this to her, he was sure of it. Before it could have been anything, not just anyone, but tables turned. He couldn't wait to get his hands on whoever it was either.

He forced himself to calm back down before he lost it. Then Angel dipped his head down, kissing her stomach lightly, then reached up and pulled her shirt down then he smiled at her.

Buffy returned it then lifted her hands up his arms to his neck, pulling him down to her lips. She knew she was getting out of control with her emotions about him, but at the moment she just didn't want to care, so got lost in his touch.

Both of them groaned when they heard a soft knock on the door then Jenny's voice, asking if Buffy was staying for dinner.

Buffy smiled at Angel, who was still leaning over her, "No, but thank you. I was just getting ready to leave actually."

"Alright," Jenny called.

"You can stay..."

She smiled again. "I should really go, but thanks... for everything."

Angel nodded then slowly rolled away from her and watched as she gathered her things before walking her back out to the door.

"See ya tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Thanks for coming by, feel free to... whenever."

Buffy smirked but didn't say anything. "Later," and with that she turned and started walking back towards The Espresso Pump.

Angel closed the door with a sigh, then went to go help Jenny with dinner.

OoOoO

"Hey," Connor said walking in, "Buffy still here?"

"No."

"Well Jesus, if you're entire mood swings are going to revolve around the girl, I think you need to just take my advice and get on with it."

Angel glared. "I've already explained..."

"Actually, you know, thinking about it... you really don't have to tell her anything. At least not right away..."

"Tell who what?"

Angel glared at Connor, mixed in with showing how dumb he thought his kid brother could be, then turned to Jenny. "Nothing."

"Angel likes Buffy. Buffy likes Angel. Angel wants to ask Buffy out. Angel won't ask Buffy out. Why, you might be asking yourself. He doesn't want to tell her what happened with..."

"Shut up, Connor."

"Oh," Jenny breathed out. She hadn't really thought about it. She was too busy just being glad.

That and it was never talked about.

As far as she knew, Angel hadn't even spoken to Connor about that night. He sure as Hell hadn't talked to her or anyone else after they arrived.

After the evening with Buffy, Angel felt a lot better about the idea of telling her, but he still wasn't accepting that he would. With that and everything else that'd happened with her, it just became harder and more confusing.

OoOoO

Their supper went by strained, everyone thinking about the same thing, no one really talking. After it was over Angel gladly returned to his room.

He did his best to finally get his homework done, but it was impossible.

OoOoO

Angel had a pretty sleepless night. Between Buffy and his past, it wasn't that surprising.

He didn't have any nightmares, but then again, he really didn't sleep. Instead, he had a new kind of terror as he thought of his worries about the blonde.

He really didn't want to push her, but he needed to know.

The girl he was hopelessly falling for was living a hell which he knew too much about. He needed to help her. Even if for his own sanity.

OoOoO

Jenny was supposed to be getting her car soon and Angel was happy about that.

He drove them to the school and then was shooed out the door and went to the library. Since he knew he probably wouldn't see Buffy until lunch, he tried to block everything out and do the homework he still had unfinished.

He ended up surprised though as he left, heading for his first class. He had to walk past his locker to get there and happened to glance over, seeing Buffy at it.

He stopped dead center then started walking over to her. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for you. I've decided that you need a cell phone," she informed him.

"Why?"

"So you can talk and text with me."

"You want me to get a phone... just to talk to you?"

"Who else would you talk with?" she asked, quirking her head to the side.

"Okay... why do you want to talk to me?"

"That's a question I often ask myself," she laughed. "You should get to class you know," she patted him on the shoulder then started walking away.

Angel stared after her, more confused. His worries and anger temporarily gone however. He laughed and shook his head before just saying fuck it and headed to class.

He did not see her again until lunch this time, when she came bouncing over.

"You seem better today."

"Yeah, a little. It happens..." she shrugged. "it'll heal."

"It'll happen again right?" he asked, trying to not snap as the words left him.

Buffy looked away. "Probably." There was a few moments of silence before her head whipped back around. "But anyway, what are you doing later?"

Angel shrugged, trying his best to not grill her for answers.

"Well, what would you say to coming over and checking out my Mom's unfinished art gallery after school? You might get smoochies out of it," she told him and they both laughed. "And, if you help out, you might even get paid..."

Angel laughed again. "Why not," he said with a sigh then closed his lockers door.

"Don't sound too thrilled now. You might hurt something."

OoOoO

Connor took it upon himself to join in on the lunch with his brother, Buffy and their friends. Only Angel seemed to mind, which he was more than okay with. His brother also seemed to mind when Buffy also invited him to the little get together later. It made him happy.

As did his endless teasing of the two and what they might have been up to the following day.

They both knew he hadn't known, but blushed all the same as they remembered.

"Well apparently something happened!"

"Shut up, Connor."

"You know how bad of a mood he was in once you left?"

"Shut up, Connor."

"I told him that he just needed to..."

"Connor, I swear to God!" Angel said, his voice low and dangerous. Buffy just laughed though, as did Connor, irritating Angel all the more.

"You know, this makes me all the more worrisome about you two meeting my sister." Unfortunately, that statement led to questions about Dawn then the rest of her family.

Angel watched her closely, he knew the statistics when it came to things like her current... situation. He hoped it wasn't going to fall into them, but once she saw her flinch, he had the answer to that.

He had to leave the table before he snapped.

OoOoO

Buffy began cursing herself as her friends started questioning what was going on. Connor was about to go after him but she stopped him. "Just leave him be right now," she said quietly.

Connor looked her over, debating it, but finally sat back down with a questioning look on his face that she did her best to ignore the rest of the lunch period.

"Angel left his bag," Connor said, gathering up his own stuff and throwing away his litter.

Buffy looked down at it. 'Shit.' "Umm.. do you know where he might have.. gone?"

Connor looked down the way his brother had left for a moment then shook his head. "I really don't. And I don't know what the hell his deal is either."

She started reaching down for his bag. "I'll take it to class, maybe he'll show up."

OoOoO

"Are you okay?" Willow asked before they reached their next class, finally noticing Buffy wasn't acting like her usual self. At least what she knew to be usual anyhow.

"Yeah," she replied with a nod.

Willow thankfully just accepted it and went inside. Buffy followed, walking up to Jenny's desk, doing her best to explain why Angel may or may not show up for his Aunts class.

Jenny wasn't all that surprised, she was used to Angel's mood swings. It came with the package. Buffy obviously was not.

Buffy handed the teacher his bag then slowly started making her way back to her seat. Her arms wrapped back around her, holding herself together.

OoOoO

Angel never showed up.

He didn't show up for Jenny's class, then he still didn't show for Walsh's.

Buffy scanned the halls then sighed, going towards her locker. She put her things up then grabbed the note she'd gotten her Mom to write this time.

With another glance, she headed for the Gym, handing Coach Marin her note then climbing into the bleachers while the other kids got dressed.

She popped the top off of her pen and flipped the notebook she'd brought with her open and started writing.

When the class ended, she hurried out, slipping her note into Angel's locker before going on to the library.

"Hi," Buffy murmured, startling the librarian in a whole new fashion.

"Are you ill?" he asked on command, concerned.

"No, not really," she said, walking over to her seat and plopping her bag down. "How's your day been?" she asked turning around.

"Fine, I suppose. Yours?"

Buffy gave him a weak smile. "Okay." Then Buffy went up the stairs, searching for a few books she needed.

When she came back down she wasn't surprised to see Angel still hadn't arrived. She sighed and went over to the counter. "Angel won't be here today."

Giles nodded, unsure of what to say. Asking about it didn't seem like the right choice at the moment.

For the entire period, Rupert Giles found himself watching Sunnydale's newest student. She'd managed to turn Liam Angelus around quite a bit, now it seemed like he was returning the favor.

OoOoO

Angel returned to the school only a few mere moments after it let out for the day, but it was already back to hardly populated. His peers always having to rush out of the place as fast as they could.

Angel sighed and headed towards his locker.

As soon as he opened the door a small folded piece of paper came flying out at him, hitting the ground. He could only think of a short list of people who'd do such a thing, but was pretty sure who it had been this time.

He slowly bent down to pick it up, unfolding it then staring down at the words.

"Shit," he muttered and slammed his locker door before stalking towards Jenny's classroom.

Connor was glaring at him as soon as he walked in, he returned it and went to drop the letter from Buffy on the table in front of him.

"You have my bag still?" he asked, turning to face Jenny. She smiled and nodded before reaching under her desk and handing it to him. "Thanks, you need any help?"

Before she could answer, Connor was mumbling under his breath as he finished the letter. "I guess never mind about my evening plans," he glared up at Angel again. "His too. We won't be going anywhere."

OoOoO

The ride back to the house was made in uncomfortable silence.

Angel threw his bag quickly into his room then headed to take a shower, hoping it could calm him down, though that seemed highly unlikely. Nothing else was.

Only now he was a lot more pissed off at himself than anyone else.

OoOoO

Angel took a deep breath then opened the door to the small coffee shop. The small bell gave a ringing sound, drawing attention to himself.

He'd actually been in the Espresso Pump before, but the number of times he could count on one hand. He wasn't a coffee person. It made him jumpy.

But coffee had nothing to do with why he was here now.

The small blonde who'd disinvited him and who he needed to have a talk with however was.

Not caring about the way the servants or customers were looking at him, he walked up to the counter, scaring the holy hell out the girl. He didn't care though, and he didn't wait for her to collect herself and try and be polite. "Is Buffy Summers here?"

She was taken back for a moment then shook her head. "N.. no. Sh..she w..was here but th.. then she le...left with her s..sister."

"Fuck," he growled and punched the counter, making several people jump. The girl in front of him seemed to be on the brink of tears, too. "Thank you," he said, as nice as he could, then he turned and headed for the door.

Angel walked back down the street and into Jenny's, clearly frustrated.

Connor was still on the couch, glaring at him, as he'd been when he walked out. Angel didn't care.

He walked past him on to the hall and into his room. He laid down on the bed, his mind racing, emotions flying, and closed his eyes.

OoOoO

A soft knocking noise is what brought him out of his sleep. "Angel?" he heard Jenny's voice along with it.

"Yeah?" he mumbled back, trying to force himself more awake.

"Dinner's ready."

'Shit, how long have I been out?' he wondered, looking over to his still hazy looking alarm clock. 'Shit.' "Uh, thanks, but really I'm not that hungry."

There was a small pause. "You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, but if you change your mind... and they'll be leftovers for you in the fridge."

"Okay. Umm thanks."

Angel heard her out there still for a few moments more, then finally heard her soft footsteps retreating. He crawled to a more comfortable position on his bed and flung the covers over his head.

OoOoO

Buffy wasn't fairing any better. She went to the shop after school but left with Dawn soon after. She really wasn't feeling up to anything there, so she tried to distract herself with her younger sister.

Not that it helped too much.

It helped even less when they finally agreed to go home and Joyce was there, listening to a message left by the school, namely Principal Snyder, who voiced his concern over Buffy's choices in certain friends.

"Not again Buffy..."

She wanted to scream.

"What's going on?" she heard then from behind her.

Buffy whirled around, then, she wanted to cry.

OoOoO

After helping Buffy up to her room once more, Dawn snuck her sister's cell phone out and went to her own room. Her hands were shaky as she started dialing then number, but when her door flew open, it flew out of her hands and to the ground.

Thankfully, it fell out of sight.

She screamed, but nothing happened to her. Nothing ever did.

Buffy had jumped up out of her own room and protected her. Like she always did.

Dawn just slumped down and cried until it was over. Then she waited for it to be clear again, and went to help her sister back to bed.

When she returned to her room, she refound the phone and dialed an old friend. She didn't see much of a choice. Something had to be done. If not, her sister was going to wind up dead soon.


	7. Chapter Seven

Jenny was sitting at her desk, eating her lunch as she graded some papers when Angel came in, looking a little worst for wear. And before she could ask him what he was doing in there so early, he started dragging himself back to his seat for the next period and laid his head down on the table. Loudly. And she was sure, quite painfully. 

She guessed that meant whatever was wrong between him and Buffy hadn't been fixed.

Angel knew it just went a little more downhill.

She had never came, dragging him out to lunch with her. Then, when he went to go look for her, he hadn't been able to find her. Defeated, he came here. Every minute was a switch between his worry that he'd messed things far too up with her and his worry that something might have happened to her at home. Or wherever.

When the bell rang, he switched his viewing from outside through the windows to the empty seat that belonged to Buffy, praying she'd show up.

And when she did, he felt his chest tighten for a long moment before he let out a hard, long breath.

'She's okay,' he thought before looking at her more closely.

However, that wasn't exactly an easy thing to do seeing as the hoodie she had on, hood up, was hiding her face pretty well. She seemed to also be avoiding looking at him, too. As well as her arm wrapped around her middle seemed to be back in play.

When she did finally turn towards him, he felt his breathing stop again in anticipation. She brushed a few strands out of her eyes then smiled at him. "Hey," she said then bit her lip, locking eyes with him for a moment.

Next, she broke it and started flipping through her notebook and playing with the keyboard in front of her. Angel felt like he was just kicked in the stomach. If he was someone else, and if she were too, that would have seemed almost normal. But it wasn't.

"Buffy..."

She turned her head back towards him. Her face was calm. Her eyes, even calmer. Innocent looking, yet hidden pain and fear mixed together too. They were almost mocking him.

"I'm sorry."

She gave a confused smile. "For what?"

"Yesterday... I just..."

Buffy shook her head. "Nothing to be sorry for, Angel," she gave a tiny shrug. "You didn't do anything," she said before turning back to the computer screen and concentrating on it.

She didn't speak to him again that hour, though a few times he found her trying to sneak glances at him.

His heart sank at the sadness coming from her when she did.

When the bell ring, he nervously gathered his things up, trying to keep with her pace. When she stood up, seeing him standing too, waiting, she gave a small smile and started walking. She gave a tiny wave to Jenny before going out into the hallway.

Angel tried to think of something to say to her, but nothing ever came. He was too damn nervous. Among other things.

He also prayed she'd save him from this misery and say something witty, sarcastic, rude... or anything at all. But nothing came from her either.

The walk to their History class was made in uneasy silence.

OoOoO

Buffy took her seat, hating herself and how she knew she was acting. But she didn't know what else to do. She wasn't mad at him, or even hurt over it. She was sure that's how he saw it, though.

She wasn't completely sure how she did feel, but knew that it just came back to her own self.

She wasn't even trying to be her normal, more chipper self. She did some, when needed, but that was it. Today she was being more of the silent, sulking type without trying to be too obvious.

Jesse and Xander were really the only ones to say anything about it, but she used her charming ways to get off of the subject and make a joke out of it.

She was sure they just thought it was back to the day before. Whatever that all was.

She knew that even if she had tried to fake her way through the day again, Angel would see through it anyway. It was pointless there.

She didn't know how to take that or the fact that he already knew too much. She wanted to be mad almost, but all she could muster was feeling stupid and weak. Ashamed even.

When the bell rang, Angel walked beside her the feet short feet to the door from her desk, then a few more into the hall before she walked away without a word.

Once again, she walked into the Gym and handed the Coach her excuse note then climbed up into the bleachers. She spent the hour doing a little homework but, for the most part, the time was spent thinking about Angel. Trying to figure out how to handle the situation with him, whatever it was, and what to do next, where to go.

OoOoO

Buffy was putting off going over to Angel, who was sitting over in his 'Buffy seat,' his sad puppy eyes staring at her as she made conversation with Giles.

She started right from when she walked in and it carried on much longer than normal. But finally she got to a stopping place and sighed, she lowered her bag down from her shoulder then turned to walk in the broody teenagers direction.

Buffy walked over to the side of the table and motioned for him to scoot his chair back. He looked at her confused for a moment, not understanding, so she did it again and this time he got it and did as instructed.

She climbed up onto the table, sitting in front of him, her bag switched hands and she gently tossed it under her chair before looking back towards him.

She sighed and stared for a moment, then ran her hand up to her head and slowly pushed through her hair, knocking the hoodie down. After she felt it hit down her back she finger combed her hair for a moment, then she sighed again.

"Principal Snyder called my house last night," she started. "He left a message, a brief one and not very descriptive, but the message read clear. Basically, his disapproval and concern," she rolled her eyes, "about my friendship with you." Buffy smiled. "So, eight days and I've already had two meetings with Flutie, mostly about you, one with Snyder and then that phone call, and basically my entire school... town, even, warn me about you..."

Angel lowered his eyes, but she wasn't having any of it. Buffy kicked at his chair, bringing him back.

"Which, as you may notice, I really don't care. I have my past and you have... whatever it is... going on with you, sure, but I really don't see their big issue. I can see where it's coming from, I guess, but nothing more than that. I don't think there's anything wrong with you or me being friends with you. I don't see you as a bad influence, a threat or what-have-you. In fact, I view you as the complete opposite. I feel safe with you, mostly anyway, and I think I'm having more of an influence on you than vice versa."

They both smiled at that.

"I, obviously, did become one of those girls who hung with the wrong crowd and all of that, but that was different. You may be... umm different? but you're not one of those kids. I'm not really sure where to place you, but that's something else I like about you. I'm not trying to repeat my actions, if I was then I wouldn't be talking to you or Willow or any of them. I'd shun away from that if I were." Buffy took a deep breath. "But, this really isn't the point I'm trying to get at. My defense about us is for another place and time. I'm very thankful for our very odd friendship though, and I do want you to know that. If people actually took the time to look deeper, they'd get that. But I don't can't and wouldn't want to force that, it'd be utterly ridiculous. But right, my point..."

Buffy was silent for a moment, trying to stop the small shake her body had started to take on. Thankfully, it wasn't noticeable. She started to wonder if it was just an emotional one because of that then too. But once she got back under control she smiled and prepared to start again.

"My Mother, for the split second she had time to, expressed her... anger, worry, whatever about it. I can deal with that. When I get the chance to, I'll be able to explain what have you and honestly she'll probably be gratful to you in the end, too." Buffy looked towards the library door, wondering how fast she could get there and how fast he'd catch up to her. "So really the phone call has nothing to do with anything," Buffy said, looking back towards him, "Why my Mom had only a split second however, does. I just couldn't come right over here and say 'hey, guess what? It happened again."

She knew she didn't have to clarify 'it' to him.

She sat there, watching as his thoughts and emotions ran rapidly through him. When the one she was waiting for came, she continued. "Don't," she demanded, shaking her head. "You weren't the reason, you were just the excuse."

The next set came and once more, she waited for the right one. "I wasn't mad at you, I wasn't upset with you. I know you thought that, but I wasn't. I'm not happy that you know, especially not now, not soon. I'll be even unhappier when it starts spreading like wildfire. This is a small town, Angel, and I know better than to think I can hide it forever. I won't always come running to you and I really don't want to talk about it yet. I will, I'll promise that again, but it wasn't the other day, it wasn't yesterday and it won't be today."

Buffy wanted nothing more than to bail right now, but that wasn't an option.

"I said you weren't the excuse and you were sorry, Angel. I don't want that. Don't feel sorry for me and don't pity me. Don't lecture me, I've heard it all before. If you want to be angry, if you want to yell at me or avoid me, if you want to look at me and agree that I'm weak and stupid... or whatever else, go for it. But at least do it for the right not tell someone, why not get help... something along those lines is the question you want answered most. And that, I will give you." Buffy took a few more deep breaths as her uneasiness came back, almost flooding her with its sickness. "When it started, how it was before... whatever, you can have another day, but let's just say I was that stupid little girl. I was that stupid little girl who thought she had a good reason to cover. I did it all. It happened once, it won't again. I was the one to blame, if only I'd do better or not do this or... I didn't... I wanted to protect him," she said with a bitter laugh. "Name it, at some point I probably had the excuse in my head for it at some point. Time went on, it changes and for some reason, I was still a stupid little girl. I didn't have the excuses like before, yet I hid and dealt. I did for a long time, too. I reached the point though, the one where I couldn't take anymore. Afraid or not, I just couldn't... I faced the facts and said the Hell with it basically. I tried to get help, but what good is it when Mom covers and Dawn's too afraid to do anything? What good is it then, when after all this time and energy into hiding it pays off and no one's really there to stand up with you? Some knew, even with my wonderful skills, but that didn't help... that's for another time, too. But yeah, the universe hated me or maybe he somehow knew, I don't know. But I was dubbed just a kid looking for attention. I was just acting out. So on, so forth. That is what I eventually came, too. But yeah, that's what was decided. I tried too late I guess, no help came. I was sent back home."

Buffy paused and hung her head down, feeling the tears beginning to sting.

Despite the tears, she looked up at him as hard as she could. "Wanna know what happened next?"

Angel leaned forward and gently wrapped his arms around her, picking her up with the upmost caution and care, and brought her down across his lap. "When you feel ready too, only then. I think we can both agree that's not right now," he whispered as she curled up into his body.

He really didn't care about anything else, where they were, what display they were giving off. He really wasn't aware of it, either. All he knew was he wanted to comfort her and that he needed to calm down.

He hoped having her back in his arms would provide something for that.

His breathing was harsh and his anger was coming off in thick waves, but the tiniest bit of him felt better with her there.

He really didn't know how to answer her. It was yes and no. No because he didn't want to know, he didn't think he'd be able to handle whatever she would say next. Wrapping his head around the idea of anyone hurting her was too much. But on the other hand he did, he had to know. He needed to know so he could help her. He wanted her to open up and tell him for that reason and was glad she trusted him enough thus far, but he knew she wasn't ready to push any boundaries where she'd only hurt herself more. Right now, he figured that's where they'd be heading.

Avoiding it for now seemed like a good of a plan as any.

Anyone being abused, one way or another be in a friend, family member, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, and for this reason or that never seeked help, he took issue with. He never felt anything but anger and resentment for those people. She was right in her judgements, he'd looked at it as weak and stupid. He would in a bigger way then most, too. Given the show he'd seen, he didn't have a choice. But the fact that she'd tried to get help and then found herself being denied it... his stomach fell out and his heart had a sharp searing pain slice through it.

Angel found himself having a new appreciation for the girl, at the same time, the biggest heartache for her. He also found a deep connection with her.

The poor girl had needed help and not only was turned away from it, but no doubt about it, she was sent back into it and because of it, she ended up living a lot worse. She said she'd reached her breaking point, so anything after that... The fact that she survived this lifestyle and yet had been the happiest creature he'd ever seen scared him and besides that much, he wasn't sure how to feel about it. It was like there was some sort of calm then she disaster hit and how was she to respond to that? This time, the last, the next?

His head hurt.

On top of everything else, not only did authorities not help her, but she was left to hang. Her Mother and sister didn't help her and apparently no one else did either. Not that she told him flat out, but he got the meaning, her friends and family who happened to know just left her. Her telling him anything seemed a whole lot bigger now. Hell, even her talking to him or anyone in general did.

This was all just too damn much. Questions, thoughts, and emotions ran rapidly through him. He was dizzy and feeling sick from it even.

Angel looked over the small form curled up on his lap and pulled her closer, his arms wrapping around her tighter. The urge to protect her was blinding, as was his anger and for the moment she tilted her head up and their eyes locked, so was his love for her.

Her head went back down, tucking neatly and pressing into his chest as he let that sink in.

He wasn't falling anymore. He'd landed. In a very big way.

'This is not good.'

Angel just sighed and closed his eyes, shutting out the world even more. He wasn't ready to deal with it right now.

OoOoO

Angel closed his book, unable to concentrate. This was becoming quite a serious habit for him he realized.

He thought about walking down to the Espresso Pump, but had a few doubts about that being the right thing.

He wasn't sure Buffy wanted to see him right now, not so soon.

She didn't act like it or anything, but if he put himself in her shoes... well, he already knew the answer to that. Also, he did cause a scene there already.

If he planned to go there he knew he'd probably have to ask Connor to come with him for a bit of damage control or something. Then there was the fact of her mother, who he knew already didn't like him, and he wasn't her biggest fan after today either.

Today didn't seem like the best for that plan.

Angel sighed and then grabbed for the bag that contained his new cell phone. He still couldn't believe he'd went to buy one as Jenny was across the street finally getting her car back. But he had.

He knew that if Buffy hadn't brought it up and told him he should have one, he probably never would have thought about it. He did kind of like the idea though.

More so after their discussion earlier, too.

Giving up on his book, Angel got up and headed out into the living room to see what his other family members were doing.

OoOoO

For dinner, Connor talked Jenny to order in some pizza and so they all sat around the living room enjoying it along with a rental movie. Angel was thankful it wasn't one he'd seen before so it could somewhat help get his mind distracted. Also, it kept Connor from talking, which was always a plus.

Since he'd realized tomorrow was the beginning of October, he'd been hellbent on getting him to ask Buffy to the Halloween dance. As long as he stayed on her good side, that was.

Angel didn't exactly shun the idea though he didn't think he was actually going to do it.

When the movie came to its end, he hurried to clean up and go head to take a shower. Maybe afterwards he hoped he could get back to his homework he thought.

OoOoO

Angel woke up in the middle of the night as his nightmares haunted him once again.

He sat up shakingly, trying to find his lamp and control his breathing the best he could. Of course, it had to give him trouble again.

After finally getting the damn thing on, he sat there for a few moments. His mind racing with memories he wanted nothing more than to forget.

He reached down and grabbed his lighter and another cigarette, as usual, and tried to prepare himself for the walk outside.

Tonight wasn't as bad as it got, but he felt the need for one nonetheless.

Angel quietly stepped out of his room and into the hall. It took him a moment to notice the tiny bit of light already coming from the living room. When he reached it, he found Jenny sitting in her chair, watching the television on almost mute. "Jen? You alright?"

At the sound of his voice, she jumped and her hand went to her chest. "Angel!"

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"No, no it's okay. Yeah, I'm fine. Just couldn't sleep. I think I woke up for the fourth time before coming out here," she said then paused. "What are you doing up?"

Angel held up his cancer stick with a shrug.

"Oh," she frowned.

"Yeah," he said then started towards the front door.

Jenny hesitated for a moment. "You still have the same nightmares?" she asked softly.

"Yeah. Not every night any more, but close." Angel opened the door, then the screen. He sighed and stood there for a few seconds."I killed two people that night, Jen. Wouldn't you?"

And with that he walked out, closing them behind him.

Angel walked out into the yard and lit up, staring up into the night sky.

For some reason, it helped. Even if the tiniest bit.

Jenny sighed inside, rubbing her eyes for a moment. She wished to hell and back she knew how to help her nephew.

OoOoO

When he came back inside, Jenny asked him if he felt better and if he needed anything. He shook his head, softly saying he was a little better and was going to try and get back to sleep.

Jenny opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came.

Instead, she just watched him head back towards the hallway.


	8. Chapter Eight

Buffy's felt her face light up as Angel produced a cell phone in front of her face and she started to chuckle at him. "And where exactly did this come from?"

Angel shrugged then closed his locker, "Got it yesterday while Jen was busy getting her car back."

"Uh huh."

"Yeah... I just thought.. you know... in case of an emergency... or something..." They both knew what he meant by that and she felt her heart burst a little from happiness at his small gesture.

"Uh huh," Buffy finally repeated as she played around on his phone while they walked through the hall. "I think you just want more time with me."

Angel chuckled. "That too."

Buffy beamed at him. She was more or less back to her old self today. They were both happy for that.

Nothing had happened again so far, though she knew it would, but she didn't dwell on it. At least not right now.

She still hurt a lot, but she was slowly getting back used to it. She'd also felt weird about yesterday and wasn't sure what to do, but when she went to grab him for lunch that all disappeared.

OoOoO

"Well, hello all," Buffy greeted the gang as they reached them and sat down.

Everyone began exchanging their hello's, how are yous, how's your day gone so far and such.

Yep. It was all slowly getting there.

"You know.. you can talk to them," Buffy said, leaning closer to him. She had a small chuckle in her voice as she said it.

"I did talk."

"I mean.. really talk. Not one word answers that I have to pry out of you."

"Maybe I have nothing to say."

"After years of silence, everyone has something to say, kid."

Angel grumbled something at her then looked away. Buffy sighed then joined in with whatever Jesse was saying.

OoOoO

"Angel? What are you doin' this weekend?"

"Jesus, not again," he groaned and rolled his eyes up to the sky, causing everyone at the table to either smirk or let out a chuckle.

Buffy gave him a pout then playfully smacked him on the arm.

"What are you going to try and drag me to next?"

"Hmph. Well, if you're going to behave like that.. I just won't invite you."

He stared at her for a moment.

"Mmm, instead.. I think I'll just find a replacement."

"Buffy..."

"Yeah, that sounds like an excellent plan to me."

"Buffy..."

Buffy's face grew more and more animated as they continued.

It was back and forth between him fishing for the information about whatever he'd complained about and she just dismissed him and kept getting more excited by plans she spoke of when they came to mind, without giving too much away, but enough. The evidence of that all over his face.

She really didn't have any plans besides helping out at the coffee shop and was probably going to start painting it up and stuff, but she knew he didn't know that. She knew he didn't know that really she was just going to invite him to help or to just go over to his house sometime during and bug him for awhile. More importantly, she now knew she had to think of something and make him hear all about it.

She knew she wouldn't exactly be having a social life for awhile, at least not until he was back out of town and she wouldn't have to worry about her Mother and Dawn. She tried not to let it get her down too much. She knew she could get around it enough to keep her happy. And this was shaping up to be a great help in that.

"Oh, right. So since we've covered you're not being... what was it? dragged out anywhere with me? Something like that..." she smirked, "what will you be doing this weekend, Angel?"

"You enjoy this far too much."

"I really do."

OoOoO

The bell had rung, and they were gathering up all of their things when Buffy looked over at him. "So... Connor's like my age right?"

"About it, yeah," he replied, not really paying attention at that moment while Buffy smirked.

"Huh. How about that?" Buffy paused for a moment. "Does he.. you know.. ever.. talk about me?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

He clearly wasn't getting her meaning, which made her smile grow and she held back a laugh as she reached down for backpack.

"Think he'd you know.. want to.. like.. go out with me?"

"What?"

It took all of her willpower not to laugh as she glanced at him.

She was glad she had her hair down as it shielded her straining face and she could peek out some towards him as he stared wide eyed at her, looking a little angry, a little pale, a little jealous and a little disbelieving.

She just found it humorous.

"You want to... go out with Connor?"

She did her best to control herself as she straightened up and shrugged, then pushed her hair behind both of her ears. "I gave it some thought I guess. I mean, he is pretty cute and all and..."

His eyes got wider as he listened and he dumbly followed as she started walking towards the computer lab. He didn't know what to think or feel. It was a whole new nightmare playing before his eyes.

Right before they walked through the door, Buffy stopped him. "Angel, you look like you're going to be sick."

He nodded in response. He felt like he was going to be too.

She chuckled a bit then leaned closer to him. "You do know I'm only kidding right?"

"Huh?"

"I'm joking," she said and smiled. Then she walked inside with an amused glance back toward him before saying hello to Jenny.

She refused to let herself feel anything other than amusement at his reaction. Happiness, triumph, hope.. things like that were out of the question.

Also out of the question was wondering why she even started with it. She hadn't wanted to know what his reaction, either way, would have been. Yet, she pushed to find it all of a sudden.

Then there was his reaction.. and she didn't want to know or think about any of it. Nothing good could come out of asking or thinking about it. No answer would make her life easier either way. Or change her mind.

The problem was her heart wanted to have a mind all of it's own. And it really didn't enjoy being ignored.

OoOoO

A smile played across Angel's face as he watched her heading deeper into the room.

After the shock wore off anyway. And he let out a huge sight of relief that almost knocked him over due to it and a mixture of a lot of emotions that had just gone through him.

Right now, he was just glad and relieved.

Buffy didn't like Connor, which was a good thing. And she apparently knew he was unhappy with the idea and that she'd wanted to find out if that would be his reaction. It was a guess, an assumption, but it was enough.

No words were said, but a look and a laugh were shared as he sat down. Then Jenny started the class and things went back to normal.

OoOoO

"So you're still not going to tell me?"

This was the third time now. Buffy couldn't help laugh as she gathered the last of her things. "Nope."

Angel sighed and gave her his best sad puppy dog look. She gripped onto her resolve as she looked at him then started laughing some more.

As they just made it out the door, she felt her phone start to vibrate again. It had started a few minutes ago and had yet to let up. She grabbed for it out of her pocket and flipped it open. "Hey."

"Are you alright?"

Angel couldn't make out any of the words and could hardly hear the voice, but it sounded like a male.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, I was out of town for a few days and I came home to two messages from Dawn from your phone. She was in hysterics just about, more on the first one. As soon as I heard that, I wanted to check in on you."

"Oh. I didn't know she did that. Ugh, I guess I can assume if she called you, she probably called someone else too. Especially if you were unavailable. Just great," she muttered. "Anyway, yeah I'm fine, everything's peachy."

"Liar."

"Okay, true, but it's as good as it's gonna get. I'm in school though, about to reach my next class. Umm.. I have gym next, sitting out again, I may be able to call you back then."

"Sure."

"Alright. Don't worry about me kid. It's under control," she said with a smile and found herself ending the call just as they reached the door. Buffy gave Angel a reassuring smile and headed inside.

OoOoO

"Hey Angel, you wouldn't mind driving me tonight would ya?" Buffy asked as they exited the class.

"Hmm. Of course not," he replied with a smile even though he was digging through his bag while walking all at the same time.

"You're gonna run into something," she told him, amused. "And I was thinking that I could just go straight to your house and hang out."

He looked over at her and his smile brightened. "Sure."

Buffy smiled back. "Good. You sure Jenny won't mind though..."

"Would you really expect her to?" he asked wryly and made her laugh.

OoOoO

During her Gym class, Buffy returned her phone call then called her mother next, saying she didn't need a ride, she was heading over to a friend's after school. She didn't ask which friend and Buffy didn't tell. After that, she just sat around, trying to come up with a plan for the weekend.

But by the time the bell rang, she only had a few ideas, none that were good enough. She sighed and gathered the few things she'd brought with her, then headed for the library.

OoOoO

After the last bell had let out, Angel and Buffy had walked through the halls to Jenny's classroom before they left. He no longer was her ride, but he stopped in to see if she needed help with anything before he left.

She didn't so he told her Buffy was going to be over for awhile then was planning to leave when Connor joined the room.

He groaned as he had to watch Connor's face flash with wickedness as he was told. More so when he was told to get a ride with Jenny instead.

The two of them left the room with him yelling behind him how he just wanted the house to himself so he could be alone with her. Which wasn't a lie, but he didn't want everyone else to be so aware of it.

Buffy thankfully, just laughed it off and dragged him away from the room as he'd started to turn back. Violence in mind.

OoOoO

Buffy sat her bag down on Angel's bed then turned to him, a sly smile in place. "Angel? Since you and me are here.. all alone.. together like this," she said seductively, taking a few steps toward him, "we should.. make the best of it, you know.." her hand reached out to play with his shirt as she batted her eyes at him.

Angel swallowed, very hard and very loudly.

"Wanna know what I think we should do?" she reached up to kiss him briefly before pulling back, a new tone and look on her face. "Totally go through Jenny and Connor's things," she said brightly, her eyes wide and her eyebrows raising. "What else could I mean?" she slapped his chest where she'd just been toying with his shirt then laughed.

They didn't end up invading his family member's privacy though, instead he got them some snacks, showed her around the house some, then they put in a movie.

It was only five or so minutes in when Jenny and Connor arrived though, and in order to annoy him, Connor suggest they come out into the living room and they could all watch it together.

Once again, she had to hold him back from a violent reaction.

It turned out not to be so bad though. Halfway through the movie, Buffy turned away from the screen and into his chest, burying herself there. He quickly lost what little interest he'd had in it and focused his everything on her.

Connor looked back and smirked, sharing amused eyes with Jenny before doing his own best to concentrate on the flick instead of those two, who happened to be more interesting.

When it ended, Jenny stood up and said she was going to start dinner, inviting Buffy to join. This time she agreed.

Connor hopped up into the chair she'd been sitting in and looked at the two lovebird, still locked in with each other. "So.. what did you two think of the movie?"

Buffy chuckled. "It was the bestest ever!"

OoOoO

At dinner, they all sat around talking, mostly learning more about Buffy. Thankfully, Angel steered away from certain questions for her and everything would go into a different direction, one she could handle and enjoyed. Angel enjoyed it too, seeing as he really didn't know the girl at all still.

He however did not enjoy his younger siblings not so subtle hints that he needed to ask her out that seemed to pop up at least once every five to ten minutes.

When she finally got the idea, and saw how close Angel was to strangling him, Buffy hopped in to get him off of his case, bringing up her thoughts and opinions about Jeeves.. err, Giles. About how she thought the two of them should get together.

It seemed to do the trick.

She was glad for that. Not only because she didn't want to see Angel start choking the life from his brother, but also for fear Connor was right with some of the things he said. She didn't want to think about that and sure didn't want him to either. She knew that whatever it was between them wasn't that hard to see.. but what was laying beneath wasn't so obvious. Like the fact she was in love with him and he could never know that. That they could never be. Even if for some strange reason that was what he wanted as well.

She learned to deal with it though, like she'd done with everything else life had thrown at her. And she didn't mind. Angel was in her life, that was all she seemed to need right now.

OoOoO

Later that evening, after Buffy had left, Connor went immediately into his get Buffy and Angel together mode. Connor really didn't see what the big deal was. They liked each other, very simple. Very obvious. He had zero doubt that Buffy would even think about saying no.. if only he could get his dumbass brother to ask. And if he would, then everyone could be happy. So why not?

He knew he was worried, which was normal. He had plenty of reasons to be.

Angel didn't date, obviously again. He briefly had before their move, but never anything that was serious. No where near it either. After that, he became what he did and dating was quite clearly not going to be in the picture.

Connor wondered if he ever would, until she showed up anyway. So yes, there was one concern. How Angel tended to view himself was another.. but he could just get over that. And, if he did as told, she'd get him to, too.

Then there was the fact that if he so chose to get involved and serious with her, yeah yeah, he'd have to tell her all his deep and dark secrets. And that guy sure had a shitload of them. But, it wasn't the end of the world.

Everyone had them. Buffy had them. He knew that, too. He just didn't know what they were but when he thought about it, he had just a slightest idea after the earlier events between his brother and her. And in the end, that could even help. Problems at home, something they could all identify with.

Connor did doubt he should just out and say it to her one day, that wasn't the way to go. But, it didn't mean he couldn't later. When the time was right. Not that there's exactly a right time to say hey here's my tramatic experiences in life.. but still.

There were three approaches to handle that situation. One, tell her before. Two, try the damn dating thing out, get to know each other better, and when the closest thing to a right time pops up.. take it. And three, just don't tell her at all.

All three could end badly, sure. But the second take seemed to be the best, easiest and less painful way to go.

Angel still argued.

"So what, you're just going to never date or have any sort of relationship due to the fact you're afraid they can't handle the skeletons in your closet? That's bullshit."

"That's the plan."

"You honestly think that everyone would act so ridiculous? Especially her? I don't know Buffy that well, neither do you, but I can't see her reaction being your monsterous idea of it. In fact, I think, if you two got to know each other better and you explained the damn thing, I think she would understand. Okay, maybe not understand.. exactly.. but I think she could at least handle it."

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because you like her, in fact, I think you might even already be in love with her. Same goes for her. And I would honestly hate it if you just let that slide between your fingers without a good enough reason."

Angel sighed and lifted his hands to rub his eyes. Connor was far too irritating right now for him.

"Ask her out. Just a date even. Dinner a movie, both. Ask her to the dance, before someone else does at that. Do something. Get to know her, let her get to know you. Slowly start telling her things and when the truth comes out, it won't be so bad. And on top if it, I think you should tell her just so that you tell someone," he blurted.

Angel narrowed his eyes. "I told you. I told police, I've told judges, and by force, I even told a few quacks."

"Okay, maybe I should rephrase that. You should talk to someone about it. Her. That's something you haven't done."

Angel sighed again. "Ever stop to think that maybe she just doesn't want to go out with me to begin with?"

Connor didn't hesitate. "No."

"Think about it," Angel said, leaning back more comfortably, though that was everything he was not. He didn't know why he was even engaging in this conversation. He and Connor didn't talk. "If she wanted to, don't you think she'd ask or say something about it? Wouldn't you expect her to just invite herself to a date?"

As he continued, Connor began to do as told. He did think about it. And unfortunantely, his brother had a point. He knew most of Angel's, but what was her reasonings?

He didn't agree with that she didn't because she didn't like him, that just wasn't possible. But something was. He just had no idea what that could be. "Maybe she's.. shy?" he said lamely.

Angel scoffed. "Yeah, sure. That girl's real shy."

Connor then really didn't know what to think. And he ended up spending most of the time before he went to bed wondering about it.

By the time he went into his deep sleep, he made up his mind he was going to find out though.

OoOoO

Buffy had just left her first class, partying ways with Xander as she headed the other direction, when she heard someone calling for her. She whipped around in the direction she thought it was coming from and looked around, finally landing on Connor as he approached. Buffy smiled at him and gave a small wave. "Hey."

"Hey," he greeted her back, "Who you got next again?"

"Post."

"Oh, good. I'm only a few doors down from her, can I walk ya?"

She laughed, noticing a wicked gleam in his eyes that he was doing his best to hide. "I'm thinking I might regret this... but sure."

He smiled. "I just wanna ask..talk to you about something."

"Oh, boy. What is it?"

"Nothing bad. I was just wondering... about you and my brother."

"Uh huh?"

"You know, what's, well, going on with you two?"

Buffy widened her eyes a bit, narrowed them next, and finally she shrugged. "I didn't know anything was, well, nothing new anyway."

Connor decided maybe to just be blunt. They didn't have that much time between classes, certainly not left on this walk. "Do you like him?"

"I thought that was obvious," she said with a chuckle.

"No, I mean... like him, like him."

"Oh." 'Where's all this coming from?' she wondered as they continued to walk a little more in silence, uncomfortable silence.

"Well?" he asked softly.

She drew a deep breath. "Sure I do, but... I'm not trying to... I don't plan for... you know... anything... between... no.."

Connor's eyes bore into her, not that she noticed, she was too busy staring blankly at the ground. "So you wouldn't want to... have a relationship with him?"

Buffy looked up, for a moment at him before looking at the doorway. They'd just arrived in from her next class. "It's not a matter of want Connor... more of something of can't. But anyway... here I am so.." she gave a small smile his way then hurried inside.

Connor stood watching her for a moment then went to his own, his mind filled with even more questions and determination to get to the bottom of everything.

OoOoO

Buffy sighed as she exited, Connor catching back up with her seconds later. He was going to speak but she cut him off before he could utter more than a starting sound. "Connor, it's a complicated thing. I like your brother, yes. A lot, more than I wish I did, but it's not that simple. If you look at the facts and think about it hard enough you can see a million reasons why it just shouldn't happen."

"You don't exactly seem to be a think before you do kind of girl," he pointed out.

She sighed. "Maybe not always," she agreed, "but I am sometimes. Sometimes when it's important, too. Like about this."

"And why was this something you needed to think so hard about?"

"There's only so much pain a girl can take," she said quietly.

"You think Angel would hurt you?" he asked surprised, shocked, a little angry.. among other things.

"Not in a physical way, no. That thought never crossed my mind. But there's many other ways to hurt someone, and I think me and him would bring some whole new meanings to that term."

OoOoO

Before getting to her next class Connor made her promise to explain herself more. He needed her to because he felt no closer to an answer. One he needed.

If she did have a good reason, then so be it. If not, he just wanted to see his brother happy for once again. Really happy. The happiness he was only with her.

They were both giving him a headache.

OoOoO

When the bell for lunch rang, Buffy wasn't sure to go get Angel or go find Connor. She hadn't seen him again.

She went to her locker, exchanging a few things then finally decided that Angel was probably the safer of the two, so she started off his way. She did keep her eyes peeled as she walked, after stopping to check with Willow, for the younger Angelus boy though.

She wondered about what he was doing, where it'd come from now. Before it was all fun and games, mostly, but he looked quite serious.

Buffy wondered if he knew how thin of a line he was walking. How thin of one they all were.

'Everything's just gotta be complicated, doesn't it?'

OoOoO

Connor found the group outside right in the middle of a torment Willow session about her on going crush on Oz. They were still working on that.

Buffy noticed him and smiled, asking him if he wanted to join. Hoping too that he wasn't going to do his regular style of question, much like she would, all out in public and in front of Angel especially. Just to annoy him.

Connor smiled and instead asked if he could talk with her. Buffy nodded and quickly looked around the table, not missing Angel's curious and a hint of anger glare.

She mentally chuckled as she realized she was about to leave him alone with her friends. 'Thank God for small favors,' she thought and hurried up, leaving with Connor.

Buffy did check back once, seeing their faces as they also realized what she only had. When she actually laughed out loud, he asked what was so funny and she explained.

Connor got a kick out of it, too.

Buffy threw her now empty can of soda she'd snatched up into the closest trashcan then looked Connor over. All these questions he had, coming from Willow they'd suddenly seemed easier than they did with him.

"You seem to care an awful lot about this," she finally commented.

"I like you and, despite popular belief, I sometimes like him as well. And I really wouldn't mind having my brother back to normal again. You make him happy," he shrugged. "And anyone can see that you two like each other. Seems to make sense.."

"Just because two people 'like' each other doesn't mean they should be together," she with a sigh.

OoOoO

"One, I'm not good at relationships. I haven't been in very many, nothing serious, and there's a good reason for that. Two, Behind a bubbly personality and a lot of huge smiles, there's a lot of hidden monsters in me and in my life. Yes, Angel more obviously has his, too. But there's a big part to this reason in that. Two dark clouds clashing can end up in an intense, vicious storm. And I don't see it being a clash, a storm, one that passes to clear out to a sunny day in the end. It's just too much. Three, I have a nice friendship with your brother. One that I don't want ruined by making it more. It's going to end anyway, I get that, sure, but why make it worse? And four, He's a senior, Connor. Summer's comes and he's going to leave."

And they talked for another few minutes then said she'd probably get back.

"I wouldn't have it in me to say no, but I don't think him asking is something I really have to worry about. Anyway, those are the short answers. For an actual full fledge one, you're gonna have to ask me about later. Away from school, away from him, and when there's alot of damn time. And probably when I know you a little better for my dark side. He knows the tip of the iceburg, and that's already too much."

OoOoO

"Hey," Buffy said brightly as she returned.

"God, he wasn't asking you about the dance was he?" Angel groaned. He'd spent the past few minutes thinking about whatever she and Connor might be talking about. And he even found himself almost conversation even in her absence when he wasn't fretting.

It was all very odd.

Buffy gave him a surprised look. "Dance? What dance?"

"Uh... nothing?"

Buffy looked around the table as he kicked himself as well as again wondering what else could it have been about. "What dance?" she asked again.

The rest of the lunch was spent getting information out about the Halloween dance and learning about it. Her mind going into work as she heard the news. Angel already looked nervous, which was hilarious. Buffy knew that she probably wasn't going to be able to go, but she could still have fun with it. Hell, she thought she could still get him to go. If not, just trying was usually fun on its own.

'Maybe I should hook him up with someone else,' she thought given Connor's argument with her earlier with the sense she was trying to give him with her reasons why she couldn't be together with his brother. The stabbing in her heart as she said it in her head didn't help though.

She also would get the chance to up Willow and Oz's relationship, something that had the redhead looking nervous as well when she mentioned it.

Buffy could live with this.

She smiled and let her mind go to work. She did still have to think of a plan for the weekend still, but was empty on ideas. If all else failed she was just not going to say anything about it and let Angel draw up his own conclusion.

At least she had something to keep her entertained for the duration of the weekend though. If nothing else came up, get Angel back plans or otherwise, it should hold she guessed.

OoOoO

Connor had his own thinking to do as well. Things weren't exactly going as he planned, but he was very determined to get them on track.

Angel had reasons, Buffy had reasons, but from where he stood, they were easy to get past. And they needed to.

Whether they knew it or not.


	9. Chapter Nine

Angel waited another hour after he got home before going down to The Espresso Pump.

He didn't much care for not knowing what Connor was up to and he liked it even less when it distracted him.

He sat there shocked as Buffy hurried up as the last bell rang, telling Giles to have a great weekend, then yelling back to him he'd see her on Monday. He cursed under his breath from that moment on, through helping Jenny get ready to go and all the way back home. Then he thought 'like hell' and decided to go down the street and hope she was there.

When he walked in, it only took a few moments of scanning the room to find her. She was sitting at a booth with a younger girl, laughing about something. He was trying to knock down his nerves as he took a step towards her when the door behind him open and he heard Connor's voice. He didn't have to turn around to know the kid was smirking, it was quite clear in his voice.

It just irritated him more.

"What are you doing?" he growled.

Connor ignored him and started walking, "Hey Buff!" he called and she looked up, surprised for a moment before smiling at him, then back at Angel, who she had to wave at in order to get him to move. "What's up?" Connor asked, slipping in beside Buffy. He tilted his head to look at his brother, knowing how bad he wanted to kill him right now. It took all his inner strength not to laugh hysterically. He nodded to the spot in front of him, beside the unknown girl. "Have a seat bro."

Buffy chuckled at his expression. "Hey Connor, Angel, this is Dawn," she said, pointing to her little sister. "Dawnie, these are some friends of mine from school."

"Hi," she said a little shyly then scooted over a bit in the booth, gesturing it was okay for Angel to sit.

He fidgeted for a long pause then nervously sat down, feeling insanely uncomfortable. Knowing it was Buffy's sister both unnerved him more and made him feel a little better about it all at the same time.

"What are you guys doing here?"

Connor shrugged. "Guess we came to say hi."

"Um.. yeah," Angel pitched in then looked up as a nervous waitress came over. When she jumped, even if he wasn't glaring at her, he quickly lowered his eyes and mumbled something under his breath that no one was able to make out.

Buffy laughed and told her she'd like a refill, asked Dawn if she wanted anything else, then Connor ordered for both himself and Angel. Much to the waitresses delight, too.

"Why'd you do that?" Dawn asked as she left.

"Do what?"

Buffy stepped in and laughed. "Angel's just not very good with people sometimes," she smiled, "but we're working on that."

"He didn't even shoot her 'the look'!"

"I say that's an improvement, wouldn't you?"

"Most certainly."

Angel instead glared at the both of them and mumbled some more.

"So Dawn, tell us about yourself, about her, too. Any juicy details or stories we should know?" Connor asked hopeful.

Dawn's eyes lit up and she gave a bright smile. "Oh, yeah."

Buffy groaned.

Dawn was about half way through her life story, one in which there were already three Buffy related stories branched off from, when Joyce came out to find her daughters, spotting them at a table with the two brothers.

She watched them for a few moments then went over there. The look on Buffy's face as she spotted her gave it away. One of the two had to be this Liam Angelus fellow. She was unsure how to feel about that.

"You girls alright?" she asked as she was close enough, now getting all of their attention.

"Yep," Dawn said brightly, "These are some friends of Buffy's," she said without thinking. It was only a second after they came out did she remember the other night, the split second before hell broke loose and all.. 'Great.'

Connor held his hand out. "Hi, I'm Connor Angelus."

Joyce took it and smiled at him. "Nice to meet you, and you," she said looking at the other strange man, "must be Liam. I'm Joyce, Buffy and Dawn's mother."

"You would be correct," Angel tried not to grit out. "Nice to meet you as well."

Buffy smiled nervously. "Everything's fine, Mom. Was there something you wanted?"

"I was just checking... oh, and I did want to ask you if you were still helping out some this weekend."

"Sure," she said quickly, wanting her mother to go away as fast as possible. Buffy didn't really have all that many problems with her Mother, besides the obvious, but she didn't like how this one had a potential to become another one.

"Hmm. Okay, well... I'll.. get back to work," she said, looking the boys over again before leaving.

Buffy sighed and shared a knowing look with Dawn then they both rolled their eyes.

"Alright, so now we've met you, your sister and your mother.. when do we get to..."

Angel kicked him. Hard.

Connor stopped and glared at him, but Angel's was much harder. And different, too. It shut him up quickly.

A first.

OoOoO

"So you're a sophomore like Buffy?" Dawn asked and he nodded. She looked toward Angel, "What about you?" She'd easily grown more comfortable with him, another strange thing in Angel's world. And he was slowly doing the same.

It was all very bizarre.

"Umm no, I'm a senior."

"Hmm. Guess that explains it," she said, almost sing-song like.

He gave her a strange look. "Explains what?"

"Just that my sister likes to talk about you, yet she's not all throwing herself at you," she said with a shrug.

"Dawn!" Buffy shrieked.

Buffy, Dawn, Angel & Connor all sat there with wide eyes, all for their own different reason.

"What?" Dawn asked with the tiniest hint of a smirk.

Angel asked the same thing, his body turning some in the seat to get a better look at Buffy's sister after she slipped that bit of information out. His tone however had been completely different than hers.

Connor was just surprised. That had been quite unexpected, but thinking about it, and having gotten to know Buffy, he figured it shouldn't have. That maybe that was just some Summers family trait they got going on. Either way, he was glad for it. And the look on both Buffy and Angel's faces were priceless.

Buffy could agree with Connor on the trait part, and she could think of a few hundred reasons as to why she cursed it. Constantly. This moment, example A. "Shut up, Dawn!"

"What? What'd I do?"

Buffy didn't believe that innocent act for a moment. She knew her sister better than that. She also knew that right now she was giving Willow quite a run for her money when it came to the ability to blush.

Finally she just let her head fall into her hands, unable to face any of this right now.

Dawn's attention left Buffy and went to Connor, who she smiled at, then finally she got back to Angel. Dawn really didn't know much about the guy, Buffy just mentioned him... a lot, without giving much info. Her diary had been some help, but Buffy usually kept it hidden like a precious gem or something. She found it quite annoying. But, even so, she'd decided she liked the guy and she was pretty sure that the look crossing his face right now wasn't one normally seen. It almost had her bursting out in laughter too.

She could easily tell that dropped bit of info had an effect on the older man beside her. And everything he was dealing with, thinking about was showing clear as day in those brown eyes of his.

Dawn smiled., ready to finally answer him. "Buffy doesn't date seniors," she said simply with a small shrug. "I guess it just kind of made sense to me once you said that." Them, as an afterthought, she added, "Though, she doesn't really date anyway." And again she shrugged.

"Oh." Angel really didn't know what to say. Slowly his eyes went back to Buffy for a moment, then they lowered into his almost empty glass.

"But," Dawn started again, "if you ask me, sounds like she likes you enough to let that all slide."

"Dawn!" Buffy almost screamed.

Angel's eyes went back to Buffy, who looked away in a rush, then they went back to her sister.

"And why exactly would your sister not date high school seniors?" Connor got out before Angel could. Though he already knew, but that was beside the point.

Angel's eyes went across the table to him, but he still did not say anything. They flew back to Dawn as she started to answer.

OoOoO

The younger siblings were engaged in a convertation with each other, about the older two. About bits of information about each, their issues and why they should both get past them and get together. Both utterly embarrassing their sibling half.

Buffy sat there contemplating, not for the first time in her life, but for the first time in a long while, and probably never so hard as she was now, if someone could actually die from embarassment. Or, if it could be used somehow to justify a violent crime on her young sibling.

And Angel's mind was still a train wreck. And he was trying to fight the urge to blurt out something very stupid, like anything and everything he could think of to get her to change her mind. Something he knew he shouldn't even be thinking about doing, this was supposed to help support his cause. But no, once again, the tables turned on him.

Angel had wasted plenty of his time and effort to coming up with the many reasons why they could never be, why he couldn't go jumping into a relationship with the girl who'd stolen his heart. He came up with them for her, for Connor and for himself. Now he wanted to toss them out the window and hers too.

It wasn't good.

OoOoO

When her Mom came over, asking her to go next door to the gallery and grab a few items she'd left, Buffy breathed a sigh of relief and jumped at the chance. Almost literally too, making Connor laugh as she all but trucked over him.

The only problem came was Angel.

She didn't exactly want to be left alone with him at the very moment, but she also didn't see leaving him with Connor and her sister would be that bright of an idea either. Finally she grabbed at his hand and tugged on him, telling him to come on.

She felt him starting to stand up after a pause, so turned and continued to tug, feeling him fall into step behind her. She faintly could hear Dawn starting to call something else out so started to move faster, almost knocking an old couple down along the way out.

Silently, they got out of the door and went to the next one, waiting as she unlocked it and opened the door for them both.

OoOoO

"You're being awfully quiet," Angel finally broke the silence as he watched her move around, searching for something or other.

Buffy stilled for a moment. "You almost sound worried."

Angel gave a tiny smile her way, which she returned.

"I think I just happened to like it more when it was Connor and you instead."

The sides of his mouth twisted up again. "I would imagine."

Buffy sighed then ran her hands through her hair. "Well, you can always look at it this way. At least you've got one less thing to worry about," she said as jokingly as she could before going back to business.

Angel didn't feel one bit relieved.

OoOoO

Long after they'd all parted ways, Angel laid out on his bed letting his thoughts continue to run rapid. He couldn't believe one girl could cause so much.. everything. In him, in anyone, but especially him. In eleven days time, too. But this girl sure had and it was driving him insane.

He wondered if the only reason why he now wanted to switch over to on the go for it team was because it was now out of his reach, but he knew that was untrue. He'd always wanted to, he just had, so he thought, good reasons behind it. Reasons he now didn't want to care about.

It was still as confusing as ever.

Angel wondered what she would say, should he get the nerve to ask her out or on a date or something of the sort. If she'd stick by her guns or if Dawn was right and she did like him more to let that stand in the way. And there was another biggy. Buffy liking him. A lot. Something he had a hard time wraping his mind around. He knew it should be obvious, but still yet, it never made sense to him.

Nothing about him and Buffy seemed to at any given point.

Angel rubbed his aching eyes and then got up, heading out down the hall to reheat some pizza up and give his mind a rest. Hopefully.

OoOoO

"Hey," Jenny said as she came through the door, finding Angel and Connor arguing with each other about something, Buffy she guessed more than likely, in the living room.

"Hey Jen, where'd you go? We got back and you were gone," Connor said after a quick glare his brother's way.

She smiled and held up a few bags as she brought them over the threshold. "Went shopping."

"Oh, got any more bags we can help with?"

"A few more, but I've got 'em. You can do me a huge favor and heat me some more pizza slices though," she smiled.

"You got it."

"Thanks."

He jumped up to go heat her up some, while she sat her bags down then went to go get the rest from the trunk. When she returned, she thanked him again the sat down, watching the show they had on, and the two boys as well.

OoOoO

"Well there is more to it than that."

Angel growled. "And how exactly would you know?" he asked, utterly irritated. Again.

"I asked her earlier," Connor simply replied.

"What are you talking about?"

"At lunch. I asked her why she wasn't asking you out, since you weren't going to, and well, you brought it up, I asked," he shrugged, ignoring his brother's anger rising through the roof, "There was that, her falling for you, you would leave and she'd be heartbroken."

Jenny's eyes widened some, this whole conversation after Connor had returned, waited a few minutes, then started back in sure was something else. She had a few things to say about it herself, but wasn't about to. Not even if her life depended on it.

"Um.. didn't want to ruin your friendship. Clashing of personalities, something about her hiding something.. ha, go figure. You two, match made in Heaven. Some other stuff about that.. um.. and some other stuff. Nothing I saw that should really stop her actually, but as it's been pointed out, you're both morons."

OoOoO

It was the middle of the night, Angel was fast asleep, when suddenly something woke him up. His eyes opened and his ears strained to find that noise again.

And after a few more moments it came to him.

Angel slowly reached his hand up and flicked on his light before turning over and sitting up. He stared over at his window, then finally got up and went over to it.

"Buffy?" he asked as he stared at her through his open window. 'Who else would that have been?'

"Hey," she nervously greeted, her arms folding over her chest as she stood bouncing on her feet a bit, "sorry.. it's really late and all.. and I probably should have just called.. or better yet, waited til later.." she laughed nervously some.

Angel yawned and waved it away sleepily. "Is everything okay?"

Her head nodded some. "Yeah, I mean I guess.. I just.." again she laughed, "I'm sorry for earlier I guess."

"Huh? Why?"

"My sister. Her big mouth. And well, everything after that.. I just.."

"How did you get here?" he asked, cutting her off.

"I walked."

"You walked?" he asked and she nodded. "Half way across town in the middle of the night? Jesus Christ. Go to the door and I'll let you in."

Buffy went to argue but again he cut her off, she sighed and did as told. In a few short moments he was leading her back to his room quietly.

"Really sorry..."

Angel shut the door and turned on his light, only now noticing how under dressed he was. He gave an embarrassed smile and tried not to blush as he hurried to grab some clothes quickly.

"Sorry," again she repeated though she didn't seem to be as much as she was the other two times as she drank him in. It almost made her forget about what she had come all this way here for. In more ways then one.

"It's fine. What are you doing here again?"

Buffy sighed. "I don't know. I just didn't like how things went earlier? I don't like things being.. weird.. between us. And I thought.. I should explain?"

"Buffy.."

"With you, it's more than that."

Angel stopped, stared and listened as Buffy did her best to explain.

OoOoO

Angel insisted on driving her back home, and after much arguing, she relented and both thanked and apologized for everything about a million times. After all, she did just wake the man up after walking half way across town just to tell him why she couldn't.. get involved.. with him. That alone was insane enough.

Angel watched as she walked toward her dark and looming house, checking over her shoulder to the spot he'd parked every few steps. He watched as she snuck gracefully back into her room via the tree outside of her window.

She stood in the window frame for a long pause before she disappeared into the dark.

Angel sat there, taking a few deep breaths, still trying to wrap his thoughts together, and boy, did he have enough of those, then he hurried out of the car himself.

He closed the door quickly but softly then started towards her house. He muttered some curses along the way, but they hadn't stopped him any.

It wasn't long before he was standing below the tree, looking up, trying to see. He sighed and just did the best he could, trying to remember her as she'd made it up.

Buffy had left a tiny crack open in her window which aided him in climbing inside, though he made a mental note to complain about that later, right now it just didn't matter.

Buffy hadn't exactly had time to get to go to sleep, not even as tired and worn out as she was, she hadn't even really gotten comfortable again in bed when she heard him.

Her eyes flew open at the very first sound and she watched the shadow figure entering her room, knowing exactly who it was even in the dark.

She wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"Angel?" she hissed out softly, "What the hell are you doing?"

She watched as he regained his balance on the floor, remaining quiet as he could, then as he came towards her, his large body crawling over her on the bed and his lips were the only reply she got.

Buffy didn't need any time to second guess, she just responded wholeheartedly. She moved her body some under him to get more comfortable then lifted her arms to his chest, grabbing his shirt, and yanking him down to her more.

He complied and her arms went circling around his neck.

As their kissing became more heated, Buffy heard him let out a low growl and then he really got down to business. She wondered where exactly he'd learned all of this so she would know who or what or something to thank later. If only when he kissed her he had her body dripping in need, she could only imagine...

Everything she had just told him basically went out the window the moment he stepped in and right now she didn't have an ounce of resitance in her.

Buffy lowered her hands from his neck and shoulders and started reaching for the bottom of his shirt, yanking it off quickly, needing to feel more of him. His eyes flashed at her as soon as it was over his head and being flung to the side. She felt as much as she heard him growl again before his mouth came crashing back down to her own before going back to attack her vulnerable neck.

Buffy's eyes rolled back in her head again as she felt his tongue making it's way on a trail up her throat. She had to dig her nails into him and bite back a moan while he'd had to lift his hands down to her waist, holding her still even with as much as she'd resisted. But right now, she felt them slowly itching up and soon felt his warm hands slid under the flimsy tank she had on, stopping just underneath and resting on her stomach, one of his thumbs started drawing little circles lightly, tickling her some.

Buffy pulled his head back to her and shared a hard kiss with him before pushing him back a bit so she could lift her own shirt off. She watched his eyes show his surprise before they flashed in a dark hunger again.

What he wouldn't have given for a little more light right now, but no matter, he looked her over in the very dim light, feeling a bit dizzy as his hands slowly started sneaking up to her heavy mounds. And Buffy let out a soft moan as his thumb traded her soft stomach for one of her nipples, circling around the hard tip.

He gave her a dark smile before softly kissing her then he lowered to the opposite breast and let his mouth run havok.

Angel had switched from her left breast to the right, giving it the same treatment and Buffy knew she was about to explode. And sure enough, as his teeth lightly snatched at her flesh and gently pulled, she felt her body begin to shake, pleasure coming to overtake her body in massive waves.

Angel watched as she rode out her orgasm, feeling his cock throbbing in its own need and knew he had to get out of there.

Slowly, he removed his mouth for her breast and started kissing up her chest, throat and neck, cheek than to her mouth. His arm reached out in the direction his shirt had been thrown to and let his hand feel around for it. It took some effort, but he finally grabbed it.

Highly reluctantly, Angel broke the kiss off and slowly started pulling away. He did his best to smile at the confused looking blonde under him as he straightened the shirt out then reached for her so he could slip it on to her. He laid her back down softly to the bed and his head bent to kiss her again.

He let out a sigh and stroked a few strands of her hair out of her face.

"Later today," he started softly, "you gonna be at your Mom's shop again?"

Buffy nodded.

"Movies."

Buffy looked at him with both surprise and confusion.

"Will you go with me?" he asked a bit shyly.

Still confused and with wide eyes she nodded again.

Angel asked a time and if she was sure two more times before kissing her once again the slowly sliding back off of her bed.

He hadn't really thought of how to get down until he was looking back out of the window. He gave a sheepish smile back Buffy's way then started doing the best he could to get back out of there.

Buffy watched as he disappeared from sight, her breathing was still heavy and her heart pounding hard against her chest. She couldn't believe what just happened.

Slowly, she reached under Angel's large shirt and down to her sticky panties she'd still had on. She slipped them off and then went back to dreamily staring off into the dark room, replaying the whole scene.

Her fingers slid into her wet heat, pumping faster and faster. The entire time she imagined him. Imagined him kissing her, touching her. The smell of him, taste and feel of him surrounded her.

She had to bite her lip to keep from screaming as she came.

OoOoO

Angel got into his car and sat down behind the wheel, leaning his head forward on it, breathing hard himself. He couldn't believe he'd done that a lot more than she.

His hand gripped the wheel as he stared back at her window one last time, his body craving what he knew was in that dark room. His cock twitched as the imagine in his head was far too real and he let out at a shaky sigh.

'I need help. Very serious help,' he thought knowing he, on top of everything else, had actually asked her to go on a date with him. 'And she said yes.'

He knew he was very screwed at this point. And not in the way he wanted.

OoOoO

Angel's heart was still racing and his breathing was harsh as he fell back down onto his bed. He still couldn't believe what had happened either.

Angel closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths remember everything that had happened. And he groaned as his hand slid down and flicked open his pants.

He closed his eyes and replayed his little adventure in his head and his hand began stroking his member.


	10. Chapter Ten

Angel looked nervously towards Connor's room, wondering when his brother was ever planning to wake up. Though he really wasn't sure that was going to be a good idea either.

He knew that he was going to have to tell him about his upcoming date with Buffy, he did need help and really didn't have much of a choice, but he really didn't want him to know all the same time. For obvious reasons.

He was tapping his fingers nervously as he stared at the closed door, not noticing Jenny's gaze until minutes later when he finally looked away.

Jenny gave him a small smile with a bit of a questioning look. "Everything alright?"

Angel paused for a moment. "I asked Buffy out on a date," he blurted.

Jenny's eyes went wide and her face was showing every bit of her shock. She noticed he looked pretty shocked himself and wondered if it was from telling her, asking Buffy in the first place or both. "Oh."

He gave a bit of a hysterical laugh at her. "Yeah," he agreed.

"Wow," she blurted out herself.

"Yeah."

"Umm... well," she smiled brightly as the information really started to sink in.

"Last night I asked her to the movies. She agreed. Now I'm..." he waved his hands about and looked towards Connor's door again for a moment before turning back to her. "What the hell am I going to do?"

Jenny chuckled a bit. "You're going to take her to the movies and gave a good time, that's what. What movie are you going to go see?" He looked panicked. "Okay, well how about we look at the paper and check the options," she told him calmly and went to grab the newspaper and opened it to the correct page, reading him off the titles, times and such.

"I haven't been to the movies in a very long time Jen. I haven't been on a date even longer than that!"

"Got that right and it's your own fault," Connor said, having snuck up on them unnoticed. He was yawning and rubbing his eyes and face a lot when suddenly it hit him. "Wait a second.." his eyes went wide, "you're going on a movie date?"

Angel was still shocked that he'd shown up. He was after all highly jumpy right now.

"Holy shit! When that happen?"

"Um.." he cleared his throat, "um.. last night... really late.. I talked to Buffy and..."

"You asked her out! Thank God!" he raised his hands to the sky. "It's about time."

Angel grumbled at him some.

"Let's get down to business!" Connor was wide away now. He was shocked, but more happy than shocked so it all worked well.

OoOoO

"I can't do this," Angel said, running a hand nervously through his hair as he continued to pace around the room.

Connor smacked him. "Shut up, yes you can, now stop worrying."

Angel glared at him. 'Not worry? Ha!'

The phone rang and Connor went to go grab it. Jenny, who had been leaning in a corner with her arms folded over her chest and smiling over the whole thing, slowly pushed off and walked over to Angel and laid her hand gently on his shoulder. His still panicking eyes looked back at her.

"Angel, it's going to be fine," she told him softly. "You're going to have a great evening with Buffy tonight and it's all going to be fine."

"This is a very dumb mistake," he replied, his voice close to a whisper.

"You don't believe that," she smiled again. "You're just worried, but don't be. There's nothing for you to worry about."

"Oh, right," he scoffed, "Nothing at all!"

"Angel," her hand rubbed in circled, trying to get him to calm back down some, "I know that you're worried about.. but don't be. Just enjoy the night. You don't have to blurt out your every last secret to her in order to enjoy a movie together."

Angel glared angrily at the floor. No one understood.

OoOoO

Buffy checked the time then sighed as she laid the paintbrush down. She looked around at the work she'd done so far then looked towards the area where's she'd left her things. She sighed again and headed for them.

Buffy's knees were starting to shake again as she headed into the back bathroom to clean up and change.

OoOoO

Buffy never really thought this was going to be happening. She wasn't sure what in the world had happened and was worried about what would next.

Her hands figeted nervously in her lap as thoughts came rushing at her one after the next. She was more than ecstatic that the guy of her every dream and fantasy and more for the past two weeks had asked her out, sure, but it wasn't exactly that simple.

No matter how badly she wanted it to be. She thought he'd known it and felt that way too.. Then whatever happened last night did and.. Yeah.

And Buffy was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear Angel come in or approach her, she jumped a little when she finally did see him and gave a nervous smile. "Hi."

"Hey," he returned her nervous smile with one of his own. "Um.. are you... do you still want to.. go, I mean.. if not that's..."

Buffy's hands lifted to his arm. "I still want to go with you Angel," she told him softly and heard him let out a deep sigh of relief.

"Good. That's.. good."

OoOoO

"Hey Angel?" Buffy asked a few moments after he started the car,

He glanced over at her, still feeling like he was going to get so dizzy and pass out at anytime now. "Yeah?"

"Truth or dare?"

He chuckled a bit. "Um.. truth?" his eyebrows wrinkled together.

She gave a hint of a smirk his way. "Are you nervous?"

He nodded. "Terribly. Are you?"

She nodded and looked down into her lap for a moment.

"Your turn."

Her eyes lifted up. "Okay.." she started slowly, "truth."

Angel paused. "How do you feel about last night?"

Buffy's face turned a nice shade of red as she remembered and tried to think of a way to answer that.

OoOoO

Connor was the one who'd picked the movie, some chick flick that Angel didn't know nor care anything about.

Buffy didn't know what the movie was about either by title only. It only took the first few minutes to figure it out though and she laughed and pushed on Angel's arm, making him jump a little. "You brought me to a chick flick?"

"Uh.. yes? Was that wrong?"

Buffy laughed again. "Get up."

Angel felt his panic returning, once more, his need to go home and use his brother as a punching bag kicked in. "Buffy.."

He didn't need to say more, she heard it all in his tone right them. 'He sure is one complicated fellow.' She reached down to grab his hands, "We're just going next door to sneak into the other one. Now come on while we still can would ya?"

"Oh," relief flooded him and he laughed as it hit him. That was after all a very Buffy thing to do.

OoOoO

He assumed the movie was good, people seemed to be enjoying it and this one he'd actually heard of. But his attention never really stayed on the screen, instead the blonde who'd snuggled up closer to him during the first half of it.

It was still tense as hell for him, but it did help.

When the lights came up, Buffy stood up and stretched, smiling down on Angel, feeling much better herself. She was worried again now that the movie was over a bit though.

It was still all kinds of awkward.

Angel slowly stood and gathered up all the courage he had to wrap his arms around her waist and pulled her lightly into him. "You hungry?" he whispered into her golden locks.

Buffy wasn't sure if she was supposed to be shocked by his actions after all that had been going on recently, but she was and it stole her breath away and clouded her mind for a moment. Finally she nodded and snuck a glance at him. "Sure."

Angel smiled and kissed the top of her head before grabbing her hand and leading her back out.

It even seemed natural.

OoOoO

"So... how'd you like the movie?" Buffy asked, started to get that uncomfortable feeling back and increasing. Not liking it one bit either.

"Um.. it is was fine."

Buffy smirked. "Really? I wouldn't have thought you would have noticed seeing as you were staring at me the whole time instead."

Angel blushed. He was kind of hoping she hadn't noticed that. "Well.. um.. what can I say? I found you to be much more entertaining."

This time, it was her turn.

Buffy sat across from Angel and bit her lip. It suddenly felt like a real date. And that started to worry her all over again. And again. And again.

The look in his eyes as he studied her mouth sort of did as well. She blushed and thanked God that the waiter showed up. After he left, they made a bit of small talk, avoiding anything major.. such as what had happened much earlier in the beginning of morning, what had led to this whole thing.

Then suddenly Buffy gave him a sly grin after taking a sip of her drink. "Truth or Dare?" she raised her eyebrows.

Angel chuckled at her. "Um.. how about.. dare? Why not." He shook his head. This game sure was something else.

Buffy thought about it for a moment, her eyes off in the corner as she contemplated her options. Her tongue ran over the bottom of her teeth as wicked thoughts came to mind.

She didn't notice how clouded Angel's eyes became as a major string started in his pants due to it. But finally she looked back towards him, deciding she had to be at least a little nice to him, and grinned.

"I dare you to ask how our waiter's night is going when he gets back."

Angel shook his head, trying to rid his lust filled thoughts filling up his head. "What?"

Buffy chuckled. "And you have to me nice about it, too."

Angel's eyes narrowed at her, then looked over in the direction he'd left, not seeing him though so he turned back to Buffy. "I don't want to talk to him!"

She chuckled again. "Why does that not surprise me?"

He grumbled in reply. After a couple of rounds between them, and a bit of conversation, the waiter returned and Buffy had the hardest time in the world as she watched him complete his dare. Not only was that hilarious enough, but the shock from the waiter.. it was just.. priceless. When he walked away, she couldn't hold it anymore and laughed loudly, tears threatening to come.

Angel shot a murderous glare her way, only making her laugh harder.

OoOoO

Angel was a lot more relaxed somehow. He too felt like it was more of a real date once they sat down and all, felt his own worries, but slowly it seemed to be fine again.

Hell, it was Buffy. It was better than fine for that fact alone.

After a bit more fun in their on going game, the two ate, talked about their evening a bit, he was glad she was enjoying it, and they made small talk. Eventually though, they did talk a little more serious, mostly about themselves and bits of the past. She would touch on some of the the 'bad' he already knew but would quickly shy away from it right after and move on to something else.

It was all fine though. He liked learning about her. He liked being here with her.

Then she just had to go and ask.

"Angel?" she started a bit cautiously, unsure why she was taking this moment to ask something she was curious about, but knew she probably shouldn't be asking, "Where are your parents? "I mean... I just wondered because... and stuff... but if you don't wanna talk about it or anything that's fine and..."

Angel swallowed. "They... um... they both died," he answered softly, feeling ill. "My dad... he um... he was involved in a car accident soon after we moved... and um... mom... she... uh... she was murdered before Connor and I had come to live with Jen."

That was the easy way to put in anyhow.

The entire truth, that he didn't so much want to get into.

"Oh my God, Angel! I'm so sorry!" she said truthfully! For it, and regret for asking, showed in her voice. Her hand reached across the table to take his, entwining her fingers with his.

Angel hoped she didn't notice how freezing cold they'd just dropped to.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated.

"It was a long time ago," he said in a hoarse, almost whisper.

All of a sudden Buffy got up and came to sit beside him instead. Her head leaned against his shoulder, her hand reentwined with his as she told again how sorry she was.

He didn't know what to say. He felt his insides eating away.

"Did they ever find out who... I mean... do you know who it was who..." she asked softly, her thumb brushing across his hand lightly.

"Yeah. I know who it was." he told her softly.

The waiter came back a beat after that, checking up on them. After he left, Buffy said she was sorry again and changed the subject before he started to elaborate on that.

OoOoO

"Truth or Dare?"

Buffy shot him a highly amused, and shocked, look. "I think it's my turn mister, but okay.. truth," she answered cautiously.

"Do you regret coming out with me tonight?" he asked, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. He still had a hard time believing this whole thing even took place. It was so surreal.

Buffy smiled. "Not at all. Do you?"

He shook his head. "No. Not for a moment," he dropped a quick kiss on her lips. "If I ask you again would you go?" he sort of rushed out.

Her eyes went from amused to conflicted in record speed.

"How about I stop by tomorrow and we talk about it?" he rushed in before she could say no.

"Okay," she answered softly, biting her lip before his head dropped to her again, this time the kiss being filled with much more need than the last.

Angel's hand cupped her cheek as their tongues continued to dance. He started to feel his desire for her skyrocketing through the roof again, remembering last night, remember every feeling he's had for her...

Then there was a sharp rapping sound, startling them both.

Angel lifted his head to see whoever was making it. Buffy blushed and kissed him again quickly.

"Thank you for tonight," she told him breathlessly. "I'll so you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

Buffy started to turn for the door handle, but he kiss her once more before letting her out. She waved as she reached the door then he sat there for a few extra moments before driving back down the street to his house, already dreading what waited inside.

OoOoO

Connor came bouncing out of the house hardly even after he stepped out of his car. Angel growled at him.

"So?" he asked impatiently.

"So what?"

"So how'd it go? You were gone for a long time. What did you do? How was the movie? You didn't scare her away, did you? Did you ask her out again?"

He growled again.

"Well?!"

OoOoO

"Hey Jen," he said as he closed the door.

"Hi. How'd your date go?"

"Great, thanks."

"Hey, how come you answer her and not me?"

Jenny chuckled and Angel sent him his millionth glare. "I'm glad."

"Yeah, me too."

OoOoO

Angel sighed and rubbed his temple. "Buffy asked about Mom and Dad at dinner."

Connor took a deep breath. "You didn't tell her did you?"

"No. I didn't tell her. I told her dad died in a car accident and mom had been murdered. I didn't go into details."

Jenny couldn't help but notice how broken he looked at that moment. She gave a sad smile then helped shoo Connor away, figure Angel probably just wanted to be alone right now. This had been quite an interesting day after all.

She was still the happiest person on Earth about it though. Not for the first time, she just thanked The Powers That Be for sending Buffy Summers into their lives.

Jenny stood up and ran her hand through Angel's hair softly. "I'm glad you had a good time tonight," she repeated with a smile. "Don't beat yourself up over it. There's a time for everything later."

Angel sighed. There was never a right time for it, though.


	11. Chapter Eleven

The sunlight peeking through his windows is what woke Angel up. He groaned and then blinked his eyes open a few times. And he soon smiled when he realized that he'd slept through the whole night. Even despite having brought it up with Buffy, no nightmares came.

Instead, Angel had some rather pleasant dreams about the said blonde. The one he planned to convince to go out with him today.

And he could live with that.

Angel spent the morning and the early afternoon mostly eating, watching television and avoiding his brother. He still needed help when it came to Buffy and this whole situation, but he wasn't sure Connor was the right choice. Especially since yesterday.

Thankfully though, a little after they ate lunch, Connor left since he had plans, giving Angel a much better atmosphere to think in.

Plus, there was always Jenny. She actually was turning out to be quite the help with this whole thing.

And thankfully, he didn't feel as weirded out by it as he would have expected. And neither did she.

OoOoO

When Angel did head down to the small coffee shop, he was greeted by Dawn the moment he stepped in. He smiled and headed her way, keeping an eye out for both Buffy and her mother but he saw neither.

"Looking for Buffy?"

"Actually, yeah, I am."

Dawn smiled. "Cool. She's next door, I can walk ya. Come on."

And he followed her the short way next door, Dawn going into a few more reasons why she thought he should be with Buffy. He chuckled at it too.

'Who would have ever thought..'

When they got there, she unclocked the door, but before she opened it, Dawn paused to look at him. "You know, I've seen the way you look at her."

Angel drew his eyebrows together, "And how's that?"

"The same way she looks at you." And with that, she opened the door. "Buffy! Angel's here to see you!"

OoOoO

"Hey."

"Hey." Angel looked around, noticing some of the work she must have been up to, "Looks nice."

"Thanks. It's not much yet.. but hey," she shrugged then started to put her tools down.

"I could help, if you want."

Buffy looked back up at him and smiled. "You don't have to do that, Angel."

"What? Like I have anything better to do? C'mon. I can paint or help put the cases, desks and furniture together. I can lift heavy things.. reach much higher than you," he smirked.

Buffy narrowed her eyes at him. "Funny. There's an extra few jumpsuits in the back if you want. Do as you please."

"Oh I will."

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"You're in a playful mood today," Buffy noticed more as time went on.

He smiled. "Maybe."

"Uh huh."

"What can I say? I had a good night... and it carried into a good day."

"Uh huh," she smiled this time though.

"Yes. And I would like to have another good night like it," he crossed his arms over his chest.

Buffy bit her lip. "Angel..." But he was up and coming to her before she could get anything else out.

Angel put his hands around her waist and pulled her closer to him, dropping his head and capturing her lips. Buffy knew she couldn't think whenever he did this. She guess he probably knew it too.

So when he lifted his head, growling for her to agree, she really had no choice.

She felt Angel smile against her neck, where he had retreated to, and her head fell back as he went back to working his way down in a slow torturous pace.

Angel's hands slid from her waist up over her stomach and then to cup her breasts. Buffy moaned and felt him smile again. He weighed them both and gave a gentle squeeze before going to the buttons of her grey jumpsuit.

It wasn't long before she felt his hands slipping inside and under her shirt, feeling his hands that were like fire against her burning skin.

Angel rested his hands on her back then suddenly stopped, pulled his head away and looked at her with enough seriousness to shake you to the bone.

He lifted her up, turned, then carried her over to the desk he'd finished. He sat her on top of it and stood between her legs. That expression still there.

One of his hands came back out, brushing away some of the loose strands of hair falling for her messy ponytail.

"I like you very much Buffy Summers. And all of that confuses, excites and scares me. But I do. And I want you to know that I would never, ever hurt you in any way. I mean, if I did unitentionally... I would apologize and never do it again.. but you know what I mean. And if that's what you're so worried about don't be. I have much more of a reason to fear that then you."

Buffy looked down again. "That's not everything to it, Angel."

"I know. But if you want me to go debunk every reason you've given me, I will. No, I wouldn't and I won't just stand by and let you get hurt by anyone else's hands either, but I won't do anything to make it worse for you either. I won't make you tell me anything you don't want to, do anything you don't want to. But if you want to talk to me you can. If you need help, just ask me and I'd be there no matter what. I have plenty of my own problems you don't know about. Problems you may hate me for later when you find out. And I would understand that. But despite any worries or early reluctance, yeah, I wanna try with you. I can't not. Three weeks in tomorrow and I don't have a choice when it comes to you, Buffy."

He meant to continue, but her eyes lifted back up to lock with his again.

Buffy could hardly believe that Angel had said all of that. Could hardly believe how he acted for the rest of their time there either. He was different in a lot of ways, but still her Angel.

She, once more, had no idea what to think when it came to him or.. them. And she had no idea what would happen next.

OoOoO

When the two of them called it an evening, they headed next door where Dawn invited herself over to Angel's house with them. Buffy glared at her but she came anyway.

Angel surprised her again on the walk, showing the real first public display of affection toward her as he wrapped his arms around her from behind as they all walked back to his house to hang out for awhile.

Dawn raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Instead she just smiled in glee as they continued.

OoOoO

Jenny found herself equally charmed with Dawn as she was with Buffy. She seemed to have a lot of the same qualities as her sister. And as Connor apparently as well.

On top of that, Angel seemed to get along with her too. That was always a plus.

Jenny also noticed that Angel seemed to have magically relaxed around them both, much more than before. That happiness she was still getting used to had returned in droves.

When Connor returned, he was the only one to comment on it. But not even that seemed to have bothered Angel that much at the moment. He no longer seemed to even notice anyone else in the room but himself and Buffy.

OoOoO

Both Buffy and Dawn pitched in to help make dinner and thanked Jenny for inviting them. And even then, it didn't seem like Angel's hands ever left her. His lips not too far behind.

She knew he had to know what he was doing to her.

But he still didn't seem to notice the other three as they'd often stop what they were doing to glance over at them, a smile plastered on their face at the display. Jenny and Connor could both see bits of the boy Angel used to be shining through again.

OoOoO

Buffy spun in Angel's arm, coming to face him. Her head buried in her neck as she continued to giggle hysterically at him.

Angel smiled and let his head fall down to her shoulder as well, chuckling with her.

"What in the world has gotten into you?" she asked as they started to finally slow down.

"You," he replied then lifted her head up to kiss her quickly and smile.

Buffy rolled her eyes and started to turn back around to the counter. "Yeah, well, you start acting like this tomorrow at school people are going to think you've lost your mind."

Angel started laughing again at the thought of that. He could hardly wait. If he could handle it anyway.

But he didn't want Buffy to be worried about their clashing of bad energy or what have you being such an issue either. He wasn't all gloom and doom. At least not for the past few weeks. And he was actually happy once again. And he thought she should know it and know it was all her fault at that.

OoOoO

Buffy and Dawn thanked them all for the meal, letting them come over and so forth about a million more times before leaving. They always forgot what a real family dinner could be like, even if it was their version. It was better than what they ever got.

Angel walked with them back to The Espresso Pump, but said his goodbyes outside before reluctantly bidding them goodnight.

Buffy shook her head as she watched him leave, grabbing for the door a second later. "Hey Lily," Buffy smiled at the waitress, looking around then crossing her arms on the counter, "Mom still in the back?"

"Actually your Dad stopped by a little after you guys left and she left with him. Looked like their was an emergency or something. Oh, I'm sure if it was though she'd come to get you guys or something."

"Oh. Okay," she said with her heartbeat picking up pace with every second. "Thanks."

Dawn could barely blink before Buffy was grabbing ahold of her shirt and pulling her back out, rushing down the street. "Buffy!"

"Where's Janet live again?"

"Janet? Janet who? Oh. You mean Janice. Why?"

"Whatever. Is it near here? What time is it? Think you could stay over there?"

"No," she struggled out of Buffy's grasp but she kept walking.

"Why not? What about that other girl.. what's her face?"

"Jesus. Would you calm down?"

"When does Dad ever just show up Dawn? Never. Well, almost never. Whatever's going on it's not good and I have to get home and do something with you."

"Do you always think the worst in every situation?"

"Yes."

Dawn scowled at her.

"And you know why it happens? Because something good or fun or happy or something comes along or happens or whatever. And then of course something has to happen. That's how it works. It's like we're being punished or something," she mumbled on as she continued walking, Dawn had to almost run to catch up with her with the faster she continued to get.

She wanted to tell Buffy how wrong she was. But it was hard. It seemed like she was right.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Buffy felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her and she smiled as she looked into the small mirror she had put up in her locker, not only because of who it was but also because of the fact that the whole hallway seemed to have suddenly gone completely quiet except for a gasp or two as everyone stopped to watch Angel holding her and leaning down to kiss her neck.

"Hey," he whispered and Buffy laughed.

"Hi yourself." Buffy grabbed up the rest of her things and walked with Angel outside, his arms remaining around her, eyes following them, as usual, the whole way.

Buffy was just as shocked as everyone else as Angel joined in on the conversations the group had, even filling in what happened over the weekend with her, and more. But Angel would just smile and act as if everything was normal, which made it even stranger, but somehow fit.

Angel watched as Buffy started to give a little complaint about having to rejoin in Gym now, and that was the only roadblock he'd stumbled across so far. That tiny flash in her eyes.

Buffy could almost feel his attitude changing and looked over him, that look in his own eyes had her giving a soft smile as she leaned closer to him. "I'm fine, nothing happened. Not to me anyway..."

Angel's head tilted a bit. "She okay?" he asked, not knowing which she he was referring to.

Buffy nodded. "Will be anyway. But it's okay."

"You gonna be okay to rejoin so soon?" he asked remembering how bad she'd been dinged up.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Angel sighed then leaned over to kiss her, hearing Willow gasp and almost feeling everyone's eyes widen around them. "Tell me later?"

Buffy nodded again then smiled, blushing as she saw everyone looking at them. Normally she didn't mind but this was different. She wasn't sure how to feel, but happiness was one of them many flowing through her.

And that was what worried her.

OoOoO

Jenny almost had a heart attack when she watched Angel, Buffy, Willow and Jesse enter.

Angel had his arms around Buffy again and he was still in a conversation with Willow about something, all of them laughing and making jokes and she couldn't believe it.

Angel smiled and stopped in front of her desk. "Buffy's moving next to me alright?" he asked looking back at their seats.

"Um... sure..."

"And when was this decided?" Buffy asked.

"Right about now," Angel smiled. "Thanks."

Jenny watched them go into the back, Buffy taking her new seat at Angel's table. Willow was smiling back at them from hers and wondered if she let them rearrange the whole seating chart, even as selfish as it was. She really needed to send out thank you cards to Buffy's old school and then her parents.

"And I somehow wasn't close enough over there?" Buffy raised her eyebrows at her former seat.

"Nope."

"Uh huh."

"Besides, it'd be much harder and less private to do this," he leaned to kiss her, "if you were."

Buffy smiled and shook her head. "You're crazy."

"Maybe."

Angel was flipping through his notebook and Buffy happened to glance over and something on one of the pages caught her eye. Her arm reached over and she grabbed it from him, getting a confused look from Angel.

Carefully, she pulled it over to herself and started flipping through, looking until she found it. Buffy's eyes widened a bit as she looked at the page then back at him.

Angel felt his shyness returning as Buffy had just found one of the drawings he'd done of her. It only took a moment for him to get a better view and noticed it was the one from three weeks ago after he'd just met her.

"What's this?"

"You?"

"Yeah, I know that. What's it for? You did all these?"

Angel shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't know. I just started drawing when I went to class.. and.. it just sort of... was there..."

Buffy looked it over again before she leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. She was glad she hadn't started crying, but had to pull back away before that changed. "You should join that contest thing they have posters all over the place for."

"I don't do contests," he shrugged again. "Besides, it's too late to join by now I'm sure."

"But you don't know?"

"No, but it doesn't matter."

"Too bad," she said then handed the notebook back to him. "It's very beautiful."

"You're very beautiful."

OoOoO

"So what are your plans for this evening?"

"Besides this mountain of homework? I'm not sure yet. Probably stop by, bother you," Buffy smirked as they entered Walsh's History room.

"Hi there, Mrs. Walsh," Angel said before smiling at her and turning to go to his seat. Buffy almost fell over laughing as she watched the teacher turn ghostly pale and stumble backwards.

The poor woman didn't seem to get it back together for the whole hour either.

OoOoO

"Okay, you're about to send all of the teachers to the ER, you do know that right?"

Angel smiled. "That's the plan. You sure you're going to be alright?"

"Gonna write me a fake note if I say no?" she teased.

"I could. Or I could just come capture you out of there, I mean what would they do, try and stop me?"

Buffy chuckled. "Doubtful. But I think I'll survive. Thank you though."

"Alright."

Angel watched as she headed towards the Gym and finally started going in the opposite direction, his mind finally catching up with this day. His emotions were still all over the place though. But he honestly didn't mind it. It felt good. It felt normal.

Today he actually felt almost normal.

OoOoO

Buffy made it through Gym with only some shortness of breath and some random sharp stabbing pains from time to time. She was more than happy with the hour ended though.

She hurried to grab her things and get out the door, pulling her phone out on the way to let her mother know she'd just get a ride with Angel and go hang out with him for awhile.. not knowing of the previous phone call Joyce had just received... then she hung up and headed towards the library.

OoOoO

Joyce hung up the phone and sat down with a sigh. She still could not believe she'd made such a stupid mistake about not calling that Principal Snyder back before. With all of the drama that came... she had though. And she knew mistakes like that weren't to be made in this family.

Joyce sighed again and looked over at the clock, figuring roughly how long it had been.

She was afraid about this Angel guy when the first call came in. Hell, even before that with bits and pieces of rumors floating around. She was afraid that Buffy was repeating her mistakes all over again.. but in a lot of ways she knew now that it was even worse than that.

Both of her daughters were so far from who they once were and it ate her up inside to see it.

Dawn was always so quiet and afraid all of the time now. So obediant. She never spoke unless spoken to, she never made any kind of mess, she cried a lot.. She never acted like a normal child her age unless she was around Buffy.

And Buffy.. Joyce didn't know what to think about her. She'd become so out of control back in LA. She was rebellious and out of control. She got into trouble everywhere. At school, at home, around town. Everywhere. She caused scenes, she got herself hurt, she even seemed to do it on purpose more and more. She quit cheerleading and every other after school activity or group she was involved in, she started skipping classes with her new group of friends since her old ones all got dropped one night just like that, her grades started to slip, she was drinking and Joyce suspected some drugs were involved as well. She was just so.. lost.

She was afraid Buffy was just starting it all back up again.

Sometimes she wished that was the case now.

Instead, as soon as she got out of the hospital, Buffy went through another change. It was almost a mockery of both who she used to be and of Joyce as well. That mixed in with some other things she was still trying to figure out.

Buffy avoided her anytime she could, avoided talking to her, being around her, anything. The only time she was there was anytime she thought she might have to go into her protective mode. Something she'd brought on herself so long ago and she never knew or understood why. Especially when after it was over, there was nothing but blame pointed her mother's way.

She couldn't hold it against her though. Buffy had every right to feel that way. Now more than ever. She still did it though. Every time. The only time anything truly bad ever happened to her or Dawn was only if Buffy had been beaten almost to death and was unconscious or something.

It wasn't fair to her at all.

But she never complained, never said anything about it to her. Not anymore. Not in a long time.

The only time she did talk to her was when she was playing the role of perfect daughter or felt like she had to. Maybe once or twice she might have just because... but it didn't happen often.

The cheerfulness, the smiles, the laughter and happiness though. That cut the deepest. That was the biggest slap in the face, using the girl she used to be like that. It was so forced, so faked.. but not many knew that because no one here really knew her. But Joyce knew it.

Every morning, the plastered face and greetings in an almost sing-songed voice. The quiet rides to school with her just sitting there, still smiling, but looking anywhere but at her. The phone calls, the only real way Buffy ever seemed to communicate with her, but they were always short and to the point, void of any real emotion or issue. Then she'd come by, pretend to be the daughter discussing her day with her family, then go find her sister to really be more of herself with. The drive home would be back in silence, then they'd get home and if they were on a good day, Buffy would just disappear until the morning. If you stopped in to see her in her room before that, she graciously let you in and sat down, smile in place, letting you say what you need to. She acted polite and calm, but her eyes never were.

Her eyes were the biggest betrayer of her. The stiffness in her words and actions were close behind. But again, you had to know her otherwise it just seemed so natural.

But this Angel.. after watching Buffy and Dawn as well with him and his brother.. it was like a tiny glimpse of the real girls hidden in there. She didn't know either of them and didn't know what to make of them.. but seeing her girls being so relaxed and back to their own selves.. it just didn't matter so much. Neither did anything she'd been told about the boy or had just overheard. None of the past mattered.

And that was why she really had no problem letting Buffy go spend time with him anymore. Especially not today. Especially not now.

Now that she was going to lose it.

No. Buffy deserved those last few hours of unknowing if nothing else.

Joyce sighed again and stood up, going out the door with her own plastered smile on as she went back to business.

OoOoO

"Hey, Jeeves!"

"Miss Summers."

"He hadn't given you a heart attack yet I hope," she said, nodding towards Angel with a smile.

Giles looked confused.

"Hey's been talking to his teachers all day," she explained and watched him turning into shock mode, more so as the said boy was getting up and coming their way, "Teacher's have been freaking out all day."

He could understand why.

OoOoO

After school ended, Buffy and Angel went to grab something quick to eat, walked around the mall a bit, then drove around town before heading back to Angel's.

When they arrived, Jenny was already working on dinner but shooed them away when offering to help and Connor had just left to go on a quick grocery run for her, leaving the pair alone as they walked through the rest of the house back to Angel's room.

Somewhere that both were getting quite familiar with these days. Not that either of them minded, of course.

And Buffy smiled as she walked in and over to his bed, sitting down with her bag next to her. She started to reach in for her book but Angel stopped her, having other, much more interesting, ideas in mind.

OoOoO

Before either of them knew, they were both shirtless and tangled up in each other, exploring each other's mouths and bodies with raging desire and need that Connor was left outside, knocking on the door for over five minutes.

When it slowly started getting to them, they broke away, panting, and tried to let it come to them, taking a few more moments to realize what it was.

Angel panted for a moment then cleared his throat. "What?" he called, his voice still husky.

Connor narrowed his eyes at the door then shook his head with a smile. "Dinner's ready. Feel free to join us whenever you're ready," he called back and walked away without waiting for the reply.

Buffy's face started burning. She had never felt so.. like all of this before. She'd never felt so wanted, beautiful, scared, out of control.. it was crazy.

She didn't know how much time had past, how all of this happened, where their clothes had gone, when or how but guessed she knew the why, she didn't know what else could have happened either.

Angel growled out a moan and snapped her back to reality again, only to be startled as she realized her hand was still stroking over his jean clad erection, something she also didn't have a clue when that started, how she got the courage to do that.. among many other things, and her face started to turn a deeper shade as she snatched it away from his groin.

His dark eyes followed her hand then traveled over her breasts, watching as she shivered as well as watched her nipples grow even harder, then they continued traveling down her stomach, drinking her in, before going back up, lingering on her breasts again, then her throat and neck, to her beautiful face.

His head bent and his lips came back down to her in brutalizing force again, stealing her breath and clouding her mind.

It didn't take long for everything to start fading away again so when the next knock came it startled them both. "Buffy? Angel? Are you guys..."

"Right there, sorry," he hurried out, clearing his throat again and trying to shake away the all too powerful need for the blonde laying under him away, which was no any easy task by any means.

Her tiny hands pulled him back down to her and he growled at her making this even harder as they slid from his shoulders, down his chest and stomach. "We have to get up," she told him softly.

Angel smirked and went to kiss her again, rolling them over in the process. When it ended Buffy sat up, stradleing him, and looking down. "You have to be the one to pull away because I know there's no way I can at this moment."

Buffy felt a new rush run through her and wanted to act on it, but forced herself to just blush, kiss him again quickly, then start to pull away, smiling at his groan at the loss of contact.

She could get used to this.

OoOoO

They opened a window in his room, hoping the cooler air would help calm them down, as well as putting some distance between each other as they got dressed and tried to look presentable again.

It was still one hard process for both of them.

They were as good as they were going to get and his hand went to the door but this time she stopped him, her eyes looking much different now.

"What's wrong?"

Buffy sighed and leaned her head on the door. "This.. that.. you know.." she blushed again, "it's you know... not fair.. to you.."

Angel looked her over for a minute before pulling her into his arms. "Yes Buffy, it is," he whispered in her ear before he traveled slightly lower and began suckling her tender skin. Buffy bit her lip and wiggled some, knowing they had to get out of there.

"Angel!"

"Mmm. Right," he groaned and took his time pulling away again. "Dinner," he wiggled his eyebrows, "though I can think of nothing I'd rather eat than you."

Buffy's eyes widened and her blood all went rushing to her face again, her body tingled with desire though.

OoOoO

Joyce looked over at the clock again, felt her body still cold with fear, something that wasn't going away anytime soon. She was beyond sure of that.

She waited as long as she could then argued with herself about going to get Buffy already or not.

And it was the most selfish moment of her life when she went to knock on that door.

Joyce knew she could leave without her, she'd find a way home, wasn't that hard, this Angel boy would probably even be the one to drive her if she went to find them gone.

She knew she could go home and get the worst of it and maybe Buffy wouldn't have to endure too much or maybe not any at all. Maybe it'd be over, maybe he'd be tired or gone or who knows.

But she didn't.

Instead, she went to go get her daughter, knowing she was doing it to save her own hide instead of Buffy's. Instead Buffy would be protecting her and she might be the one left alone. She knew this was not going to be an easy night already. She even had a hospital planned out for them to go to, probably for Buffy alone. And she made sure it was at least two towns away.

Couldn't let people get too curious if you help it, right.

Then there was the story. The one Buffy would hate her for the most.

Buffy dealt with any pain, even though it was obvious she blamed her for it. But this was on a new level.

Buffy wasn't going to be making it to school tomorrow. And the poor boy walking her out right now was probably going to be blamed for it.

OoOoO

Angel didn't know why, but he had a strange feeling ever since last night. Something about Joyce's eyes sort of bothered him and he didn't know what. But Angel figured he was just thinking too much into it and tried to brush it off.

Now it was hours and a new day and something in the back of his mind was tugging at him. And it was driving him insane.

"What, did you get lost?"

Angel blinked then turned around until he spotted Connor, who had a laughable look on his face.

"What? No," Angel then glared. "Have you seen Buffy today?"

Connor rolled his eyes. "No. And Jesus Angel! It's only third period! You'll see her in like an hour. Have a cow why don't you."

Angel glared harder. "That's not what I meant."

"And you only spent the whole night with her basically and every other chance you get. I know you're new at this whole thing but..."

Angel turned and walked to his class without a look back.

OoOoO

Angel was busy counting the seconds as he stood waiting in front of Buffy's locker, still no signs of her anywhere and part of him was feeling as pathetic as it was clearly played out by Connor but part of him felt like it was something more too and that was worrying him.

When he spotted some familiar red hair his eyes lit up a bit as he hurried over to her, scaring not only the tiny girl but anyone in seeing range.

"Oh!" Willow basically shrieked. She was becoming more and more used to him as the days went on but it was still very much a work in progress and she did kind of expect him to just snap sometime in the back of her mind or something. "Angel. Um.. hi?"

"Hey, sorry." He threw a quick smile her way then looked back at Buffy's locker quickly then back at her, "Have you seen Buffy today?"

"Oh... um... no actually. I don't think she's here today."

"Oh..." 'Shit!'

"Maybe she's sick?"

"Yeah, maybe," he said distracted as his eyes flew to search the hall before excusing himself and moving quickly through the halls. "Connor!"

"Yeah?"

"Go into the office and ask if Buffy came in today. She didn't, but find out if they know why."

Connor just stared at him.

"Connor, it's important okay?"

He rolled his eyes. "What makes you think they'd even tell me. Shouldn't that be private or something?"

"I don't know, just go ask. Please?"

"Fine."

OoOoO

"She's sick, okay. Her mom apparently called, said she might be out for a few days at least. Do you think you'll survive?"

"Shit. What's Sunnydale Hospital's number?" he asked as he reached for his phone.

"This is overreacting," Connor replied calmly.

"No, it's not," he stormed into the office and grabbed a phonebook from the desk. "I'll bring this right back," he said then went back out into the hall, not even noticing the terrified secretary.

"Right. She gets a cough and you go all loco. Perfectly normal."

"Connor, did she look sick?," he asked then hurried to speak into the phone while Connor watched on, wondering what in hell this was about.

OoOoO

"Where are you going?"

"Buffy's."

"She's not in the hospital then?"

"Not that one."

"Would you like to explain to me what is going on?"

"Not really, no."

"Angel."

Angel stopped walking and turned around, almost colliding with Connor who was still trying to catch up to him. "Think back Con, and real hard... to Buffy, Joyce and Dawn. Small little details. Buffy basically limping for days, Joyce's fading black eye, you commenting on bruises on Dawn's neck... things like that, Con."

Connor did and then felt his stomach drop out. "Holy shit. Who?" He thought he probably knew, but didn't want to be right. And he was still busy trying to digest it all. And how he wasn't paying any attention.

Hell, Buffy basically gave him a push not long ago. He was too bust thinking about other things though. And was kicking himself for it now.

Angel turned and started walking again. "Think some more. Avoidance, diverted comments, kicking you.."

"Shit!"

"Exactly."

"Well.. okay, hold up, how do you know for sure?"

"She told me. And it gets worse alright," Angel ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know. I just got a feeling."

"Yeah, well, remember the last time you got one of those would ya?"

Angel growled.

OoOoO

Angel stood knocking on the door for several minutes before turning to look at Connor who just shrugged. Angel sighed then went to swing his head back, but instead his eyes went to the tree he'd used not long ago to sneak up to Buffy's room.

Angel ignored Connor's questions and comments as he rushed from the doorsteps and through her yard to the tree, as they got closer and Connor began to put in his head together what was going on it became a tad harder though as he started getting louder and louder. And far more annoying.

Angel did his best to ignore him however and hurried up the side of the house.

Annoyingly, he found nothing helpful.

"Now where are you going?" Connor asked, watching Angel seemingly running toward the car even before his feet hit the ground again.

"Espresso Pump. Come on."

"Shit."

OoOoO

Angel closed the phone and then closed his eyes. His head was killing him, the thoughts racing not being any help.

"So?"

"So... Dawn's not at school either. And we know she's not at home, no one is. Buffy's not a school and as we found out a few minutes ago, Joyce isn't at work. Something is very.." Angel sighed, "I don't even know. Fuck!"

"Maybe it's nothing?"

"Yeah," he said distracted, trying to get his head to work properly. Angel started the car and Connor was too lose in his thoughts to ask where they were going this time.

Everything was sinking in for him and he wasn't liking the picture being painted anymore then the madman beside him.

OoOoO

"You can go in now."

Joyce turned toward the doctor then slowly got up. She offhandedly thanked him and the nurse as she lead the way then left to give them some privacy.

Tears began to sting her eyes again as she finally got to look at them both together.

Before now Buffy and Dawn had been kept in separate rooms but they had an opening and put the two girls together. Joyce was thankfully for the act but right now she wished it hadn't happened as she had to face them both together at the same time.

Walking back and forth down the halls seemed so much easier right now.

With a shaking hand, she reached for a chair and drug it to the middle of the two beds. Joyce sat down and pulled her knees up to her chin just as the tears began to flow freely. Joyce quickly brushed the tears away but ignored the fresh out pour as her hands were otherwise occupied, reaching to both sides of her, grabbing a hand of each of her still unconscious daughters.

Joyce's legs pressed harder against her, bringing attention to something she'd been trying to ignore since finding out earlier.

She hadn't even known she was pregnant. Hadn't even given it any thought at all. But that didn't make the pain of losing it any less.

In fact, in some ways, it even increased it.

The worst thing though, is she also felt relieved.

And she'd never hated herself more than the moment she knew that.

But it was the lucky one. And maybe they'd all been better off if... Maybe she could hate herself more.

OoOoO

"We should get back."

"And what?"

"I don't know. Tell Jen? I'm sure she could do something."

Angel sighed. "Yeah. I'm sure Buffy'll love me telling everyone."

Connor glared at him. "I'm not even going there with you."

Angel knew exactly what he meant by that and it went searing through him.

"She needs help."

"Then let's get her some help."

OoOoO

"Excuse me? Mrs Summers?"

Joyce lifted and turned her head towards the nurse.

"I'm so sorry.. but we forgot to get you to fill one of these out," she showed her a clipboard as she went into explaining the form. The one that grants information access to those on the list.

Joyce sighed then slowly let go of the girls' hands, reaching to take it from her. "If there was someone that I didn't want to get any information at all, not even that we were here at all in the first place, could you do that?"

The nurses' eyes looked over the broken woman in front of her, then over to the woman's wounded children.

The man she just knew somehow was responsible had already been here.. and the thought of someone worse being out there after them too had fear shooting through her.

OoOoO

Joyce was pretty sure that if one more person came along telling her she shouldn't be up and walking about like this due to her "condition" she was going to snap.

She had every last reason to be frantically fretting. It was a new day but no better than the last.

Her baby was still dead.

Dawn had woken up a time or two but only for brief moments before falling back under. The doctors told her not to worry but a lot of good that did.

And Buffy... ever since around midnight it had been nothing but up and down with her. She got worse, then they got her back to as good as she could get right now, only for her to start downward again. And no one was telling her anything, not that she was one hundred percent sure she wanted to know.

Now that she'd been moved, the girls were split back up and she was on a traveling basis again. Sure, the nurses and the doctors and everyone else were worried about her and everything.. but she wasn't. Not right now.

Not like that anyway.

No, instead she was worried about what would happen if Buffy somehow didn't make it out of this okay.

Which didn't make anything any better either.

As the tears fell once again, Joyce began to wonder how exactly everything had reached this point. After seeing what it had done to her mother she had sworn so many years ago not to repeat her mistakes, yet, here she was. And so much worse off than her mother had ever been. And the kids.. she'd never had to deal with even half of what they had, she didn't ever think she could have either.

OoOoO

"Angel, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know," he sighed and put his head in his hands, trying to think or block everything out one.

Neither seemed likely to happen though.

Connor did the same, with the same reasons and same results. He still couldn't believe any of this. Yet.. he could.

It wasn't like this was really anything new to him.. but it was Buffy and Dawn. And he'd spent the whole night beating himself up about it. Not noticing when he had all the clues, all the knowledge but nothing. And there was nothing to justify that. Not thinking no one could hurt those two, thinking maybe in the back of his mind that even if it was going on there was Angel who.. yeah.. a lot to be said there, not being flat out told so didn't jump to anything.. nothing. There was no excuse he could live with right now.

And he, nor Jenny, could even begin to imagine how Angel was even coping as much as he at least seemed to be.

And Jenny shared Connor's feelings about torment over not noticing sooner and everything as well. It wasn't like she hadn't had experience in the past with similar situation.. even if this one was different.. it still cut deep.

She tried to remain calm as she could while listening to the boys yesterday and tried to put on the face to hide her true feelings but it was hard. Really hard.

And she was as lost as all of them.

Cops? Good idea, but.. apparently not once that story came out. It was a tug at the heart strings. It could just make it worse, it apparently had in the past. And finding them wasn't working so well right now either. And that was terrifying all in the same too.

It was one Hell of a mess, that was for sure.

OoOoO

It was around midnight when Angel returned to the Summer's residence. He'd stopped by a few times already today, but nothing seemed to have changed.

Which had both an up and down side.

He wasn't exactly sure what he might hear. Or what he might do.

Neither did Jen or Connor since they basically did anything in their power to keep him away from any chance of finding Buffy's father, including these many visits with both a hope and dread that this would be that time.

But, after a few more minutes of sitting in the dark, he figured this wasn't going to be it.

Angel sighed and started the car, heading home. He had a sick feeling in his stomach, one he'd had since yesterday, and his mind running wild. He didn't understand.. a lot.. but finding her just seemed impossible for some reason. Something was definitely wrong with that. And he felt like his mind was hinting at something.. but he couldn't figure it out.

Any of it.

And it was driving him insane.

When he got home, Angel tried to think of a few new things to try and made a list with whatever came to mind, including different hospitals in a different direction, check into some of Buffy's old files if he could, some of her old friends... whatever he could think of or find.. he had to try. And had no intention of stopping until he found her.

He was way past it being an option not to care when it came to her.

And that alone was pretty damn frightening.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Hemery High?

'Oh Boy.'

Jenny wasn't surprised to find Angel and Connor gone the next morning or to find a note telling her she should go to school and cover for them as well as an explanation as to where they headed. And really, it shouldn't have surprised her either but still... picturing Angel at Hemery High wasn't exactly easy.

He was still Angel after all.

Angel and Connor weren't exactly fairing any better. But Angel was doing his best to put everything aside and just focus on Buffy. Besides, he had brought Connor along with a purpose.

OoOoO

"Well..." Angel impatiently grumbled.

"Why don't you go ask them?"

"Do I really have to answer that?"

Connor sighed and looked out the window at the large flocks of students. "This is so out of my comfort zone," he grumbled as he reached for the door.

Connor stood and shivered at the sight and knowledge of what he knew he had to do. He looked the kids some more then ducked his head back into the car.

"Don't get me wrong, I love Buffy. She just might be the best thing that has happen to any of us. But all that aside, you are still going to owe me. As in big time owe me. As in like you better love her because I'm making you marry her and have like fifteen kids alright."

Angel reached his arm over and pulled the door closed, pointing towards the school and mouthed 'go.'

Connor ran a hand through his hair and mumbled, "He thinks I'm kidding," before shaking his head as he took his first steps towards this version of hell.

Connor wasn't exactly shy, wasn't exactly his brother either, but that didn't exactly mean he enjoyed going to one of Los Angeles' larger schools, a school he'd never been to, never planned or wanted to go to, had no idea about finding his way around the huge place, surrounded by hundreds of people he did not know and basically despised on principle and was having to go up to them and try talking with said people.

So no, this wasn't his idea of a good time in any way, shape or form.

It didn't help that he had no idea what he was doing either.

Angel, being the big help he was, had no idea who he was even supposed to be looking for since he didn't know any of Buffy's former friends either. Helpful.

He barely even knew she was formally Miss Popular then the downfall from there. And Connor didn't know where to go with that even.

Bracing himself, he finally gave up the arguing in his head and started towards random people.

OoOoO

"Buffy Summers?" the guy gave Connor a strange look. One he was getting quite used to, only a few minutes in, a few groups down. "Oh wait... that chick who burnt the school down? Yo, that shit was awesome! You remember that?" he started laughing as he turned towards his friends who all pitched in useless bits.

"Okay, so.. you knew her then?" Connor finally cut in.

"No man," he laughed again, "but I wish I did."

Connor sighed. "Do you know anyone who might?"

He thought for a moment before replying, gaining another sigh from Connor and a mumbled thank you. He hoped this lead would be better than some of the others, if they gave one at all. Mostly, he was just going in circles.

And when he found the girl, Kimberley, he wished he was back in circles as she was rather.. unpleasant. He didn't get much out of her, except a headache mostly, but she was supposibly one of Buffy's former best friends. The bell rang only moments after getting it confirmed she once was friends but that was followed by her introduction to how much of a freak her 'friend' had turned out to be. She wasn't even close to getting that all out, he could tell, but the bell rang and she cussed him out, thinking out loud why she was even talking to him and then left. Along with most of the students.

Connor sighed and walked through the emptying halls back to the parking lot to wait for his next chance to find something. Not that going back to Angel sounded like any better option then the rest.

Especially when he still had zip.

OoOoO

It was almost lunch and Connor couldn't even beging to tell you how many people he tried to talk to. And in most cases tried was quite the keyword.

He walked the halls during breaks, tracked any loose kid or student down as the halls emptied or out in the parking lots, he even hid out in the bathroom for a while.

Really, wasn't his favorite day.

He was getting ready to get out of the car again, Angel ready to kick him out, when there was a knock on Angel's window. Both of them turned their heads and wondered who the suit was. And what this was about.

Trouble. Most likely. Something they both could bet on.

Angel glared, a tired, unnatural one, but then he sighed and reached to get his window down and gave the man an odd look.

"Yeah?"

"Faith Lehane."

"What?"

"Someone you're looking for. Faith Lehane."

They both gave him confused looks again.

"You're the two looking for info or something about Buffy Summers right? Should go find her." He scanned the area for a moment then looked back at each of the boys before telling them where they might be able to find this Faith girl. "Oh, and you might want to go this time," he said, nodding his head at Angel.

Angel scrunched up his forehead, not sure what to make of this. And him. And anything anymore. But right now, he just didn't care. He was desperate at this point, tired, scared, worried and everything else under the sun.

"I'll be here when you get back. You're probably going to want to talk with me as well."

OoOoO

Faith popped open the top of her soda then pushed her sunglasses down as she watched the two unknown guys continue toward her. She scrunched her eyebrows together as she looked them over, wondering what was going on now.

"Uh.. hi? Excuse me but um... are you Faith?"

She gave him a hard stare as she took another sip of her drink. "Maybe. Who are you?"

Connor sighed. At least she hadn't done any of the things he'd come up with in his head at the first sight of her.

He was starting to see where her attraction to Angel came from.

"I'm Connor and that would be my brother Angel. And we're here because we're worried about his girlfriend and were sort of told you might be able to help somehow and..."

"I don't know his girlfriend. Does it look like I would?"

'Well, she's clearly annoyed.' Connor sighed again. "Buffy Summers. He's dating a girl who used to live here and go to school here named Buffy Summers. Do.. do you know her? Did you? Is there anything you can.."

She grew a little more alert at that. "Why? What happened to her?"

"We don't know."

Faith stood up. "What do you mean you don't know?"

"She's... well... sort of... missing."

"Missing?"

"Well.. see.. Monday everything was fine and she even came over that night.. but then Tuesday... she wasn't there.. Angel started to get worried and well one thing led to another and we can't find her. Or her sister, mother or even her father. Neither Buffy or Dawn have been to school, Joyce hasn't been to work, we haven't heard a thing from any of them, the house has been deserted for the past few days, we've called hospital after hospital and..."

Faith held up a hand and looked over at Angel. "She doesn't like you."

Angel started to glare at her but figured that might not be the best way to go right now. "Joyce? I don't know. I don't think so."

"Good luck then. Really."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Hold on. Buffy would have hardly been out when she moved... so you two couldn't have known her very long right?"

"Out of what?"

"And she's only been missing for what, two days? You're either overly worrying people or... you know."

Connor flicked the back of his teeth. "Yeah, we know," he finally replied, his voice soft and dripping with guilt.

"Wow," she sounded impressed as she looked them over again, "Guess Buffy does like you though huh? She'd not always so.. outright with it. Met the asshole yet?"

"Haven't had the pleasure."

She huffed. "Lucky you. But back to the point... if everyone else is missing and not just Buffy while they parade around like everything's fine then you know something went horribly wrong. Trust me, nothing major happens to Dawnie or Joyce as long as Buffy is around.. unless of course you know... she... takes too much, more than she's able to handle. If it's bad enough and they had to go head for a hospital it will be a few towns over, somewhere where they don't know a soul. It will be a small town but bigger than the one you guys are from, one small enough to get treated but big enough not to get too much attention and stick out like a sore thumb."

"We've tried hospital after hospital.."

"Joyce doesn't like you remember? Don't think she's above paying someone off or lying her way through anything to keep their dirty little family secret quiet."

"Not her biggest fan?"

Faith ran her hands down her jeans a few times. "Look, I grew up wishing I was Buffy Summers, wishing I had her life. Since birth I've been the girl from the wrong side of the tracks and there wasn't anything I wouldn't have given to be her. She had it made. She was pretty, popular, head cheerleader, queen of every dance, lead in every play, she had good grades, she had her pick of any guy, she had money, she had a normal, nice family. Her parents were still together, her mother seemed to adore her and flaunt about her all the time, and she had a little sister. In my mind, that's perfect. Then, all of a sudden, everything changed. As soon as she spoke up, it spread like wildfire and when no one listened and nothing was done, she was. Nothing I can say could possibly described how it was to see her "fall from grace." She went from Miss Everything to quiet and shy, being gossiped about to put in the hospital.. then, when she got out, she was a completely different girl. And that girl became by best friend. After actually getting to know her and her life, made me thankful for an absentee father I've never met and an alcoholic mother. My mother may have a little too much to drink now and then and I might get smacked around here and there but I'd take that any day over what Joyce is putting them through."

"Joyce ever hurt them?"

"No. Well.. not like that, no. But in my book, all of her "not doing" doings are a thousand times worse."

"Wanna tell us about it?"

OoOoO

"So you and Buffy were really good friends then huh? You were quite protective of her."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Connor hesistated for a moment. He looked over at Angel who looked sick as he tried to disgest everything Faith had spent the whole time telling them about. It didn't look like he was having any bit of luck with that. And he could understand the feeling. "Then... why haven't.. you know.. talked... like you said?"

Faith fought the urge to scream or punch or get up and run away. Anything. Instead she cracked her knuckles a few times and sighed heavily. "Guilt?"

"Guilt?"

"Look, there was an incident with the school being set on fire..."

"Know all about that."

"Okay, good then. Okay... well... the thing is... she... it wasn't like snap of the fingers, she magically got kicked out, they had to investigated, the school had to have meetings and all kind of shit right. Well the night that she ofically was, I found out and, being the good friend I was supposed to be, I went over there and caught the middle act of a very unpleasant encounter going on with her and her dad. As I've told you earlier, after we became friends and everything I would often put myself in the mix since no one else was and you can't just sit back knowing someone you care for is getting hurt all the time I guess. And I knew none of this was going to go well, it hadn't during the whole 'waiting period' already and you just knew shit was going to hit the fan and I don't know, I was afraid something was going to happen so I went over there. Long story short, when it got to the point where she was fighting to stay conscious, I'd had my share of a beat down as well by this point, and he... I don't know... he got tired or bored or something... I don't really know... but all of a sudden I was fighting for a whole new reason as he tried to pin me down. Before anything really happened though, Buffy basically crawled over to us and stabbed him with something. I don't know what it was, wasn't exactly caring at that moment, but he howled out and eventually I got free as he went back to her. And I guess I became no better than Joyce that night as I ran off, leaving her there. She was in the hospital all summer. I haven't spoken to her since that night. Lindsay does though... told me she wasn't exactly the same after that. Guess I can understand."

OoOoO

They stayed outside talking long after the bell had rung. Angel mostly stayed quiet, Connor asked the questions, and Faith answered with as much as she knew, trying to help out anyway she could. She knew how bad it could get with them and honestly was worried right along with them.

About halfway during whatever class was currently going on that she was skipping, the man who'd sent them over found his way to the group and sat down, finally introducing himself as the Lindsay Faith had mentioned a few times during the talk. He seemed to know more about Buffy's current living and that included bits about Angel and Connor.

By the time they finally decided to leave, they both felt like they knew Buffy a little bit better but because of that it didn't exactly make them feel better given the current situation. Angel honestly kept looking worse by the minute.

OoOoO

"Well, here's my card in case I find out anything or if you guys need anything," Lindsey said, reaching his hand into the car to hand it over.

"Thanks."

"She's gonna be okay," he said after looking Angel over.

"Yeah," he muttered, hoping to god it was true.

"She will. And we'll find her soon enough. Try not too worry too much. Have a safe trip home."

OoOoO

Instead of finally heading to class, Faith waited until both of their cars were gone then ran out of there, heading home to try and see if there was someway she could help. She didn't know exactly what to do, but she knew she had to try something. Anything.

It was the least she could do.

She had a good feeling about that Angel guy too for some reason. A major and obvious bad one.. but about him and Buffy.. something was right about it anyway.

'And fuck the rest.'

 

OoOoO

 

Dawn hobbled her way over to Buffy's room finding her mother asleep in one of the chairs as well. She gave a small sad smile her way then covered her up with an extra blanket before making it over to her sister's bedside.

She stood over her, holding her icy cold hand in hers, staring down with tears silently forming for God knows how long as she tried to will her out of this.

She knew Buffy was going to be fine, she knew it, she knew she had to be... but still.. but still there was that part of her who thought what if she doesn't, that doubted she was going to be okay this time, that put a sinking feeling back in her stomach..

Dawn looked toward the door for a moment, then at her mother, then finally back down to Buffy as she slipped in beside her on the small hospital bed. "Buffy, please don't leave me," she whispered then laid her head down on her sister's shoulder, crying her wake back to sleep.

OoOoO

"I know what you're thinking," Connor finally spoke after over an hour in silence as they drove back toward Sunnydale.

"I highly doubt it."

"Let's just say that the last time someone was abusing the people you cared about... well, they ended up being quite murdered. Quite violently murdered. We don't talk about it, and we don't need to. We also do not need a repeat though."

He remained silent, staring ahead. He didn't even acknowledge him this time.

"It's not going to help her."

Silence.

"You can't kill her dad, Angel."

"You really think that's my plan?" Angel answered, many tense moments later.

"I honestly don't know."

Angel wasn't completely sure himself right now.

"I just know you can't handle going through that shit again."

OoOoO

It took her many tries, but finally Buffy managed to open her eyes and try to get them to adjust. She stared at the ceiling for several minutes before trying to move them and scout the room a little better.

It wasn't the easiest task.

Everywhere seemed to hurt and she was wincing and wanting to scream out with every little movement. Her head was pounding, she wasn't having the easiest time even breathing, hell moving her eyes seemed like torture.

She did figure out though that she was in the hospital and that Dawn was asleep halfway on top of her for some reason. And it took her awhile, but she later noticed her mother in there as well.

She tried to swallow, with a large amount of difficulty, then tried to speak to get her attention but her throat was dry and sore, her voice all but gone, and so it just came out in a squeaky, harsh half whisper. Giving up, she closed her eyes, trying to drown everything out for a moment. It seemed to make things worse.

Buffy took a few deep breaths and looked around the room again. She looked down at herself and the bed and spotted the little thing used to call a nurse in and tried to reach for it. Again, it was something that took many tries and a lot of effort but she finally dragged it up to her with her fingers that seemed just as sore and swollen as the rest of her.

It seemed like a lifetime before a nurse finally came in and as the lights came blasting into the darkened room Buffy really wished she'd gone another way as she let out another squak and closed her eyes as tightly as she could.

Dawn groaned and wiped her eyes, then went to glare at the nurse who looked a little shocked for some reason. Afraid she did something wrong, she hurried to sit up but a small movement coming from beside her had her stopping dead in her tracks to look down.

"Buffy!" she screamed excitingly then covered her mouth as she watched her sister wince in pain. "Sorry," she whispered then bent down to hug her. "I thought you were dead."

The nurse came over, as did Joyce who was woken up by all of the commotion as well, and helped Buffy sit up in the bed to get a better look at her, do some tests and such.

But when Buffy finally opened her eyes again, noticing how bad her sister and mother were, they all partly wished she'd stayed unconscious.

Buffy felt guilty and at fault for everything she saw knowing she could have done something different somehow and nothing would have had to have happened to them.

Joyce felt sick at the horrified look on her daughter's face, knowing exactly was going on inside of her. And that she knew she was to blame for her feeling that way.

And Dawn felt ashamed as Buffy looked her over, then sick and sad as she watched everything pass over her sister's face and watched as tears started to form and she tried to get out how sorry she was. Dawn hurried to hush her and wrap her arms around her neck, whispering they were fine and how nothing was her fault.

And that turned to anger, hating her mother, her father and her life more than she'd ever imagined to before as she held her sister, the only strong one in the damn bunch, as she fell apart.

All because of them.

OoOoO

As they were asked to leave so they could check on Buffy better, Joyce noticed the change in Dawn. One that reminded her of the one in Buffy after she tried to free herself from this hell.

All that anger and blame just pouring out of her.

"One of these days, he's going to kill one of us. I hope you realize and understand that. I hope you also understand that it is sad to wish it was yourself. To pray to God constantly that he will just take pity on you and get you away from everything. I hope you understand that it's even worse when you hope it's someone else more, someone who you love more than anything, just so they're free from this shit that you landed us in," Dawn whispered angrily before trying to stomp off to her room.. only to take about two steps before smacking right into her father.

OoOoO

Bending down, in a dangerously low voice he whispered at her. "So, you want me to kill you.. but you want your sister taken care of first. Be careful what you wish for my little girl." He stood back up straight and smiled darkly. "Just keep that in mind," he said with an automatic chuckle for those who'd been watching them since Dawn almost screamed her heart out as she jumped halfway back down the hall as she noticed him. "Looks like the other one woke up," he said, growing closer to her room.

Suddenly, Dawn woke up in a sweat, a scream dying on her lips again.

She wished she was like other kids, having actual nightmares.

Not living them then reliving them again constantly in her dreams.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

"So... today is... Friday?"

The nurse smiled and nodded.

"And I've been here since... when? Tuesday?"

"The very early hours of it. You were in really bad shape."

"Yeah," she said sadly then thought of how bad Dawn must have been when she came in too. She was still banged up but apparently she'd been worse as well, even knocked out at first along with her.

There was several minutes in silence as Buffy tried to think, remember, deal and the lot as the nurse continued checking her out and cleaned up the room a bit. "Are any of my things here?" she finally asked, almost startling the nurse with it.

"Are any... oh, I really don't know. Your other has a few things I believe, I have no idea what they all are or who they belong to or anything like that..."

"Oh. Okay." Silence fell between them again and the nurse was about to excuse herself when Buffy interrupted again. "Do you have a phone book? One with numbers to Sunnydale."

"I can see if..."

"I'm trying to remember Angel's phone number but it's just not coming to me. I hope that's not something bad.. I did only have it for a short while and I'm already awful with numbers like that and.."

"Angel?" The nurse gave her a strange look and tried to spot the young girls mother to no avail. "Oh. Um... you may want to talk with your mother before you call."

"Um... why?"

"Your..." she sighed, "Your mother gave a list of people she did not want to know you were here. Angel was one of those names. I don't think she'd be too happy..."

"Excuse me? She did what?"

OoOoO

"Buffy? What's the matter? That nurse was frantic saying I was needed in here ASAP!"

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Buffy, what are you talking about?"

"Angel, mom. Angel. Seems like he just made the list," she held up one of the copies, "along with..."

Joyce snapped her mouth closed and stared down at the ground.

"I had this whole thing about yelling and screaming until I got what I wanted but then it sort of dawned on me that I already knew. That I've already been here with you. You just need a new excuse to go with the new town and new people who don't know a thing. You don't care who it is as long as it fits and steers everyone away from the truth."

"It's not like that."

"Yes it is. It's exactly that. When I got 'a new crowd of friends' it was like a light bulb went off in your head back then and you had a new, very perfect excuse for everything that happened. Mrs Summers, whatever happened to your daughter? It's that new group of no goods she's hanging out with these days. I don't know whatever got into her. I think they've got her on drugs or something. And you know they aren't nice kids at all, always getting into trouble. Just the other day she even got into a huge fist fight with that awful Faith kid again. And I think she's got a brother or cousin or something she's been seeing as well and I wouldn't doubt if... whatever came out, came out. Here's part two. You already know all about what everyone says about Angel and you know that they'd believe whatever you said. Everyone knows about me and him and would eat it all up right? I'll only be in here for another few days right? And all of this isn't going to be healed by then and it's not all covering up so... it's going to get noticed and draw attention."

"Buffy..."

Angry tears sprung into her eyes. "Get a new plan. As soon as we get home, it's over."

"You think breaking up with him is going to make it any better? Any less believable?"

"At first, no. it'll only help you. Maybe for a few months they'll still think it as oh he's just trying to get back with her or whatever. I don't know. But the thing is, all of this shit? It's never going to stop. And as it continues and continues it's going to seem less and less likely that it has anything to do with him. So I'd start working on a new plan for when that day comes."

OoOoO

Joyce peeked her head through the small glass window to the door and her heart broke at the sight. Buffy had been in there crying her own broken heart out for hours now. And Dawn, still looking scared shitless, was trying to calm her down.

The two just looked utterly hopeless.

She knew it wouldn't make any difference and it was still such a horrible thing, but she never had any intention to actually lie about anything. She would just sort of lead people to fill in the blanks. She could easily just mention that Buffy had been over at Angel's Monday night... trail off.. and mention the hospital came next, skipping out the whole middle which anyone could think what they wanted.

Yes, it was still a horrible thing to do. And it was painfully obvious how Buffy felt for this boy, which did not help anything at all. She just wasn't sure what else there was.

Feeling her own tears starting to form, she hurried away, down the hall to Dawn's room where she curled up in a tight ball on the hard bed.

OoOoO

Buffy felt no better as Saturday rolled in. She still felt like shit and she hated hospitals in the first place.

She wasn't on speaking terms with her mother and couldn't help but notice how jumpy Dawn seemed but wouldn't talk about it. And she still had a whole big mess of things waiting to be taken care of.

Like breaking up with Angel.

The last thing in this world she wanted to do. Just the thought of it sent a stabbing pain through her but what was worse is that she knew this would happen.

She was just powerless to stop it even though she knew it would just end up one big disaster.

That's all anything in her life ended to be. And it wasn't like it didn't have some big ass warning signs along the way.

'But do I ever listen? Of course not.'

And she knew it wasn't going to stop there either. It was only a matter of time before lost Willow and Xander and everyone else as well. Teacher's who might actually like her would change their minds, random people who had been somewhat friendly to her would change... everything would. It was just more of the waiting game.

OoOoO

"You shouldn't break up with Angel," Dawn said quietly as she toyed with a loose thread to one of the blankets on Buffy's bed.

"I don't want to," she whispered back.

"Then don't."

"We'll be back home and back in school sometime next week Dawn."

"Probably."

"And looking like this, everyone is going to automatically assume it's him. And given what this town has reacted this far, I highly doubt anything I say or do to try and prove otherwise will just be ignored. Sunnydale is a small town and they're not just going to look the other way. Everybody is going to know, everyone is going to think it was him, everyone is going to try and do something or throw their two cents in or whatever. And I can't even imagine how bad it would be for him. I can't do that to him."

"It'll make him look guilty."

"You sound like mom, but yeah, I know. This time it will look like he did something so I left, the next few times maybe we got back together and it happened again or the breakup wasn't being handled well or whatever they can think of, but sooner or later most people are going to have to come to their senses. Time keeps going by... Angel's been out of my life for the whole time since despite whatever they've made up, at some point that's gotta become obvious, and besides he's a senior and will be out of here off to God knows where and then what? Couldn't blame him anymore. He's been gone, it was never him, but we're still living like this." Buffy sighed. "And if I don't, then every time I show up with a new bruise or cut or limp or whatever, the finger's going to be pointed at him. Make it harder and harder to believe it was him then maybe..."

"He makes you happy."

Silence.

"I'm sure there's another way Buffy."

"Maybe. But he doesn't need to be dragged into this anyway. It's for the best."

Dawn had never heard her sound so hollow, empty. She'd never seemed so beaten down by anything before.

After Buffy fell asleep, Dawn quietly snuck out of the room and back to hers where she found her mother sitting in a chair in the corner staring out of the window. "Hey," she said cautiously.

Joyce turned and looked at her, a trail of tears down her face. She said nothing though, just turned back to the window.

"Dad around?" She hoped not.

"No," she said quietly, "I don't believe so."

"Oh," she shrugged and walked over to her bed, "okay. Buffy's asleep."

"She any better?"

"I guess, I don't really know. She's sad."

Joyce nodded. "Your father didn't mean what he said the other night."

"Yeah because we all know he'd never hurt us," she replied sarcastically.

Joyce looked at her again but decided not to reply.

Dawn wished she could apologize for yelling at her. She wished she could plea to leave Angel out of this. She wished she could convince her mother she was better than this, that they all were.

But nothing came.

Maybe she was just as bad as the rest of them. That was something that sure seemed to be true more and more with each and every time these things happened.

OoOoO

Dawn was released on Sunday. Buffy was told that if she kept improving she might be out of there herself by maybe even Tuesday or Wednesday.

It was a nice motivator for her.

Getting the misery over sooner sounded better than later so she worked as hard as she could to make sure she could get out of there as soon as possible.

It killed her to think of what was waiting for her but she really didn't want him to have to be more involved then what he was about to be dragged into. It wasn't fair to him at all and she seriously wished that she would have thought of all of this sooner. That maybe it would have been the one thing to make her stand her ground instead of giving in.

Now she just had to try and suffer whatever came. She honestly didn't know how she was going to though. It didn't seem possibly anymore.

OoOoO

And while Buffy spent the next few days trying to push herself harder and harder to prove she was good to go, Angel fell more and more apart with every day.

Somehow Jenny had gotten him to return to school but it didn't take long to realize how bad of idea that had been. He was like a zombie. He wasn't sleeping or eating, he wasn't talking, nothing. He was dragging his feet as he walked, completely sluggish with every move, he looked like a complete mess. She often spotted him by Buffy's locker, just running his hands down it, and during lunches he just sat underneath it quietly.

It broke her heart to see him like this but she knew of nothing to do.

During classes it became obvious he wasn't doing anything but sitting in his chair with his head down the whole time, just staring off into space.

In the few classes he would have with her he focused on where she should be instead though. And it tore her heart to shreds every day, watching him just so completely lost.

And if the situation had been different, she might have even found humor in the fact that more and people were starting to worry about him to, coming up and asking her this and that. She even saw Willow brave up and go try and even talk to him once but all she got was some blank stares and a shake of the head once.

OoOoO

She was released on Wednesday but instead of going home, the three of them got a hotel room. After getting the go ahead she didn't feel so ready anymore and couldn't face it yet.

Joyce wasn't pushing her and honestly didn't think she was ready anyway so was glad to give her a few days more of rest.

But on Thursday she used the room phone to call Lindeay and found out about Angel and Connor's visit and everything he knew. She was in hysterics by the end of the call and Dawn and Joyce were worried about her but after she finally calmed down she made up her mind.

She had to go home and deal with the demons waiting.

They both tried to talk her out of it but she wasn't having any of it.

They arrived back in Sunnydale Friday morning, only an hour or so before the sun came up.

OoOoO

Buffy stood before the mirror, horrified at the person staring back at her.

Sighing she kept one hand glued tight to the edge of the counter as she reached for her hairdryer and then went to work on getting dresses.

The hoodie she choose had been picked out due to the rather large size of the hood attached, it was pretty useful in hiding her face which she needed a lot of. She knew there wasn't enough makeup to hide the disaster she saw as a reflection.

After doing what she could, she went to work on practicing hiding any winces.

OoOoO

"You don't have to do this," Joyce told her softly.

"I can't avoid school forever," she replied, trying to keep her voice even but it was a challenge, "And I need a pretty public breakup with Angel right? Given he's even there anyway."

"Buffy..."

"We don't have all day," she cut in, her voice hard as her glare. She turned as fast as she could without causing any pain then started walking toward the door, working hard as she went to not give away her limp but this one wasn't wanting to hide at all.

OoOoO

Continuing to fight her limp and need to scream out or fall over or anything at all, Buffy kept her head down and her hands clenched as she tried to make her way up to the school.

Dread set in and the whispers began.

OoOoO

Everything disappeared.

There was only him.

There was only him as he reached her in record speed after first spotting her and getting over the shock and the self debate of whether he was just seeing things.

There was only him as he lifted her into his arms and took a few short steps, pushing her back into some random kids locker she'd been passing.

There was only him as her legs instinctively wrapped around him as well as her arms.

There was only him as his body pressed against her and she pushed back.

There was only him as his lips came crashing down on hers, all but devouring her whole.

There was only him as she grabbed fistfulls of his hair while pushing him down closer to her.

Everything else... gone. Just like that. The world faded around them and for the moment she forgot about everything else. Everyone else too. Her mother, having found her missing from behind her after it was too late, kids and teachers who had caught the act and stood there right along with her in a mixture of emotions. All gone. The hall, the building, the floor, the world... gone.

It was a nice feeling while it lasted.

Angel grabbed at her hips and her legs, moving them slightly so they fit more securly around him then one moved through the air, finally reaching the row of lockers and laid it on there flat.

He let the kissage linger for many more moments before he pushed her back more against the lockers and finally lifted his head to look at her, his heart breaking at the sight, his anger rising inside of him all at the same time all over again. His other hand slowly lifted to her face, slipping inside of her hoodie and cupping her cheek gently before bending back to her, his lips coming down softly upon hers.

It was a sweet, gentle, frightening tender kiss. It was the kind that every girl dreamed out. And it was what woke her up.

The tears started to form. "Angel.." she sobbed out, her hands trying to push him away.

His hands came up to wipe away her tears and he repeated the most heartbreakingly painful kind of kiss again.

Her mind screamed. This wasn't how this was supposed to go.

His head lifted again and their eyes met, she could pretty much see her own heartache in his. "Are you alright?" he asked, his voice softer than she'd ever heard it before. "I was so worried about you."

There was 'that kiss' again.

"I..."

"I called, I went to your house, I looked everywhere for you. I tried hospitals and the police. I went to your old high school even. I've been a complete mess. I haven't slept or ate or anything."

And again.

'No no no! Why is he doing this to me?'

"Buffy?"

She finally heard her mother's voice and turned to look at her but quickly looked away, hating what she saw.

Slowly she started pushing against him again. "Angel.. I can't.. we can't.. I need to go."

"Baby, I don't think you should be in school." He didn't think she exactly needed to be at home either. 'Buffy's home,' he felt a rush of anger rush through him, plans forming in his head.

"And I don't think I should be with you," she rushed out and felt like throwing up as soon as they had.

There was a flash of hurt. Then of anger. Finally one that was a mixture of both.

His eyes narrowed and his eyes darted across her face before stilling.

"What?" he demanded.

"I don't think we should be together anymore." Buffy could swear she felt the bile rise up in her throat.

"Buffy," he gritted out. He really didn't need to say more, that alone was all of it.

Sighing and tried not to go into another emotional breakdown she looked down, away from him. "People are going to think it was you," she whispered.

He honestly hadn't even thought about that. His head jerked back as if he'd been slapped. 'Shit.'

He forced his hardened features to soften then lifted his hand to her cheek again. "Is that what you plan on telling everyone?"

This time she looked like she'd been the one slapped by his words. "No! Of course not!"

"Then what's the damn problem? Okay, yes, I'm not to thrilled with the idea that anyone could think I would ever even think about doing anything to you.. but that's not exactly one of my biggest concerns in life, what these people think about me. I'm not exactly known for giving a shit about that in case you hadn't noticed."

"Don't brush it off like it's nothing Angel."

Angel clenched his jaw and took a few deep breaths. "If you're going to rip my heart out, you're going to have to give me a goddamn better reason."

"Why are you making this harder?"

His eyes narrowed, his face continuing to grow harder every second. "Why the hell should I make you trying to leave me easier?"

"Because it has to be okay?" she pushed against him again but his hands came up and pinned them to the lockers.

"No," his lips came down again, hard as his voice had been, stealing her breath with their intentiisty. And it didn't take long for her to get lost in him all over.

Angel stared down into Buffy's half open eyes and smiled, then it dropped and he turned to where Joyce was standing. In his mind there was now an evil smirk shining bright but on his face was his ever popular 'glare' that he was glad he got to use on this horrible woman after all. For the first time anyway.

He watched her throat close, her eyes widened, and one hand flew up. He enjoyed it for a moment. "Whatever it is you're doing here, go do it, but she's in no condition to be here," he growled out and she just stood there unblinking, unmoving. He looked her over for another moment then went back to Buffy, his face back in a loving smile. "You on the other hand are coming with me," he said, holding her tighter as he pushed off from the lockers. "Apparently I need to have a serious talking to with you."

"Angel.. I have to..."

"No, you don't. And you're not going to so stop even thinking about it."

OoOoO

"I thought this was supposed to be a talk," Buffy asked quietly, feeling nervous for more reasons than one.

They hadn't said another word since he'd pushed off from the lockers and she hurried to grab her fallen bag from the ground before wrapping back around him in a more secure position uncaring about anything else at the moment and just let him take her wherever it was he was planning to.

He stopped outside of two rooms, Jenny's and the one Connor had been in. Both times they had been surprised and relieved to see Buffy but as they tried to get over their shock and to ask her if she was okay, he'd cut them off and hurried to say whatever he needed to before turning away and finally walking out of the school and to his car.

He hadn't wanted to let her go but finally had gotten her into the car, taking great care in getting her there too. He kissed the top of her head and fastened her safty belt before closing the door and going to the driver's side. And he drove them back to his house in complete, nervous silence.

When they arrived, he got out, went over to her side, undid the safty belt and carefully picked her back up into his arms, carrying her inside.

Angel gave a quick smile her way. "In a minute."

The smile faded as quick as it appeared and he turned to search around the bathroom counter and in a few drawers looking for one of those ponytail holder things he knew Jenny had to have around somewhere.

When he finally found one, he turned back to her. His hand reached around to the back of her head and pulled the hood to her shirt down. He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head then his hands went to her hair, gathering it into a loose ponytail.

His hands slid back down to her face, cupping each side as he looked her over.

One hand raised up to her temple, brushing his fingers lightly over one of the more obvious signs of what had happened. He felt his heart clench and wondered how he was going to do the rest of this.

Sighing, his hands came down to the bottom of the hoodie and carefully pulled it off over her head. He let it fall to the floor and then went to work on the tee shirt and the long tank top she had underneath, giving them the same treatment.

Buffy's eyes flew down and she felt a chill. She also felt ashamed, more than she was sure she had ever before as he looked her over. She made no attempt to stop him though, made none to even try covering up.

After briefly looking her over, his hands were next at her pants, undoing the two buttons and then carefully sliding the zipper down. He bent down and untied her shoes, slipping them off, followed by her socks. He looked back up, his hands sliding that was as well, up the front of her pants until he reached her hips.

Slipping his thumbs inside, he started tugging them down, his eyes following the trail. He gently lifted each of her legs out of them and then tossed the pants into the pile with the rest of her clothes, minus the matching bra and panties she still had on, before standing back up.

His eyes slowly took her in, top to bottom, and his hands reached back out to her, gently clutching her waist. He took a step closer to her and felt her shiver, causing him to still. "Are you okay?" he asked her softly.

Buffy bit her lip, her eyes still cast downward but ready to spill with fresh tears and she shook her head no.

Angel took another step toward her, wrapped his arms around her and drew her closer to his chest. She buried her face to him and he could feel the tears sinking in through his shirt. He buried his own in her hair and rubbed her back, softly swaying and rocking her.

When he felt her somewhat calm down, he pulled away, one arm remaining around her, the other going to tip her head back to look at him. She looked so vulnerable, sad and lost. He leaned down to her, kissing her forehead, over each eyelid, the tip of her nose and then came 'that kiss' again.

His eyes slowly opened and looked her over again before sighing and taking another step away, reluctantly letting her go for a moment again as well. "I just want to make sure you're alright." It came out sounding like a question so she answered with a nod, her eyes going back down. His mouth twitched but nothing more came of that. Instead, his hands returned to her and he began checking her wounds out for himself.

Starting from the top, his hands reached back to her head. Starting from one side and going to the other, he would slowly run a few fingers over the top of her head, going from her hair line to the ponytail holder. His fingers would slip between the strands of gold, running through gently, tracing against her scalp searching for any bumps, bruises and cuts.

When he would find something, he'd fully inspect it, careful not to hurt her then continue down the line. He would reach the ponytail, bring his hands back to the front and scoot them over an inch and redo the process until he'd covered the whole area. Then he went around her, searching the back of her head much the same way.

When he finished there, he let her hair fall back out of the holder and searched again, looking for any spots he might have missed. When satisfied, he grabbed for a brush and carefully fixed her hair back into it.

Angel remained behind her as he turned his focus to her neck. He felt her shiver as he kissed a bruise placed there. He smiled against her, trying to remain calm still, and began searching to her shoulders and down her back.

Every cut, every bruise, every mark on her was fully looked at no matter how bad it looked, the shape or the size.

She shivered again as his hands slid flat down her back, light as a butterfly against her but she could feel the heat from him.

She did wince however as he brushed past one particulary black and blue area. He stopped, softly apologized, then looked it over again, asking questions as he nursed it to make sure he wasn't hurting her again.

His lips returned to her, planting a few light kisses along her spine, then let his hands fall to her hips. Angels fingers traced the line against the top of her underwear, meeting in the middle then going back out again. His fingers lightly skipped under to the top of the leg holes right underneath and inspected one thigh then the other.

He took a few steps to the side and bent down again, his hands running down her leg, tickling her some as he brushed the back of her knee. But he remained looking her over, taking his time, checking out every last detail before crawling over to give the other leg the same treatment.

Setting her foot back down, he reached a hand to each one of her legs and slid them gently back up, stopping mid thigh and then stood back up again. He wrapped his arms around her waist gently and kissed her neck, suckled on it causing her to moan, then trailed back to her neck. He licked a line from the middle to the top to her spine then kissed her again.

He smiled against her skin then reached over to the sink and some of the cabinets, searching for a few items, eyes were watching but she said nothing.

When he had what he needed, he went to work, cleaning some of the wounds... more properly than the hospital obviously had in some cases... and putting ointment on many of them as well as some light bandages on the more painful looking marks.

Throwing away the cotton balls and swabs and screwing caps and such back on, he slowly came back around to face her again.

"Angel," she whispered, meeting his eyes finally as she looked up.

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing to me?"

He smiled and brushed his lips against hers again. "Taking care of you." He smiled again as he lifted his head and went back to doing just that.

Starting back at the top, looking more into the nasty damage done to her temple, then covering every last inch of her face and down to her neck, which he made sure to stop and get a nice tasting in along the way as well. His tongue slid up one long, angry scratch and then nibbled at her ear, inches above, then came back down it.

His head lifted away again, his fingers slipping down, tracing her collarbone, down the exposed bits of her chest, then along the seam of her silk and lace bra. Seeing her nipples harden through the thin material he couldn't resist, his hands dropped down, cupping the heavy mounds, his thumbs brushing against the hard peaks making her moan and arch deeper into his palms. Also stirring some currently unwanted feelings in him.

Giving her a fleeting pinch to each, his hands came back up over her breasts, across her chest and did his best to turn his attention to her arms, down to her wrists and hands. "Is your finger broken?" he asked, eyes narrowed looking back up at her.

"They're fractured," she said pointing.

A flash of pain crossed his face but he brought her hand up to his lips before hurrying to properly tape them back up. The hospital had but it being bandaged up had bothered her, for some reason now though it didn't have the same effect and she smiled, whispering out an overdue thank you.

He just gave a small smile and went back to work, skipping down to her stomach.

Angel dropped back down to his knees in front of her and let his fingers run along her ribs, which has already been hurt for so long he was quite worried about what he might find. Thankfully though there was nothing deathly but knew she was in an awful amount of pain from those injuries alone. Hell, just the look of them was enough.

He asked if she wanted them taped up as well but she shook her head. He let it go, for now.

His hands touched every inch and she was sure his mouth had as well as he kept coming up to kiss or lick or nibble on her. It was one of the most damage bearing areas so it got plenty of his attention. She wasn't complaining.

Once again, his index fingers brushed across her panties, though his tongue was dipping in and out of her belly button at the same time this go around, making it much more of a pleasurable experience for the both of them. Her head was tilted back and her hands back in his hair, her mind picturing that same action going on a little lower, bring a blush to her face.

With a lingering kiss to her lower belly, his hands skipped down to her thighs again. He had a hard time focusing though. She was quite turned on by now and he was much closer and it was getting to him in the worst way. Not only could he smell her need but the crotch of her panties was slowly darkening.

Shutting his eyes tight, trying his best to to throw out all of those images, he pulled his head away and tried as hard as he could to search her legs again. However, as he finished and then let them run back up, he couldn't resist doing one little thing.

His hands stopped mid thigh again but as he went to stand up, he instead lifted up between her legs, causing them to open wider and his mouth went up to her, making her shriek as she could fully feel his lip, tongue and heat through the silk still covering her. One hand pushed hard against his head and the other grabbed desperately at the sink counter as she repeated "holy shit" a few dozen times as his tongue licked up and down her covered slit and then dipped inside, circling before another open mouth kiss and the removal that had her groaning at the loss.

Finally standing up, he smiled, almost smugly, a little dark too as he badly wanted to finish that little act properly, but he forced himself back to work again.

Grabbing his tools back, he finished working on her wounds, chuckling some as she was slightly still shaking against him as he went.

Placing everything back into the correct spots, drawers and cabinets, his eyes took her in again. He looked toward the pile of clothes by their feet, knowing he was supposed to put them back on her but really didn't want to.

Sighing, he lifted his own shirt off and then put it on her. He smiled at the sight then picked her up, bending down to grab all of clothes in the other hand and then placing them between their bodies, hoping nothing fell. He opened the door and flicked the lights off and started for his bedroom.

Now he had a talk to give.

Angel carried Buffy into his room and over to his bed, dropping her clothes off in a chair along the way, and got her settled in.

His hands lightly brushed against her face before standing back up, going to mess with his blinds a little bit, letting the room become a bit more brighter, than slipped his shoes off and joined her, gathering her back into his arms.

Buffy laid her head over his heart, her hands up against his chest. This was the only place in the world she ever felt safe.

Her eyes closed and she listened to his heartbeat, her mind focusing on nothing else but it and the warm, restless hands sliding against her body.

"Thank you," she murmured quietly. She wanted to say more but was afraid she'd only start with the crying again. And she knew already it was far from over and everything was probably only about to begin.

But she still... No one had ever taken that much care with her. Ever. For any reason, ever in her life. No one had ever made her felt that cared for, that loved. His hands always remained gentle, careful not to hurt her in any way as they sought out and inspected her every inch. It was heartbreakingly painful to stand through. His fingers carefully probed around every bump, danced lightly across any bruised, slid along any cut. Anytime she felt his hands on her after the first minute almost brought her to the point of dizziness. Every kiss was much the same. It was as if they each had meaning.

Open mouth kisses over every bruise, light brushes of his lips, nibbling and suckling unbroken skin, his tongue lightly dancing across her skin, sometimes sliding over a cut as his fingers often would. They were all like some determined plan. It was like.. everything he felt was just.. there. Seeping out with every touch, every kiss, every look. Nothing had ever been like this before.

Angel, still trying to think, calm down, still get over the shock of everything, just kissed her temple again as an answer.

Buffy let the pain shooting through her heart subside a little afterwards then spoke again, a thought coming to her. "You've done that before, haven't you?" she asked him softly.

Thinking she meant something else, "No, I can promise you that no, no I haven't."

Hearing his tone, understanding where his mind was she blushed but forced her eyes open and up to look at him. "I meant the other.. stuff. Checking me over. You've done that before?"

He looked uncomfortable all of a sudden. And hurt. "Yeah. Maybe not exactly the same way... but yeah, sort of."

The tone to his voice had her dropping it, not wanting to say or ask anything more. After everything else she really didn't want to make anything harder, hurt him any more than she already had managed to. So far. Than she might have to.

She did feel a little bit of a thrill also though as she remembered his first answer and what it seemed to mean. Smiling, she closed her eyes and buried her face back against him, whispering another thank you.

Angel peered down at her, taking in the sight, feeling his heart clutch again as he did. He just took her in, letting the silence remain for a long time. Neither of them minded. But finally he knew he had to break it.

"Buffy?"

Her eyes slowly opened and she tilted her head back again to look at him. That little lost girl look back in those eyes again.

"Wanna tell me what happened?" he asked softly.

Buffy looked back down, staring at his chest for a long moment. She planted a soft kiss over his heart then looked back up, and then softly scooted her body up towards him, laying face to face before slowly going into an answer. The best one she had anyway. She wasn't exactly sure about all of it herself after all. But, she did her best. Telling him about the ride home, the events, that she remembered, coming after they arrived, some of what she knew from being told from Dawn, then about the hospital, again some of what she knew from Dawn after she woke and she was still out then when she came back as well, the recovery... leading up to today.

Angel continued to brush away her tears and when she finished came 'that kiss' again in between her sobs, making them harder once his head lifted away.

She strangled trying to get out what she was doing back in school but he shushed her and his arms grew tighter around her as he just held her, letting her breakdown again.

Sighing, knowing she was calmed back down again, he cupped her cheek, tilting her head some. "And about me?"

Buffy wondered if he knew that every tear she was spilling was all because of him, because everything that happened lead up to him. Quickly looking away once more, she started to try to answer, starting back at waking up, going to the point where she would find out about her mother and going from there into one Hell of a mess, trying to explain her reasons, explain why she needed to do this.

"It's for the best Angel," she told him once again.

He shook his head, still disagreeing. "No. No, it's really not. Buffy, did you honestly think I was just going to be okay with this? That I was just going to stand there, letting you walk away from me like that?"

"Yes," she answered quietly.

Angel shook his head again at her. "I can't do that."

"Angel, I don't think you understand."

Angel leaned in closer to her, dropping a soft kiss before sighing, thinking for a moment. "Buffy, I fully understand that there is going to be a point where you honestly won't want to be with me. That you'll want nothing to do with me and most likely hate me for the rest of your life. For one reason or another, though I can think of one rather quickly that will set it in stone. But... but today isn't that day. And being afraid of what everyone is going to think at this point isn't going to work. You can say the words that both you and I both know you don't mean, but I'm not going anywhere. I can't. If I'm going to have to suffer through losing you, you're going to have to give me a better reason. Trying to look out for me... it's just not going to cut it."

"Angel..."

"You mean too much to me," he cut her off, "in case somehow you've missed that. That was ten days of pure, nothing but, hell. You weren't there. I found that out early on Tuesday and I had one hell of a bad feeling and went on a mad search for you, quickly panicking as I couldn't find you. Anywhere. For days and days. I was worried sick. Literally. I didn't know what happened to you and I was terrified to find out, unsure of everything. Connor, Jen and I all were. I looked everywhere I could think of, I went to your house, your mom's work, every where I know you might have gone then places on random, I went to the hospital, called about a thousand of them, called the morgue even and the police. I didn't tell them... I just asked if there had been any reports or any accidents and such. I camped outside of your house, praying for.. anything.. for a few hours every night. More than once I stayed the whole night. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't focus at all... I just kept thinking about you, terrified of what could have happened to you.."

"I'm sorry."

He sighed. "Buffy, I'm not blaming you. I'm not trying.." Again with a sigh. He pulled back some and ran a hand down his face. "I was worried. Buffy... I... I love you. I'm in love with you. And I'm pretty sure I have been since I met you in the library that day with you matching my glare and telling me I wasn't a damn librarian..."

Buffy's eyes widened, her throat started to close up and her heart pounded furiously against her chest. 'He what? He can't!'

In lightening speed, she jumped up from the bed, grimacing but trying to ignore the massive amount of pain shooting through her from it. "No, no, no," she muttered quickly.

Wrapping her arms around herself, for the pain as well as a case of massive shaking, she turned away from him and started clumsily for his door, her mind running a thousand miles a minute.

Angel remained there, watching her for a moment, but before she could leave he was turning her around, pinning her against the wood. "I wasn't finished," he told her before picking her up and bringing her back to the bed.

"Angel.. you can't.."

"I can, I do and I am."

"Angel..."

Laying her down on the bed, his body came down with her, laying carefully over her. His body positioned perfectly between her legs, his weight kept on his own arms, his head bending to capture her lips before she could say anything more. Lifting his head, he backed away from her some, his hands going down to where his shirt was bunched up around her and slowly lifted it up, checking to make sure she hadn't hurt herself with that little act.

"Angel.. I can't think when you do that," she whined, her body tingling all over again as he touched her with upmost care and sensuality.

He just smirked and let out a "hmmm," while probing mostly around her ribs and stomach for several minutes. Finally satisfied, he rubbed her stomach for another moment then slid the shirt back down to cover her, his body coming back to do the same also.

"I love you too much to lose you Buffy, especially over this. I can't. I understand where you're coming from on it, trust me, I honestly do.. I know you don't know that much about me and my past and everything but... I know what it's like Buffy, living in an abusive household. I know all about it. I know how bad it can get. And maybe that pushes the issue for me more, I don't know. But I can't... You can't just push me away and expect me to just let that happen, just stand by idly with a broken heart pretending nothing matters and that nothing is going on. You can't just come into my life out of nowhere, completely turn everything I know around, make me fall for you harder than I could have ever imagined, and then just expect me to let you go. Not now, not over Sunnydale gossip okay? I understand you're trying to protect me but I don't want it. It's not worth the cost of losing you."

"I don't want anything to happen to you," she told him, silent tears falling down her face that he wasted no time in brushing away.

"Nothing will. I'll take care of it alright?"

"How?"

He gave a soft smile her way. "Don't worry about it. I love you and am going to do everything in my power to make sure everything's gonna be alright." He gave her a quick kiss. "Whether you like it or not."

"Angel?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry."

His head dropped once again. "Don't break my heart and there's nothing to be sorry about."

Her head and her heart were screaming at her, both voicing their opinions, both driving her insane. Everything about this was painful, breaking her heart, eating at her soul. She felt sick, awful and ashamed.

She looked back up at him, feeling like she could die from the look she saw in them alone. "I'm so sorry..."

OoOoO

It was a few hours later when school had finally let out and Connor came bursting into Angel's room, still unsure of how he even made it through the day.

Quickly quieting himself, his face turned into a broad smile as he looked at the picture the two of them were making. They were both asleep, even after his little entrance, completely wrapped up in each other. Angel still had that look on his face and it wasn't hard to tell his arms must be like steel around her but he looked content. Buffy looked like a wreck, that wasn't hard to see, but... lying there she looked completely happy and at peace.

"Connor? What are you doing?" Jenny whispered harshly behind him.

He turned around and gave her a smile. "Nothing. Just checking," he said then started for the door, quickly closing it behind him.

OoOoO

Beeping.

Angel opened one eye at the noise, staring around as much as he could without having to move or really focus, trying to figure out what the hell was making that noise. He groaned softly once he realized he wasn't finding out that way and tried harder, finally finding the source.

Lifting Buffy's arm up, he looked over at her watch, checking the time then looking for how to make it stop. It took a few minutes but finally he managed.

Dropping her arm back down, he let himself relax back against her, his face burying into her neck, his lips wasting no time finding their way to her skin. Her body wasted no time in responding and she started rocking against him in her sleep. His deep growl had her eyes popping open though.

"You were beeping."

"Huh?" she asked then moaned as his hand slid down to her ass, gently pushing herself against him again as she'd stopped the moment she woke up, realizing what she'd been doing.

"Your watch."

Trying to think through her very hazy mind she finally remembered. "Oh.. right... pills" she panted out, her body moving on its own free will at this point.

Angel bit down on her neck then pulled away, understanding her groan by his actions. He grabbed at her wrist and checked the time again. "Where?"

"Huh?"

He looked her over and then chuckled at the picture she was making. "Do you have them with you?" He hoped she did, not wanting to take her home... well, ever.

"Bag," she breathed out.

He chuckled again. "Alright. I'll be right back.," he said and started to slowly pull out of the warm bed. A movement from the corner f his eye got his attention though and he groaned as she slipped off his shirt and threw it at him with a sleepy, but playful smile.

"Might need that."

His eyes swept over her. Battered and bruised she was still the most perfect thing he had ever witnessed.

Buffy pulled the blankets back around her and closed her eyes with a smile. "Hurry back?"

"Uh.. uh huh."

Her smile grew. "Thank you."

He slipped the shirt on and came around to the other side of the bed, bending back down over her. "I love you," he whispered against her forehead, hating leaving her for even a moment.

Buffy turned, her hand going up to the back of his head and bringing his lips down to meet hers. "I love you too, Angel," she whispered and he felt his heart explode just as it had hours before the first time she told him that.

There was crying, explaining, apologizing, and one hell of a confession. And nothing had ever been more... he didn't even have a word for it.

"I'll be right back," he told her again and slowly started making his way toward the door, knowing she'd left her bag in the car earlier. He gave her a last look then headed out into the hall, trying to slip past his family members and just hurry back to his girl.

Buffy had fallen back asleep so he quietly came back in, locking the door so he could keep Connor out, and then slowly slid back into the bed. He brushed a few strands of her hair out of her face then started messing with her bag. Not wanting to break some personal space rule he just reached in, digging for whatever might be what he was looking for then would pull the bottles out, reading over the labels and instructions and everything else he could get from them.

"Mmm," Buffy moaned out, waking up. Her hand reached out to the bottle in his hands and then for one of the others. "I have to take these two at the moment."

He tilted his head down at her. "Alright." His hand reached over to his nightstand and grabbed the glass of water he'd gotten for her on the way back in. "Here you go."

She smiled and took it from him, slowly getting more comfortable as she sat up, wrapping the blanket more securely around her before taking a sip. Angel opened the bottles for her and placed the correct amount in her palm and then stashed them away as she took them. Handing the glass back to him she thanked him again, receiving his thumb then his lips brushing against hers as a response.

"Hungry?"

"Mmm. Not really."

"Still tired?"

She nodded then pushed away from him some, slipping back down into the bed. She lifted the covers up and patted for him to join which he wasted no time in doing, gathering her back into his arms. Her head fell on his chest but frowned and pulled back again, this time tugging at his shirt, trying to get it off of him. She smiled as he helped finish the job and ignored his attempt to put it back on her, laying back down and snuggling close. Angel lifted his eyebrows for a moment then flung the shirt down to the floor, letting his hands fall back down to her.

It was dark the next time Buffy woke up.

She relaxed and enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms for a long period of time before, with a lot of work put into it, turning slightly to flick on the small lamp by the bed, her eyes squinted and one hand over Angel's so not to wake him. Finally figuring it was okay, she slowly opened them and turned completely back to the half naked man she was using as a part-pillow and part-blanket.

Buffy lifted her hand out from under the covers and brought it up to his face, her fingers lightly brushing over his features, studying every detail. "Thank you for not hating me," she whispered, her fingers hardly touching him as they traveled down his nose and then down to his lips.

"Baby, why would I hate you?" he asked, his eyes still close, making her jump slightly.

"Oh no, did I wake you up?"

"No," he drew the tip of one of her fingers into his mouth, sucking at the tip. "Why do you think I'd hate you?"

"I don't know... everything?"

His eyes slowly opened, meeting hers, sending an all too familiar shot through her entire body.

As her nipples hardened and he felt them easily poking against his chest, he lowered his eyes toward the blanket. He smiled but also thought how glad he was he wasn't poking against her with anything of his. Yet.

His eyes returned to hers and he leaned closer to her, happily satisfying her need to taste him. And with knowing she was going to need to leave soon, she was the first to deepen the kiss this time, taking control which he was happy to grant.

Her tongue swept in, wasting no time in exploring, as her body slowly lifted, one leg swinging carefully over him and crawling on top of him.

OoOoO

"Angel.. I.. I.. Shit, Oh God.. I should re.. really be... God... going home now.." Buffy panted. Her hips were back to moving all on their own, pressing and rubbing hard against the nice tent forming in Angel's pants under her. Her hands were clutching at the sheets while his were occupied with her now bare breasts. She was a little foggy on how this all happened but honestly couldn't have cared less.

Angel moaned then his tongue came out, licking along her throat. "Stay." Angel moved slightly under her and she shuddered at the contact, more than tempted by the offer.

"Want... can't..." was all she was able to get out.

Angel's hands slid down her stomach then up to her ass. He grasped them firmly then slammed her down against his hardening cock that was dying to be released more with every second. He closed his eyes tightly and slammed his head hard against the headboard. Buffy bit her lip, drawing blood, trying not to scream.

Angel smiled darkly as Buffy collapsed against his chest. A second later though his eyes rolled back in his head and he wished there was something he could do about the massive pain he was still feeling in his pants. "Why can't you stay?" he asked through a clenched jaw.

"Just... be on... safe side."

He groaned. He knew he wasn't actually going to let anything happen like this between the two of them but he really didn't mind all the teasing and petting anyway. He knew it was all already crossing a lime but couldn't help it. "Alright," he finally said and rolled her back down to the bed. He reached over the side, trying to ignore everything, and reached for her clothes.

OoOoO

It took almost forever for her to manage getting dressed and cleaned up enough to face anyone else, not exactly something she wanted to do but knew she had to. She was glad Angel didn't push her on anything about why she was going home and what she needed to do with that whole part of her life.

She knew it wasn't a dead issue though.

She shyly spoke with Jenny and Connor for a few minutes before leaving, hearing more about the hell she'd put Angel through, breaking her heart a little more. She thanked them a million times, told them she was fine and not to worry and promised to come back over the weekend before finally getting out of there.

Angel picked her up and carried her out to the car as he had earlier, this time a little less sad, upset and serious. Thankfully. And she was much the same.

He shut the car off and she scooted over to him, settling in his arms and having another quick talk with him as he made sure he made it clear he wasn't putting up with any of it. Which she was. And couldn't have been happier about it. A complete turn around from earlier today and well since she woke up really. She was still worried and felt horrible but everything was different once seeing him and being around him, listening to him and everything else.

She needed him, finally realizing how much and she knew he needed her as well. Everything just made sense again. It was clearer.

Climbing as much as she could back onto his lap, she wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him in for one hell of a goodnight kiss. "I love you," she whispered softly.

Angel tugged gently at her hair, bringing her back down to him. "Mmm. You too."

"God I wish I could spend the night wrapped up in your arms instead," she pouted.

"No one said you couldn't."

She groaned and kissed him once more before pulling herself away. "Thank you.. for everything. I'm so sorry..."

His hand cupped her cheek, his eyes burning into her. "I love you," he repeated.

She smiled then hurried out of the car before she started everything up again and never got out. She walked the rest of the short way to her driveway then turned back cautiously and waved.

She bit her lip then turned back to the house and headed inside.

When she finally got past her mother and Dawn, Buffy went to the bathroom and then finally made it to her room. She closed the door, locked it then flicked on the light.

She almost screamed when she turned around, finding Angel in her bed, his hands behind his head, his shirt and shoes obviously kicked back off, and a large smirk on his face. "Hi," he greeted cheerfully.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

"Angel, what are you doing?" Buffy whispered, still shocked. This was quite unexpected. He continued with his smirking and shrugged. "How did you get in?" she asked, her eyes darting from him to the window then back, narrowing.

"Window?"

"It's locked."

"I sort of... broke in... uh... again.."

"Again?"

"I was worried about you!"

Buffy shook her head at him, smiling ridiculously. She looked over the picture he was making there all nice and comfortable in her bed then bit her lip, turning away from him, heading for her dresser. And, giving him quite the show, she slowly undressed, changing into a new tank top with a matching thong.

She bit her lip again and turned back around, seeing his approval clear in his glued to her eyes. "Should I have even bothered with getting dressed?" she teased, pushing off from the dresser to go flick the light off.

"I promise to behave," he told her though his eyes seemed to be telling a completely different story.

She looked over her shoulder. "Uh huh." And she turned the light off then came sauntering over to the bed, turning on a small lamp as she crawled in under the covers and snuggled back up to Angel's warm body. "Stay the night?"

"If you want me to."

"I do," she whispered, placing random kisses across his chest. Angel just smiled and wrapped his arms tighter around her, pulling her slightly closer and kissed the top of her head.

OoOoO

Blood.

Blood. Blood... even with everything so perfect.

Blood.

It came.

He couldn't understand it. If any night should have been free, this should have been.

Apparently... that wasn't the case as he bolted awake, his heart racing, his body in cold a sweat, his breathing in harsh pants.

Blood.

Blood blood blood blood blood.

Everywhere.

Still.

Angel mentally screamed and shut his eyes tightly then carefully moved Buffy off of him and sat up, running a shaking hand down his face, the other still gripping at the sheets.

Buffy sleepily rubbed her eyes and tried to figure out what was going on. She looked at the clock, the numbers still kind of blurry, then up at Angel. Something wasn't right, she knew that right off the bat.

"Angel?"

His head slowly turned toward her. "Sorry baby. Go back to sleep," he whispered, trying to sound and look as calm as he possibly could. He knew it wasn't working as well as he'd hoped though.

Buffy sat up slightly and reached her arm out, placing a comforting hand to his back. "What's wrong?"

His hand came and pulled hers off of his sweat covered back and into his own, bringing it up to his lips and dropping a light kiss on her knuckles. She found his lips to be as freezing as his hand.

"Bad dream."

"Want to talk about it?" she offered.

Angel looked down and shook his head slightly. His hand started shaking again and hers fell back down to the bed, he turned away and buried his head in his unsteady hands.

Buffy watched him for a long moment before getting up on her knees and going over to him. She kissed his back, his shoulder blade then his neck before her hand came around, tilting his head back to her. She wanted to cry out at the look in his eyes as they met hers. He looked so different... so beyond hurt... lost... and terrified. Really, very terrified.

She had a feeling he really wasn't going to talk about it and that pushing it wasn't the way to go so instead she steadied herself the best she could and then pulled him up to her.

He didn't even hesitate in going to her or in matching her hunger as she attacked his lips with brutal force. Moaning softly, he pulled her against him, his hands tangling up in her hair.

Soon they lowered, going to massage her neck, then running down her back, moving in slowly circles, then slipping under the small tank she'd worn to bed. Angel lowered to her neck, suckling and nibbling on the sensitive flesh, one arm holding her waist, his other hand sliding up her spine, sending shivers through her entire being.

His hand trailed down again, lowering and lowering until he could feel the top of her flimsy excuse of undergarments. He slipped two fingers along the tiny strip, running them down between her perfect globes before reversing and before he could, Buffy reached between them, dragging her top off and throwing it carelessly to the side. Angel smiled darkly and lifted her, her legs wrapped around his waist and he moved across the bed, still on his knees, placing her back down to where she had been sleeping minutes before, his own body falling down with her.

Angel knew this was wrong, really, very wrong but he couldn't stop it even if he wanted to.

At least until he felt her hands...

Angel's head turned so quick you'd think he'd broke something and buried it into his arm, biting down. Hard. Buffy continued rubbing the front of his jeans and he felt himself involuntarily jerk forward. Her blush went unnoticed and uncared by herself as her fingers slipped upward, working on unfastening the offending article of clothing.

Angel's eyes rolled back into his head, unable to stop her as she unbuttoned his jeans and carefully slid the zipper down before slipping her tiny hands inside.

Mentally arguing with himself, he reached down and removed them. His hands gripped her wrists and lifted them back to the bed, pinning them down on either side of her head. The lower half of his body started working all on its own again and pushed hard against her, making them both moan at the contact.

"Angel," Buffy's voice came out in a whispered whine. One he could identity with. Her hips rocked against him and he was surprised he didn't lose it all right then and there. "I wanted to touch you," she continued without thinking. When it hit her her eyes went wide and felt her face burn with embarrassment.

Angel had wanted her to, too.

Angel let out a deep rumbling groan and his grip got tighter around her wrists. He closed his eyes as tight as he could and tried to block a thousand images running through his mind out. Doing his best to finally remember why that would be such a bad thing, he loosened the grip and a bit mournfully shook his head at her before capturing her almost too pouty lips.

He massaged her wrists for a moment then let his hands slip over to her hair, running through it softly, then down her throat, her chest and began torturously teasing her breasts for the next few minutes.

Buffy whimpered as they left her, sliding lower, tickling down her stomach the going to her hips. He nibbled on her bottom lip for a moment then slowly lifted up. His eyes traveled slowly down her half naked body, stopping on the one small piece covering her most intimate area.

Again came a very loud mental match.

Ignoring the side he knew he should be listening to, Angel looked up at her face as he hooked his thumbs into the sides of the tiny black thong. Both sucked in their breath as he slowly slid it off, completely exposing her. His hands wrapped around her ankles before the garment even hit the floor.

OoOoO

All Buffy could hear was her own heartbeat. She couldn't even hear her moans over the fast paced thumping.

A wet kiss to her knee before moving up, his hands sliding up to her kneecaps. A second before they were pressed together nervously, now slowly opening, inviting him closer, deeper.

Her eyes burned into him, watching him become dangerously close to the one place she needed to feel him the most right now.

Buffy tensed as his hands came up to the top of her inner thighs. He looked up at her from under his lashes and admired how perfect she looked for a long pause.

Keeping his eyes on her, one hand twisted down and slowly he lifted his thumb, running it gently over the crease of her thick lips. Buffy's head fell back down to the pillows as his thumb circled around her clit as his tongue dipped inside.

As her entire body shuddered, he continued. He gently pressed her legs open wider and dove deeper into her. Buffy arched her back higher and her hips moved against him without permission.

Pulling herself up, with great difficulty, Buffy peered down at him, watching as he brought the whole term of eating a girl out into a new light. Then she noticed a movement out of the corner of her eye. Trailing down to the source she noticed one of Angel's hands missing... but it didn't take too long to refind it.

As he worked his magic on her, his hand had fallen into his lap, moving in rhythm with his tongue. Buffy's eyes widened as she watched, taking everything in. Slowly her mind began to wander, she closed her eyes and began to imagine...

"Oh God!" She fell back down to the bed and reached for a pillow, clutching it hard over her face as she screamed into it.

As the stars and dizziness slowly subsided she began to realize something... he still hadn't stopped.

She grabbed at the pillow again and wondered how much more she could take.

OoOoO

Angel groaned as he removed his hand from his needy cock. Ignoring the pain he was growing accustomed to from all this getting worked up and not being taken cared of, he slid his hand under her, grabbing her ass.

His mouth and other hand had changed positions, one then two fingers were pumping in and out of her, his tongue working furiously on her clit. Buffy had wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer as she squeezed as hard as she could, moaning incoherent pleas. She almost arched completely off of the bed as he sucked the hard bud and completely fell out of control as his teeth gently bit down.

Buffy felt the world fall away around her. Her body was singing and she was back to seeing stars. And she really didn't care.

Waves of pleasure continued to crash hard throughout her entire body and she would have been happy to ride them out forever. She could live with blissful numbness.

When the world finally did come back to her, Buffy searched Angel out who was now laying beside her. He had a mixture of emotion on his face. A satisfied smirk lightly showing through as well as pain as he shoved his erection back into his jeans.

"You didn't finish," she panted.

Angel's head turned toward her, his smirk growing. He rolled to his side and slid a hand to her breasts, pinching her nipple as he attacked her neck.

"I didn't?" he asked, his hot breath against her throat, "I'm pretty sure you woke the entire neighborhood up, screaming my name out as you..."

Buffy blushed. "I'm not talking about me," she cut in, blushing harder.

Angel groaned and lifted his head, dropping a hungry kiss on her very swollen lips. "Mmm. Want your clothes back?"

"Angel..."

He kissed her again, softer. "I'll survive. Do you want your clothes?"

"No," she finally replied.

Angel smiled, kissed her again, the pulled her into his arms.

"Angel..."

"You should try and get some sleep," he whispered against her ear.

He thought he'd better too before he did something else for her to hate him for later. Sighing, he reached and pulled the covers over them.

Thankfully, no more nightmarish memories of his past came. Unfortunately, one erotic fantasy with the naked blonde in his arms came after the other, not exactly helping out his pain filled situation.

Angel looked out of the window, noticing the sun was probably going to be up soon. The alarm clock by her bed that he could somewhat make out confirmed it.

Sighing he looked down at the still sleeping Buffy. His hand went through his hair gently, careful not to disturb her. He knew she meant everything in the world to him and how bad he was going to be off in the end, but right now... he loved her, she loved him, life was perfect.

Well, in theory.

He had plans of fixing it and making that true though.

Sill ever so careful not to wake her, he gently lifted her off of him and down to the bed. He sat up and tucked the blanket more securely around her before slipping off of the bed. He gave her a longing look then went to quietly search for the rest of his clothing and hers.

Angel slipped his shirt back on and sat down in a chair in her room to put his shoes and socks back on. It took him longer to find hers but finally he did. Folding them, he laid them on the bed in his place.

Holding the clothing he knew she should have been wearing but wasn't didn't exactly help anything either.

Stepping away from the bed quickly, he began searching around for something to write on, not wanting to just escape off into the night. But with the room still rather dark he had trouble seeing which lead to him knocking into something on the floor.

He managed to keep his cursing under his breath but she was still woken by the noise.

"Angel?" she whispered, her voice full of sleep. "What are you doing?"

"Shit," he muttered, keeping them under his breath seemed useless at this point. "Sorry, didn't meant to wake you. Again."

"It's okay," she replied with a yawn. Holding the blanket tight, she sat up against the headboard. "Are you leaving?"

He came back over to her, sliding across the bed, finding her lips with his own. "Yeah," he whispered.

She gave him a pout but knew he should probably be out of there before he got caught. Still, she didn't want him to go.

"Can I see you later?"

Buffy nodded. "I'll find a way," she told him with a hint of a smile. He returned with one of his own before kissing her softly again.

"If I don't leave, I never will."

"I like the sound of that."

Angel groaned. "You're killing me."

"I know," she teased, reaching out one hand and pulling his head down to her. "I'll see you later?"

He groaned again. "You better," and somehow he managed to pull himself away and back off the far too tempting bed.

Buffy watched as he walked away, going over to open the window and climb out of it. He closed it behind him but then reopened it a second later, sticking his head it.

"I love you." He smiled and before she could respond the window was shut again and he was trying to make his way back down to the ground.

Buffy smiled and snuggled into the covers, biting back a squeal of complete, insane, unnatural happiness. In the distance she could hear his car, at least she assumed it was his, and began counting down the minutes until she'd see him again.

OoOoO

Buffy groaned as the pounding on her door continued. She was perfectly happy with just laying in her warm and cozy bed, one that still smelled like Angel, and she could still almost feel him too.. which she was having a nice little fantasy going with that too until the loud pounding came crashing the party.

She still really didn't want to get up though.

She let her mom go for another few minutes before mumbling she'd be there in a second.

She slowly crawled out of the bed and hurried to throw some clothes on, she checked herself in the mirror quietly and blushed at what she was. She could have been wearing a giant, blinking sign but it wouldn't have compared.

She hurried to make herself as presentable as she could and then finally opened the door. "What?"

Joyce narrowed her eyes angrily. "Downstairs. Now."

OoOoO

Buffy knew she was pissing her mother off. She was kind of secretly enjoying it too. Every time she'd ask something, Buffy would just either ignore her or tell her the honest truth. Neither option was Joyce too fond of.

Buffy just smiled and shrugged through it all, remaining as calm as she could.

Finally, after a little explotion, she just sat there fuming. Buffy sat in the tense silence for awhile then finally just got up and left to go take a shower and try and think of a way she'd get out of here and spend some time with Angel.

As soon as possible.

OoOoO

Joyce believed it when Buffy told her that Angel wasn't going anywhere. She wasn't sure how she felt about it honestly, but she believed it. She hadn't given it much thought earlier, she was just putting a plan together. Simple. She hadn't taken in how he'd respond. Another sad fact about her, she hadn't cared. She just thought of something and went with it.

Now she had it on her mind though. There was still that part of her she hated that was almost rejoycing.. for all of the wrong reasons, but there was a small part of her felt even better about the kid. And that hurt even worse if she thought any more about it.

It was just a big complicated mess that she had no idea how to clean up. Hell, she never even tried.

Joyce sighed and then shook her head, trying to clear her head a little. Her eyes began to wander around the area, looking over items and such on the walls and shelves. She stopped on a picture from her wedding though. It almost sent chills down her spine just looking at it.

She was the spiting image of her own mother, she knew that. She even acted like her, down to how she treated her children and just everything else. She could hardly believe it though.

She'd grown up living in her own Hell, swearing she wouldn't make the same mistakes, yet, here she was.

She swore over and over that she would never be like her mother. That she would find a good man, a good husband, someone who was nothing like her father. That she would never live in fear like her mother had. That she wouldn't be weak, that she'd always be strong. That she'd have a nice family that she'd never put in danger. She'd be the perfect wife, the perfect mom.

Life didn't exactly go as planned.

OoOoO

When Buffy came back downstairs she found her mother on the couch, a large pile of photo albums scattered about. And she was crying. She looked absolutely a wreck. She was sad and lost, confused even. She look defeated, empty.

Buffy narrowed her eyes and looked around for any clues of what might be going on, finding none she finally stepped closer to take a seat. "Mom? You okay?" she asked softly.

Joyce nodded, one hand going to wipe a line of tears away. Her head lifted up, her red eyes met her daughter's concerned ones. Joyce gave a small smile then scooted a little closer to her, putting the album in her lap half on Buffy's a pointed to the first photo of them together. "That's you and me kiddo."

Buffy looked down and couldn't help but smile at it. "Yeah," she breathed.

"I was just happy you were okay," she said, remembering that horrifying day her first daughter was born.

"Why, because I was born premature?" she asked, her voice a little harsher than she would have liked.

Joyce nodded sadly. "You can thank your father for that," she said, her voice was both sad and bitter.

Buffy pursed her lips together and looked down, not wanting to say anything else at the moment. What was there to after all. Buffy knew the story, heard it enough times. She was still surprised she'd made it out alive herself.

Joyce sighed and looked through a few more pages before breaking the silence. "You love him, don't you?" she asked.

Buffy lifted her head up, giving a confused look.

"Angel," Joyce clarified.

"Oh..." Buffy almost blushed. This wasn't expected. "Yeah, I do. I really... really do," she finally said then bit back a smile from just having said the words.

Joyce nodded. "He's nothing like your father," she stated, Buffy answered it like a question though.

"No."

"That's good."

Again Buffy remained silent as Joyce just looked over the pictures and thought about a lot of things. She used to wonder how she'd ever fallen in love with anyone after everything she'd been though. Later she realized she had just wanted out.

She got married quick, moved away and never looked back. But now Buffy... she knew that was a different story. Sure, she wanted out but she wasn't leaving anyone behind. Not like she had. Buffy wasn't looking for an escape, wasn't looking for anything. That's what scared her for so long.

It didn't help when the moved and Buffy went through her latest change, she thought it might have even made it worse to see. But now... somehow Buffy had in fact found someone. And here she was trying to ruin the one good thing her daughter might ever have.

Joyce looked through the rest of the book, stopping to recall old memories and just stare at her favorites. She let her mind think about old times, her past, Buffy's past and possibilities of Buffy's future. At least a somewhat happy present.

She got to the last page then flipped it close, laying it on a small pile she'd formed. She tilted her head towards her daughter and sighed as she heard Dawn calling for her upstairs. She flashed a sad smile Buffy's way then stood up.

Joyce was at the top of the stairs before she came back to stand in front of Buffy, she leaned down and kissed the top of her head, her hand running through her hair for a moment.

"I'm glad he makes you happy," she whispered then kissed her crown again, "Don't ever let him hurt you in any way," she said then pulled away, heading toward her younger daughter up the stairs, leaving a very confused Buffy on the couch below.

Joyce went and helped her youngest daughter with her miniture crisis then went to get ready to go into work after all. She really didn't feel like staying home with everything going on. Joyce quickly went and changed, did her best to cover up any signs of what had taken place last week, came out to her room to make a phone call then went to go get the girls to see if they wanted to go down to the shop with her, trying not to let her mind think about what it really needed to.

Dawn agreed to go and then went to go get ready herself. She was having a late start today as it was.

Joyce headed back downstairs and sat back down next to Buffy on the couch and sighed. She looked her oldest daughter over for a moment. Joyce tried to tell Buffy she was happy she and Angel hadn't broken up without getting into a fight but Buffy started arguing that of course she was happy, but for all of the wrong reasons. All the former reasons she might have had. But Joyce shushed her and then tried to explain what she really did mean, that she was happy because she knew how much Angel meant to her and she knew how much it would and how it was hurting her before. And she honestly didn't want that.

She tried to explain she was sorry for not only everything with him but for everything but she knew that was wasted breath so gave up on that quickly and sighed, going back to just trying to tell her she was sorry for her actions and she was just happy her daughter was happy. That she'd stay out of the way on this.

Joyce tried to explain she didn't want Angel to be a fall guy, that even though she didn't know him at all, she knew he deserved better than that. As did she. And that she'd think of something.

They both knew it really didn't matter what was said or done in some ways and to a lot of people, but it was a little something.

She knew Buffy was being hurt enough, that she'd always been, she just didn't want to add to it like this. She was a young girl in love and she didn't want to be the cause of ruining that for her anymore. It was a great gift and she knew it was something special even if not from her own experience.

She knew her daughter deserved better than all of this too. And maybe this was just one small good thing she'd ever do. She knew it didn't take away everything else, but it was something.

At least she hoped.

Buffy didn't know what in the world to think. She was shocked, disbelieving, skeptical, worried, happy, confused... everything by the sudden change. She didn't know what in the world to make of it.. but... if it were true, if it were real then she couldn't explain how happy she was. And how even more worried she became as well.

It was just one big confusing circle she was sure she'd never figure out.

OoOoO

Buffy came along as well down to The Espresso Pump. She hung out there for awhile then finally left as her mother kept trying to shoo her out, telling her she knew she wanted to go see Angel so she should go. She figured she could question her mother's changes later, seeing Angel wasn't something she really wanted to wait for instead.

She smiled and said she was leaving, stopping to talk with Dawn for a moment, see if she wanted to come along, and ignored all of the not so subtle looks they all kept getting from everyone.

It wasn't anything new, nothing she hadn't dealt with before, she was just fed up with it.

That helped with the decision to leave as well.

OoOoO

Buffy bit her lip and rung the doorbell and waited a few moments for it to open. She watched as Jenny's eyes grew wide and a smile graced her face as she greeted her happily and obviously quite shocked.

She stepped out of the way and helped her inside, Connor rushing into the room as soon as she was and they both started questioning how she was and what happened.

Buffy wasn't upset in any way that Angel had told them about her dirty little secret. If anything, she felt embarrassed and sad, but that was also nothing new in her life.

Buffy softly told them a brief description of what happened, what she remembered anyway, then about the hospital stay and some of what happened yesterday when asked. A lot of it of course was left out, but she assured them and herself that everything was alright.

Jenny offered to get her something to eat but she smiled and said she just ahd something down at the shop and then asked about Angel. Jenny told her he was in his room, most likely still asleep, and told her if she wanted, she could go on down there. She tried to hide a light blush forming on her face and thanked her before standing up.

Connor was up half a second later though and grabbed her into a tight hug. Buffy swallowed and stood there shocked for a moment. Connor backed away and smiled, saying he was glad she was okay. She still felt too overwhelmed and hardly made out another thank you.

Connor hugged her again and gave a short description of the past week, mostly about their trip to Hemery which he made sure to let her know he never wanted to do again more than once. She laughed and said she could understand, thanked him again then slowly made her way down the hallway to see if she couldn't wake Angel up already.

She had a few good ideas on how.

OoOoO

A slow smile formed on Angel's face as he was greeted by his favorite blonde goddess lying on his bed next to him as he slowly awaken, he shifted his body slightly and reached a hand up to cup her cheek. "Hi," he greeted sleepily.

Buffy smiled and bent down to give him a soft kiss. "Hi," she whispered back. "Morning."

"Indeed," he smiled, more than happy to see her, "What are you doing here babe?"

"Your door was unlocked," she told him as she started slipping in closer to him and Angel just smiled again and wrapped his arms around her.

Angel knew he probably had forgot to lock his door earlier, his mind was still pretty much on other things when he got home. After a cold shower though he found himself tired from one hell of a day and just crashed.

He was pretty happy for it now. This was a pretty nice way to wake up.

Angel rested his chin against the crown of her head, just taking her being back in his arms again in for a moment. "What about your mom and everything?" he finally asked, rubbing and massaging down her back.

Buffy sighed. "That's a long story, one that I'm still pretty unsure about myself." Buffy tilted her head back up and started to tell him about her mother's weird behavior since this morning. By the end of it she felt even more confused just from explaining it and Angel wasn't too far behind.

They continued trying to figure out what the deal with that might be for awhile but were both glad when they finally changed the subject onto something else.

OoOoO

Connor was the only reason the two of them ever left his room, more importantly his bed, but the younger Angelus boy wasn't having any of it. Not that he really knew what was going on in there but in any event he wasn't into the idea of them being all locked away together right now.

Much to both Buffy and Angel's disappointment.

Buffy really wasn't into the idea of going out and doing anything. She felt a lot better than she had but was still in pretty bad shape and she knew she looked it too and didn't want to add to the flames. She kept trying to gently shoot down ideas that were being thrown her way of things to do and to change the subject but it wasn't happening.

Finally she did agree to go on a trip though. There wasn't really a plan to it, just an idea to get up and just go and see what happened.

Connor was just pleased for anything. Everything had been so out of control, it did seem like a good idea.

Jenny declined to go with but Buffy went to grab Dawn for the small roadtrip and the four of them headed off to go waste the rest of the day. There had to be something out there they could find to do after all.

OoOoO

Angel wasn't sure how in the world he got into this but he knew Buffy was to blame for all of it. There was no other explanation for him to be running, or, well, more like attempting to crawl at the moment or Hell, just to move at all from where he was, around in some very large playground thing where they'd stopped off at for a snack.

Not only was it insane in the first place but the getting stuck constantly because he was too damn big to be in this crazy creation was also another down side.

Buffy however thought it was the funniest thing she'd ever witnessed. And he planned to let her know what he happened to think of that.. if he ever figured out how to get anywhere in here. And if he even could.

That was all this was though, following Buffy and trying to catch her. The inital thing.. he couldn't remember... it just started in the ball pit.

Buffy forced them all out onto a table in the room with the giant deathtrap and halfway through the meal got up and ran into it. Why exactly he ended up following, he couldn't really place. Bits and pieces of her teasing and playing and taunting came to mind but mostly it was a blur by now.

Anyway, he ended up jumping into the stupid pit with her than running after her and she climbed out and started going through tunnels and all of the other crazy junk spread about. He had no idea how long this had been going on but it seemed like a lifetime at this point.

And what was worst of all.. he was pretty sure he was now lost.

Angel checked his surroundings, the very bright, very colorful and very cramped area of his surroundings and then growled. He heard Buffy's laughter in the distance and growled again.

He faintly heard her voice teasing him again and decided it was time to get serious in this thing. Grabbing the sides of the opening to the connector, Angel pulled hard and sent himself flying down a long tunnel and then down into a room of nets.

Angel growled again as he landed then attempted to stand, only to fall a number of times. Walking wasn't much easier. Then he had to try and climb up and it was just a huge mess from there back into another room after another, monkey bars, swinging ropes, rolling steps and slides and other crazy things, tunnels and the works.

Oh, how he couldn't wait to find her.

OoOoO

Down at the grey/brownish table Dawn was still laughing as hard as she could. Her fact was beat red and her sides hurts from it. She couldn't help it though, watching Angel moving about in there was just something to freaking behold. She could hear Buffy and him arguing, Buffy's teasing him and Angel cursing numerous times as he got stuck, which, of course, were the best part. Especially if he was in a spot where you could see him.

This had officaly become the most insane day of her life, she was sure of it.

Connor had the same feeling basically. He was reacting in a bit of a different way though, just standing there still shocked, his eyebrows creased together, his face so lost and confused, his head slightly shaking in disbelief and amazement and something else he couldn't describe as he looked ahead.

This was just completely nuts.

OoOoO

Buffy was pretty sure this day just became her favorite ever.

Strange, but maybe that helped it along.

Sure, she felt like hell from her injuries and then crawling around in the playland didn't exactly help.. but it was the best time she'd had in so long if not ever so it was all more than worth it.

Also her mother didn't complain, didn't yell, didn't anything. She still didn't feel right about any of that but it still felt nice to play into it for a moment and just have her question whether or not she had a good time and drop it at that.

And it sure didn't hurt that the night wasn't turning out so bad either as Angel snuck into her bedroom again to spend the night. That was definitely a plus.

Angel slipped his shoes and socks off then his shirt and came sliding into the bed where Buffy had already made herself comfortable in. She wasn't sure if he had been planning to do a repeat of yesterday and had been cursing herself for not asking or bringing it up because she really did want him here before he showed up.

Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around his head and opened her legs for him to position himself between as he reached her. "Mind if I crash here with you tonight?"

Buffy shook her head and dragged him down to her.

"I'll take that as a no," he bent to kiss her again and then rolled back off of her wanting to check her injuries again and to make sure he kept what little bit of self control he had intact.

That was quite the battle since earlier. The image of Buffy from when he finally found her... he was pretty sure it was permanantly imbedded in his head now.

Somewhere during the chase Buffy had taken her hoodie overshirt off and tied it around her waist, leaving a better view of her heaving breasts that he sure didn't mind, less when he was pinned up against her moments later, it was obviously hot in the playland and bother were breathing harder as it was, Buffy had a nice glisten going on and her face was reddened as well, her hair was a complete mess and her eyes were just dancing with excitment and playfullness.

Angel had did his best to sneak around and finally it seemed to work and as soon as Buffy finally noticed she went darting away laughing and teasing, it didn't take very long for him to reach her though as she tried escaping up into a room above. The upper half of her body was in the next room above them but the lower half of her was down below with him. Angel just smirked and pulled her down and started backing her into a corner.

Buffy matched his every kiss with the same force and he could feel her struggling to be free as he pinned her arms to the bright yellow wall. He would break away and she would start whining and he just bury himself into her neck, growling out complaints of what he'd just gone through or huskily teasing out threats of what he should do now that he finally had her.

Finally Buffy bit her lip and gave him a devious smile. "Well, I could always make it up to you," she teased.

Angel cocked his head to the side and smirked. "Really."

"Uh huh."

Angel's smirk grew and he thought about it for a moment before releasing one of her arms. Another moment later he was burying his head back into her neck and groaning as her free hand began rubbing the front of his pants. He released her other arm and soon found himself down on the ground, Buffy on top of him straddling him.

Buffy untied her hoodie from her waist then made quick work of getting her tank top off as well, then she started on his tee shirt next. She grabbed for them blindly as her lips met his, balling the items in her fist and stuck them under his head. She lifted her head and smiled and started trailing down his neck then down his chest, giving him some of the same treatment he had been giving to her for the past few weeks.

She really didn't know what suddenly came over her... it was just a lot of everything she supposed. There was everything that had happened before today, including their night together, there was the way he looked at her, the way his touch suddenly set her into flames... it just happened and she was just going to go with it.

And to be honest there was a small part of her that knew she was being selfish when it came to things like this. She knew he didn't see it that way but a little part of her did. She also knew that if he knew she'd thought that he'd stop her in an instant. But she didn't want that either.

Buffy gave his nipple one last hard flick then traveled lower, nipping and planting open mouth kisses down his stomach, her tongue dipping into his naval as her hands again snuck even lower. Buffy did her best to calm her nerves as she began unbuttoning his jeans and lowering the zipper, her hand slipping inside to free him from the rough casing.

Angel groaned as she slid her hand nervously back up his length and then instinctively wrapped her hand as much as she could around him.

She wondered if somehow she gave something away or had done something wrong as a few moments later he pulled her away, rolling her under him. Angel gave her a heated kiss that only made her feel more dizzy and she made out him whispering something about not doing anything she'd regret and that they should probably get out of there.

Angel finished looking Buffy over and smiled down at her. "You sure you're okay?"

Buffy returned his smile and nodded back.

"Alright," he said then fell back down to the bed beside her, gathering her up in his arms.

OoOoO

When Angel woke up, he checked out her window and the time, seeing he should probably be getting out of there soon. He laid there for a moment, just enjoying being there, then lightly kissed her cheek before trying to slide back out of the bed unnoticed to grab his clothes.

Angel slipped his shirt on then sat down to put on his shoes and socks. He got up and stretched then walked over to the side of the bed and bent down to Buffy and lightly brushed his fingers across her cheek.

Slowly her eyes opened and locked with his and she gave him a sleepy smile. "You leaving?" she asked then yawned.

Angel bent down to kiss her. "Yeah."

"Mmm. 'Kay. Spend today with me later?"

Angel chuckled at her mumbling and agreed. He tucked her in better then headed for the window. When he looked back she was already back to sleep but curled around his pillow. He smiled and closed the window, looking toward the tree and the ground below.

OoOoO

Sunday was mostly spent over at Willow's. She'd finally returned her friends many phone calls and when she asked her to come over, Buffy did.

Willow hadn't seen Buffy the other day at school but she sure heard all about it. The difference between her and most everyone else was she knew Angel in no way was the cause of whatever might have happened to her new friend. Sure, before she probably wouldn't have thought twice about it but things changed. And in no way could she see it.

It made her afraid of what could have really happened though.

When Buffy arrived she gasped at the sight and hurried her inside to ask if she was okay and what happened, her parents did as well but pointing the finger at her boyfriend with every breath. Buffy hurried to disagree and so did Willow, explaining a thousand times it wasn't him.

And when they were alone, Buffy thought about it for a moment then told her the truth. It didn't make sense to lie to Willow anymore and not right now. So she did her best to explain and explain why every option she knew she should take to get out of this hellish life she couldn't do and everything she was so mechanical about.

OoOoO

Angel was reawakened by a text message vibrating his phone. He groaned and reached for it, reading a message from Buffy telling him to go over to Willow's. And he reread it about fifteen times still unbelieving it before just getting up and telling her to give him awhile to get ready then he went to go take a shower.

OoOoO

Ira and Sheila Rosenberg let them talk for what seemed like hour after hour, trying to convince them about Angel and then to invite him over. Finally they agreed but didn't waste anytime leaving to not be around when he was.

The girl's rolled their eyes and invited him, unsure of what they'd do for the rest of the afternoon but Buffy just missed him.

Angel seemed a little nervous about being there when he arrived and Willow had to admit Liam Angelus being in her house was still more than a little odd but Buffy just jumped into his arms and didn't take notice to anything else.

They never spoke of the upcoming school week, nothing about what everyone was saying or what they thought, not what Buffy and Angel would say or how they would act, nothing. They just enjoyed the rest of the weekend, eating, laughing, playing games and watching movies. They had a boring but fun day. Something that they needed after everything.

Tomorrow loomed but would be dealt with when the time came.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

"When's your dad supposed to be getting back from... well, wherever it is he went?" Angel whispered, not wanting to get out of Buffy's bed yet. It was a little earlier than usual too but both of them had woken up.

Buffy snuggled her back closer into Angel's chest for a moment before answering. "I think Wednesday, but I'm not sure."

Angel just nodded and held her closer.

Silence fell between them and he let his mind wander for a few more moments.

"It's gonna be okay," he finally told her, dropping a kiss down on her hair and he felt her nod against him. "I love you."

Buffy couldn't help but smile. "I love you too."

Angel kissed her bare shoulder before stating he should probably be going. Not that it was something either of them wanted, nor was this day's arrival in general.

Buffy turned to lay on her back as she felt him slipping away from her and she watched him move about to find his clothes, wishing he could stay. She sat up and moved over to his as he sat down at the edge of the bed to put his shoes back on. Her arms wrapped around him and her lips quickly found their way to his irresitable neck. Angel closed his eyes and moaned out her name before whipping around and grabbing her, laying her down on the bed, his body falling on top of hers, his lips seeking hers.

OoOoO

"Buffy," Angel groaned, one hand on the mattress supporting his weight, the other on Buffy's hip just itching to touch her. To rip off her clothes and touch her.

Buffy nibbled and sucked on his bottom lip, her hands roaming through his hair and down his shoulders. "What?" she finally panted out.

"I have to go."

She shook her head then attacked his mouth with her own again, making them both groan. More as his body leaned back down into her, his growing erection pressing against her.

Buffy broke the kiss off and panted out a few breaths before looking up at him. Angel groaned again at the sight. "Truth or dare?" she panted, her hands restlessly still digging into his neck and upper back.

"Buffy..."

"Answer."

Angel looked into her eyes, his hard breathing matching hers, his body on fire, his mind foggy. He was screaming no in his head but answered "Dare," anyway, a slight panic filling him as it came out and more so when he watched her smile.

She held it for a moment before biting down on her lip. She released it, a broad smile replaced back on her beautiful face before she pushed him lightly and rolled them so she was on top. She bent to kiss his lips quickly before sliding down and slipped off his shoes.

"Buffy? What are you..."

"Shh," she whispered back and then stood up. She smiled again down at him then reached for his hand. She ignored the confused look on his face and started pulling him towards her bedroom door after scooting his shoes under her bed out of sight. She held up a finger, motioning him to wait there for a moment, then slowly opened her door and stuck her head out into the darkened hallway. She checked everything out then brought her head back inside and reached for his hand again.

"Come on."

"Buffy..."

"Shh, hurry," she cut him off again and they tip toed down the hall and to the bathroom, Buffy having to almost drag him after he realized where they were headed but she wasn't having any of that.

Buffy flicked on the bathroom light then pushed him inside, she followed and shut and locked the door. Buffy turned around to face him and before he could ask her what in the world was going on again she threw her arms around his neck and muffled his questions. At least for a moment or two.

Buffy released him, taking a step back and almost laughed at the look on his face.

She bit her lip and reached her arms down to the hem of her tank top and pulled it off over her head. She almost found herself laughing again as she watched Angel suck in a breath and his whole expression change in record speed.

Smirking, she hooked her thumbs into the sides of her panties and, at a teasingly painful rate, she pulled them down and stepped out of the two wholes, stepping closer to Angel who audibly gulped this time.

"I'm really glad you chose dare," she told him, her hand coming to rest on his chest. She stood on her tip toes again and kissed him quickly before going to work on taking his shirt off. Angel let her but stopped her from doing anything more.

"Buffy, what are you doing?"

She tilted her head and looked at him before taking a small step over and reached her hand into the shower, turning the water on. "We," she emphasized, "are taking a shower to get ready for school."

A thousand images started flashing through Angel's mind. Being very naked, very wet, very much on the brink of losing control with a very naked, very wet Buffy... it just spelled a whole hell of a lot of trouble.

And was causing an incredible ache of need in his groin.

"Buffy..."

"Angel, it's still early... but if my mom does get up and everything before we're done in here then she'll probably just be downstairs making breakfast or something. You can still sneak out undetected."

Angel sighed and slowly shook his head. "Buffy..." he tried again.

She smirked and put a finger to his lips. She came back over closer to him, pressing her body into his, making him growl out her name again. "We could take a bubble bath instead?" she offered and laughed as he growled at her again.

"Buffy, this is all a very bad idea," he gritted out, his hands balled in fists and his knuckles almost turning white.

She pouted, stepping even closer to him, laying her chin in the middle of his chest. "I just don't want you to go yet."

He couldn't say anything to that. He could think plenty, like the reasonable side of him urging out words such as 'oh, well then, you could have just said that and I would have stayed in bed an extra few moments' or 'I will see you in a few hours and you will survive' or a thousand other things.

Nothing came though.

Angel finally sighed and stared down at her. She returned his stare for a long moment.. then he felt her hands working on his pants.

He could have stopped her, knew he should have, but instead he soon found himself shirtless, pantsless, boxerless and sockless. Complete nude. And his blonde beauty staring at him, making him feel nervous.

Buffy took him in slowly then finally lifted her eyes back to him. She knew she was blushing but was surprised he was too. Taking a deep breath she reached for his hand and started pulling him closer to the shower stall.

She honestly wasn't sure what she was doing but it sounded like a good idea at the time.

OoOoO

It wasn't anything short of tense at first.

Buffy stood under the hot spray and Angel stood in the back as far from her as he could get. He looked anywhere but her and crossed his arms over his chest, trying to ignoring the naked girlfriend and what toll she was taking on him. And he was so lost in that that he almost jumped when he felt Buffy poking at him.

She smiled and motioned her eyes over to where she'd just been and he went to say something.. but nothing came out. He scooted away from her, switched positions and stood under the water, resisting the urge to turn the hot water off and take an insanely freezing one instead.

He hurried to rinse his hair then switched with her again as she started coming closer to him. He retreated to the back and began trying to ignore everything once again.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw it though. He mentally groaned.

'Does she really need to use soap?'

Angel couldn't pry his eyes away as he watched her and he couldn't stop himself when he had enough and started moving back up to her, taking over the job at hand.

OoOoO

Buffy let her head fall back against Angel's body as his hands wandered over her skin. She moaned in pleasure as he twisted her nipples and stepped closer to her, his erection pressing against her as he did.

As he continued to torment her hard tips, she snuck one hand behind her and grabbed the back of his head, she turned her own and pushed him down into a seering kiss.

His hand continued to trail lower as hers did the same, finally reaching the proof of his desire, making them both groan at the contact as she wrapped her tiny hands the best she could around him. She hesitated for a moment then her hand began stroking him.

Angel groaned, fighting the urge to press harder into her palm, to just press her against the tile wall and bring his every fantasy to life right then and there, to loose every tiny bit of self control he managed to retain. He felt himself losing the battle against his hips so hurried to shift through his cloudy mind.

"Buffy," he growled against her neck, his hands coming down to hers to pull her away.

Buffy held onto him tighter as she turned around to face him. She let herself get lost in his heated gaze for several moments before she bit her lip and slowly looked down, watching her hand at work.

Angel's remained on her, watching as her desire rose to match his as she looked on. He groaned again, placing his hands back on her to hault her.

Buffy's eyes lifted again to meet his. She meant to say something but nothing came. She noticed he was about to do the same and decided to push everything out of her mind, mostly any inexperienced fears about what she was planning to do next.

As his mouth opened to speak, she detached herself... only to drop down to her knees in front of him. She gulped at the sight before her as his eyes widened above her, his whole body left in shock.

She tried to remember everything she'd ever heard, seen, read about it and slowly she reached her hand out to him, drawing him closer to her mouth.

She heard Angel take in a sharp breath and before he could do anything else, she slowly slid her lips around the head of his cock.

Angel just stood there, unable to take his eyes off of her, unable to stop her. He just watched in utter amazement and satisfaction as she tentively explored.

Her hands stroked him, fingers dancing along throbbing veins, pumping him, her mouth placed random kisses along his length, opened for him, tasted him, her tongue flicked and licked at him.

He knew this shouldn't be happening, that he should stop her... but he still couldn't make himself do it.

As she grew more and more comfortable, he felt himself getting closer to his undoing.

Angel's eyes rolled back in his head, his hands tangling up in her wet locks guiding her, his hips moving with victory pressing deeper into her hot, wet mouth. He felt himself hitting the back of her throat and gritted his teeth.

"Buffy, now might be a good time for you to.." he didn't get to finish. Instead of pulling away like he expected her to and part of him hoped for her to... and the other part hoped so much more so that she wouldn't, she just sucked him harder, her hand pumping the inches she couldn't swallow harder.

It was seconds later his head threw back, her name pouring from his lips, his hand gripping the back of her hair, pressing her as close to him as she could possibly get. He felt her swallowing around him and had to brace himself against the slippery wall before he fell over.

As soon as his sight returned, he had her back up, his mouth devouring hers, tasting himself. He pushed her back against the wall and wasted no time going down to his knees before her ready to return the favor. He could yell at himself later, this however couldn't wait another second.

He lifted her legs up over his shoulders and quickly buried his face between her legs, his hunger for her to the point of starvation.

OoOoO

Angel wasn't sure when the water had gone cold, didn't really care much either. As Buffy pushed him away, finally to numb to take anymore, he forced himself away.

The cold water finally got to him and he hurried to turn it off and to capture Buffy's lips along the way. She groaned and pressed hard against him, teasing and tormenting him with every thing she did.

"We have to get out of here," he whispered out between their fused lips.

She was still too dazed to hear or understand anything he was saying.

Angel laughed then hurried them out of the shower stall, helping Buffy out a lot with her jello-y legs, and wrapped a towel around her then himself.

He grabbed his hands full of his clothing then grabbed for her, pulling her closer to the door. He pressed his ear up against it for a moment before slowly reaching to unlock the door then open it little by little. He stuck his head out into the hall, hearing a few muffled noises and noticing some lights in the house now on. He pressed a finger to his lips and the two snuck quietly as they could back to her room.

Angel looked at the clock by her bed then hurried to get dressed, the realization of what happened finally seeping in and making him feel horrible at the same time. He hated himself for it, felt guilty and disgusted with himself. And he hated that.

Buffy was in his life and she was perfect. She flipped his entire life upside down and brought him back to the land of the living. She made him happy, made him feel at all. She liked him, put up with him, leveled with him. She agreed to date him. She fucking loved him. Buffy trusted him, she was open with him, she was understanding. She wanted him. She let him have her in ways no one else ever had and would never again be able to. And he had to feel disgusted by it.

Life really wasn't fair.

When you're an eighteen year old complete and utter virgin male, getting your first blowjob really shouldn't feel like it did for him.

Then again, he knew that most weren't also hiding the fact that they'd murdered a few members of their damn family a few years prior from their perfect girlfriends either.

Buffy was more back in tune with the world finally and watched him closely, wondering what was going on in that head of his. She couldn't read the expression on his face at all. Slowly she walked over to him, dropping herself down on his lap.

He smiled and grabbed her tightly, he swung them around, placing her back down on the bed, his lips pressing hard against hers.

"This is how this all starts you know," she whispered and smiled up at him.

Angel groaned. "So very true," he said then started pulling himself back away from her. "I really should go."

"I know. I love you."

He leaned over to kiss her again. "I love you. I'll see you in a few alright?"

Buffy nodded. She still didn't want him to go. She still didn't want this day to ever start.

The distraction and wake up sure weren't bad though.

OoOoO

Angel hoped no one saw him as he not so subtly snuck down out of Buffy's room and then ran to his car, speeding off towards his house. He still had to change, grab his things, maybe eat, get to school, maybe have to explain why he had been missing this morning as he was sure his family now knew, and whatever else he might have to take care of in this short period of time he had to do it in.

Amazingly enough, he wasn't late for school but as soon as he saw the army of cops he knew he probably was going to be late for class anyway.

Cops usually stayed out of his way along with the rest of the town so he was actually a little surprised they even showed. The major lot of them took some of the surprise away though.

Angel sighed and watched Jenny notice him and come rushing out to most likely tell him what he already knew.

He also knew he could still take care of the situation in a few rather interesting ways but given everything.. it just didn't seem like the best plan at the time.

Angel sighed and tried to hurry out a different plan of actions to take, one that hopefully wouldn't make things harder on Buffy and Dawn. Maybe not himself either.

"Bet I can guess what they're doing here," he muttered as Jenny reached him.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Buffy threw a hateful glare towards the detective who'd been holding her up all morning. "Great then, so I can I go now? Are we done?" she asked hotly.

"Well, Miss Summers..." he started but she hurried to stand up, almost knocking the chair over as she did.

"Great, then if you will excuse me, I'm going to go find my boyfriend and try to make it to the last few minutes of our lunch period okay?" Buffy grabbed for her bag then started walking toward the door but the man grabbed her before she reach the door. "What?" she almost screamed at him.

"If there is anything that..."

"There's not," she cut in and pushed him out of the way. Buffy stomped down the hall to the room the army of police and Snyder and Flutie were keeping Angel and flung the door open. "Angel didn't and wouldn't touch me, he wouldn't ever in any way hurt me, simple as that," she stated, walking towards him and grabbing his arm. "There's nothing else for him to say and for you to know. Same goes for me. Now, we are going to lunch and back to our regular scheduled classwork okay?" Again she really didn't wait for an answer or argument, she just continued to pull Angel out of the room.

They were halfway down the hall when Angel tugged on her, she turned and soon found herself being pressed against a row of lockers, Angel's mouth claiming hers with no less passion than earlier this morning.

"I'm sorry about all of this," she whispered, her hands nervously dancing across his chest.

Angel reached down and tipped her chin for her to look at him. He smiled and shook his head slightly before kissing her again softly on the lips.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about Buffy. Let's just not worry about it right now and go find your friends and eat. I'm starving," he smiled again.

OoOoO

"Hey everybody," Buffy greeted as cheerfully as she could as they finally found their small group outside. She carefully laid down on the blanket and snuggled closer to Angel as everyone started in with the questions. "Everything's gonna be fine you guys," she said trying to convince herself as well.

Willow threw her a tiny smile. "You sure were in there a long time."

"He was longer," Buffy said, nodding her head toward Angel who just grumbled. "I heard they wanted to ask you guys some questions as well," she said with a sigh.

"Yeah, I was called out of class before lunch. It wasn't very long though. I didn't say anything bad, I promise."

"Wouldn't have expected you to my dear."

They next few minutes were filled with more explanations and questions and worries until Buffy just wanted and more so needed to just forget about all of it so got them all talking about something else.

It took a minute but they thankfully caught on and it was left alone. At least for now. She figured that was good enough.

It was about five minutes before the bell rang when Angel leaned over and whispered he was going to go check on Jenny with everything going on.

"Want me to come?"

"Mmm," he leaned down to kiss her, "No, I want you to finish this," he scooted his food towards her.

"But I'm not hugry."

"You haven't eaten all day. It's good for you you know." He kissed her again. "I'll see you in a few minutes alright."

"Angel?"

"Hmm?"

"I am sorry about all of this," she told him again softly.

"You didn't do anything Buffy. It'll work out. For now though, just eat for me alright and don't forget where Jen's class is," he smiled as she swatted at him.

"I wasn't gone that long," she replied rolling her eyes.

"Right." Angel gave her a fleeting kiss then excused himself from the group, hurrying back inside the building.

OoOoO

"You know, there was this guy I was seeing in middle school and well..."

Buffy couldn't believe it. This was the second time that someone, no, that some stranger, was going to come up to her as she was making her way inside after the bell rung and tell her about their abusive past with some boyfriend.

She grumbled to herself and snapped up the few books she dropped a minute before this girl offered to help and then start in with this.

Buffy shot her her own 'death glare' towards the brunette. "..Things were great for awhile, then they weren't? I'm very sorry to hear about it, but that has nothing to do with me. Angel didn't touch me, as I have now told half a million people and will be glad to tell the rest, the whole damn world if I have to okay. It wasn't my boyfriend and who it actually was really is none of your damn business and whatever happened to you isn't any of mine so thank you but goodbye," and with that she hurried away, Willow trying not to laugh as she hurried to follow behind her.

OoOoO

"Good afternoon Willow, Buffy," Jenny smiled as the girls came in. Willow gave her a small wave and started for her desk while Buffy came around to where Angel was sitting in one of the extra chairs and sat down on his lap. "How are you?"

"I'm fine I guess," she offered a smile. "I'm sorry..."

"Stop that," Angel butted in.

"Well I am!"

"Tell her she didn't do anything wrong."

"Of course you didn't," Jenny reached her hand out to the young girl. "This is not your fault. None of this is."

"Everyone keeps saying that.."

Angel wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him, burying his face in her neck. "I love you," he whispered earning a smile. "We better get up and to our seats my love."

Buffy grumbled but stood. Angel started walking but she stopped and turned back to Jenny. "How much trouble is he in?" she asked softly, her eyes lowered, guilt still burning her up inside.

"I don't know. Honestly, I was afraid things would be worse than what they have been so far. But don't worry so much about it Buffy. He's been through worse and I'm sure you have as well. Just try and stay positive and let things ride out."

Buffy attempted another smile and then started for her seat as well. Jenny watched her go, her own heart sinking. This was all still one hell of a mess.

Trying to shake everything else away, she stood up and began the class.

OoOoO

"Hey, you okay?" Angel whispered, noticing Buffy spacing out again beside him.

"Huh? Yeah, fine, sorry," she whispered back then tried to concentrate on the screen again.

"Buffy, don't do this please."

"Do what?"

"Feel guilty, worry about me... Nothing's going to happen to me and if you don't know this by now, I'm not going to let anything happen to you or us if I can help it either."

"It's just that..."

"Nope. It's nothing. So please don't beat yourself up anymore. Please."

"What am I supposed to do Angel? The police, the school, everyone knows something's not right and they all want to blame it on you like I knew they would. You're only in trouble because of me."

"I was in trouble long before you came here."

"You know what I mean."

"Yes, I do but this isn't your fault."

"Say it all you want but it still feels like it."

"Baby, you didn't do anything wrong and I hate that you want to blame everything on yourself, I hate seeing you like this. It's going to be okay, I promise you."

"Angel, you know you can't promise that."

"I think I just did."

Everyone stared at them together as it was, a new reason every week almost, and this one being the least liked.

Angel tried to get her to relax, to ignore everyone as they had every time before, but it wasn't an easy task. Trying to act natural again wasn't. But after class ended, he stood and waited for her and they walked hand in hand to Walsh's History class through the halls, past the many onlookers, hearing the whispers and such following them along the way. And more than once he pulled her closer, dropping a kiss on the top of her head for comfort, or leaning down to capture her lips instead.

At least she didn't mind or get more antsy. He took that as a plus.

Class remained with everyone's unsaid words hanging in the air, a few whispers from time to time, notes subtly trying to be passed around, eyes all on them. Angel kept his focus on her the entire time though and tried to think of what in the world he could do.

As another class ended, Buffy realized she was going to be separated from him again. She hadn't really thought much about it, especially after she'd missed all of her morning classes, but now she really didn't have a choice but to. And she didn't like the feeling.

"You going to be okay?" Angel asked, throwing his arm around her shoulder for a moment.

"I have a note," she told him softly.

"I figured that you did and even if not well... but are you going to be okay?" he asked, his tone more serious.

"Yeah," she said nodding, "I'll be fine."

He didn't like the feeling either. He held on to her for as long as he could then reluctantly pulled away. "I'll see you in an hour."

Buffy nodded again. "Yeah. You better hurry."

Angel smiled thinking how he was in no hurry to get away from her then finally turned in the other direction. Every few steps he'd look back, watching as she finally headed closer to the Gym.

In all of probably not even five minutes, the coach brought her into his office, questioning the obvious, more than enough students did the same as she walked out and past them going to go take a seat, and then that annoying Riley Finn character topped it all off with his questioning skills and completely ridiculous threats that she wasted no time mocking him about. She watched his face fall and just smiled broadly. He stood still, just staring, a strange look on his face then finally just turned away and hurried down to join up with the class. Buffy smiled again as she muttered "Jackass," behind him.

Sighing, she went about trying to ignore them all. Everything they were doing, saying, how they all kept sneaking glances her way and the forth.

She couldn't wait to get out of here.

But then again after all all of this she really didn't see how anywhere else would be any better though.

When the bell finally rang, Buffy practically ran out of the door as if the place was on fire. She just needed to be with Angel again.

OoOoO

"Whoa!" Angel exclaimed and hurried to grab Buffy as she surprised him in the hall.

Her legs wrapped around him, her head buried in his neck and her arms held onto his neck as tight as she could.

"Hey, hey there," he told her softly, unsure of what was going on and still getting over his surprise attack. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head against him. "Nothing," she whispered, "Everything. I just needed..."

"You needed what babe?" he asked as she fell silent.

"You," she answered, her head lifting.

Angel smiled and leaned in for a kiss. If she needed him, he had plenty to give.

Angel shifted her then reached for the book he dropped, careful not to drop her as well or just to fall on his ass or something, and then started walking them toward the library with Buffy still wrapped around him.

OoOoO

"Angel didn't do it," Buffy sighed out before Giles had the chance to say anything.

He'd just called her over to explain that some of her teachers from her morning classes had brought her assignments in by request of Snyder, along with her past week ones as well that she missed, Angel's had been sent to Jenny. She sure was piling up with homework with her return, that was for sure. Buffy sighed and grumbled then when he was done she blurted it out.

Giles just smiled and shook his head. "Well of course he didn't," he said, surprising her.

"Excuse me?"

Giles was silent for a moment. "I believe that Mister Angelus there is capable of plenty of things that I think I would rather not think of, but not to you. I don't think he'd even be capable of thinking of hurting you."

Buffy smiled. At least there were a few people on her side.

After Giles question what really happened, and she tried to just skate around it, finally she took her seat and groaned, digging into her mountain of homework.

OoOoO

After school ended, they all spent a good amount of time in Jenny's classroom going over everything that had been going on today and what they were going to do about it.

Buffy felt horrible about it all and Angel kept trying to make her understand she hadn't done anything.

When they finally decided to leave, Angel dropped her off at The Espresso Pump. He'd first offered to drive her back to his house but they both knew that she wouldn't be any closer to getting her make up work done if he did.

Buffy gathered up her things then leaned over in the seat to kiss him. "I'll call you later," she whispered.

Angel nodded and she hurried out of the car, waving to him one last time then heading inside the small shop. He sat there for another minute then drove down the road to the house.

Jenny and Connor arrived not too long after and, as expected, Connor came rushing into his room to ask him about his being missing this morning.

"So, you've just been spending the night with her huh?" Connor smirked.

Angel glared. "Yes."

"Uh huh. And nooothing else?"

"I'm gonna hit you," he threatened, his glare hardening.

"Jenny!" Connor yelled, barely keeping his voice together, "I think you need to have a sex talk with Angel!"

Angel was up off of his bed before he even got it fully out.

OoOoO

Buffy was sitting over in the corner still working on her homework when someone sat in the booth across from her. She lifted her eyes after finishing her sentence then looked in surprise at her visitor. "Jeeves! What.. What are you doing here?" she asked with a smile.

Giles chuckled. "Miss Summers," he greeted then shrugged, "I hear they have good coffee here," he said with a smile of his own.

"They do," she agreed and her smile grew for a moment before she narrowed her eyes some and bit at her lip for a moment. "Did you know my mom owns this place?"

He nodded. She wasn't surprised. She would have been if he answered no.

Buffy put her pen down in the middle of her book then looked at the librarian again. "Did you come here to talk to me?"

Giles sighed and shifted a little uncomfortably in the seat. "Well I... I was just..."

Buffy nodded as he tried to find the right words to say. She automatically reached on hand up through her hoodie, brushing a few more locks of her hair down to cover up her face. "I'm fine Mister Giles, really," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Giles looked at her oddly. "Oh please, never again..." he said and made her chuckle before it grew serious again.

OoOoO

Buffy was sitting up on the bed when Angel entered. She had her knees pulled up against her chest, her arms wrapped around them, her chin resting on her hand covering her right kneecap as she stared off into space.

"Buffy? You okay?" he whispered, closing the window behind him and walking toward her.

Buffy turned and smiled. "Yeah. Just thinking."

" About what?"

Buffy watched him sit beside her and just stared at him for a moment. Then she smiled again, reaching one hand out to him, bringing him over to her for a kiss.

"Jeeves came by the shop today," she told him afterwards. "I called him Mister Giles," she said with a chuckled. Angel raised his eyebrows. "Yeah. He asked me not to every again. I was more than happy to agree, it so did not sound right," she laughed again. "He asked me about... all of this," she said next, waving a hand over herself.

Angel kissed her again. "What did you say?" he asked softly.

Buffy shrugged. "Nothing really. I said a few hypothetically theories things but mostly just danced around everything all over again as much as possible."

Angel reached over to her, dragging her closer. His arm remained around her as she laid her head on his shoulder as they sat in silence.

Buffy had a few too many things on her mind and Angel wasn't that far behind.

When the finally climbed into the bed to call it a night, they both had a wish that tomorrow would be easier.

OoOoO

Buffy watched as her father's car pulled out of the driveway, jumping up and down with a huge smile on her face as he disappeared from sight.

She looked over at the clock then went rushing up the stairs, throwing herself together in record speed then rushing her mother and Dawn out the door.

It looked like she was getting to go to the Halloween dance after all.

Angel had asked her, surprisingly without being teased into it by her since she never brought it up figuring she wasn't going to be able to attend, but plans had sure changed now.

It was the best and only good news she'd had in the past week.

OoOoO

The previous week had started off with the cops hassling her and Angel and everyone around them. It wasn't a good way to kick off. And it hadn't really gotten any better since.

After Tuesday, Angel was no longer spending the night over. They both were unhappy with this. But on Wednesday, as predicted, her father had returned late in the night.

She didn't see it to be a good plan anymore.

He'd fought with her ever since about it. With them, it was now always a battle between fighting or pretending that everything was normal.

She wondered what was worse.

It didn't help that things got worse at home in the few days he had stuck around.

It hadn't taken long to learn about all the events that had been going on, the rumors, the stories... all of it. It took even less time for him to go into a blinding rage about it, making sure the three others under his roof remembered their place.

The new traces of abuse sure hadn't helped any. She supposed that was besides the point.

After seeing her condition worsen, at the first sign of it, Giles had reported to Child Services. She knew this the day after when he confronted her about it, told her everything, tried to get her to open up as he tried to explain... She wasn't really hearing him though. Her mind was too focused on the future, images of what she knew was probably going to happen to her.

She hadn't been surprise about the call though. It wasn't like she hadn't expected it. It wasn't like she hadn't dealt with this happening before. Buffy knew that he had a duty to report it. She figured Jenny probably had as well, she figured. No matter what she knew about her past, her history with this and what she meant to their family.

She knew that the librarian was worried about her. She knew he was trying to help, trying to do the right thing, trying to protect her.

She knew that he had no idea that he was only making it worse.

She was glad he told her though. She kept it to herself, not wanting to upset her sister and mother, not wanting him to find out. Really not wanting Angel to find out. But she was glad she at least knew.

She did her best to hurry and get caught up on her school work. It wasn't going as well as she'd hoped but it was something.

She'd found out about her mother's miscarriage after a phone call from the hospital and a little bit of snooping. She'd tried to get angry, tried to let sadness wash over her... but neither really worked. All she felt was guilt.

She never brought it up either.

And then there was Faith.

Ever since learning of Connor and Angel's visit to her old school and everything, she'd been having old feelings and memories rushing back to her. And apparently, she wasn't the only one.

Lindsay had called her, asking her how she felt about talking with, maybe even seeing, Faith again. She honestly had no idea. She just sort of expected that she never would again. That the two of them would just always have the past, a very terrible and painful one at that. And that they would just live with the guilty they both had from that night and move on.

Now... she didn't know.

He called every day to ask her. She wished she had an answer for him.

OoOoO

Buffy didn't know nor did she care why her father was leaving again. She was just glad he was gone.

She wasn't the only one.

It was like they all were breathing again.

OoOoO

Buffy stood waiting rather impatiently in front of Angel's locker, staring around trying to stop him as a few kids started to pile in.

Everything from the past week was forgotten about, at least for a few moments, as she let herself get excited about something again. And that she was. So much so that she almost knocked Angel down as she finally spotted him and went running over to him, jumping into his arms, which barely reacted in time to catch her.

"Ah shit," he started, stumbling around but smiling once he gathered himself back together. "Uh, hi?"

Buffy hugged him tighter then drew back, a large smile on her face. "Hi."

Angel chuckled. "Did I miss something?"

"I wanna go to the dance with you," she said then added shyly, "if you still want me to."

"I thought you couldn't go because of..."

"He's gone," she was glad to say. "I think for a week or two or something. I didn't care," she shrugged.

Angel smiled down at her, his head leaning in to drop a soft kiss on her lips. "Does this mean I can sneak into your room again?"

She laughed. "Only if you take me to the dance."

"I'm not dressing up in some dumb costume," he mumbled.

"Oh, yes you are and so am... I... oh, God, I have nothing to wear!"

Angel rolled his eyes and slowly lowered her feet back down to the ground before him.

OoOoO

Angel let out a huge sigh of relief as Buffy went running after Willow to discuss plans for the weekend.

There were no words to describe how glad he was to know Buffy's dad was gone again. To know she was safe again. It took everything in his power not to rush over there, find the son of a bitch, and... do something terribly stupid.

He still had no idea how he'd managed not to. He'd came close a few too many times.

He hadn't slept hardly any since the return.

He knew that Buffy didn't want him sneaking in during that time, afraid he'd get caught, afraid he'd do something but he'd protested and fought with her. This had only made her start pushing him away again so he stopped bringing it up. Instead, he started spending the night watching her house from his car. He made sure not to bring that up either.

OoOoO

Of all the things they could be doing, searching for Halloween costumes after school was not at the top of Angel's list.

Buffy and Willow were enjoying it though so he couldn't complain all that much he supposed. Plus, seeing some of the outfits Buffy was trying on wasn't all so bad either.

He still wanted to get out of here as soon as possible though.

"Thank God," Angel muttered almost three hours later as he paid for the two girls' outfits. If they would have taken any longer he was sure he would have left them here.

"We still haven't got anything for you," Buffy pointed out.

"I'll take care of it."

"You have to dress up."

"Yeah, yeah. I will," he grumbled.

"Will tights be involved?" she asked with a grin.

Angel turned to glare at her. "No."

"Can they be?" she asked hopeful, receiving another glare in return. "Pretty please?"


	18. Chapter Eighteen

'Maybe not getting any sleep wasn't so bad,' Angel thought as he bolted up in the small bed.

He ran a hand down his tired face then looked over toward his still sleeping girlfriend and let out a heavy sigh. Angel mumbled out a few soft curses to himself and then slid out of the bed, careful not to wake her up in the process, and walked over to open the window a bit. Angel looked over at Buffy once more then slid down to the floor, laying his head against the window sill, enjoying the cool air that he hoped would calm him back down.

It was about fifteen minutes later when he jerked back awake, feeling Buffy's hand softly rubbing against his shoulder. She whispered his name as he blinked his eyes a few times after settling on her face.

"Hey," she whispered with a small smile.

He threw one back. "Hey, sorry, did I wake you?"

Buffy shook her head. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he groaned out as he started to rise back up to his feet, "I just... uh... I had some trouble sleeping was all."

Buffy bit her lip, keeping herself from asking anything more not wanting to push him or anything and instead she just nodded before reaching out for his hand.

Angel smiled softly again at her, brought her hand up to his lips then followed her across the room and back into her bed, pulling her flush against him once settled.

"I missed this," she whispered and he had to agree. He saw her all of the time but it still hadn't been the same.

OoOoO

"Seriously, Linds, are you going to call me each and every day with this?" Buffy asked with a sigh.

On the other end of the line, she could hear Lindsay's slight chuckle. "Honey, I'm just trying..."

She sighed again. "I know. But seriously."

As he went silent for a moment, trying to think of the best way to word his next sentence, Buffy grabbed at her soda can while her eyes darted back at the school.

She heard Lindsey let out a sigh of his own and then he went into another reworked speech that she'd gotten quite used to over the past week. Yes, she knew what Faith had said. Yes, she knew he thought it would be a good idea to see her former best friend for both their sakes. But she still didn't know how she felt about it. It was all too confusing for her.

OoOoO

Jenny silently clapped her hands together under her desk then snuck a look over at Angel who raised an eyebrow at her while looking even more confused than he had the last time she did this. She couldn't blame him though. Hell, she had just grabbed him from lunch and brought him back to her classroom without having said a word to him. And still hadn't.

Jenny gave a tight smile then looked down at her lap, her thoughts racing. Taking several more uncomfortable moments to gather herself, she glanced over at her nephew once again and sighed. "I think you should tell her," she said quietly.

She couldn't have been more surprised by how calm her voice had came out. She was after all anything but.

It didn't help that Angel remained silent, unmoving.

Swallowing hard, she did her best to shake away some of the nerves and then tried to explain. She didn't want to upset him, but she thought it might be for the best. There was the fact of how close the two obviously were and she knew that everything he was hiding was like a black cloud hanging over him.

Then there was also everything she'd come to learn about Buffy's home situation. She thought and hoped that maybe if he shared his own experience it could help her and her family in some way if nothing else did.

After the bell rang, Angel stood up and nodded absently toward his aunt, at least he thought he had, then walked numbly over to his seat. When Buffy arrived, she raised an eyebrow at him, trying to figure out why he was staring off into space like that.

"Hey?" she greeted, settling down beside him.

Angel had a delayed reaction but did attempt to smile softly toward her. "Hey."

She smiled and laid her head down on his shoulder. "Everything okay?"

He swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah," he whispered before leaning down to kiss her forehead. His hand came up to her chin, tipping her head back to look at her. "I love you," he told her, his voice still in a quiet whisper.

Buffy stared at him, trying to understand his tone and that look in his eyes. "I love you too," she finally replied. "You have no idea," she smiled.

"I think I might," he teased then bent to capture her lips again, breaking only when he heard Jenny beginning the class.

OoOoO

Angel laid his head down on the table and awaited Buffy to enter the library. He couldn't wait for this day to be over. It hadn't exactly been going his way.

Closing his eyes, he thought back to his earlier conversation with Jenny. Something he'd been trying to block out. But he understood where she was coming from about it all, not that it really helped, but he understood it anyway.

He'd lived through his own hell for years and knew how badly it ended. There was that small chance that maybe sharing his past would help with her future. Hell, maybe he'd just scare her enough to know how bad things can reach with no control over it if she knew. Maybe it could help.

He got that. He really did.

And he also knew that she saw it as a way to help him as well. Maybe in some cases, for some people, talking things out seemed like a positive thing to do but he didn't really seem to look at it that way when it came to himself.

Angel also knew what telling her would cost him. That was something he always knew, always dreaded. It was what made him not want to get... involved... with any of this. It was what he constantly remained worried about.

He knew he was always going to tell her. He had just wanted to wait until the last possible moment.

OoOoO

Many hours later that evening, Angel laid wide awake back beside Buffy in her small bed staring up at the ceiling. He lowered his eyes down to the sleeping girl curled against him and drank the sight before him in, wondering how many more chances to do this there would be.

"I have to tell you something real soon," he whispered. "And you're not going to like it."

Letting out a shaky breath, Angel closed his eyes and tried to think of how in the world he was going to handle all of this.

OoOoO

Angel stood mesmerized as Buffy made her way down the stairs toward him.

She was beautiful, breathtaking, perfect. There was no denying that.

But he also felt a ripping pain in his chest once he met her eyes. Angel had become a little too familiar with that look he saw in them over the past few days. And what made it worse was that he knew that he put it there.

Buffy knew something was up. It really wasn't that surprising though considering Buffy seemed to read him better than anyone and, well, he hadn't exactly been that great at hiding it either.

Every time he saw how much it was affecting her he wish that he had been.

Pushing everything else aside, he took the last few steps toward her and smiled. He leaned over to whisper how beautiful he thought she looked then promised that everything would be perfect tonight.

Neither had it in them to believe it though.

OoOoO

At the first glimpse of him, all of Buffy's worries and problems were temporarily forgotten. All she could do was stare and think of how wrong it was for one teenage boy to look that damn good.

She was snapped back into reality however from Dawn's coughing behind and telling her to get a move on. Turning her head, she glared at her younger sister then did as requested, dread slowly seeping in with every step.

She had no idea what had been bothering Angel so much over these past few days but she knew something was. Something bad. And she hated that he wouldn't tell her about it.

Especially when she started to come up with her own reasons. None of them good. All having to do with her or them.

The two killers there were either him still being mad because of everything with her dad and their fighting from the week before or that he had just changed his mind all together about them. She couldn't blame him really for that.. if it were the case.. but that didn't mean it didn't eat her up inside with just the thought.

Returning his smile, Buffy let her attraction to him in that outfit and his empty promise of a nice evening take over. For at least a little while she didn't want think or deal with anything else.

OoOoO

Trying to ease the tension some, Buffy smiled over at Angel as the crowd poured in, lights and loud music poured out. "You sure you want to do this?"

Angel leaned over and lightly kissed her cheek. "For you," he whispered, "Anything."

Before she could respond, he was making his way out of the car and glaring towards the entryway of the dance.

OoOoO

They were both rather surprised in how good the night started to turn out. It was even almost back to normal.

It hadn't taken them very long to get the rest of their group found and gathered. Everyone commented on each others outfits and their own, shared stories of getting ready and making their way here, and stories of what they had accomplished since arriving.

Xander had spotted Cordelia moments later and had wasted no time in getting into a small fight with her. He had asked Anya to go with him which turned out to be rather amusing with her obvious fear of Angel given she wasn't one who'd managed to warm up to him and he hadn't warmed up to her way of constantly bringing up stories of her sexual past.

And of her hope for futures ones as well.

Willow and Oz made everyone melt and let out inner awwing at just the sight of them. Xander had even let out a few jokes about them as well, explaining with a goofy grin how sick they made him feel.

Willow had huffed then those two got into a hilarious word fight of their own.

With all of the laughter and just round about good time, Buffy and Angel couldn't help but loosen up and start to even enjoy themselves. And once they hit the dance floor, after a sudden reappearance of the old Buffy with dragging him out there, they suddenly got sucked back into their lustful, can't keep their hands to their selves phase.

Not that either one of them seemed to mind. Neither did anyone else who happened to notice.

They also managed to ignore and not really even notice that they gathered everyone's attention. It had been a while for that as well.

But all Buffy could out at this point was the fact that Angel was looking like her every fantasy come to life.. more so than usual anyway, his body as it moved along with hers, the heat from him against her, the smell of leather that swirled around her, the way his body heat was burning a hole through her dress, and his eyes and lips doing the most damage.

\She swore his eyes became darker with every glance and she was to the point of her knees wanting to give out with every touch of his far too perfect lips. This wasn't good. She knew that. She just didn't care.

Connor had arrived later than the rest of the group to the dance but as he noticed the show his brother and Buffy were giving he wished he hadn't of. He laughed and shook his head before turning to a few people surrounding him and let out a few jokes at the couples expensive then left to go search out the rest of the place.

OoOoO

It was Connor who ended up with the responsibility of breaking them up before they could really put on a show for everyone.

His idea of calling the fire department to ask if he could use a hose to cool them down hadn't gone over so well with Jenny. He knew she was secretly laughing though.

As he made his way toward the pair he couldn't help but laugh as he imagined his brother face... then grimaced as he thought of all the things he'd probably want and might possibly do to him. "Great," he muttered.

OoOoO

Buffy had a hard time sitting down in her chair but was glad when she finally managed it somehow.

Buffy was alone at the table at the moment. Willow and Oz along with Xander and Anya were cutting up the dance floor still, Connor... she wasn't sure where he'd gone off to but she figured he might be hiding still which made her chuckle, and Angel had left her there to fight with the chair minutes ago to go use the restroom and see if he couldn't get them all something to drink.

Spotting Willow, she waved and smiled then continued looking about the crowded dance floor. Again, she ended up laughing out loud when she spotted Jenny and Jeeves out there as well.

That certainly was a sight to behold.

She had made eye contact with her boyfriend's aunt when she felt her cell phone start vibrating.

Shaking her head at the couple, she reached for her phone, checking to see who it was before flipping it open. Seeing that it was just home she was tempted to ignore it but something inside of her told her not to. "What's up?" she asked cheerfully, her voice trying to be heard over the background noise.

At first there was nothing and she scrunched her eyebrows together. Next she heard a few soft cries and knew for sure something was wrong.

"Mom? Dawn?" she tried. "What's going on?"

She knew it was her sister when the sob came out, one much louder than before. Next she heard her finally whisper out the problem that sent chills down her spine.

"He came back."

OoOoO

Jenny was frantic as she searched through the crowd trying to find Angel.

It had been several minutes since she'd watched Buffy flee out of here in one hell of a rush.

She'd see her before too. She saw her face draining of its color and her body starting to shake. And she had started to go over there but Buffy had already grabbed up her things and was running out of there like a bat out of hell.

She did finally spot him over in a corner with Connor and rushed over there.

"Hey Jen," Connor looked at his savior from his brother.

Angel glared his way then turned toward his aunt and narrowed his eyes as he looked her over. "What's wrong?"

Jenny swallowed then tried to explain what she'd seen earlier.

"Fuck," Angel growled and then grabbed at Connor's shirt, pulling him closer. "Call the damn police and have them sent over there now," he told him then dropped him a second later, hurrying toward the exit.

Connor paused for a moment. "You don't know what's wrong," he called out.

"I got a feeling," he yelled back, pushing a group of kids out of his way.

Connor looked at his terrified aunt then gave a tight smile. He reached for his phone and handed it to her. "Call. I gotta go make sure he doesn't.." he didn't finish, just went running after Angel.

As he got to the parking lot though he already saw him speeding out of there. Connor cursed, looked back at the dance, let a few thoughts race for a moment or two then started running.

OoOoO

Angel was more than halfway to Buffy's door by the time her mailbox he'd collided with had even hit the ground. And that was the least of the damaged he'd managed to cause of this record breaking trip.

Angel stomped up to the door. He'd been able to see some and hear more of what was going on inside that house from when he'd pulled in.

He already knew what was going to happen when he got in there.

And sure enough, as the door almost came off of its hinges and he stood there staring down Hank Summers, it had just begun.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

"Angel?" Buffy breathed. She felt a mixture of relief, embarrassment and shame wash over her. Even a little bit of fear as she saw one wild look, and not in a good way, not in the sort of way she liked to drive him to, in those dark eyes of his.

She faintly heard her father say something but she couldn't tell what it was if her life had depended on it. He was drunk and slurring his words, but she was also suffering from what had taken place before Angel's arrival.

She was in too much pain to even think clearly, everything was so muddled and blurry, distant.

Her hair and makeup were a mess, her dress was ripped and torn, one shoe was flung off somewhere, the other was broken on her foot. She was sweating and bleeding, her face and body were already banged up but were now loaded with all kinds of new signs of abuse.

Her head had been knocked back against a table, the floor, and the wall a few too many times in such a short span. It ached like nothing before.

She'd been kicked and punched, beaten and yelled out.

Add in that he had also been attempting to rape her for the second time in her life and it was pretty understandable that she wasn't exactly "right" at the moment.

When she'd arrived, her mother was already pretty much out by the stairs, Dawn wasn't too far behind. She walked in on him... drunk, crazy, just out of his mind, and almost about to do a rather unthinkable thing to his youngest daughter. Buffy hurried to get his attention off of her. Unfortunately, that led to him trying to the same with her.

It wasn't the first time he'd tried this, there had been the Faith incident and all where it had gotten really bad, but it didn't do much for preperation.

There was the usual fighting and the yelling, then attacking her like this.

She'd screamed and clawed and fought, pleaded, threatened and cried. She had been scared out of her mind after forcing the shock away.

She'd been pinned down on the floor first after taking a few hard blows and unable to keep herself up right and he took that as an opportunity, but she'd somehow managed to get him off of her and tried to get away. She couldn't remember what exactly had happened, but she remembered it.

He had managed to get ahold of her again though and that left her in this current position.

She was looking like quite the mess, tears streaming down her face, backed up against the wall, her hands were pinned together in one of his hands, painfully, she was sure they were bruised the holy fucking hell up, his other hand was up the skirt of her dress, touching her mound over her panties, thankfully she still had them on, and he was standing in between her legs, pressing into her and using his body to help pin her there.

She was so dizzy, in so much pain, she hadn't thought she had any fight left in her. She was so ready to just give in and let the darkness take her. Blacking out didn't seem like such a bad option at this point. This was all just too hard, too much.

She was just ready to give up.

Then Angel showed up.

Buffy blinked and tried to catch the last of whatever Hank was saying. She wasn't able to but she felt him buck up against her and had to fight not to throw up. Again.

Before Hank finished laughing at whatever it was he had said, Angel was right there, and he was off of her and the two men were flying across the room before landing, hard and loud, and continued sliding across the floor.

It had only been a few seconds between the time Angel stood in the doorway to him flying at her father, and it only took a few seconds for her to collapse down to the floor after he had been forced to reach her, but both seemed to have happened in slow motion for her.

She was too worn out to even brace herself so she hit down hard, then the rest of her topelled on over, meeting the floor, her head bouncing off of it.

OoOoO

For the second time in his life, Angel felt himself just snap.

For just a moment he took in the damage, looking over to where Joyce and Dawn were laid out, he thought back, old memories flooding him... it was too much like before, he took in the woman that he loved, that loved him, that was his world, his entire reason for being, then he took in the person responsible for all of her pain and misery. And he started to go.

Angel heard him say something along the lines of "Oh, the boyfriend, huh?" then chuckled before pushing up against Buffy.

Angel was throwing him off of her with as much force as he could, sending them both flying half a second later.

Eventually they came down. Hank hitting his back hard against the floor and went sliding, Angel practically on top of him, his fist connecting with Hank's face as he came down.

And he didn't stop.

Their slide ended, but Angel's attack didn't. His fist continued to meet flesh and bone, hitting so hard he was almost surprised it didn't go all the way through the man's face and body.

Hank was utterly shocked at first, not having expected this at all. And he did a piss poor job at recovering from it.

He tried to protect himself from Angel's attack but it wasn't working as well as he hoped. But when he saw Angel's head turn as if he heard something in the other room he took the opening and shoved him off and went after him.

Angel cursed at himself, feeling the back of his head cracking against something hard. Hank did a lot better than he would have expected given everything... at first anyway. It hadn't taken long for him to get back full control, hadn't taken long to knock Buffy's father out unconscious.

He gave a dark smile at the man after he'd blacked out then stood up, he looked down for a minute then brought one leg back slightly before kicking Hank as hard as he could a time or two.

He felt a dark stirring inside of him wanting to come back to life and forced himself to stop. Somehow. It took several minutes but he made himself gain as much control as he could muster then walked away, heading for Buffy.

Angel wiped his bloodied hands on his jeans and knelt down beside her.

He was still shaking, overflowing with hate and rage, fueled with aderenaline. He was doing his best though.

He sighed and bent even closer, whispering her name softly as he stroked her hair out of her face.

He only got a soft moan out of her as a response.

He sighed again. He edged closer and put his arms under her and began lifting her to him, hating how lifeless she felt.

He was trying to be as careful as he could, and he began to stand up. Connor almost ruined that though as he came bounding in breathlessly. Angel hissed out a curse his way, his eyes blazing, and he grabbed Buffy a bit tighter, hoping he wasn't hurting her, and went about trying to ease his mind again.

"Holy shit," Connor breathed out as he began to take in the scene around him. "She alright?"

"Go help them," Angel nodded to where Dawn and Joyce were laid out. His eyes went back to Buffy and he began walking them over to the couch.

As he moved out of the way, Connor could partly see to where Hank had fallen and he felt a stab of fear. His eyes dashed over to his brother but he was busy taking care of Buffy. 'Fuck!' "Angel?"

Angel turned his head and glared when he noticed that Connor hadn't moved. "What?" he growled.

Connor was silent for a long moment. He couldn't form the words, so instead he just nodded toward the other room. "He... You didn't... again..."

"No."

Connor breathed a sigh of relief and left it at that. Angel laid down beside Buffy on the bed as he ran over to the two other Summers women.

OoOoO

Angel wanted nothing more than to just remain here, lying beside Buffy, his arms wrapped around her, just listening to her breathing... making sure she still was. But he knew that wasn't going to happen.

It wasn't very long after Connor's arrival that the police, ambulance and even a fire truck arrived as well.

His put off having to moved as long as he could, ignoring the first few policemen as they'd come in, but he knew what he had to do. He knew he'd have a lot of explaining to do about this.

He carried Buffy out to the paramedics then went to get it over with.

OoOoO

Buffy wasn't used to being the first one to start recovering, be the one hurt the least, and she liked it even less.

She woke up in a strange hospital room groaning, trying to remember what had happened.

Her head hurt and the rest of her wasn't fairing any better. She became worried once her sister and mother came to mind, wondering where and how they were. She knew they were in much worse shape than she and it scared her to no end not to know.

She thought about trying to climb out of the bed and going to investigate... but she knew at this point that she'd only end up falling on her face. She wasn't sure she'd survive it.

She also briefly remembered Angel having shown up and she looked around the room to find him... but he wasn't there. She felt even more worried.

With a shaking hand, she pushed the nurses call button.

OoOoO

Several days passed, no sign of Angel. He hadn't come to see her, hadn't called, hadn't even sent any flowers or gifts. Anything.

Then again, it was a two way street and she hadn't exactly tried to get in contact with him either.

Buffy sighed, laying her head against Dawn. She still was pretty fuzzy on what had happened, sometimes she felt as though she knew more from when she was knocked out than from when she'd still been awake, but the police who'd come to talk to her had filled in what the could.

She was supposed to be happy, her nightmare was over, her father was going to pay for everything he had put them through, the truth was final out there. He wasn't going to touch them ever again. They were free. But Buffy honestly didn't know how she really felt, maybe she just wasn't used to it, maybe...

All three of them were doing much better but still had a long road to recovery, in more ways than one. Buffy worried about what would happen to Joyce, if anything, because of this, because she'd failed to protect them for so long.

She wondered about Angel, her loving, perfect boyfriend who'd saved the day... then disappeared on her without a word.

She felt ashamed that now everyone knew... but so overcome by everyone who'd came to see them or called offering this and that, kind words, bringing food or clothes, flowers and gifts, everyone wanting to help. It was equally embarrassing and kind.

Buffy looked over to her mother, she was just sitting in her bed, staring at her hands. They really hadn't talked about all of this, least not to each other. She wondered what was going through her mind, how she felt about all of this.

Honestly, she was worried though. What if she didn't feel the same way? What if... she did?

OoOoO

It was about a week and half before Buffy was given hope of leaving the hospital. They said they could all probably go home by the weekend. Not that she exactly looked forward to going back to that house, but she also wasn't thrilled about the hospital either.

She also found herself receiving a message from Jenny that day. It came in the shape of flowers and a card that read 'Angel would be there if he could. He misses you. We all hope you feel better soon.' It was signed simply 'J.'

The front of the card had both their names on it though.

It caused her heart to lurch, missing him suddenly more than she had the whole stay. She wondered where he was, why he wasn't, couldn't be there with her. She'd asked the policemen about him when they'd come but they said he wasn't being held by them any longer, that he wasn't in any trouble. So she had no idea what to think anymore.

OoOoO

It had been days ago now, in the early hours of morning when the banging on his door came and the last person that he, Daniel Holtz, would have ever imagined to be on the other side was one Liam Angelus.

But there he stood. Looking quite terrible.

"Holtz," Angel said, his voice not as calm as he was trying for. He rubbed his hand nervously across his face and looked away, down the dark street then back to Holtz then to his feet.

Daniel couldn't help but stare, taking him in. Angel did not look well at all. He'd never seen him anything but locked up and edgy, but almost calm... and he'd seen the boy right after they'd gotten him out of that house after the murders of his family.

Whatever had happened, whatever had brought him here, he knew could not be good.

"Angel," he finally spoke, his voice almost making Angel jump.

The boy cursed under his breath then looked across the street. Holtz looked with him.

"Who is that?" he asked, squinting at the car that had the boy's attention.

"Jenny," he answered, "And Connor."

"Do you want to go get them?"

"No..." he shook his head then looked down. "No."

"Alright," he said then paused for a long moment. "Do you want me to take you to..."

Again, Angel shook his head. "No," he whispered.

A long pause came again then he sighed. "Come inside so we can talk."

Angel looked up, he looked almost to be on the brink of tears. He looked back one more time at the car across the road then turned around, running his hand through his hair, which got Daniel's attention but he remained quiet for the moment.

Finally Angel nodded and followed the older man inside.

OoOoO

"You haven't changed anything," Angel said, looking around after taking a seat.

"Angel, I can only seem to recall you actually coming here, to my home, maybe twice."

He shrugged.

Daniel smiled softly and then looked around for a moment. "There," he pointed, "I got that rug."

He turned to look at it for a moment. "You're right," he said then paused for a beat, "it's ugly."

Daniel couldn't help but laugh. And he couldn't help but notice that this was not the same kid sitting before him that had years ago. Something had changed, not just whatever had brought him here, something before that, something bigger. And, it seemed, for the better.

He couldn't remember Angel ever having said anything more than he was required to. Nor cracking jokes about his home furnishings.

It made him worried about why he was now sitting in his living room.

"I don't think you are here to criticize my home decor," he said softly after a moment.

"No," he answered then took his time before speaking again. He looked around the house, what he could see of it anyway, it really was exactly as he'd remembered it. "I um... I figured that you probably needed to know if I... you know... did... something... again."

Daniel sucked in his breath. "Such as?"

"Almost killing my girlfriend's father, for example."

At least he'd said that perfectly calm.

Daniel remained calm himself, with a little extra force. He supposed he should know something about that, but he'd work his way to it. He'd get over one shock at a time.

"You have a girlfriend now?"

Angel nodded softly. He'd hoped he still did anyway.

'That's new,' Daniel thought to himself. He knew how Angel was around people. He had only seen him a few times after his aunt Jenny had taken him and his brother in, but he knew he hadn't really changed much over the years, and, if anything, he'd gotten worse.

Until now apparently.

It made him curious. He also felt very cautious about asking the young man anything... but he couldn't help it. "How long have you been seeing this... girl of yours?"

"Buffy. Her name is Buffy Summers. And... not very long actually, she just moved to Sunnydale about six weeks ago. We started more or less officially dating about a week after that."

Daniel wasn't sure what to me the most shocked at. The fact that this girl's name seemed to ring a distant bell to him, that she'd somehow been responsible for whatever had changed in Angel in such a short period of time, or the fact that he'd even answered at all, and had managed to make his voice a bit more calm as he'd spoken of her. In fact, this whole entire ordeal was still very hard to believe.

Liam Angelus did not come to you, you had to force him, which was not easy, to come to you. He answered only what he had to and kept everything he possibly could to himself. He did not offer up information, you had to pry it from him and hope he didn't become overly aggitated in the process.

He'd always been... hard, locked up, but quiet and calm. He had too much control for someone who'd went through what he had. But here he was, falling apart, for as far as Holtz knew, the first time.

And he came here, to him.

"You seem different."

Angel's head snapped up, he narrowed his eyes for a moment then just looked at him questiongly.

"I mean besides all of this," he waved a hand at the boy, "You just seem different," he repeated.

"I've been getting that a lot recently," he answered then looked down, fighting a surprise smile, "She makes me talk to people."

OoOoO

Holtz had debated whether or not to bring up this girl's father or not, or to continue asking questions about the girl herself.

He continued to watch in amazement as Angel would grow more relaxed as he spoke of her. He also continued to rack his brain for where he thought he knew of her from. So far, he was still coming up short.

Finally though, he decided that sooner was probably better than later, and dared to ask. "What happened between you and Buffy's father?"

Quicker than a wink, Angel's face darkened. He started to look twitchy again. He shifted nervously against the seat cushions.

"Angel?"

Sighing, Angel began to explain.

Again, Holtz found himself at bit of a loss. This was some pretty heavy deja vu. A lifetime of abuse, walking in on a rape situation of someone that he loved and care for, going after them... He couldn't imagine what this poor boy must be feeling.

OoOoO

Days later, he still couldn't. And honestly, he did his best not to.

After Angel had told him everything about that night and his visit with the police and them asking Jenny to bring him here, he decided that was enough for right then.

He offered Angel and his family a place to stay but he'd refused. He saw him again later in the day though, and he asked more about Buffy and his relationship with her. He could tell it pained him to be here and not with her so he asked about that.

It seemed that coming to talk with him wasn't the only reason for Angel's return.

"She doesn't know, does she?" Daniel asked, breaking the very tense silence.

Angel was twitchy again today. His eyes were wide, his breath uneven, he was visibly shaking. "No," he answered, never taking his eyes off of the house before him.

He felt overwhelmed with nausea, memories of what had happened in there playing on his mind. These days they rarely showed up anywhere but his dreams. This was a lot to handle.

Then he added, "I'm going to tell her."

Daniel was silent for a long time. "You don't have to do this," he said softly. He didn't even want to go in that house.

"Yeah, I do."

OoOoO

Angel took his time looking around his childhood home. He could stare around at the walls, the empty rooms, and imagine everything that had once been there down to almost every detail. No one had lived here since... that certainly helped. As did the last time he'd been here, trying to commit everything to memory, trying to think of anything but the dead bodies he remained in the room with those last few days, knowing he wasn't going to see it again.

Or, well, that'd been the plan at the time anyway.

Angel walked around the entire downstairs, taking in each and ever room, even the hall closets and such. When he made it full circle he stood in front of the large front door and closed his eyes, remembering.

Shaking himself quickly, he started walking, taking the same path he had that night, dread tickling his spine as it had that same night.

When he got to the top of the stairs he paused. He was unsure of whether or not he wanted to continue as he had... or if he should look around first.

Finally, he turned, not yet ready to deal and began wandering, reimagining his home as it had once been. The downstairs had been all but bare, but some items were scattered about up here. A few pieces of furniture, two stuffed animals in pretty bad shape, a nightlight... just a few random things, each felt like a blow to the stomach.

Angel spent twice as much time in his old bedroom. For some reason, he'd always had trouble remembering it... but now, standing in the middle of it, it all sort of came back to him.

When he had his fill, he gave a long look out the window then turned away, heading for the door.

He only had two more stops to make.

He didn't know exactly where Body #4 had been exactly, but that didn't stop him from trying to figure it out.

He also knew there was no use in playing with all the what if's in his mind, but he also couldn't stop that. He lowered himself down to the ground and sighed, whispering out a sorry to the empty hallway.

Tearing himself away, he started down the hall to the last room he had yet to enter. He felt a chill run down his spine as he rounded the corner. His hand shook as it laid out on the doorknob.

He wondered if he could actually do this.

OoOoO

Daniel almost jumped out of his skin as he felt someone come to stand beside him. Connor smiled apologeticly at him then looked at the house, much as Angel had earlier.

"He really went inside?"

Daniel nodded. "He's been in there quite some time now. I'm starting to get worried. I was thinking about going in..."

Connor thought for a long moment. "I'll go," he breathed quietly.

Before Daniel could say anything, he was off.

OoOoO

Connor cross his arms over his chest as he entered. The chill going through him didn't have much to do with Boston's fall weather.

He looked through the house as Angel had, going room to room, slow but not as thoroughly as his older brother had.

Finished with the downstairs he looked up wearily at the stairs. He took a deep breathe then started for them, climbing slow and silently.

He skipped many rooms upstairs, he knew there were too many memories that could flood him behind closed doors. There was one specific room he knew he had to go to, no matter how much he knew it would hurt.

He took his time in reaching it, standing outside trying to calm himself down, wondering what he would find on the other side. In some dark place in his mind he feared he'd find the scene he wished to never see with his own eyes, as though the bodies would have remained there all this time. Perfectly preserved or something.

Instead, he only found Angel, shaking, sweating, white as a ghost, sitting against the wall, once he found the courage to enter. Angel was gripping his legs as tight as he possibly could, his eyes were unblinking, he just stared ahead.

Whatever had taken place in here, Connor knew his brother was reliving it.

He cautiously approached his brother, kneeling down beside him. Connor placed his hand gently on Angel's shoulder then leaned in. "They're gone, Angel," he whispered.

OoOoO

Buffy was just finishing up her release forms when she saw him out of the corner of her eye. Her heart stopped as she turned her head, then started again, going into double time, as she took him in.

Sure, he looked like hell ran over, but he was there.

His eyes met hers and as she saw tears glistening in those perfect chocolate eyes of his, she felt her own tears start to spill over. He looked down for what seemed like an eternity then started for her.

He was moving far too slow for her liking however so she came running, meeting him halfway, throwing her arms around him.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice breaking.

Buffy shook her head against him and jumped more securely into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. He tried to tell her he was sorry again, his tone breaking her heart into a million pieces, so she cut him off before he could finish, her head pulling back slightly, her lips crushing against his.


	20. Chapter Twenty

God, he was in so much pain. Buffy could feel it flow through her as he waste no time in responding to her.

It was powerful, painful and wanted to eat her alive but she wouldn't let go of him.

Instead, Buffy pulled him closer, her legs wrapping tighter around his waist, her arms around his neck as she kissed him hungrily, unable to get enough. Wanting to make both of their pain go away.

She wasn't sure how long they remained like that, making out heavily in the middle of the hallway, but it was over too soon for her liking. She closed her eyes and tried to get her breathing and heart rate back to normal as she clutched onto him for dear life.

Angel held her tighter as well, his head buried in the crook of her neck and he kept whispering he was sorry over and over, breaking her heart even more.

"Angel," she panted, leaning her head against his, "stop it."

And he went silent at that, thinking, but whatever he was trying to figure out how to say in his head she didn't want to hear.

"I love you," she said, pulling back some so she could look at him. One of her hands dropped from his neck and went in search of his chin, lifting it up so she could see those pain stricken eyes. "I love you," she repeated. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You saved my life."

He was silent again. He had so much to apologize for, more than she realized, more than she knew. Yet. But she would soon and that was just more added to this long list. "I should have been here," he finally said.

Buffy shook her head. "You're here now. That's all I care about."

"You needed me."

"Angel, I have never needed you more than I do right now." And boy, was that ever the truth.

He looked down, his expression heartbreakingly sad, again with the silence.

"Angel?"

"Do you want me to take you to Jen's?" he asked softly after a long pause. "She's here with Connor if your mom and sister want to come over as well..."

Buffy laid her head down on his shoulder and nodded yes.

He hesitated but bent his head to kiss her softly. "Okay," he whispered then started walking.

OoOoO

"Wait here for a minute alright?" he asked softly as Jenny's car pulled in behind them.

Buffy felt her stomach churn at that tone of his voice there again but she nodded.

Angel looked like he was going to say something... but he just sighed and reached for the door. As he closed it, he looked her over one last time then started walking toward the other car.

Buffy let out a large breath that she'd been holding in since this tense car ride began. She hated being this uncomfortable around Angel. She hated how hurt he was, how she didn't know how to fix it, how worried it made her feel about him... and their relationship now. She hated the thoughts running through her head.

Sighing loudly, she looked behind her, watching Connor walking with Dawn in his arms and Angel starting to lift her mother into his.

This was how they were at the hospital too. Joyce was stubborn about walking herself then though and he had his arms full at the time but apparently she wasn't getting out of this. Angel kicked the door closed and started walking as she looked away, down at her hands in her lap. She felt his eyes on her as he walked passed but didn't look up.

He came bounding back out of the house a few moments later, walking over to where she still sat in the passenger's seat of his car. He opened the door and slowly bent in, his arms wrapping around her as hers did the same.

Soon he was kicking the door shut behind them and walking the front door as he had with Joyce.

OoOoO

"Buffy, would you like anything?" Jenny asked after taking requests from the two other Summers women as they came in the door.

Buffy shook her head and snuggled closer to Angel's chest. She looked up at him through her eyelashes briefly then over to the couch where her mother and sister were. It was only a quick glace though as she was moving, Angel was still walking.

As they passed Jenny, she heard him whisper something to her, leaning carefully over to her. She couldn't make out what he was saying though.

After he finished saying whatever it was, he walked them to the kitchen and quickly grabbed a few items before turning around and heading for his bedroom.

Buffy felt a rush of happiness through her as they crossed through the doorway. This was the only place she wanted to be.

It gave her hope.

Angel reached one arm down and pulled the covers out of the way before laying Buffy down. He offered her a small smile and reached for the small batch of sodas and snacks he'd grabbed from the kitchen and moved them over to his nightstand, then he crawled into the bed beside her, pulling her against him, then dragging the blanket back up over them.

He was having a hard time keeping it together, but he was trying. He just had to make it through this one last day. Tomorrow he could fall apart. He would fall apart. But right now, he needed to hold it together.

This was supposed to be his last selfish act, one last day with her.

Tomorrow he could ruin it. Tomorrow he could tell her. Tomorrow she'd know the truth. Tomorrow he'd explain what had happened before her, before Sunnydale, before... just before. Tomorrow he would lose her. But he needed today.

She could hate him for that tomorrow, too.

Angel sighed, looking down at this tiny blonde teenage girl in his arms. His hand cupped her cheek softly as he stared down, locking in every last detail, memorizing what he wasn't ready to lose.

"I love you," he whispered as she smiled up at him. His fingers lightly danced across her cheek before he leaned closer to her, his lips seeking hers.

OoOoO

Angel didn't sleep a wink. He was used to it, but that wasn't exactly the issue at hand.

He had a harder time dealing as Buffy slept, the whole house slept, and all he could do was worry as he stared down at her, at the clock, then outside as morning crept up on him.

He tried to not think about it, instead thinking back on happier memories of the two of them, but that would only remind him again sooner or later.

As light began to pour in through the windows, he all but lost it. It wouldn't be too long before she was awake and this day began. And he wasn't ready.

He had his last day, but it wasn't enough. He was more than thankful for it though. For every second of it. But it just wasn't enough.

OoOoO

Mostly, the two of them had stayed cuddled together on his bed just forgetting about the rest of the world for awhile.

Jenny was the only one who bothered distracting them, once, and only to ask if they wanted to come out for dinner. Buffy said she wasn't hungry at the time so they remained there together and no one else came around to check on them.

They talked some, but it remained uncomfortable. Plus, Buffy had it up to here with his apologizing and he had a bad habit of letting one out every five minutes when they'd try for a conversation.

The silence was a bit more bearable.

Laying there, holding onto one another, talking without words seemed easier.

After Buffy had fallen asleep for a short nap Angel made sure to feed her. He knew she wouldn't have taken care of herself properly at the hospital and also knew she hadn't eaten anything other than a bag of chips since he brought her home, so quietly he headed for the kitchen and made her a mini feast.

She complained, still stating she was not hungry, but humored him anyway.

Then after cleaning up, he lead her to the bathroom and began another one of his thorough inspections. She was hurt, but he could unfortunately think of a thousand ways she could be worse off than she was. He also knew that she was more emotionally hurt than anything else. And that he wasn't sure how to fix... and he was just hours away from making it harder on her.

As he went to grab her clothing so she could put them back on, Buffy asked if it was alright if she took a shower. Actually, she asked if they could, but he ignored his invitation to join in and told her it was fine as he dropped a quick kiss on her forehead.

She smiled and began removing the last of her clothing so he decided to put some distance between the two of them and started warming the water for her.

Fisting his hands in his pockets, he turned around and watched her take the few steps to him.

Buffy cocked her head slightly. "You're not coming?"

"Not this time," he answered with a sigh, "But I'll be right here if you need me alright?"

Buffy pouted then gave a sly smile. "What if I said I needed you now?"

Angel smiled and removed his hands from his jeans pockets, placing them on her hips and lifting her up over the edge of the bathtub and placing her under the warm spray of the showerhead. "I'll be out here," he told her again then closed the shower curtain before he changed his mind.

He walked over to the sink and hopped up on the counter to wait until she was finished.

OoOoO

He was helping her dry her hair when there a small knock on the door. Angel hurried to make sure she was all properly covered by her towel, then cracked the door open to see a very sleepy looking Dawn.

"Oh, sorry!"

He smiled. "No, it's alright. You can come in," he said with a quick look back at Buffy and opened the door for her sister when she nodded. "I'll be across the hall," he told them then took his exit to give them some privacy.

A few minutes later he heard their muffled goodnights to one another then Buffy entered the room. Still wearing nothing but a towel.

She closed and locked the door behind her then sauntered over to the bed, dropping the towel before sliding her body onto of his. "Hi there."

Angel groaned, his hands shooting to her skin unable to keep from touching her. "You're going to be the death of me."

She smiled at this. "Oh, but what a way to go," she teased.

He couldn't disagree.

Thankfully, some part of his brain remembered how wrong all of this was and kept him from losing complete self control by the end of the night. But it was close.

He knew pretty much one hundred percent certain he was losing her when tomorrow started and that stirred too many emotions inside of him. One being an increased, overpowering need. He wanted to memorize every last thing about her, afraid he would never get the chance to again, afraid that one day he might forget. He wanted to lock in her every detail. They way she looked, how she felt, how she responded to him, the sound of her voice, that twinkle in her eyes when she was being absolutely devious with him, the way she tasted, her smell. Everything.

He wanted to touch, to taste every inch of her for the last time. He wanted to do everything he would never have a chance to more than ever.

OoOoO

Somehow, last night he managed to gather enough strength to pull away before he did something they'd both regret.

As he felt Buffy shift beside him, he wondered how he would today.

Angel wrapped his arms tighter around her still naked body and pulled her as close to him as she could get enjoying his last moments.

OoOoO

"Angel, you don't have to do this," Jenny told him softly, her face not masking her worrying about this one bit.

"Yeah," he breathed out heavily, "I do. I'll be fine Jen, don't worry," he lied, trying to shoo her out of the house with the others so he could get this over with.

Jenny's eyes glanced over to where Connor was chatting up Joyce and Dawn as she talked with her very damaged nephew. She sighed knowing it was what it was. "Tell her the truth, Angel."

His eyes hardened. "What do you think I'm trying to do?"

She sighed again, for once all but unfazed by a show of anger from him. She had too much on her mind for that. "I mean, tell her everything. Tell her why."

His eyes darted away. "Doesn't matter why Jen," he said, leaving it at that. At least out loud, in his head though, he continued. 'I still snapped. It still happened. One night, I snuck back into the house and without even one second of hesitating, I killed them. I attacked and murdered them Jen. I had reason upon reason for what I've done, but that does not make it right.'

Angel knew it was more than just that moment though too. He knew that as a person he lost it, he snapped. He wasn't himself anymore from that moment on. It wasn't just about what he'd done.

Jenny didn't agree with him but she decided against arguing and just hoped for the best.

She asked the others if they were ready to go and let Connor lead them out as she walked over to Buffy who was still seated at the table eating her breakfast. She knew Angel was burning holes into her but again, she found herself able to remain uncaring.

Her arms wrapped around the small blonde, hugging her tightly. "Angel loves you very much, please don't forget that," she whispered in her ear wishing she knew what else to say, anything to say that would make this easier. She fully understood how wrong this could all go, understood that Buffy could easily become terrified of him or be angry at him for not telling her earlier and so on, but she hoped for the best anyway.

She patted Buffy's hand one more time then turned around and headed for the door, ignoring Angel's glare as she passed him.

Angel watched the four of them drive off then made sure everything was set out there. Satisfied, he closed the screen door, making sure it was unlocked, then the front door, checking for the same.

If she wanted to run out of here screaming or something of the sort he wanted to make sure it went as easily as possible.

"I'll be back in a minute," he mumbled as he walked passed her and headed down the hall to Jenny's room.

He wasn't sure where to find what he was looking for so it took a bit of searching but finally he stumbled onto some of the photos he was looking for. He figured they might help with the story, not that he really wanted anything to do with them.

When he and Connor had move in, she took all of the photos from around her house down and hid them away at their request. She didn't seem to mind and she understood but she kept the photos around for herself. She even had the ones she'd asked to be gathered up with the rest of their belongings that they'd had brought down.

He looked through them quickly, grabbing ones he needed, ignoring the stabbing pain he felt, then hurried out of there. He went into his room and grabbed Buffy's cell phone and a pair of shoes then headed back to her.

She was finished with her cereal now so he knew he had nothing else stopping him.

"Put these on," he told her softly, laying the shoes in the chair closest to her.

She looked up at him confused but after a moment she did as she was told.

Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed her phone and the keys to Joyce's car and slid them to her as well.

Again, he got a look of complete confusion but he didn't say anything. He slowly walked around the table, sat the pile of photographs down on the table, facing away from him, and sat down in a chair he hoped was far enough of way from her and rubbed his eyes for a long moment.

Leaning back, he crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. "The door is unlocked and you are more than free to leave, I won't stop you or hurt you or anything like that," he began unhappily. "Your mom's car is outside. There is also a cab out there if you would rather because I know you don't have your license and aren't exactly comfortable with driving and it's fully paid for. I would much rather you go with that option and not drive... err... upset... on top of everything else, but I understand if you feel even less comfortable with that option. Just please be careful. And please do not try running off on foot in your condition."

"Angel?" she broke in, her voice worried and confused.

"You have your phone, you can call your mom or Willow or whoever. Hell, I'll leave if you want that instead. Just please, please be careful."

"Angel... I don't understand..."

Buffy started to stand and he all but flew out of his chair, holding one hand up to hault her. "Buffy, just sit down okay," his voice was almost pleading, "Let me get this out."

"Angel..."

"Buffy please."

She looked upset but sat down and waited.

Taking a deep breath, he sat back down as well. After a long moment of silence he began talking to her again. He explained one again she was more than free to leave, that Jenny was more than ready to bring her mom and sister to her or take them home or whatever without any problems, that he wasn't going to hurt her, that he loved her and he was sorry. Angel thanked her for being in his life and apologized many more times over.

"I love you," he repeated one last time, his voice breaking.

Then he started.

OoOoO

With his hands visibly shaking, Angel reached for the small stack of photographs and flipped them over and slid two from the top of the pile toward Buffy.

He really had no idea where to begin. Just blurting it all out didn't exactly seem to be the best of ideas... so instead he just went with whatever came to mind first and hoped it worked.

"My father was barely twenty-one years old when he met my mother. She had just graduated from high school," he began slowly, his voice tired. "I guess it was pretty much love at first sight. Dad was over here on a business trip, but since it was his first time visiting the US, he made sure to manage to do a little sight seeing and exploring on his off hours. And that was how he met her. And after that point, he spent any extra time he had on his hands with her until he it was time for him to return back home. But before he did, he promised that he'd see her again, and it didn't take him very long to keep that promise, returning to her only a few weeks later. He could only stay for a few days but they were meaningful, all with very good reason as on his last day before having to take off again he asked her to marry him."

Angel shifted in his chair for a moment.

"Mom wanted a simple life," he almost laughed at that statement, "an old fashioned one. Her goals were pretty much finish school, find a man, get married and become a full time mom and housewife. She had no desire for further education or a career, just a family. And after accepting his proposal, she was well on her way. Dad, of course, didn't mind. He was just infatuated and wanted to make her happy by any means necessary. Mom stayed here in the States and Dad in Ireland for the engagement though he would come over whenever he could during those months. It wasn't a very long engagement but Mom still got her dream wedding."

Angel pushed some more photos her way.

"They were married at her parents house, they headed off on their Honeymoon and then she moved in and their life together begun."

Angel honestly didn't know much about the life his parents had together. His dad passed away when he was still so young and his mother... well, never really talked about it. Anything he knew came in bits and pieces in passing from various people in his life and sources. So he just went with the little he did know.

"They actually had a few years together before I came into the picture. Mom had wanted to jump right in but they ended up taking some time to themselves, actually getting to know one another, building that relationship first and waited for the right time for something more. So, nine months after that time came, there I was. Baby makes three," he slid a baby picture of himself over to her.

Then one of Connor as well, "And not before long, Connor came, making it four."

Buffy smiled down at the photographs in her hands and he quickly looked away. In fact, he was trying to avoid actually looking at her as much as possible. It was too hard.

"Mom had bit of a hard time after Connor was born. Just... in life, in general. Dad had been promoted at work while she was still pregnant with Con so he was working longer hours which started to make her loneliness kind of hit her. She had packed up and moved away from her family, friends, and all she knew when they were married. Dad had no family in their eyes," Angel felt his jaw wanting to clench, "He'd ran off from his home when he was about fifteen and hadn't seen them since, hadn't wanted to."

'For good reason,' he added silently, angry.

"She hadn't seen her own in quite some time by then, only her father had been able to travel over when I was born. And friends, she hadn't seen so many of them. She had made some new onse but she didn't really have anyone she was that close to. So she was rather homesick and lonely. And when Dad figured it out, he went right into trying to fix it. But, in the end, the only thing he found was moving her closer to home though. Letting her go back to where she was happy and more comfortable. So, that's what he did. He found a house and a new job and moved us to Boston. Her parents were still there in Cleveland, but they hadn't really wanted to just move right on top of them and her old life. It was new but familiar. Mom was happy again. In return, so was he."

'Yep. Perfect little family,' he thought bitterly.

"Then, before you know it, late one evening, tragedy hit. And all of our lives were forever changed," he sighed. "Dad had been rushing home from work as he was running late for dinner plans he had set up with Mom when some drunk teenager ran his light and went crashing into Dad's car."

Angel closed his eyes and took a moment. Sure, he hardly remembered him but he was still his father, a great one at that, and losing him hurt. Losing the life he could have had... It wasn't hard to imagine how different things could have turned out if he were still here.

Shaking himself out of his might have been's, Angel continued, "Life sort of fell apart for all of us once he was gone. Mom had no idea what to do and she ended up making some bad choices."

'To put it lightly.'

"Mom... I guess Dad never told her why he'd disowned his family... at least, I would really like to believe that's the case... but yeah... she somehow ended up tracking them down. She explained to them who she was, let them know what had happened to Dad, and she even went about inviting them to the funeral and to get to know us."

Angel shook his head and reached for another picture, not daring to look at it.

"His parents came, one of his brothers, and both of his sisters. They stayed for awhile, getting to know us and whatever, but they had their own lives to get back to... so everyone but my new-found grandfather and one of my uncles left."

Angel paused for a moment, his eyes daring to look over toward Buffy.

She had the new picture in her hand staring at it closely, then she laid it down with the others, her eyes drifting over them one at a time.

He was glad she was interested in them, not sure if he could handle this if she was just sitting there listening to him, watching him the whole time.

Buffy's head began to turn his way so he looked back down at the table and sighed again.

"I don't really know why they..." he trailed off, "What exactly they were thinking..." 'Not that I would want to,' he thought to himself. "But I guess they just saw Mom and just the whole situation we were in as an... opportunity."

He could feel the odd look he was getting from Buffy but that was the best he could do for right now.

"Mom was pretty vocal about her worries to any and everyone who would listen. And that included Dad's long lost family. She was terrified though, Mom didn't know how to survive on her own. Well, on her own with two toddlers and another baby on the way anyhow."

He knew he was getting another, very different look for his soon-to-be ex at that information but he wasn't ready to talk about that just yet.

"Her parents had gotten older, her mother had a hard time taking care of herself, and she knew she couldn't just go back. All of her own brothers and sisters had their own lives as well and she knew she couldn't just bombard on them either. She still had not worked a day in her whole life or ever been on her own. She really had no idea what she was going to do. So, you can imagine how happy she was when presented with an idea for everything to be taken care of."

Another picture headed Buffy's way.

"The two of them stayed with us at the house for a long time, jumping right into taking care of us. They helped Mom out a lot with things Dad left undone. They both would watch me and Connor when asked, they paid for our bills and anything else we needed, they helped Mom out with the baby, taking her to her checkups, putting the nursery together, all of that. They were there when Mom needed somebody to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. They were picture perfect."

Angel was amazed he kept his voice close to even as he said that. Then again, he knew he had a lot more to cover.

Losing it now wouldn't make that any easier.

"Eventually, my grandfather did leave, but the other half of the duo decided he wanted to stay. For good. Dad had barely been gone a few months when she accepted to marry his brother. A man she'd never known anything about while he was still alive, who she still didn't honestly know. A man who was just swooping in to take Dad's place in any way that he could. But Mom was a weak woman and in her head she didn't have any other choice. He moved in pretty much immediately after, but they didn't have the wedding until..."

Angel's hands were shaky again as he went to reach for the photo pile. The ones he was looking for were under the current one on top. It was there as a bumper only. He didn't think he could handle trying to talk while they were in his line of sight.

He hoped Buffy would place them far enough away when she sat them down with the rest he'd shown.

He hadn't even looked at them when he grabbed them out, just a quick glance then took some blindly. Hell, he didn't even know if they were all even of her but he wasn't going to check.

He watched Buffy's hand come out to take them, as well as a one from his mother's second wedding, then he leaned back in the chair.

"They got married maybe a month after my sister was born."

"What's her name?" Buffy asked suddenly before he could say anything more. The sound of her voice almost made him jump.

"Kathy," he choked out a whisper, "Katherine Marie Angelus."

"Where is she? Why isn't she staying here with Jenny like you and Connor?"

He froze, a stabbing pain threatening to overtake him.

An image flashed through his mind and he had to brace himself against the chair and table in front of him to keep from falling over.

"Angel?" Buffy asked concered. "Are you alright?" She started to stand up and he hurried to kick his mind back into gear, holding up a hand to stop her. Then he held up one index finger to indicate he needed a moment.

When he was done, he softly told her he couldn't answer that just yet but he was getting to it.

Buffy nodded then looked back down at the pictures as he tried to swallow the lump formed in his throat.

He knew he had to get this out soon or else he wasn't going to be able to.

That threw a whole new kind of dread his way.

"I don't know when things changed," he finally spoke, clearing his throat before he continued as it wasn't quite back to normal, "or if they even did, that maybe I just hadn't known or noticed. I don't know when she realized why... she'd never met these people, why Dad had run away from them. Honestly, I don't know if she already knew when he was still alive, if she'd found out when they finally met, or if it happened after he moved in or they got married or whatever else. But the day came when I realized that things were not right in my family. I don't know when he started to hit her or when I started to notice. I don't know when it started for me even. Just the moment I realized... I guess what it meant. That this wasn't right. And it wasn't just him, his father came to visit a lot and you knew where he got all that anger from."

Angel shuddered as the thought passed that he knew where he got his from too.

"I was not his child, I never really developed any feelings for him, so I had no sense of wanting to protect him or anything like that. So, once it all hit me, I decided to do something about it. Unfortunately, you and I had the same results when it came to telling someone."

Angel heard her breath come out as a hiss.

'Yeah.'

"No one believes you so in return they didn't look that much into it. Especially when everyone else denies it. They blame it on you acting out. And with the whole lost a parent at a young age and the living one remarried so the kid is bound to act up thing there... it was easier to believe that. And why in the world would such a nice, handsome family man do such a thing anyway? He's always so great with them... and all that bullshit. And you're left alone. And now you're in deep shit for what you've done. So, my life became an even worse living hell than it had been. More so when, like you, you decide to take everything. You protect everyone else. I may have learned to hate my mother for this life she threw us into and refused to get us away from, but I didn't want to see her hurt by them. And Kathy and Connor..." Angel shook his head.

"I'm sorry," Buffy whispered.

Again this was almost something to laugh at.

There was still so much left to this story.

Angel's foot began to bounce restlessly off the floor.

"I really did hate her though, my mother," he felt another stab of pain as he told her that but it was true, he could remember exactly how it felt, remember every single reason why. "I thought she was a horrible mother," his hand waved in the air, "A horrible human being," his hand fell down to his face, his fingers pushing and rubbing against his lips. "I tried... for so long... but she..." he snorted and shook his head, "I tried. I begged for her to do something, to just get up and leave. I tried to explain to her and get it through to her that she was better than this and she wasn't as weak as she thought and she didn't need him. That we would be okay. Better. But she wasn't listening. She would just cry and apologize, at least sometimes, and say she needed his money or she was afraid... She would beg me to understand. My pleas turned into anger and yelling. Something would happen and I'd go off, yelling that this was all her fault, that she needed to do something. But she remained the same. It never mattered what I did. How I tried to get out of this. It just didn't matter."

Out of the corner of his eye, Angel saw Buffy wiping a trail of tears from her eyes. She understood. Far more than he wished she did. So much about their lives were the same.

Too much.

"We almost had a way out when Kathy's school became worried about her. She'd suddenly changed and they noticed it. This was right after the first time Connor and I had been sent to spend the night elsewhere for a few days when our Grandfather came to town. Didn't think anything of it," he whispered so low he doubted Buffy caught that last bit. "They tried talking to her and to us but no one was giving any answers. They tried for awhile and even threatened to take more action... but nothing ever came of it for one reason or another, but I didn't let go as easily. I noticed she was different. I noticed Mom was, too after that. No one was telling me jack either but I didn't stop asking. I just knew something... And she only got worse. She was so scared all the time. And not just of him, but all of us. She'd burst out crying if you touched her or clam up when just being anywhere near her. She was no longer a loud, running wild, happy type of kid. She was quiet and reserved. Lost. She wouldn't tell me what was going on though. And I... I did not put pieces together. Some thoughts, even as bad as my life was, just never crossed my mind."

"Oh, God," Buffy breathed, starting to understand. "Oh, no, no no..."

'Too much,' he repeated to himself.

Angel slumped down in the chair, letting his head fall back against the top and closed his eyes.

"That is as good of a lead up as I am going to get," he told her. His voice was again surprisingly calmer than he'd imagined.

But he was anything but.

He had to tell her.

His eyes re-opened and he slowly looked over to her. Her eyes met his but he could barely see them. He was trying to get one last look at her but he couldn't see straight.

With a heavy heart, he gave up.

He remained in silence, thinking back to some of his memories over the past few weeks with her. Those he could make out a little more clearly though they hurt just the same. Ideas of how his life was going to be in the next few minutes on...

Angel reached for the picture he had used a bumper and pulled it to him.

The only thing left was a page from a newspaper. He turned it upside down and slid it over.

"Don't turn that over just yet," he whispered.

She nodded and their eyes met again briefly.

"I love you," he told her, his voice barely audible.

Her eyes were sad and she reached for his hand but he jumped away, almost knocking stuff over. He reached for his chair and scooted it even farther away from her.

He was almost out of the room.

"Your mom' car's outside, as is a cab," he repeated, "The door's are both unlocked and you're free to leave. Just be careful. Make sure you have your phone close. And I swear I'm not going to hurt you or try to keep you here okay."

"Angel.. what are you..."

He lowered his head into his hands for a long moment then leaned back into the chair, resting his head back, staring at the ceiling. His heart was in so much pain he wondered how it was still managing to function.

"It was one of those visits... Connor was staying at a friend's and I'd gone to stay with one of my friends' as well who also happened to be my second cousin. On Mom's side of course," he said then sighed. "I... I don't really know what happened... one minute I was just hanging out with Will, then next I just felt an overwhelming sense of dread and a need to go home. It was late at night, we were supposed to be asleep, his parents had gone to bed long before this but I just had to get out of there. He tried to stop me thinking I was just crazy or something but... 'I had a feeling.' And I had to go. Thankfully, they didn't live too far away from us so running there wasn't some completely insane idea. So I took off and headed home, getting there as quickly as my legs would take me. When I got to the front gate, I slowed down and crept my way up to the house and inside. I wasn't supposed to be there and I wasn't exactly in a trying-to-piss-off-the-abusive-asshole kind of mood. So I looked around briefly in the front rooms then crept toward and up the stairs. I'd barely reached the top when I heard her scream. I gave up worrying about my presence being found out and went racing for the upstairs office, where I guessed the noise came from, and almost tore through the door to get in... and when I did..."

Angel thought he was going to be sick.

It was one thing to have to live with these memories. Images in his head, nightmares that came. Talking about it... it wasn't something he was used to or comfortable with.

It made it seem more real in some ways. Harder to bury.

It was harder to talk about then just have them to himself in his mind.

He'd only talked about this to those he had to. Holtz, police, a judge... another shrink or two besides Daniel as well. But that was different.

Connor never had to have this conversation with him. Jenny neither. No one who was close to him, who really knew him, mattered to him. But he didn't have a choice. He knew that. He'd always known that. And part of him wished he'd tried to prevent all of this from coming to be a little harder and kept away from her.

"You can turn the paper over now."

He heard the soft rustle of it and could almost feel her eyes looking down at it, reading over the key words quickly. It didn't have the details, those were carefully locked away, but it was there. The four murders of the Angelus family... That he and Connor were the survivors...

That he had been found inside...

Angel's hand rubbed his chest and he closed his eyes though the images didn't go away.

"Like I said, I didn't really put any of the pieces together about what was happening to my baby sister... so when I walked in on the scene I did... Kathy was... on top of his desk. She was laid out on her stomach, completely naked, showing off her every sign of abuse. When I had brought you back here and looked you over in the bathroom... you asked me if I had done that before. And I had. With both my mom and Kathy. But I hadn't since she'd locked up inside of herself. She wouldn't allow me to. So I wasn't used to seeing her like that. She'd been hurt in the past, but never anything like what I saw before me. She was marked up, scratched up, sliced up, bruised up... everywhere. There was hardly any part of her that was untouched. And she was screaming when she could and crying and trying to fight... Then she knew I was there. A second later, they did as well. My step-father was behind her, completely undressed as well, and was roughly pushing himself in and out of her. When he saw me, his eyes were burning in anger. He screamed something like 'What the hell...' My grandfather on the other hand... he was at the other end of the desk, his shirt was still on but unbutton, his pants were still on but unzipped... his hands were pulling on Kathy's hair as he... though she kept trying to fight against him... he was threatening her, I could only distantly hear a word or two... but I got the idea... When he saw me, he had a different reaction than his son. He looked shocked for a split second and then he laughed. He was saying something about how he thought I wanted to join... but I really couldn't hear him and he didn't really have a chance to finish."

Angel felt himself starting to shake but ignored it.

He didn't have a choice anymore.

"I went after him," he finally spoke, his voice not his own, "And he had expected me to but he still wasn't really prepared for it, so it wasn't that hard to take him down. He fought against me but I was younger, stronger, out of my mind, and I had a weapon up on him. I didn't know what it was... at the time. I barely remembered how it ended up in my hand. But I knew how to use it without thinking and I did. I kept hitting him and attacking him. He continued to try and fight me off but I was... too fucking out of my mind. I couldn't hear a damn thing or feel anything but my blood boiling. I just kept... and I didn't stop. I was in a blind fucking rage. I threw him down onto the small sofa... loveseat thing that was in the room. I jumped on top of him and let my fist meet his face as hard as I could a few good times. Then I snapped his neck."

Angel paused for a moment before going on.

He hadn't heard Buffy leave yet.

"A second later, I jumped back to the floor and spun around. He was still there, hadn't moved, hadn't tried to help his father. I really don't know how much time passed though so maybe he hadn't had the time but in any event... he remained." Angel began shaking harder in the seat. "I knew he was saying something to me. I could hear him... it was muffled like everything else was, but I saw his lips moving and his eyes on me. Then, he looked down at her and again I sprung across the room. He went flying back into the wall, I came crashing against him. He had a weapon of his own unlike his dear ol' dad but I really didn't register any of that either. I just went at him relentlessly. Anything that happened, that I did... I couldn't remember until after it was over. At the time... there was just nothing going on inside of me. I didn't know what I was doing, I was just doing. He was down, out and gone and I was still... somehow I finally realized he wasn't... anymore... and I let go. I let myself fall back, sitting on the blood-stained carpet, staring, unseeing. Then he fell over. And it started to hit me. There was a knife in his hand, it was completely covered in blood as was his hand still clutching it. I looked down at my own, not seeing anything. I didn't remember when I dropped my own. I actually still don't. I took a moment then stood up. I took a few steps back... away from him... then I looked to the side and I knew then what he had said to me... Along with not hearing him at the time, I also wasn't too good with seeing anything other than what was right directly in front of me... So I didn't see at the time... He was threatening me. He was telling me that he would kill her, slit her throat right there if I took another step. He managed the time to do it too. Without me even knowing."

Angel's hands covered his face, wiping away the tears that had spilled over.

"I took another few steps back and could see all of them together... everything I'd done... I was sick a few times, shaking, dizzy... and unable to hold myself up any longer as I fell back to the floor. And I was in there like that for three and half days. Then they finally found me. Us. Including Mom. I didn't know... hadn't even thought... And the whole time she was only a few short steps away. Their theory was that she was on her way to the room... wanting to stop them or who knows what... but collapsed on the way. She'd made it from the kitchen all the way up there... but she was too far... They had beaten and raped her that night as well... and she ended up bleeding out before anyone could help her... if I had known then..."

Angel stopped as Buffy stood up.

He'd barely caught the movement she was so fast.

Just as quickly, she was out of sight and he was hunched over on the floor before the front door even had time to close.


	21. Chapter Twenty One

Buffy knew that even though it had felt like an eternity, really only a few minutes had passed before she re-entered the house, feeling her heart shatter into a million more pieces as soon as she spotted Angel lying on the floor like that.

She knew that it didn't matter how much time had passed, leaving at all had been the worst possible thing she could have done and she regretted it with her entire being. She just hadn't known what else to do.

Quickly wiping away the remaining tears from her face and choking back the new ones threatening to come, Buffy hurried over to him, kneeling beside him there on the ground.

"Angel, it's okay," she whispered with a shaky voice, her hand reaching him shoulder gently, "I'm so sorry," she barely made out before losing the battle inside for control.

Angel was completely still for a long moment, then he slowly moved his arm out of the way in order to see her, and then he just stared, completely unbelieving that the sight he was greeted with was real.

He began to wonder just how hard he'd hit his head when he'd fallen down here.

Buffy was sure that no one had or could ever hate themselves more than she did at the moment as he continued to look at her in that way.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated then removed her hand from him, using it to bury her face as she cried her heart out, feeling completely terrified of how bad she must have fucked everything up.

She understood why Angel had thought she'd end up afraid of him or angry at him or something along those lines, she understood that if she were anyone else that maybe that would have been the case, but that was the farthest thing from her mind. She was a little too overcome by emotions, but none of those were among the long list running through her.

She didn't have the words to describe how she felt about the story of Angel's past that he had told her. She could remember him telling her more than once that their lives were too alike but she never thought...

"Angel, I'm so sorry," she cried out again, sorry for running out like she, sorry she couldn't keep it together, sorry for what he had been through, for what he still put his own self through. Buffy's body began to shake uncontrollably and she gave up trying to fight it, laying herself down beside him and letting them roll through her.

It hurt her more than she would have ever imagined possible to think of what he had been through, what he still had to deal with. To know that someone had hurt Angel, hurt him and his entire family, in such a way pained her more than anything she'd ever faced in her own life.

But then to think of how much he hurt himself over everything that happened, how much he blamed himself, how he was trying to live, how he thought of himself because of what happened to his poor little sister and his mother... She just... She had a hard time remember what exactly had happened... she just started to panic.

Buffy could picture everything clear as day... feel everything he must have felt. From the moment he realized just what was going on to realizing with his life, to when he realized how he had no way out of it, that no one was going to help them. She could feel the rush of disbelief that everyone else was actually trying to protect him, and how that turns into hopelessness, then to anger, into hate. She could see him begging his mother to save them just as she had for so long, see him switch to anger just as easily and blow up at her, she could see his mother standing before him begging for him to understand when there was no way he ever could. Buffy could feel the frustration of trying to get her to see that this wasn't right, what their life was, but just as he couldn't understand what she was staying for, she couldn't understand this.

Buffy could imagine Angel trying to protect her, Kathy and Connor with all that he could, just as she tried her hardest to do with her own mother and Dawn.

A thousand images passed through her mind of different injuries he must have taken, she could picture the others gathering around him when it was done trying to gauge how bad things were, trying to see if they really needed to get him some help. She could imagine when they had no choice, why they had no choice, and what would come from it.

She could look back at her every day and always know she was losing a little bit of herself with every one that passed and knew it was no different from what had happened to Angel as well.

She understood what made him go rushing home, understood that weird feeling that something was wrong, somehow you sometimes just know. Maybe it's something in the back of your mind that comes together, maybe you just sense it, but either way... from time to time... you just know. And it doesn't matter how crazy it may seem, doesn't matter that you don't understand why you're feeling such an overwhelming dread come over you, you just go with it.

When you begin to wonder why you're feeling like something is wrong... all those things you come up with have you running to stop them.

As she looked down at the newspaper, she could see a picture of the outside of what was once the Angelus' family home. She could picture going through that door just as he had that night, imagine quickly but carefully looking around not wanting to be found there by a certain someone... or in his case, someones.

She could picture a young girl's scream piercing through the air, rushing through him, she could feel the brief second where he was stunned but then went full speed toward the noise, nothing else having mattered anymore...

She shook as she saw the scene he painted in her head. She could see what they were doing to Kathy, see the poor girl struggling, she could make out their expressions, hear their voices... Buffy felt dizzy, picturing Angel going after them... The room and the rest of the world went black, all she could see was what he'd seen at that moment, what he'd described.

Her hands clenched as she thought of him attacking the two of them, the fight raging on.

The fight ending.

Light came back around her, she could see to the side, she could hear distant sounds... she could feel how everything came to him... how he realized what he had just done. She could feel the impact of it hit her so hard that she almost fell out of the chair... Then he told her the rest.

Three and a half days he had told her, she had barely made out as he spoke.

Three and a half days he remained in that room. By himself. With three dead bodies of his family... the fear, sadness and guilt... and the story didn't even end there.

She had wanted to do something, say something... but she couldn't. She wanted to comfort him, to tell him it was all okay, to do anything. But she just couldn't.

As she heard of him tell of his mother... how they found her when... she heard him breaking worse and worse with every word... and she lost it. The pain was crushing her. She was still shaking, still crying. Her throat was painfully closed up. She felt helpless, unable to do anything to help him, unable to make everything unreal, take it all away. She didn't know what to do, but she couldn't take just sitting there in that chair anymore.

Heading outdoors she found was the wrong thing to do. For countless many reasons.

The first she came to realize at that time was when the first burst of fresh air hit her, almost making her sick. She had barely stepped outside of the front door when she collapsed, fighting against it.

"Oh, God, Angel," she cried out loud, her body still doubled over, her body shaking violently.

Buffy knew just how easily this could have happened to her. She knew that was why she understood it all so well, better than most anyone else could have. She wished she had known him then, could have protected him, Kathy, Connor, his mother... much like she tried to do with her family. She wished it was her taking all of the pain he'd dealt with instead, saving him from it all.

She knew she would have gladly taken the place any one of them... in hope to save him just the smallest bit of heartache.

As the images continued and her mind wandered into different dark places, she hadn't heard the worried cab driver's slow approach to her there on the porch so when he his voice rang out to her she jumped a little, shrieking out a startled cry, scaring him in the process. And she knew she would have laughed at such an expression at any other time... but not now.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and held tight to keep from shaking.

"I'm sorry," she croaked out.

He took a moment then hesitantly stepped towards her. "Are you alright, Miss?" he whispered, his eyes flickering nervously toward the house.

It dawned on her then why he was acting so strange. Angel. Of course. He obviously knew who's house this was.

"I'm fine, fine, really," she lied and he didn't even come close to buying it.

He started to not-so-subtly ask if someone had done something to her and she glared.

"Angel wouldn't touch me," she ground out and he threw his hands up in surrender, taking a few steps back. "You're no longer needed here," she dismissed him angrily.

Watching him take his leave, her mind filling up with different images and memories, thinking back to how everyone acted around Angel.

She didn't know that Angel, she never really saw that side of him, she only knew the new one that everyone claimed she was responsible for. But, for the first time, she could see it... imagine it just as well as she had everything else. She could see him locked up inside of himself... not wanting to be around another living soul... angry, depressed, horribly terrifying...

She could imagine how was seen by everyone else... how they saw him in their memories... in the stories they'd tell when trying to warn her away... at least any that weren't just so completely over the top... She understood the feeling he gave off to everyone else.

She understood why he was the way he was.

She understood why he changed...

"Oh, God," she cried again and everything sunk in.

She didn't know how much of this she could take. Every time anything hit her, it came in waves. Realizing just how much she meant to the boy she left inside was no different.

Her palms pushed against the concrete porch so hard as she tried bracing herself that she was sure the indentions from the groves would be permanent markings.

Her head was spinning again, making her dizzy and wanting to get sick, she fought against it, the pain in her heart, the millions of new thoughts coming her way as her mind went in this new direction.

She had always known that Angel was different before he'd met her, every last person she'd met since coming here had told her so, but today she understood it, saw it for herself. She understood those little looks Jenny always gave her when she thought they weren't paying attention, she felt her throat burning as she remembered Jenny whispering a 'thank you' out of the blue one day, Jen's voices full of emotion. She understood why Connor had been so... why he pushed so hard for this, why he was so happy himself for the two of them, all his own remarks and comments...

She thought back to earlier, what Jen had said, how she had been acting...

Then she thought of Angel.

A burning pain ripped through her as she realized what she had done, that she had just up and left him at the worst possibly time, what he must be doing or thinking...

Crying out a few more times, she finally forced herself to stand up, turn around and with a shaking hand, she grabbed for the door, determined to fix everything she had just screwed up on, determined not to think back to her 'Why Angel changed when he met me' batch of thoughts... Especially not the part where she thought of Angel by himself... not how Jen saw it, Connor or anyone else... Just Angel... how much she meant to him... how much she realized he truly did love her... None of that. She couldn't handle it right now.

Not when it hurt so damn bad. Not when she knew how much he was hurting. Not when she didn't know whether or not she could fix this.

Clearing out all of those thoughts... she went inside and part of her really wished she hadn't as her eyes finally landed on him.

OoOoO  
Buffy ignored the fact that Angel had become completely still as soon as she started moving closer to him.

She ignored the fact that she hadn't felt him even take in a breath since she pulled her body up to his, pressing herself into him as much as she possibly could. She just wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest, she closed her eyes and held onto him as tight as she possibly could, remaining that way for what seemed like another eternity before she spoke.

"Angel," she whispered, "It's not your fault," she told him then pulled back a little so she could look at him, even if she was afraid of what she might find when she did. "You didn't know."

He didn't say a word but he didn't need to. His eyes told her everything.

"Angel, you did everything you could," she told him gently.

His jaw clenched.

"You didn't know."

"I should have," he whispered, his eyes darting away, his body somehow becoming more tense.

"Angel, I understand that you feel like you're at fault for what happened to them, I do, I get it." she whispered sadly. "I understand that you feel like you failed them. But you are not to blame for what happened. And your mother and your sister would not want you to go through life believing otherwise. They wouldn't want you to feel like this."

Angel huffed out an odd breath and she knew he was about to reply with some remark on how they wouldn't want to be where they are now either so she didn't give him the chance.

Before he could utter another sound, she pushed herself up a little higher to meet him face to face and cupped his cheek with her hand. "Angel, it's not your fault," she told him again.

Hurt flashed across Angel's face and he closed his eyes then let out a shaky breath, pressing his forehead against hers.

Buffy squeezed him to her again and quickly brought her lips to meet his.

She once again ignored him becoming still as a statue and continued about kissing him hungrily. She hitched her leg up up and over him and lowered her hands under the back of his shirt, running her palms over every bit of flesh she could find.

When she scratched her nails down his spine she smiled hearing him let out a small growl. When she repeated the action, he finally began to respond.

OoOoO

"Shit," Angel suddenly hissed out of nowhere and hurried to push himself away, panting as he went. Buffy groaned at the loss. She hadn't been prepared so he actually managed to get away from her this time "Shit," he repeated. "I'm sorry Buffy."

She remained silent, staring at him. He was a few feet away from her now but back to laying down, this time on his back. Mostly, he stayed quiet as well but he had let out a few more 'shit' and 'fuck' curses.

When he placed his hands over his face and sighed heavily into them, she took the opportunity, hurrying back over to him and crawling on top of him before he knew what hit him.

"Don't," she whispered, brushing her lips gently against his quickly before laying her head down on his chest, her hands sliding up to his and locking them together.

"Buffy, what are you doing here?" Angel asked softly after letting a few minutes pass between them quietly, just listening to her breathing and trying to understand what the hell was going on. "I told you that I murdered my family and now you're stradling me in the middle of my living room floor."

Buffy lifted her head and met his eyes once more. They were still confused as ever but he didn't look as utterly lost as he had.

"Why'd you come back?"

Buffy sighed. "I didn't leave... I just went outside for a minute, and I am beyond sorry for it, Angel, I am. I was never going to leave... I just... needed a minute to think... I'm sorry..."

Angel stared as she went on, apologizing many more times, eventually bursting back out into tears. Forgetting everything else for the moment, he pushed himself up and hugged her to him.

No matter what he could never stand to see her in pain.

"Shhh Buf," he whispered rubbing tiny circles on her back, "If anyone has apologizing to do here it's me, not you."

Buffy shook her head and clung desperately to him.

"Buffy," he sighed, "I killed my step-father and my grandfather. I just did. I didn't stop to think about it. At all. I just did it."

"You were protecting your family, Angel," she whispered back in between sobs.

"I got them killed in the process."

Buffy sat herself back to look at him, trying to wipe away the tears and catch her breath. "You are not to blame for what they did Angel. You are not responsible for what happened to your sister, to your mother. You couldn't have know what would happen."

"He warned me..." Angel barely made out.

Buffy shook her head. "That doesn't matter. Angel, it doesn't matter, they are still the ones who..." she trailed off, "Not you. You did not do this to them. You are not the reason why they're gone. You didn't know. And you don't know what would have happened if things had gone different. I know you've spent all of these years thinking up every which way that you could have gone about that night differently. But you don't know Angel. You don't know what would have happened, what could have been. You have no idea what they would have done, what would be different, the same. You did not know what he was going to do and even if you had heard him warning you... there's no telling what would have happened. I know that you only see things as if you had done anything different that night then things would have been okay... but it doesn't always work that way."

Angel swallowed. "I know... but I just..."

Buffy leaned forward and brushed her lips against his forehead. "I know. But you were not the one who was abusing them, Angel. You were not the one holding a knife to your sisters throat."

"Just the reason why."

"No. No, Angel you are not."

"Buffy..."

She cupped both her hands around his face. "Angel, please do not do this to yourself."

"I could have..."

"Angel, stop," Buffy pleaded, fresh tears falling down her face. "Just stop."

OoOoO

Exchanging the floor for the couch, Angel wrapped his arms around his tiny little blonde and held her to him.

He was still far from used to the idea that she was there... now... still... so remained hesitant with his every move. He was still waiting for the moment to come when she came to her senses. Waiting to watch those currently sad and tear filled green eyes widen in fear, her mouth to shape into a very shocked O, her face to pale drastically and either blow up at him or go running away as fast as she possibly could.

Or both.

Or worse.

Of all the things he had imagined, been trying to plan for... this certaintly didn't fit.

He was beyond greatful but also terribly scared.

OoOoO

"I went back home," Angel whispered, needing to get away from his thoughts. "That's where I was... where I went... why I wasn't there with you at the hospital."

Buffy pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Oh."

"I don't know why. I just felt the need to do it. I told Jen and she tried to talk me out of it but finally said the only way she was letting me go was if she could come too. So she did, Connor too. I went to the main psychiatrist who had been handed the job of putting up with me. Again, I don't really know why. It just seemed like the thing to do. Besides I did figure that if I went around beating up on your father that he should probably know. But I did..."

"I'm sorry."

Angel scrunched his eyebrows together. "For what?"

She gave an unamused laugh. "So much. But currently? You having to witness that. Even more so now given... That my own fucked up problems have to remind you of your own personal nightmares."

Angel kissed the top of her head. "Shhh," he whispered, "None of that." He felt her snuggle closer to him and paused for a moment before continuing. "I did feel the need to see someone though I guess. Someone who knew... someone who might be able to help. Something. It's always odd to see him but this time especially. I think that I may have even been more surprised by it all than he was. Which, is no easy task. Anyway, we talked for a little while. Mostly I just remained freaked out and he stared I should probably say, but we did talk some. I told him about you, us. He seemed pretty damn fascinated by that..."

"Who isn't?" she asked, her tone a little lighter making his heart sing.

"Good question," he almost smiled. "Eventually I did get around to telling him the other reason why I had come back home. And to see him. He wasn't happy about it, neither were Jenny or Connor, or myself least of all, but I needed to do it. It took a lot of work and convincing but he finally got me an okay to go back to the house..."

"What?" Buffy practically shrieked. "Jesus Angel! Why?!"

Angel cupped her chin for a moment, brushing her lips lightly against hers without thinking about it. "I don't know," he told her with a sigh. "I just... I knew I was going to tell you but it just felt like something I had to do before I did that. My family knows of course, the police, a few shrinks and such but I've never actually told anyone else. So I didn't know... and just went with it."

"You went inside?"

Angel nodded. "Yeah. I stared at it alongside Daniel for the longest time before I did. He offered to come in but I knew he really would rather do anything but so declined. I don't think I really wanted him to come in either but..."

"Wait, what? You went in there alone?!"

"Yes."

She hissed out a breath. "Jesus."

"I know, I know," he whispered gently. "It was a dumbass idea."

"You think?"

"Anyway. I did eventually go inside. No one ever moved in which was... odd, but it... helped. I looked around slowly and carefully, just looking, remembering, feeling. I took my time as I went, searching about every inch of the place. I checked out the downstairs longer, putting off going to the stairs as long as possible. But finally, I looked everywhere I could and had to. So slowly I made my way up, and broke off from my pattern and searched the upstairs, skipping over a few places and saving them for later." He took a deep breath. "I walked up and down the hall where my mother was found quite a few times and even tried to imagine where it was she had... Then I forced myself to the office," he said and couldn't help but shudder. "It was like being back there, as soon as the door opened. It was powerful, painful. It overwhelmed me. More than I had imagined it would. I've had the memories, thoughts and nightmares since... but being there again..." Angel shook his head and took another deep breath. "I just sort of fell apart. I don't know how long I was in there but all of a sudden Connor was there, partially breaking me out of the spell as that hadn't exactly been part of it. I don't know why he showed up, but there he was. And he had to yank me out of there and away from it all."

He shook again and felt Buffy wrap herself even closer to him again. He felt a tug on his heart.

"After we made it outside, we both sat down because we were both close to getting sick. Daniel came rushing over but gave us our space all the same. When we had a small bit of self control, we hurried away and went back to his place. Connor gave us some privacy but I honestly didn't want to talk about it. Thankfully, he didn't push much. He knew better but I appreciated it all the same."

"Did you get what you needed for it?" Buffy asked as he paused.

Angel thought for a moment. "I don't really know. I guess so."

Buffy just nodded against him.

OoOoO

"Buffy?"

"Hmm?"

Angel sighed and shifted uneasily. "The police who found me were scared shitless. Hell, all of them were. The whole station was just waiting for me to lose it. I went sent to the hospital then to a psychiatric clinic for awhile. Same results. I had to see shrinks, police, judges, lawyers... you name it... in order to see if I was able to be thrown back into the world basically. If I was fit. Everyone was terrified of the idea but somehow..." Angel shrugged.

It wasn't such a big deal to him. Most of that time he blocked out.

"My mother's parents had both passed on by then so they started contacting other members of the family. Of course, no one wanted anything to do with us. With me, I could understand. More than understand. They were terrified of me. Mad at me. Or both. I understood that. But no one wanted Connor. It wasn't that they wanted to break us up, they were just worried he'd follow in my footsteps. No one wanted to take any chances. It's was a miracle that Jenny did. She didn't wait to be contacted either. When she found out what everyone was doing she came up to claim us. I have no idea why. Honestly, she was just as freaked out by us as everyone else had been at first. And for the longest time she remained as so. I don't think she's ever gotten completely comfortable with me... well, maybe since you showed up she's gotten closer... but before that she always remained a bit... standoffish. But she eventually got used to it anyhow I guess. That could be because we're all she had now though. She pretty much got closed off from everyone else for taking us in."

"I'm sorry."

Angel shrugged then lightly traced his fingertips over her face for several minutes. "And then there's you," he whispered, his voice almost sounding dazed. "You're still here. You've never once been scared of me. Not even now. Not even after you know... You haven't been afraid. You haven't told me off, yelled at me for betraying you, for being... Nothing."

Buffy looked at him thoughtfully. "Why would I feel betrayed?"

"I kept that from you."

"I've kept plenty of things from you."

"Any murders?"

She sighed. "No," she answered and let silence fall between them. "I'm not mad at you Angel. And I'm not afraid of you. If anything, I've never felt safer."

"I don't understand," he whispered, his voice barely heard.

It broke her heart all over again.


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

No answer.

Jenny turned around and shook her head at the silent question in Connor's eyes.

No, Angel still wasn't picking up. Not at home, not on his cell. Buffy hadn't called her mother either.

She didn't know how long she was supposed to be giving them but she just couldn't wait any longer. She was far too worried about what might have happened.

She honestly wanted to believe that Angel was wrong, that Buffy would understand, that she wouldn't run off and out of their lives. She could hardly stand the thought herself. She didn't want to think of how worse off Angel would be now after he had these few months... She knew she couldn't blame Buffy if she did though. But she still hoped...

OoOoO

"Give me a minute," Jenny whispered over to Connor as she looked at the house looking for any signs of what she might find when she went in there but there were none. Joyce's car was still in the drive but the taxi cab was gone but that didn't exactly help.

Connor nodded, slowly getting out of the car and trying to make small talk with the other Summers females while Jen headed for the house.

When she stepped inside, Jenny found herself almost dizzy with relief as her eyes landed on the two sleeping forms on the couch. Her hand flew to her mouth and she couldn't stop herself from walking closer to them and looking them over.

Both of them were quite a mess, dried tears staining both of their faces, their hair and clothes all misplaced, their faces incredibly tired. But... they were both there, holding onto one another for dear life as they slept away.

She couldn't help but smile, leaning closer and brushing her hands over Buffy's hair. "Thank you," she whispered to the sleeping girl.

As she began to straighten herself up she watched Angel's forehead crease and his eyes blink open a few times before landing on her. His arms wrapped tighter around Buffy and Jenny smiled again.

"We made it back," she whispered softly to him.

Angel blinked his eyes tiredly again but nodded. A moment later he was lifting himself up off of the couch, Buffy still in his arms as he stood. He really didn't want Joyce and Dawn seeing them like this, more so didn't want to have to explain why they were looking rather haggard here, so he gave a looked toward his aunt then started carefully walking back to his room.

He was trying hard not to wake her but when he was just about to reach the hallway he felt Buffy beginning to stir.

"Hey," he whispered softly, "Jen and everyone's back, I'm just moving us to my room," he said then paused, looking down at her, "Unless you don't want to... I mean if you wa..."

Buffy shook her head and smiled sleepily. "No, no, Angel it's fine. I want to be alone with you," she told him throwing her hands around his neck and snuggling closer.

Angel breathed out a sigh he wasn't aware he'd been holding then resumed walking.

Buffy glanced behind them and saw Jen giving her one of those looks again. It made her feel like the pieces to her heart were pulling back together... only to be ripped apart again.

Buffy attempted to give her a smile then lowered her head back down to Angel and closed her eyes.

OoOoO

Connor came in and barely managed to sit Dawn down. He was glad Joyce had refused to let him carry her in because he didn't think he'd been able to as he looked around with no sign of Buffy or Angel in sight.

Jenny finally managed to catch his panicked eyes and smiled coming over to him. "They're fine," she told him.

"Buffy's still here?"

She nodded. "Yeah," she breathed out.

Connor closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. 'Thank God,' he thought then smiled. "We'll be right back," he told Joyce and Dawn, smiling wide and grabbing Jenny's hand and pulling her toward Angel's room.

She tried to protest but he ignored her and knocked on the door.

A few moments later he stood face to face with his brother who looked a little worse for wear. He gaped at the sight for a moment the pushed his way in dragging Jen behind him.

"What are you doing?" Angel asked with a yawn.

Connor let go of Jenny's hand and held his up at his brother for a second then climbed onto the bed and hugged Buffy back awake.

"Uh, hi there Connor," Buffy laughed and rested her head on top of his, laughing even harder as she saw Angel glaring at his younger brother who was all wrapped up with his girl.

"Connor," Angel growled.

Again, Angel went ignored. "You do know you're going to be stuck with us forever now," he whispered.

"I'll hold you to that," she replied with a smile then hugged Connor tighter. "Connor, I'm so terribly sorry for what happened to your mother and your sister."

He nodded, trying to wish away the pain threatening to overwhelm him. He never really like to think about it.

Connor kissed Buffy's cheek quickly then hurried out of the bed as Angel was now looming over him. He grinned and threw his hands up in mock surrender. "All yours, all yours," he joked earning a growl before Angel took his spot.

"You two need anything?" Jenny asked.

Angel looked down at Buffy who shook her head. "I think we're good for now."

"Okay, we just wanted to make sure everything was alright."

Before they reached the door however Buffy jumped up off the bed and went to hug Jenny as well. Neither of them could find the words to say so just held on to one another for a few extra seconds then smiled when they pulled away with tears in their eyes.

"Okay, okay," Connor said after becoming uncomfortable by all the high emotion running through the air and started pushing his aunt out the door.

OoOoO

"God, I must look like a mess," Buffy blubbered, wiping her face for the countless time today as she walked back to the bed.

Angel grabbed her when she was close enough and pulled her to him. "You're beautiful," he told her softly, the sound of his voice almost making her break out into more tears. "I love you, you know that?" he whispered, his lips brushing against hers as he spoke.

After this day, yeah, she knew. She didn't have a choice but to know.

Buffy cupped his cheek with her hand and brought him to her and into a blinding kiss that left them both panting for air when they parted.

"I'm going to ask you to do something later," she told him in a quiet, tired voice, laying her head back down on his chest and closed her eyes.

Angel looked at her curiously but agreed. He reached down to grab his blanket and pulled it over them and moved slightly to a more comfortable position and then let his eyes close as well.

"Angel, I am terribly sorry for what happened to your family. I am sorry you had to face such a horrible thing. And I would do anything I could to take that away," she told him then forced her eyes to flutter back open and kissed him once more. "It wasn't your fault."

"I'm always going to feel like it was."

"I know," she told him sadly.

"I love you."

"I love you too Angel. With everything I am. I always will."

Angel kissed her forehead, silently saying a prayer of thanks for whatever he must have done to deserve Buffy to be in his life, and soon they both drifted off to sleep.

OoOoO

Buffy woke up many hours later. It was well into the night, dark, and silent.

She turned her head to glance at the clock on Angel's nightstand then sighed, laying her head back down. Angel was still asleep and she wasn't ready to wake him yet.

She closed her eyes and thought back over the day. Even just thinking about it seemed to wear her back out by the time she was through.

She looked up at Angel, mesmorized by how peaceful, sweet and innocent he looked. She had to swallow back the tears that came rushing forward.

She'd never get over what happened to him either, she was sure of that. But... But she did not want to wallow in it. Not right now. And it was certainly not going to destroy them. She wouldn't let it, let it destroy him any longer.

Buffy gave herself a few more minutes to calm down then she slid her body over his, her arms running over his chest then to his arms up to his hands and locking them together, her knees planted firmly against him as she stradeld him again, then she leaned down and licked at his earlobe.

"Angel," she whispered before nipping at him some, "Angel," she called again, her tone lighter, closer to the playful one she was hoping to get out.

Angel groaned and mumbled some but was still quite out of it.

Buffy smiled down at him then began to trail kisses from his ear down his neck, her hands started sliding their way back down the way the came, down his arms, over his chest, down to the hem of his tee shirt. She tugged on it, her eyes checking to see if he was awake yet, when she noticed he still was off in dreamland she slid her hands underneath, pulling it up as she went.

Buffy bit lightly into Angel's throat and smiled at the sound he made. She gave his lips a fleeting kiss then lowered herself to the newly exposed treasures of flesh she'd uncovered.

Buffy placed her hands on either side of Angel and scratched her nails down to his hips. Not enough to wake him just yet, but to get some more sexy growls and moans out of him... as well as a... er... rise out of him.

Given her current position, that only pushed her forward.

She lowered her lips to his very warm stomach and went to work placing little nibbles and bites, open-mouth kisses and flicks of her tongue everywhere she could. And as she headed North, she became more aggressive. She pushed Angel right into full awakeness when she brought her hands back up to push his shirt a little higher, her nails dragging hard against him this time making him hiss as his eyes popped wide open.

Buffy flicked and bite at his nipples then she smirked and slid herself back up to him. "You up?" she asked with a smile.

Angel grabbed her, his lips crashing against hers with punishing force, one hand squeezing her ass as he pushed her into his growing erection. Buffy couldn't help but rub herself against him, making them both moan so loud they thought they'd have woken the whole house up.

"Mmm, I'll take that as a yes," Buffy panted, barely getting it out before being flipped over to her back, Angel blanketing her body with his own.

"You're not supposed to be here," he whispered, more to himself than her, then crushed his lips back down to hers.

"This is exactly where I'm supposed to be," she argued they came up for air. "And I'm not going anywhere."

He looked at her for a moment. There were too many emotions floating in those blackened eyes for her to tell one for the other. "Buffy, if you stay now... I don't know how I'd ever be able to let you go... I don't think I'd survive."

"And you think if you lost me now you could?"

"No," he admitted.

"Angel, I'm not going anywhere," she repeated. "I'm yours for as long as you want me."

OoOoO

It had hit her hard earlier, as everything else had earlier, when she realized just what she had done to Angel, what she'd brought out in him, how she'd helped him, how much she meant to him.

And not just him, but to Connor and Jenny as well.

And it was hard for her grasp, to deal with. She'd never felt important to anyone, really loved by anyone and when someone finally did it was to that sort of magnitude. It wasn't something she was prepared for, used to, not something she ever thought she'd have to deal with.

And she tried not to.

She hadn't been ready to deal with it or think about it earlier. It remained in the back of her mind though, but she tried her best to keep it there, wishing it away until she had a little more time.

But, one thing was clear about realizing how much she meant to Angel... she wanted him to know just how much he meant to her as well. And she knew that if he let her, she'd do her best to get that message across.

OoOoO

After having pratically ripped it off of him, Buffy threw Angel's shirt to the side and began running her hands over his far too perfect body that she was back on top of. She knew Angel had been wanting to do this to her... as had she quite frankly... but she had other plans in mind. Also, she didn't really think he was fully back to "himself" just yet. He did seem as emotionally charged as her after waking up and seeing she really stayed and all that, but he always seemed to have a bit more control than she did.

But... she was working on fixing that.

As her mouth busied itself with one of his nipples again, her hands snuck down to the top of his jeans and began to work on the button and fly.

"Shit," Angel groaned as Buffy's tiny hands slid inside and began stroking him as her mouth continued to work its own magic, seemingly everywhere.

Buffy covered every inch of his upper body... many times over... before her lips found their way back to his. "Angel," she breathed out, not making things any easier on him, "Remember how I told you I was going to ask you to do something earlier?"

Angel tried to think but it was hard, he was completely centered on her hand rubbing up and down his length and too many thoughts of what else could be performing such an act.

Thankfully, she didn't actually wait for him to answer.

OoOoO

Angel remained stunned as Buffy worked on getting the rest of his clothes off. His belt jingled as it hit the floor, mixing in with Buffy's laughter. His eyes flickered to her and he swallowed as he watched her situated herself between his legs.

Buffy locked eyes with him, flashing him her best amused grin before taking him in her mouth. He hissed and groaned, his hands fisting in the sheets as he watched.

Buffy took her time, drawing out every incoherent noise Angel could possibly make as she explored every last inch of his manhood at a painfully slow rate.

"Fuck," Angel growled, his head falling back to the pillows, fighting the urge to thrust deeper and faster into her hot, wet mouth. It was damn well next to impossible though. She was killing him here.

OoOoO

With a pop, Buffy finally released Angel.

She gave one last long lick up his shaft and swirled her tongue around the tip then she pulled herself away and started to sit up.

She was perfectly happy to this all night, but once again, she had bigger plans to fulfill.

She had barely untangled herself for her shirt and bra when Angel pulled her to him, his mouth latching onto her breast. Buffy's hands buried in his hair, holding him to her. "More," she cried, bowing against him. Then the next thing she knew, Angel was growling, flipping them over, trading positions once again. He switched to her other breast, his hands roaming, his body rubbing against hers. "Angel!"

Swearing in a few different languages, Angel dipped one hand inside Buffy's pants, right off the bat becoming aware of how wet and ready she was for him.

Sliding one finger into her channel, they both let out a string of new curses.

"You're going to be the death of me," he growled, already adding a second finger.

She'd asked him to lose whatever control he had left, to let go of whatever he had still inside of him that was keeping him away from her, and he was on the brink of doing just that, barely hanging on by a thread here.

"Angel," Buffy moaned, "I want you."

Angel pressed his forehead down to the bed and closed his eyes. What she truly wanted, asked for, was trying to get... he didn't think he could deny it anymore. And it scared the shit out of him.

"Angel," she groaned again, impatiently already pushing her pants down her own self.

Angel sighed and lifted his head back up and finished the job, admiring the view he was left with. "God, Buffy," he whispered hoarsely, his eyes raking over her skin slowly.

She smiled and opened her arms for him and he had no other choice but to go to her. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she met his hunger every which way.

"Angel, please," she whispered, reaching between them to place him at her slick entrance.

Angel reached his arms out, one hand gripping the side of the bed, the other the headboard. "Buffy," he strangled to get out, "You have to be one hundred percent sure you want to ask me to do this."

"Angel, I want you. I want you inside of me. Now. And I swear to God, if you do not then I will flip you back over and impale myself on to of you."

Angel half-laughed, half-groaned. He fully believed she would.

"Buffy..."

"I love you," she told him, her voice more gentle this time, "I want to be with you."

Angel reached over to his bedside table and grabbed for a condom. "You're sure?" he forced out.

Buffy kissed him forcefully. "Yes."

Angel gave up fighting.

OoOoO

It didn't matter how many stories he'd heard, books he had read, movies he'd seen... nothing could have possibly prepared him for this.

Pushing forward as gently as he could muster, Angel kept his eyes locked on Buffy's face for any signs of pain or fear or regret and the such but there were none... then he met up with the barrier of her innocence.

"Buffy," he whispered, holding completely still.

She placed her hands on both sides of his face and pulled him down, kissing him softly, "It's okay, Angel," she told him, mentally bracing herself for whatever pain she was about to endure.

Angel gave her a long and thoughtful look then brought her lips back to hers. "I love you," he whispered, one hand snaking between them. "Careful," he warned when Buffy began bucking her hips as his fingers tormented her clit.

It was also a warning to himself, he knew she was close, and was afraid he might withstand it.

Buffy squeezed his neck in one hand, one of his wrists with the other as she felt the first waves of pleasure come rushing over her. She couldn't help but squirm against him anymore. "Angel, Angel, Angel," she chanted breathlessly, "Oh fuck, God, Angel, Angel..."

Angel gave her one last hard pinch, sending her completely over the edge. He clenched his jaw for a moment trying to not lose it himself, then pushed his way through and they both practically screamed out a few more explicit curses.

"Holy unfgh..." Buffy moaned.

"Are you okay?"

Buffy snickered. "Are you kidding me? I am fan," she moved her hips slightly and let out another moan, "fucking tastic."

Angel laughed himself and kissed her briefly, Buffy's hips started to rock against him again and he took that as an okay to continue.

OoOoO

"Holy shit, Angel I'm gonna..."

Not wanting the rest of the house... or the entire neighborhood at that... to be alerted to what the two of them were doing in his bedroom, Angel silenced her, all the while never breaking his rhythm as he thrust in and out of her.

Angel pulled himself completely out of Buffy's heat, then slammed with all his might back into her, making her scream into his mouth as her orgasm came to take her away. He gave a dark smile then slammed back into her two more times before joining her in perfect bliss, vaguely remembering to keep his weight off of her.

OoOoO

All Buffy could see was stars and a bright white light. She didn't know how much time had passed nor did she care. She was perfectly happy with ragged breath and her body still shaking with pleasure shocks.

"Thank you," she panted.

Angel gave a husky laugh and rolled off of her, bringing her with him to cradle in his arms. She happily went, curling herself against him.

"No regrets?" Angel asked her after a few moments.

Buffy tilted her head to look at him and smiled, "None at all. You?"

He bent down and kissed her nose. "Never."

Buffy nervously danced her fingers over his chest for a minute then looked at him, worry and concern clouding her eyes. "So we're okay right?"

"Shh baby," he whispered, drawing her on top of him, "Don't sound like that, you're breaking my heart," he told her. "We're gonna be fine."

"Promise?"

Angel paused and thought it over. "Yeah," he breathed, "I promise."

He finally believed they would be.

OoOoO

Once again, Buffy found herself awakeing before Angel. She blinked her eyes open a few times then a wide grin spread over her face as their earlier activities came to mind. Looking down, she noticed they were still rather nude and uncovered and she blushed.

Wiggling herself from Angel's death grip, she reached down to the floor and grabbed Angel's shirt and threw it on, then she reached for her cell phone. Giving her sleepy man one last glance, Buffy tip toed her way to the door and headed to the bathroom. She'd thought about going outside but as she didn't add anything else to her current outfit she then decided against it.

Flicking on the bathroom light, Buffy walked over to the comode and put the lid down and then started dialing.

Even though she was nervous as all hell, there was only one person she wanted to talk to right now and share the information about what she'd been up to with.

Buffy bit her lip in anticipation.

"Hello?" came a groggy female voice on the other end.

Buffy sucked in her breath and started to question what she thought she was doing. 'Shit!'

"Hello? Hello?"

Buffy brought one leg up to her chest and took a deep breath. "Hey Faith," she finally said, her voice shaking.

OoOoO

It was the middle of the night when it came to him, completely out of nowhere, when a face from his past entered his dreams.

"Joyce Tucker," he said as his eyes opened.

Daniel rubbed his eyes then sat up in the bed and shook his head, one hand going up to his mouth and tapping against his lips.

"No," he whispered out to himself. "Joyce Summers. She got married. Her last name changed to Summers." He let out a huge sigh. "She'd had a kid. A daughter. Elizabeth Anne. Summers. Buffy."

Daniel's hand clasped over his mouth and he closed his eyes. He didn't want to be right, but he knew, without a doubt, that he was.

Liam Angelus was dating the daughter of the one who got away from him. His high school sweetheart.

He had seen her at their first high school reunion... he found out she was living in California then, had gotten married, and she had her first child only a few years before. It had stung worse than he would have expected, after all they had not seen one another since high school, and he himself had been married at the time as well. But God, did it ever.

And it took a long time for that pain to go back away and into hiding, but when it did, it did and he hadn't thought of her again.

Until now apparently.

"Shit," he cursed. "What the hell did you do to her?" he asked angrily. The girl he had known was smarter than that. She'd lived with terror for so long with her own father, swearing to never become like her mother, swearing she'd be different. "So what happened?" he wondered out loud.

She was the reason he chose this career path. He hadn't known how to help her, but these days he liked to think he knew how to help others. "And maybe I can help her after all," he thought and hurried out of bed.

OoOoO

Angel had never seen anything anything more beautiful, so perfect in his entire life.

All of his worries and fears went right out the window at the sight before him. He couldn't even remember what they were.

Everyone else in the room fell away. There was only her.

Gone was the preacher standing behind him, his brother to the side serving as his best man... which she was responsible for but in the end he was glad it was Connor, Xander, Oz and Jesse serving as the groomsmen, Dawn as the maid of honor, Willow and Faith as the bridesmaides, Jenny and Joyce both as they stood disappeared into the darkness with the rest of them.

There was only her.

Buffy's eyes were locked on his even with the tears threatening to spill from those precious emerald gems. She had a nervous, but playful, and happy smile on her face.

And she was all his.

Forever.

That's what today was all about after all.

It seemed like an eternity, but finally she was there with him, and he finally noticed the gentleman giving her away.

With great effort, he looked away from his beautiful bride and over to his former high school librarian and he smiled. "Thank you, Jeeves," he whispered, barely loud enough to be heard but Buffy tried not to laugh and Mister Rupert Giles patted his arm and flashed him a smile.

"You're more than welcome," he replied softly, handing Buffy over to him and leaving them to go find his seat, fading back out as Angel's attention returned fully to his bride.

"I love you," he whispered as they took their places.

"I love you more," she whispered back.

At the tone in her voice he expected her to stick out her tongue and laugh but she managed to hold back. Just this once.

He still held out a chuckle at the thought though.

Somehow they made it through, he managed to do what he was supposed to, say the words he was supposed to, but he didn't know how. He'd finally dared to take in the rest of her a few minutes in and was too busy drowning in every inch of her. Including some of his favorite inches which were looking close to popping out of her gorgeous gown. He knew he was lingering too long when he noticed her turning pink.

He threw her a 'Well, what did you expect?' look when he dared to look up and saw her trying to subtly call him out on the oogling her. Now, of all times. But he knew with that look all the same that she really didn't mind so it was safe to say it happened a few more times before the ceremony ended.

Before he knew it, they were being pronounced husband and wife and he planted one not-very-appropriate-for-church kiss on his lady and he felt a burst of happiness flood through him as it hit him then.

OoOoO

"See something you like," Buffy asked over her shoulder as they walked toward the limo they had asked not to have but were given anyway.

Angel looked over his own shoulder making sure everyone was far enough away then growled and picked her up and carried her the rest of the way.

He threw her playfully down the seat then wasted no time climbing on top of her.

He barely heard what the driver said but nodded then rolled the window divider up and then let his hands start to roam over his beautiful new Missus and his face buried in her cleavage, his tongue sliding its way between the two mounds.

"Aaangel," Buffy moaned, feeling his hands sliding under her dress, up her legs and coming dangerously close to where she needed him right now.

"Uh huh?" his muffled reply came.

"We," she panted, one finger starting to tease her hardened bud through her panties, "We can't do this," she barely made out before her head fell back and she could only moan his name.

Angel lifted his head and smiled darkly before dipping back down to pepper kisses over her breasts. "Honey, we have done this a million times."

Her fingers dug into him as his slid into her slick heat and began pumping in and out of her. "Aaanngel! Never on our wedding day in the back of a limo," she reminded him.

"So?"

"So..." she trailed off for a moment, unable to think of anything but how bad she wanted this right now too, but fortunately and unfortunantly at the same time a little part of her wasn't completely lost just yet. "So... it's supposed to be a bit more... oh fucking God... spe.. special."

His head tilted back up and she watched as he ran his tongue back up inbetween her heaving breasts.

"Fuck!"

"Are you saying this isn't special?" he asked, clearly amused.

She didn't answer, she meant to but then he started moving down her body, placing hot kisses randomly over her body that she could feel the heat from through the fabric.

"Angel!" she finally yelped as he began positioning himself between her legs and tried to sit up. "We can't do this in here!" she tried to tell him again.

"Why not?" he asked, his hand pushing her dress up a little and his head dipping down to taste her knee then up her thigh.

"Because... because we are in the back of a limo! There is some unknown man up there who can hear us. And we'll be at the reception party in probably less than two minutes. It's not that far away you know."

He continued working his way up her thighs until he reached the sides to her dripping wet lace underwear and pulled his head back out from under. "So? We'll get there, kick him out then go in when I'm finished," he told her with a smirk.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "They'll come out here to get us. You know that."

"Again, I say 'so?' We'll lock the doors and ignore them. If they really get to be a nusance, I'll scare them off," he told her proudly.

Buffy rolled her eyes again. "You know you don't scare any of them anymore."

Angel's smirk grew into the widest grin she could remember seeing. "I could."

OoOoO

Buffy had never seen him like this. He always wanted her, as she always wanted him, but this was just... there wasn't even a word for it! She knew she was in trouble the second he stopped answering her and letting her have those brief moments to get herself back together while they talked this thing out.

His mouth was a bit busy with other activities at the moment and she was grasping for straws. Or, a bit more literally, grasping at his head trying to push him closer to her and push him away both.

When she heard the sound of crunching gravel from a new arrival she finally grabbed a handful of hair and tugged him back and felt her whole body shake as he met her eyes. He was like a man dying of thirst and the only thing he was craving was drops of her. "Fuck, stop looking at me like that," she whispered. He smirked and tried to free himself and return to her nether regions but she pulled him back against just in time.

"Buffy," he growled, no longer smirking.

And in that moment she had to laugh, even if a bit too huskily, because she realized that what him in leather pants was to her, her in this dress was to him. And that, somehow, turned her on even more.

Buffy smirked and pulled his head back even farther then began trying to gather herself up as much as possible, ignoring his protests along the way.

She pulled herself up with the use of his pretty chocolate locks and then twisted around so she could sit on his lap. She immediately came in contact with his hardened cock and his hands pressing her firmly down upon it. Not that she needed them to, her body was reacting with the same intentions all on its own.

The both groaned at the contact.

"Well darlin' if you wanted to be on top that's all you had to say."

Buffy laughed again and bent her head down to kiss him quickly. "I'm gonna make you a deal."

"Are you now?"

"Uh huh," she kissed him again, lingering a little longer this time. "Give me three hours. Tops. And I..."

"Buffy, I plan to give you a lot longer than three hours," he told her, his voice dripping sex.

"God, you have to stop doing that," she replied, her head falling back some as she moved her hips, grinding herself against him.

"Not gonna happen."

"Ugh!" she shook her head but did not stop her lower bodies movements. "Three hours. Tops. In there. And then you can have me all to yourself. In this..."

"I can have you all to myself right now," he told her then surprised her by catching her off guard and flipping her back under him.

"Angel! Let me finish!"

"Mmm, let me finish first."

"Angel! I'm going to hurt you," Buffy threatened.

"Trust me babe, you already are." And he groaned to make his point.

"Angel," she whispered, bringing his ear to her lips, "If you go in there and give me a few hours then you can have me all to yourself. In this dress. You can do whatever you want to me... after. And.. and" she hurried before he could break in, "I'll put it on at any other given time, as long as I still fit, any time you want for the rest of our perfect little life together." And again before he could say he could have such a thing anyway, she continued, "Otherwise, I'm gonna take it off and burn it," she threatened.

Angel growled and bit into her neck. She couldn't help herself but moan and arch into him, one hand sliding down to grab his ass.

"I'm fairly certain I can't make it that long."

Buffy would have laughed but he sounded too serious and she kissed him instead. "We'll get out of here as fast as we can, but we have to go in there."

He sighed. "You're dress won't live to see another day if you force this torture on me."

This time she did laugh. "Well I'll just have to have it repaired then. Oooh, or buy others."

Angel groaned. "Fine," he finally told her, sounding none too happy about it. "But you better make good on this."

She smiled and put an X over her heart. "Cross my heart, hope to die!"

He groaned again and reluctantly pulled himself away and sat up beside her. "Fine fine," he told her once again then looked down at the tent in his pants. "But you gotta give me a few minutes."

OoOoO

Angel was sure that these were the three longest hours in the history of time. But when the clock finally reached its desired time, he practically jumped up and went in search for his lady love.

Buffy cursed inwardly as she saw Angel coming toward her, looking like he was stalking his prey, which, of course, he was. And that prey happened to be her.

Not that she minded and not that it was what she was cursing about. But the reception hadn't flown by as quickly as she hoped. It was still pretty much over with but she was in the middle of thanking some of the guests when his hands wrapped around her waist and he pulled her back against him.

"Time to go, Lover," he whispered in her ear.

"We can't just up and leave," she whispered back, wanting to just that herself though.

"Buffy, if we are not out of here in the next two minutes I am going to bend you over this table, hike up the back of your dress, rip those pretty panties of of you and throw them over my shoulder where they will probably land on your Aunt Laura's head and then fuck you in front of every last person in this room."

Buffy shivered against him and felt some wetness slid down her thigh at the visuals he put in her head. "Okay," she croaked. Angel wiggled his eyebrows and she slapped his chest. "Let's go," she whispered.

He smiled softly despite everything going on inside of him and kissed her head before glancing across the room quickly. He met Connor's eyes and gave him a knowing look. Connor has been teasing him about staring at Buffy this whole time so he had to know. Connor chuckled and nodded and Angel cleared his voice, grabbed a glass of champagne and thanked everyone for coming as quickly as he could, downed it, then continued with the goodbye speech as he walked then backwards out of the room.

They both had to keep their laughed inside at the looks on everyone's faces as they tried to leave. There was a nice mixture of everyone's reaction but it was clear they all knew what was going on. But when the swinging doors closed and they stood alone out in the hallway, it was all forgotten.

"How far away is the hotel?" he asked, his face buried in her hair, his lips nipping at her neck, his hands practically holding her up as they went toward the door.

"Mmm, I'm not sure. Ten, fifteen minutes maybe?"

"Fuck!" he groaned.

Buffy had to agree.

OoOoO

"Oh! You two are the newlyweds! Aren't you just adorable!"

Angel growled softly.

The lady at the desk tried to have a conversation, not noticing how much of a bad time this way, and eventually Angel had enough. She seemed like a nice enough girl and he was a lot nicer himself these days, but this just was not the time. Removing his head from its hiding place behind Buffy, he gave a look, 'the look', that he hadn't used in years, scaring the holy hell out of the poor girl.

'Still got it,' he thought almost happily.

He was more happy with getting away from the motor mouth and on their way up to the room.

OoOoO

In the elevator, Angel spun Buffy around and pulled her back to him, kissing her slowly, trying to calm himself down so this didn't end up over before it began.

Breaking away when the needed for air became to great, Buffy smiled at him, a little dazed, and then sighed contently and laid her head against his chest.

Angel kissed the top of her head and swayed their bodies to the godawful music playing in the tiny moving space.

"I'm the luckiest girl in the world," Buffy said after a pause. Her voice childlike and filled with pure joy.

Then she yawned.

Angel kissed her head once again and rubbed her back. "Buf," he told her softly, "If you just want to lie down and go to sleep or something we can."

Buffy tilted her head back to look at him and almost cried at the sincerity.

"I mean it," he told her though she didn't need him to. "We don't have to do anything tonight."

Buffy smiled, a little shakingly, and shook her head. After a beat she stepped back and looked him over then smirked. She looked around the tiny space to see if she could spot any camera's or something but if there were any, she couldn't see them, so then she put her hands on Angel's shoulder's and pushed down until he got the picture, even if he remained a little confused. When he was down on his knees before her, she smiled and checked behind her quickly, then she lifted her dress up and flung it over his head.

It didn't take as long this time for him to get what she was going for.

OoOoO

Angel was practically undressed by the time they reached their room.

Kicking the door close behind him, he hurried his hands to his pants and in a matter of seconds had every last bit clothing that had remained off and in a pile on the floor.

Growling, he brought Buffy back into his arms and started walking them over to the large bed that was covered in rose petals. He thought it was a bit... a bit... but when Buffy was laid down in the mess he gained an appreciation real fast. Especially when she bounced up and they all went flying with her.

Angel ran his hands under her and felt around the back of her dress. He was keeping this contraption on her, no question, but he thought it might go better if she could breathe. So he undid some of the buttons and untied something back there that he couldn't see. Everything remained in place but she looked like she could breathe a little easier so he was good.

Next he slipped off her shoes and tore off her panties, leaving everything else in place.

Angel cupped her cheek and bent down to kiss her as gently as possible. When his head popped back up, he took several minutes to just stare down at her, memorizing everything about this moment.

"I love you so much," he whispered, his hands dancing over her, everywhere.

Buffy looked like she was going to cry again. She brought her hands up to either side of his face and pulled him down to her. "Make love to me," she whispered back.

There was a ghost of a smile on his lips before he kissed her once more, then began trailing down her neck and chest, positioning his throbbing cock at her entrance.

'Mine,' he thought as he began to...

OoOoO

Angel groaned as he woke up. 'That is so unfair,' he thought.

Sighing, he turned some in the bed and felt around for his dream woman... only to find himself alone. Frowning, he turned over again and felt around for his light, which confirmed she was not there with him once it came on.

Groaning, he made himself get out of the bed and searched around for his boxers, which took some time and brought a stubbed toe in the process but finally he did.

When he poked his head out into the hall, he noticed some light coming from under the bathroom door and quietly made his way over to it. As he got closer, he could hear Buffy talking to someone on the other side. He was curious and a bit confused but didn't want to invade her privacy or something so started to walk away until he realized she was saying goodbye.

He stood there like an idiot for a few moments then knocked on the door. "Buf? You okay?" he asked softly.

A moment later the door opened and she flung herself into his arms.

"Hey," he soothed, stumbling back a step. "You alright?"

"Yes," she replied, wrapping her legs around him.

Angel sighed and returned them to the too bright bathroom and sat her down to the floor. "You sure?" he asked when he looked her over.

Buffy wiped her eyes and nodded, laughing a little. "Yeah, yeah. I just... I called Faith and it was a bit..."

Angel gave her a look of surprise then smiled and kissed her. "Good for you. Everything... alright... with you two?"

"Getting there, I hope. We're gonna hang out next weekend."

He smiled.

"And by 'we', I mean me, her and you."

Angel laughed. "Alright."

Buffy beamed then threw her arms back around her. "Did I wake you?"

He groaned. "In a way..."

Buffy finally acknowledged his erection pressing into her. "Mmm, I guess I should help you get back to sleep then."

Angel smiled. "And how do you plan on doing that, my dear?"

She looked deep in thought for a long moment. "Well... I could get you some warm milk and read you some bedtime stories? Or..." she reached behind him to turn on the shower, "I could help you take a long, hot shower and wear you out until you're so exhausted that you can't even keep your eyes open anymore."

Angel lifted his tee shirt off of her tiny body in a hurry. "I'll go with option number two."

Buffy giggled as he picked her up and carried them into the shower stall. "Good choice."

"I thought so."

OoOoO

Angel pushed himself into her hot channel as slow as possible, inch by inch.

"You and I, we are getting married," he ground out then plunged the rest of the way into her making her gasp, "Soon."


End file.
